“Hana-neechan!” I shout out the name of a girl who’s sitting in the corner of that café. The girl just gazes up for a moment then she continues reading her book.

“What is it Mr. Idol, too much free time?” she said as she sip her coffee.

“You’re so mean onee-chan, don’t you miss me?” I said and sat in front of her.

She stares at me then smile, “Of course I miss you my cute ototo,” she pinched my cheek.

“Ittai,”

She smiled, then she back to read the book.  And I just watch her like that. Hana Mizukawa. She’s  two years older than me. She used to be my neighbor, but she moved out due some reason. I met her five years ago, before I debuted. My beloved onee-chan. Yeah I love her as a man. Don’t ask me since when, because when I know it she’s became so special for me. Unfortunately, this love is one sided. She just thinks me as her ototo. okay, why can I be so sure about it is because of this:

4 years ago.

As usual, I met her in this café. But that time she’s wearing….a dress? Okay, she look beautiful, but, I feel something was wrong

“Onee-chan you look beautiful, ”

“Ah, Ryosuke, arigatou. By the way what is it you want to give me?”

I handed her a letter.

She was a bit puzzled. She giggled as she opened that letter.

“What is this?” she asked.

“A…l..love letter,” answered me falteringly.

She read that letter out loud. This made me feel burning sensation in my cheeks.

“To: Hana-neechan, the one I cherished

This is the first time that I’m writing to you.

Normally I wouldn’t be able to say this because I’m too shy,

But I have something I must ask you, so I wrote this letter

I want  to send this word to you whom I like so much

I want to love you more than to be loved

Really

Although irresponsible, and not someone you can depend on

I want to love you more than you love me

And I seriously want to protect you

Right now I’m still a child who can’t support you

But, I would like to become a man who can protect you

So until then, please wait for me,

Yamada  Ryosuke”

“So…,” I tried to read her expression.

“Wow! This letter is sure something!” she said excitedly

“Eh?”

“To whom you are giving this letter to?”

“Eh..?”

“The girl would really fall for it, it’s sugoi!,” 

“Demo…, I”

“You want me to judge your letter right?”She looks at her watch, “I think I should go now,”

“Where?”

“My boyfriend birthday party,”

“What?! Your boyfriend?” I forgot about the love letter topic “Since when did you have boyfriend? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Did i?” she answered as she packs her things to her bag. “Anyway, I should go now. And make sure you give that letter to the one you like. I’m sure she’ll be happy, tell me who she is later” she stopped for a moment, “Jya na,”

‘I am giving it to the one I like, baka oneechan!’

She’s in sensitive as always.

…

Hana-neechan enter a big house with ‘Kuroshima’ tag name in it. She seems so happy. What am I doing? Okay, I follow her. Out of curiosity. Ah, she just come in. so, I guess I don’t need an invitation card or something like that to enter that party. So, I carefully followed her. 

It seems like a garden party. And, wait, something’s wrong. The dress code, onee-chan wears white dress, and the other just wear casual clothes. What is this?

I can’t hear them, but I see oneechan protest to a guy wears a blue t-shirt. I think she realized that she wore wrong dress code. Let her be, she just makes fun of my letter anyway.

“ano…, are you by any chance, Yamada Ryosuke?” a girl voice startled me.

“Do I resemble him so much? Many people say that,” I tried to cover myself.

SPLASH

I turned back. And I saw oneechan in the pool. Being a laughing stock. But she just  standing there.  Hugging herself.

“Hana-neechan!” I unconsciously shout out her name. I ran and threw to pool myself to get oneechan. Just realize that oneechan wears a white dress, if she came out, her body will be exposed

“Ryosuke! What are you doing here?”

I took of my jacket and slung it over her shoulders. “Ikou,”.  I hide her on my shoulders.(it’ll be easier if I am  taller).I didn’t care about that letter anymore.  I didn’t care everybody’s watching us. I didn’t care if somebody might’ve taken my picture and started gossip. The only one in my mind is I should get oneechan out of here and calmed her down.

“You should go home now, oneechan,” I said. When we’re sitting on the park bench we used to go.

She shook her head and just staring at the plain ground.

“You’ll get cold,”

She stared at me then suddenly she hug me. And I can smell her fragrance, vanilla.

“Oneechan…,”

“I believe him. Really. But he just set me up so his friends think that I am a whose obsessed with him. He make me looks like an idiot.I hate him. I hate man!”

“There, there, so you hate me now?” I caressed her head.

“Of course no, because you’re my ototo,”

I relived because she didn’t hate me. But that last statement made my heart in pain.

I let go of her hug. “I think you’re crying,” I said as I saw her eyes.

“That guy doesn’t worth it, so, let’s go home,” she said. “And thank you for saving me,”

She’s walking ahead of me.  Her hair’s wet. And I could see drips of water falling to my jacket.

“By the way Ryosuke, whom are you giving that letter to?” she stopped and turned.

“ah, I just make it for a TV Show,”

“Souka, and put off my name okay? Although, you’re asking for my judgment that doesn’t mean you could use my name in it,”

“Hai, hai,”

That evening, with the red disperse of sun in the sky, we walked home together. Since that time, I told myself that being ototo is fine as long as I can be by her side. And I promise that I will protect her no matter what happened.

…

“I’ve buy your new, album,” she showed it to me. “and I’ve  watch your making,”

“No thanks,” I said before that waiter hand me the menu, “so…, what do you think?”

She smiled slyly, “You look good with Chinen,”

I tilted my head. It needs some time for me to process that statement, “I’m not gay oneechan,”

“Demo, I never see you with a girl before, don’t you have a girl you like?”

‘yes, I have and that girl is now right in front of me’ “No…,”

“Why?”

‘because I’m happy just being with you’ “Because we’re not allowed to,”

“souka, ah, let me know if you like someone ne~,” she winked

‘you are insensitive as always, baka oneechan!’

“by the way, I got part time job,”

“Do you want something by any chance?” I asked as I know her family is quite wealthy.

“No, it’s just…, I want to make my own money. That way I could be more mature,” she look away

“Souka,”

“and..,” she paused for a moment. “I think I will be more open to guys now,”