Hana Mizukawa POV

It’s been 4 years since he gave me that love letter. All of this time I am being cruel for forcing him stand by my side. I know from the very start that he loves me as a man. The way he look at me, the way he take care of me, the way he worries about me, and the way he protects me. I know . But I can’t admit it.

every time I called  him ototo, I know that he’s crestfallen. But I can’t do anything about it. I have to maintain this relationship as sister and brother relationship. That day when I said I’ll be more open to guys. I know that he’s hurting. But I think it’s time for me to let him go. To release him.

And this night, he’s free. He freed himself. I know he might hate me because of this. But this is the best. I don’t want to drag him further. I should’ve done this, years ago. But this stupid feeling inside my heart always wanting him to be by my side. Yeah all of this time, I’ve falling in love with him.

…

I put a glass on to hide my puffy eyes. since that night I’ve been thinking, why did she do that? Why didn’t she admit that I love her as a man?

“Yama-chan, what’s with that glasses?” Chinen asked as I arrived in the studio.

I just ignore him and go to dressing room. There I see oneechan talking with Kei-chan. She aware of my presence but she just bow her head slightly. not for long the director called Kei-chan leave and it’s just the two of us in this room. I look at oneechan who is picking costumes.’ Why don’t you say anything oneechan?’

“I’ll leave your costume here yamada-san,” she said and put that costume on the table.

“It’s just been a day and you’re now all clingy with kei-chan,” I said sarcastically.

She just looks at me then smile. “Well then, I’ll excuse myself,” she bowed her head and leave me in that room.

I kicked the table in front of me. I HATE YOU! Oneechan you’re the worst. Why did you smile like that? I grabbed my head. Knowing that I’m such a coward. Tried to hurt her because what she did to me. Why didn’t she hate me?

“Yamada-kun report to the set,”

After hearing that, I quickly wore the costume and ran to the stage. There were some staff that preparing a glass box in the middle of the stage.

“What is this?” I asked.

“Yamada-kun, you are to enter that box and do some ‘kakkoi’ pose,” explain the photographer.

So, as he told I enter that glass box. I have to enter it by its top.  The box is extremely narrow. It just fit one person in it. I start to feel uncomfortable.

“Okay Yamada-kun, start,”

I start to make some ‘kakoi’ pose to satisfy that photographer.

‘it’s okay’ I tried to comfort myself. ‘It won’t last long’.

And suddenly the lamp went off. I started to panic and calling out that photographer.‘it’s not good’.

“Calm down, Yamada-kun, the staff is tryi-,” before he finished his word, I heard a big explosion. And people start to panic. They are screaming and running for their life.

“Photographer-san,” I called but no respond, everybody seemed busy with their self. And I am scared. Nobody will notice me. I hit the glass, but it’s too thick. The darkness makes me more scared. I continue to hit the glass and call for help as I felt my body shaking.

“Move back, cover yourself,” command someone. I obey what that person said.

Then I heard a hard object hit the glass, pieces of glass was raining upon me. That person pulled me and hugs me. I can smell a familiar vanilla fragrance that always can make me feel at ease.

“It’s okay, I’m here,”  she said

“Oneechan….,”

“Let’s get out of here,” she grab my hand and run toward the exit.

When we arrived outside, there were many people there, the explosion was a huge chaos. There were ambulances and firefighters and police too. And JUMP? Ah, there they are, under the sakura tree. Their body were surrounded by black blanket. I think they all safe.

“I’ll leave him in your care,” oneechan handed me to the firefighter guy.

“And you miss?” asked the firefighter.

“I’m okay,”

“Oneechan, why did you come for me?” I asked. Bus she just ignore me.

“I’ll excuse myself then,” she bowed her head and walked away from me.

“Oneecha!” I just about to chase after her, but the firefighter prevent me. They insist to threat my wound first. I can’t refuse it. That time I see oneechan figure fading from my sight. She’s running away. To the long street.

///

I stare at that plain white ceiling. Even this place called home, that usually can ease my mind, can’t case away restlessness in my heart. Yes, I’m home now, Johnny-san sent everybody home. They were afraid if there were going to be second bomb attack that will hurt one of his asset.

But still, my mind is full of oneechan now. I can’t help but thinking of her. And I haven’t been able to contact her since that accident. There’s so many question in my head. Why did she come for me? Why did you save me oneechan? If you had not came for me that day, maybe I’ll be able to forget you. Buried that love, put it aside as memory of puberty. And I’ll be laughing at it someday in the future.

“Ryosuke, someone’s is here,” shout mom from the 1^st floor.

Lazily, I force by feet to bring my body downstairs. Who the hell came this day? It’s bad enough for me after that accident I have a lot of thing in my mind (oneechan of course).

“Who?” I asked my mom who is standing by the stair.

“It’s Mizukawa family. They’ve heard about your news, so they come to visit you,”

Mizukawa family? Does it mean oneechan too? I rush to the guest room.

“Isashiburi…,” said mr.mizukawa welcome me her-always-tantalizing-aura

“Isashiburi,” I bowed my head and sit on the closest chair.

“How are you feeling?” asked mrs. Mizukawa. “We rush here after watching the news,”

“I’m fine, thank you for your visiting, but Hana Oneechan wa?” I asked since I don’t see Hana oneechan with them.

 ”Ah, she is in UK now. Since 2 years ago,” said Mr. Mizukawa.

“Eh?”

“Yeah, she’s been studying there,” said Mrs. Mizukawa, “It’s pretty unbelievable but she manage to get a scholarship from a conglomerate,”

“Yes, its lucky ne?” my mom comes bringing a tray with cups of tea.

I tried to organize my mind. “Doesn’t she study in Meiji University?” I asked.

“No, after graduating from high school she directly went to UK,” answered mr. mizukawa.

I hold on to a table beside me as I feel losing my balance. ‘What is this mean?’

“Daijoubu desu ka?” my mom asked me.

I nodded. “Just need fresh air,” then I leave my house. Running my feet like crazy. There’s something wrong. If she’s not Hana oneechan I used to know. Then who is she?

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Minna... what do you think?

sorry for the randomness

and of course

spelling and grammar error

i hope you enjoy it