”Are you sleeping?”

The frail boy slowly turned his face toward me and looked up through the bangs that fell down in front of his eyes. He looked at me, even though I knew that he saw nothing.

“No,” he mumbled.

I pulled him closer to me, pulled the blanket higher up around his thin shoulders.

“I’m freezing.”

“Me too,” I whispered, though I knew that he had to freeze twice as much as me. At least I had some flesh on my body that could isolate against the cold night air, unlike the skinny boy I held around. I took his hand. His fingers were cold as ice, and I couldn’t say I was able to warm them further. The temperature was probably soon below zero.

When I mentioned it to him, he asked as innocently as always:

“Will it snow then?”

I smiled at his simple-mindedness, and brushed his bangs backwards, away from his big, brown eyes. Deep like wells, shining like the sun. Or like the full moon that shone above us, and made the trees cast ghost-like shadows on the asphalt. Shone through the branches of the tree we sat under, and let a silver-coloured beam of light hit my brother’s beautiful eyes.

“I don’t think so. The sky is cloudless. The stars are clear,” I answered. Yes, one was able to watch the stars clearly. As you looked up at them, they seemed to be so close that you, only by reaching out your hand, were able to pick them down. Maybe make a bouquet, a shining bouquet of stars as clear as innocent eyes. Which yet saw nothing…

“I’d wish I could see them.” Taemin’s voice was barely audible. The beautiful eyes were turned towards the sky; the stars were reflected in them. “I’d wish I could see the moon and the stars and the road and you.”

I had to concentrate to catch his words, and it gave a twinge in my heart. I let my frozen hand, the one that didn’t hold his, through my own, medium-short hair. When I looked down at my brother again, I realized for how long I’d forgot to cut his hair. The auburn wisps fell down around his shoulders and framed his face in a way that made his features look even more feminine than they already were.

The pretty, slender boy with the big, beautiful eyes and the long hair. The tall, strong boy with the short, black hair and dark eyes. Sometimes cold, sometimes burning warm. Mina had said it like that when she described us and refused that we could be brothers. Except for when we looked at each other, that was when the warmth came out. The fire.

Fire… warmth.

“I’m freezing,” Taemin repeated, and snuggled farther down underneath the blanket.

“Me too…”

“When do they come back and get us? I want to go home. Where there is light and warm, where I can see. I hate the dark.”

I didn’t answer. Had no answer.

If just someone would drive by. Someone who saw us. Picked us up, took us away from here. It didn’t matter where, just away. Away from the cold that slowly ate the last vitality we had left.

I let my head fall back and lean on the tree trunk and closed my eyes. It was no use to keep looking up and down the road in hope that the light from a car’s lamps would show up in the horizon. In the other direction were only the dark silhouettes of the town’s houses, but no light could be seen from behind curtains or from street lights. The only light coming from the empty streets was from a lonely telephone booth, and that was still so far away that the faint, white gleam didn’t make any difference here.

A sudden sound made me straighten with a jump.

“What is it?” My brother looked around with blind eyes. I noticed how even such a small effort corroded him.

“Just a dog,” I assured him. The lonely cur sneaked away from the city, towards the horizon.

“I miss Shy,” he mumbled. “I don’t understand why he ran away.”

“Me neither,” I lied, since I knew very well that Shy was lying on a dung hill, and probably ran around between the stars by now.

“Are we ever getting home? Why are we even here?” Taemin’s innocent tone and the way he slowly turned his head towards me made it sting in the corners of my eyes. In a warm, but very uncomfortable way, ‘cause I knew why it stung.

“I don’t know.” The same reason as to why Shy had to die. At least they hadn’t broken our heads with a shovel. But they had to get rid of us anyway.

I started to his bangs over his burning forehead that was in such a contrast to the now bluish-purple lips. Let my finger run down the straight, yet slightly crooked nose.

A cold breeze pierced through the ragged blanket and went through our bones, and I felt how panic suddenly grabbed me.

Should I loose him?

The tiny hope of a miraculous rescue, which I had held onto until now, started to fall to pieces in front of me.

Should the light be turned off in those beautiful eyes?

Should his fingers never again dance across the piano keys?

Should I never again cut the soft, long hair?

Unconsciously, I laid my arms around Taemin and squeezed him closer to me. He mumbled some words I nearly didn’t manage to hear.

“It’s not your fault,” I said, “How could it be your fault?”

“You could’ve walked… to the town, or home…”

“I don’t even know in what direction home is.”

“Or to the bus stop… if it hadn’t been for me.” His voice shook worse than ever.

“If it hadn’t been for you, I wouldn’t have wanted to go anywhere. There would be nothing to walk for, nothing to live for.”

He didn’t answer, but through the dark I caught the hint of a smile on his lips.

Right at that moment, I got blinded by a stream of light. I gazed upon the horizon, from where a car came closer, and stumbled onto my feet. My legs were numb after sitting still for so long in the cold.

I carefully placed Taemin’s head on the trunk, and then started to jump up and down and wave my hands and arms towards the oncoming driver. Was he able to see me?

I started to yell, put all of my last power into jumping and dancing and acting like I was crazy to get his attention. But in vain.

With a roar the car rushed by, without even slowing down.

I felt the last hope leave me as I walked back to my brother. Not even the extra flesh on my body could keep the piercing cold out now. I supported my brother and made him sit up, so I could crawl back under the blanket behind him and hug him, as I whispered:

“Now we’ll soon see the stars.”

And once again I saw a light in the distance.