Yunho sits down.

"How long do you think we can keep this up?" Smoke wafts around Jaejoong. He offers his pack to the newcomer. 

Yunho shakes his head and declines, "What do you mean?"

"This."

"The group?"

"No." Jaejoong doesn't look at him but continues talking, "I mean.... Them having their way with us."

He smiles crookedly, "You make it sound like or something."

"It feels like that. Sometimes." 

Yunho sighs. 

"I know you want order. And stability..." 

Jae turns to him, "Am I being selfish for yearning for something else?"

"You know what my answer to that is." 

...........

Jaejoong throws his cigarette to the ground... and crushes the burning embers with the heel of his boot. "I don't know whether to admire you... or to hate you right now." 

"I don't take sides Joongie."

........

"I don't want Min to hate me.." 

And I don't want to be away from you.

Silence. 

The two look up at the night sky. 

"Do what you think is best... I'll deal with them."

"And Changmin?"

"He'll be ok... We'll be ok... It'll take Min a bit of time to accept this," Yunho looks at Jaejoong, concerned. "This will not be pretty."

"Yeah..... "

"You three should think things over. There are risks involved....... They will not make it easy~~"

"I know... We know."

"And the fans...."

Now it's Jaejoong's turn to sigh. "Isn't there any other way around... this?" 

"From the looks of it... No."

"Will they understand?" 

"I don't think everyone would. But then again, they can surprise us." 

"Red Ocean~~" They sing together, smiling.

Yunho stares at the sky again... and continued.

"I'm happy we got this far. I can't say that it was a perfect... but we did it together as 5."

Jaejoong bites the bottom of his lip. He looks down. He knows Yunho is looking at him. 

.......

"We're entertainers, Jae. We don't own ourselves." 

"But what else is there to give if we cannot be ourselves?"

Yunho struggles for a bit... Say something Jung Yunho! Say something before he goes...

He opens his mouth to say something.. but nothing comes out. Coward.

He takes a deep breath instead, and reaches out for Jae's hand and squeezes it tight. 

Yunho leans forward and plants a kiss on Jae's forehead, and only manages to say:

"I can't~"

...........

Jae gently pushes his hand away, stands up and walks away. 

Yunho fought the urge to call out Jaejoong's name. 

He looks out to the Seoul skyline... tears welling up. 

He doesn't follow.


+++ +++ +++ +++ +++ 

2008. Mirotic Era.

Yunho yawns and opens his eyes. He streches out his arms and hits something. 

"Ow." 

A warm, sleepy lump protests with a grumble. 

Snippets of last night's dream - yes, dream - start to flood in...

He sits up quickly and pulls back the covers. 

A cute slash slightly irritable Jaejoong hides his face in one of the pillows. "Turn off the lights Yunnie. And hug me. It's cold."

Yunho sighs in relief. 

You're here... "It's morning already, sleepy-head." 

He then hears a mumble. Something about skipping practice. 

Yunho frowns for a second. If they don't move, they will be late. Not good. 

In an attempt to wake Jaejoong, he pulls the pillow from under him. 

More mumbling ensues. But that's about it. 

A minute or so later, Yunho manages to push all the pillows and the blanket out of Jae's way... 

He chuckles as Jae groans and rolls from side to side, trying to find a pillow to cling onto.

Out of sheer impulse, Yunho touches the tip of his partner's nose with a finger. 

Jae swats his hand away with a smile... eyes still closed. "Stop it Yunnie.."

Still beautiful..

Yunho feels his resolve melt. He gives up and lays down... To hell with rehearsals..

Jae immediately wriggles to his side, burrows his face on Yunho's chest and proceeds to wrap an arm around him.

He grins and buries his nose into Jae's hair. 

His lover smells of strawberries and sunshine. 

Yunho puts an arm around Jae, closes his eyes... and lets the warmth between them lull him to sleep.


Never letting go...


+++ +++ +++ +++ +++