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“I hear the salmon’s really good here,” Sungmin murmured, his voice blending in with the low hum of the restaurant.

“What do you think, Mary Sue?” Sunny asked.

“Key…” you muttered distractedly.

“What?”

You tore your eyes away from the entrance to face the three confused pairs of eyes trained on you. “Key…lime pie,” you said, thinking quickly. “For dessert. What do you think?”

Sungmin and Sunny shrugged. “I guess…”

“Wow, you really plan ahead, huh Mary Sue?”

You smiled nervously as they returned to scrutinizing the menu. Chanyeol leaned in beside you, regarding you with concerned eyes. “Are you okay, Mary Sue?”

You nodded quickly. “Yeah. Of course.” And threw in another smile for good measure.

He unsurely went back to the menu, while you focused back on the door. Why wasn’t Key here yet?

Krystal was sitting alone at a small table near the back of the small restaurant. Amber and Jonghyun were both already present at their table on the opposite side. To your relief, they were already engaged in genial conversation. You could see them from your strategic position at the table in the middle of the restaurant, where you sat under the pretense of being on a double date with Chanyeol, Sungmin and Sunny. The plan was foolproof.

Except Key hadn’t shown up yet.

“Okay, so,” Amber said, hesitating in order to organize her thoughts. “So your parents think you’re a transvestite”—she held back a laugh and Jonghyun tried not to look too dejected—“Key wants you to tell your parents the truth, but you are afraid to do that because you think your parents will hate you, but at the same time you’re afraid of doing nothing because Key will hate you… Sounds like a lose-lose situation to me, Jjong.”

Jonghyun sighed, this time not even hiding his expression. “Is that all you can say?” He buried his face in his arms.

She sighed in response. “So here’s what I think.” Amber ignored the depressed noises her “blind date” was making. “I think you need to have a little more faith in people. Your parents aren’t going to stop loving you, because they’re your parents. And as for Key, well you must be special if he’s sticking by you, even though you’re not doing what he wants right now. If he didn’t care about you, he would have ditched you a long time ago, because he’s just like that.”

Jonghyun lifted his head to look at Amber. “What if you’re wrong?” he asked pitifully. “What if I tell my parents, and then they disown me or something.” His face fell back onto the table. “I was hoping I could at least get Mary Sue’s support,” he muttered into the fancy tablecloth. “But she has no idea.”

“Have you told her?”

“I tried to…” He looked up at Amber with his chin resting on his folded arms. “It didn’t really work out.”

Amber laughed. “Well, you know Mary Sue. You have to whack her across the head with a piece of information if you want her to understand, and even then you can’t be sure.”

Jonghyun couldn’t help the chuckle that broke through his lips.

Key strutted somewhat defiantly into the fancy restaurant, still kind of wanting to just blow the whole thing off, but he didn’t want to leave his “date” hanging, and he also figured Jonghyun would be there with Amber because Mary Sue wasn’t very good at planning. He ran a hand through his well-styled hair and, spotting Krystal sitting alone at one end of the one-roomed restaurant, walked brusquely over there, ignoring Mary Sue conspicuously hiding behind her menu as he passed her table.

“Hi,” he huffed as he sat down.

Krystal looked at him, a somewhat frightened look on her face. “Hi,” she said in return.

“Well,” he said, taking a sip of water. “This is awkward.”

“Yeah,” she agreed with a grimace.

Key looked at her over his stemmed glass, as if he was considering her for something, before taking in a quick breath. “Okay, here’s the deal.” He set down his glass. “We both know what’s going on here. This”—he gestured to the two of them with a spinning motion of his hand—“isn’t going to go anywhere, because we both already have somebody, and the only reason why we’re here right now is because Mary Sue can’t seem to comprehend homouality.”

Krystal stared at Key with wide-eyes.

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to try, fruitlessly no doubt, to talk some sense into Miss Matchmaker over there.”

Krystal nodded as Key stood up from their table. “Okay.”

“Well well well.”

Crap.

You slowly lowered the menu you were holding in front of your face. You thought maybe you could pass it off as indecision, but when Key stood beside your table and made himself heard, you knew you couldn’t hide from him any longer.

“Fancy running into you here, Mary Sue,” he said pointedly.

“Yeah,” you agreed. “What a coincidence.” Then you put on your most charming smile.

Key rolled his eyes. “Cut the charade, Cupid. You know this whole plan of yours isn’t going to work, right?”

“Heh.” You glanced around to the confused expressions of the rest of your party. Maybe you should have clued them into what was going on tonight. “What plan?”

“Oh, don’t play innocent with me,” he snapped. “Do you know what your problem is, Mary Sue?”

You just blinked at him as he continued, paying the others no attention.

“You don’t listen to people. You just go off on your own ideas and fantasies with no care about how others are affected. Do I even need to remind you about how many lives you could have ruined with that stunt you pulled during the vampire apocalypse?”

Sunny and Sungmin were both genuinely lost at this point, and you flushed beneath their questioning stares. You couldn’t fathom what Chanyeol was thinking at that moment.

“And now with this whole Valentine’s Day plot of yours, you’re actually messing with people’s personal lives when we all told you to stop because we’re not interested. Do us all a favor, Mary Sue. Please get a clue.”

Then it dawned on you. “Oh, I get it!”

“Do you?” Key countered, disbelieving. “Do you really? Because last time you said you got it, you drew a shipping chart in the most inept fashion.”

“No, I get it, Key, I really do!” If you knew anything about Key, you knew that he liked being right, and it was clear to you that the only reason he was making a scene out of this blind date plan of yours was because he didn’t want to admit you were right. “I understand, and there’s no indignity in admitting you’re wrong.”

He looked pleasantly surprised. “Really?” Then he returned to his normal expression. “Let’s hear it then.”

You grinned. “If you really do like Krystal this much, then you need to go back and make this date an awesome one instead of trying to cover up your feelings by making a big deal out of the fact that it was my idea. Go ahead and date her without feeling like you have to hide it. I promise I won’t say ‘I told you so’ and I’ll never pry into your personal life if you want to keep it more private.”

Your deduction must have been dead on, because he stood there with a frozen expression that was completely unreadable. Before anyone could say anything more, however, you heard a loud voice coming from the other side of the room.

“Hey look, it’s Key!” Amber was waving from her and Jonghyun’s table. “Wow, what a coincidence. Are you here with Krystal? I’m here with Jonghyun!” She gestured broadly to her date. “Hey, we should make this a double date and join our tables!”

No! They shouldn’t do that!

“Guess who else is here?” Key responded, just as loudly. “Mary Sue!”

Amber gasped dramatically. “Mary Sue too? What a small world we live in!”

“Microscopic!” Key agreed jovially. “We should all join our tables! What do you think, Mary Sue?” he asked, turning to you. You had begun to sink down in your chair. “Should we join our tables together?”

“I think that’s a great idea!” Sunny chimed in happily. “I can’t believe we ran into you guys here!”

“Surely it’s fate,” Key replied as the others began dragging their tables over.

When everyone was united, you looked around. It was a horribly familiar set up.

“Wow, it’s just like lunch!” Sunny exclaimed.

You resisted the urge to slam your face down on the table.

Just then something caught your eye from a semi-hidden table in the corner of the restaurant. You realized it was Nichkhun gesturing for you to come over. Oh good, at least he was there to help you. Just maybe you could fix this mess of a double date/double blind date, and love would finally prevail!

“Excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom,” you said suddenly, and ignored everyone’s stares as you got up from the table and quickly made your way to the shady table in the corner.

Chanyeol stared dumbfounded at the table in the corner. Had he just seen what he thought he saw?

“Uh… are you guys seeing this, or am I just hallucinating?” he asked the other table occupants.

“No,” Sungmin answered. “That’s really Mary Sue sitting alone at a table with Nichkhun.”

Chanyeol felt a little dazed. “Nichkhun?”

“He’s like the Don Juan of our school,” Krystal explained. “He’s really romantic, and girls are always fawning over him.”

Now he felt a little nauseous. “Oh.”

“Oh, but don’t worry Chanyeol.” She placed her hands comfortingly on his forearm, but he could barely feel it. “I’m sure she just stopped by to say hi on her way to the bathroom,” she assured.

Chanyeol nodded and tried to smile. Of course she was only saying hi. It’s not like she was on a date with Nichkhun at the same time, right? Right.

It sure was taking them a long time to say hi though.

“Everything’s a mess!” you wailed at Nichkhun. “My plan is failing, and none of them are cooperating. Why can’t they all just allow themselves to find happiness and let love in?!”

“Calm down, Mary Sue, it’s okay,” Nichkhun assured you, trying to keep his voice low. “I have a plan.”

You sniffed and looked up at him hopefully. “You do?”

The confident smirk on his face was enough of an answer. “You just need to get them away from each other.”

“How do I do that?” you asked.

He pulled something from inside his jacket and handed it to you. You looked down at it. It was a coupon for two free pairs of rental skates at the skating rink.

“Give that to one couple,” Nichkhun explained.

“But then the other two will just go with—”

“So distract the other two. Get them to leave the room somehow first, and then send the others off to the skating rink.”

Wow, Nichkhun really planned this out, didn’t he?

“Okay,” you said. “How do I do that?”

He seemed thoughtful for a moment, and then his eyes alit upon a passing waiter carrying a tray of drinks. He looked at you with a mischievous glint in his eye. You wondered what he could possibly be thinking.

This date wasn’t going the way Chanyeol had imagined it would. Mary Sue, his date and the love of his life, was at another table with this Nichkhun guy, and they were talking and smiling at each other, and he gave her something, and he was smirking, and Chanyeol was sure this guy was way more romantic and dreamy and handsome and everything than Chanyeol could ever live up to.

He continued to stare solemnly at her back, oblivious to the glances of sympathy coming from everyone else at the table.

“Chanyeol,” Key addressed him. “You really deserve so much better than Mary Sue.”

But Chanyeol didn’t want someone better than Mary Sue, he wanted Mary Sue. He sighed dejectedly and tried to stop his lower lip from trembling.

“Chanyeol?” said a voice behind him, and he was slightly surprised to see Baekhyun entering the small restaurant and waltzing to their table with a twinkling grin. “Wow, what are the chances I’d run into you here,” he laughed, helping himself to the empty seat beside Chanyeol.

“What do you mean,” Chanyeol muttered. “You knew I’d be here.”

Baekhyun’s expression morphed perfectly into practiced ignorance. “Mmm, no I don’t believe I did.”

“I told you about the double date tonight, you—“

Baekhyun cut him off with a nervous laugh. “I think you must be mistaken, Chanyeol.” He turned to the person sitting across the table with his most charming smile. “By the way, when I saw you sitting here as well, my heart leapt a little bit I think. Just the sight of you makes this day that much brighter.” Baekhyun took hold of a bashful Sunny’s hand, ignoring the sulking Chanyeol and glaring Sungmin. “You just have this certain quality to you.” His eyes met the ceiling in a thoughtful expression for a moment. “Like a sparkle. No! A twinkle.” Chanyeol rolled his eyes as Sunny giggled, clearly flattered. Baekhyun’s eyes lit up as they fixed on her again. “It lights up everything around you,” he said.

Chanyeol’s and Sungmin’s respective sigh and grunt of immense disapproval did nothing to faze Baekhyun, whose only response was to glance around the restaurant as Sunny took advantage of his shifted attention to shyly withdraw her hand from his grasp.

“Where’s Mary Sue?”

Chanyeol buried his face in his arms. He barely heard Baekhyun’s soft “oh” and figured someone had pointed out the situation.

“Chanyeol?”

He really didn’t want to see Baekhyun’s overly concerned face, but he couldn’t keep himself from looking up when he heard the careful murmur of his name. His best friend’s worried eyes only made whatever this gnawing feeling was in his gut feel worse. Maybe Chanyeol was just a masochist.

In the same way, he couldn’t help but look up when Baekhyun’s attention was visibly stolen. Mary Sue had left Nichkhun’s table and was returning, and Chanyeol couldn’t help but notice that she had never gone to the bathroom. Still, he was hopeful that maybe she was just catching up with a friend and was now returning to her date. But then she did something that left everyone dumbfounded.

She pushed a passing waiter so his tray of drinks toppled and spilled all over Jonghyun and Amber. There were a lot of loud voices in the confusion as the two victims jumped out of their chairs and people started yelling. “What the hell?” “Mary Sue!” and “How could you be so clumsy? Do your job right!” echoed throughout the restaurant.

As Mary Sue ushered the waiter, Amber and Jonghyun away from the table, Chanyeol could do nothing more than sit there, utterly confused and mouth hanging open as he tried to fathom what the hell was going on with Mary Sue.

This night was turning out to be pretty weird. And a little awkward too. Sure Jonghyun had been inside a women’s bathroom before, but right now he was trying to avoid all the judgmental looks he was receiving from women while Amber focused on just trying her best to get out wine stains from their clothes with paper towels and soap.

“Well,” she sighed once they were the only two in the bathroom. “This is familiar.”

Jonghyun let out a humorless chuckle. “Yeah, well,” he muttered. “At least this time I’m not wearing a dress.”

Now that Amber and Jonghyun were out of the way, you could focus your attention on the Krykey couple. You knew Key was stubborn, but you’ll be damned if they don’t have the most romantic first date ever and fall in love and become that happy couple that you were sure they were destined to be! You had to be clever about this.

“So…” you began. “Raise your hand if your name begins with a ‘K’!”

Everybody stared at you with confused looks, but you just stared pointedly at Key and Krystal. Krystal timidly raised her hand. Key just raised his eyebrows at you, but you took that as an answer anyway.

“Congratulations!” you shouted. “You’ve won the raffle!” You shoved the coupon in front of them.

“Uh…” Key trailed, staring at it.

“Don’t just sit there,” you urged. “Go out and have fun you two!”

“Mary Sue,” Key protested. “This is stupid.”

You didn’t listen to him, just pulled him out of his chair. Krystal awkwardly followed as you ushered them both out of the restaurant and into the chilly air outside.

“But we haven’t even ordered yet!” was the last thing you heard Key yell before you shut the door and scurried back to your table.

You sat back down to silence and looked around. Now it was like you were just on your double date, the way it was supposed to be. Except for the presence of an extra person.

“When did Baekhyun get here?” you asked. The man in question gave you a sweet smile and a little finger wave.

“A while ago,” Chanyeol muttered beside you. He leaned in to talk to you quietly. “Mary Sue, is there something—“

“Hey, where did Key and Krystal go?”

You looked up to see Amber and Jonghyun had returned.

“Oh, they went ice skating together,” you answered cheerily. “You know, like a happy couple on their first date might do if they were totally into each other and going to live happily ever after.”

“That sounds like fun!” Amber said enthusiastically. “Do you want to go ice skating, Jonghyun? I think we should go ice skating.”

“NO!”

Everyone turned to stare at you. You faltered a little bit.
 

“I-I mean, why?”

Amber sighed. “I thought we might have a good time ice skating,” she answered. “Like a happy couple who are totally into each other and going to live happily ever after.”

“B-but,” you stammered. “The others are… and I mean… you—“

“Ice skating sounds like a total blast!” Sunny interjected.

“I agree!” Baekhyun jumped in. With a glance to Sunny (and a subtle challenging smirk in Sungmin’s direction), he said, “Why don’t we all go?”

You felt like they had all ganged up on you.

“What?!”