So Morgan and I have a newly conceived dream for this fic. If someone made a derpy animated series where the characters' heads are pasted on Exotic gif style and their mouths move and their bodies would be cut and pasted as well with different clothes and stuff and like Jonghyun would have a man body in dresses half the time and everyone would speak in Korean soundbites from interviews and stuff with subtitles over them so anyone watching who actually speaks Korean would be like "what the actual " but everyone else would be like "LOL" except for Mary Sue who would speak English and omg what if Jonghyun only spoke in singing and it would have every dramatic cheesy soundtrack song from every cheesy drama you can think of and it would be glorious derpy and glorious. Get on it world. If we get enough people working together on this, we can make it happen. We need people to gather pieces together so like headshots from various angles with various expressions and body pieces with poses and outfits and backgrounds and scenery. Someone to animate, someone to find soundbites to use, I can totally do the sound design if I have video to put it over. Guise you know this would be the best thing that ever existed in the history of derp fandom. Let's make it happen.

When all eight people were gathered at your usual lunch table, you looked around. You noticed something about the people sitting here. Something to do with…couples.

There were a total of two couples that sat at this table: you and Chanyeol, and Sunny and Sungmin. Two happy couples, while the other four people were lonely and single. Two remaining boys and two remaining girls, who all deserved to feel the love of companionship! After all, Valentine’s Day was approaching, and you could feel your matchmaking skills just itching to be put to use.

You cleared your throat to command their attention. “Have any of you guys ever thought about dating?” you asked.

You were met with some exchanged glances, a blinking blank stare, and general confusion.

“What do you mean?” Krystal asked.

“Well I was just thinking that Valentine’s Day is coming up, and I noticed you all don’t have boyfriends or girlfriends—“

“Ha!” Key let out a bark of a laugh. “Don’t be so quick to assume, Mary Sue.”

“You have a girlfriend, Key?” you said interestedly.

He put his face in his hand. “No, Mary Sue,” he muttered, massaging the bridge of his nose. “Just…Stop trying to involve yourself in our personal lives, okay?”

It was silent for a few moments.

“But everyone should have a date for Valentine’s Day,” you pressed.

“Mary Sue!” Key barked, while Amber started to laugh. “Don’t you dare try to set us up. Because I know that’s where you’re going with this, so let me just stop you before you start.”

“I know, I know,” you said, waving your hands at him.

“Do you?” He seemed like he didn’t believe you.

“Of course I do,” you said. “I remember when you told me that you and Amber didn’t date because you weren’t each other’s type.”

“Oh,” he said and leaned back in his chair. “Good.”

“That’s why it would work like this,” you said, ignoring Chanyeol’s low mutters of “Mary Sue, I don’t think…” and drawing up a quick diagram to hold up for them. “See?”

Key smacked a hand to his forehead and groaned. Jonghyun sunk in his chair a little bit, while Amber burst out into laughter again. Krystal just looked perplexed by all of this.

“Mary Sue,” Sunny gasped. “Your drawing is so cute!”

“Thank you!” you answered pointedly, glaring at Key. At least someone understood!

“No,” Key said flatly. “Absolutely not.”

“Why not?” you protested. “At least give it some thought. Valentine’s Day!”

Amber chuckled. “Give it a rest, Mary Sue.”

You sighed and put the drawing away, pouting.

Then Chanyeol showed you his own drawing, which made you smile again.

You were grumbling all the way to your locker, muttering things like, “Cute couple,” and “Valentine’s Day,” and “Happiness.”

“What’s this about Valentine’s Day?” you heard behind you. Nichkhun stepped up beside you and greeted you with a wink.

“Oh,” you said as you continued together down the hall. “It’s just that…” You bit your lip, deciding whether or not to even say anything, because why would he care about your friends’ love lives? But then you realized it was Nichkhun, and he was totally into people’s love lives. “I’m trying to set up Krystal and Key and Jonghyun and Amber, so that they will find love with each other and be happy on Valentine’s Day instead of lonely and disparate and alone! Forever!” you said all in one breath.

Nichkhun blinked a few times while he tried to process the words that were just splattered all over his front. And then he chuckled. “I might be able to help with that,” he said, to your surprise.

“What? Really?”

He nodded. “If you’ll help me with my own… Valentine.”

You suddenly got all excited. “You want my help?” He nodded and you beamed. Another chance to help two wandering souls find love! “I’ll do it!”

“Excellent.” He put an arm around your shoulder and brought you closer, as if to tell you a secret. “Now what you want to do is this: don’t tell them you’re setting them up with each other. Instead, send them all on blind dates.”

You gasped. “Blind dates?”

He nodded, and your smile grew wide. It was brilliant!

“That’s brilliant!” you said. “Thanks Nichkhun!”

“Anytime.” Then he released you from his arm and turned a corner, leaving you to continue the walk to your locker.

Your locker held a very disturbing surprise, though, stopping you in your tracks when you saw it.

Scrawled across the front of it in large dripping red letters were the words:

“READ
EVERY
NOTE”

You looked around. Students were staring at you and whispering about you, but when you glanced in their direction they quickly looked away, as if they didn’t want to associate themselves with you.

Clearly, whoever was sending these messages knew that you hadn’t read the last one.

You sighed shakily, pretending you weren’t completely freaked out as you opened your locker to get the books you needed for chemistry.

Okay, you decided, giving in to the situation. You would go back and read that note tonight. The sooner you could figure out who was doing all of this, the sooner you could resolve the conflict and move on with your life.

Moonlight spilled out over the snowy garden, giving it a surreal glow, and Jonghyun wondered why he didn’t come out here more often. The garden was beautiful, even in winter. He sighed—for probably the fiftieth time that day—and leaned against the stone fountain that was in the center of the garden. He gazed up at the moon. It was so different from everything else in the sky, so separate.

He wished he could find it in himself to talk to his parents, to finally come out to them like Key said he should, but he just couldn’t. What if they didn’t accept him? He thought maybe if he got Mary Sue on his side, then maybe he could tell his parents, and if they decided they didn’t love him any more after that, then at least Mary Sue would.

But she didn’t even understand. Not even Mary Sue, his own identical twin sister, seemed to understand him. He sighed again and lowered his gaze to the ground.

Something caught his attention. A small glowing object, resembling the moon in the sky, and he realized it was a silver coin. He picked it up and smiled a little bit, clutching it to his chest for a moment before sending a hopeful toss into the fountain behind him.

Clink.

Jonghyun turned around only to see that the coin was merely met with ice. He exhaled, his breath fogging before him, stuffed his hands in his pockets and headed toward the house. He supposed it was hopeless after all.

When you got home promptly at ten from your date with Chanyeol, you huffed and steeled yourself to face the task you knew you had to accomplish. You trudged up to your bedroom to find that note that you had gotten the night before. It was still in your drawer where you had stashed it away.

You slowly took it out, holding it tentatively in your hands as if it were a bomb that might explode if you handled it too roughly, and opened it, pulling out the folded paper inside.

This note was written in charcoal, heavy-handed thick and black against the paper and smearing and smudging where it had come into contact with the folds.

“Ready to find out why
Escape is impossible
Now that you’ve been targeted?”

You sighed. That didn’t sound friendly at all. Escape is impossible? You’ve been targeted? What did it all mean?

The only hope you had was for the hint of information the note implied. It seemed like everything would reveal itself soon, that whoever was sending these messages was going to come forward and explain things to you face to face, and that prospect, however intimidating, was at least a step toward solving whatever problems you had with them.

Or maybe they would just send you another note.

You were tired. You needed to sleep.

But as you lay there in your bed that night with the moon shining through your window, you found you couldn’t sleep at all.

“I have an idea,” you announced at lunch the next day in the middle of an already established conversation.

“Well if it’s about your affinity for eating phallic things, keep it to yourself,” Key responded.

“What?” You shook your head. “No, not about the petition for the new lunch menu.”

“Okay, then what?” Amber asked.

“What if I set you all up on blind dates?”

Key sighed dramatically. “Mary Sue, we talked about this—“

“I know, but Key, please!”

“Stop trying to set us up with each other, Mary Sue, it’s not gonna work.”

“Shh!” You put your finger to your lips to shush Key. “Key, it’s a blind date! You don’t know who I’m setting you up with.”

He blinked at you and Amber immediately erupted into a fit of laughter.

“Regardless of how discreet you think you’re being,” he grit out, “none of us are interested in your romantic machinations.”

“But Key!” you whined. “Valentine’s Day!”

“Yeah, Key,” Amber joined, still laughing. “Valentine’s Day!”

You smiled at the support. One less person to try to convince!

“For the last time, Mary Sue, no!”

And that was the end of the conversation.

You trudged toward Nichkhun’s locker in a cloud of failure.

“It didn’t work,” you whined at his back.

He finished getting his books out and then turned to face you, shutting his locker by coolly leaning against it. “What didn’t work?”

“The blind date thing. I suggested it at lunch, but they all turned me down.” You pouted at the ground.

Nichkhun chuckled at you and ruffled your hair. “Then ask them in a way so they can’t say no to you.”

“How am I supposed to do that?”

“Corner them? Get each of them alone and make sure you don’t let them go until they agree to go on the blind date.” He grinned lopsidedly at you, and your face came to mirror his.

“Will that work?” you asked.

He chuckled. “Don’t worry, Mary Sue. If anybody can get people to agree to something they don’t want to do, it’s definitely you.”

You beamed at that. You were pretty sure that was a compliment. “Thanks, Nichkhun!” Feeling suddenly motivated, you set off to do just that.

You found Jonghyun first, standing with Key by Key’s locker. He took a step back when he saw you approaching, and Key just muttered something to him and walked away. Oh well. You would get to him later.

“Jonghyun, I know you want a girlfriend for Valentine’s Day,” you prefaced.

He gave a wavering smile. “Uh…yeah, I … guess.”

“Well I know,” you assured. “Because if I know my brother, he’s totally caught up in the pursuit of godly high school popularity and having girls practically falling down at his feet.”

Jonghyun laughed uneasily. “Those days are behind me, Mary Sue,” he said. “I’ve changed a lot this year, and I’ve learned a lot about myself during…all that we’ve been through,” he said, glancing around.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I’m not that Jonghyun anymore. In…more ways than one.” He faltered, clearing his throat nervously. “More than just…not caring anymore about godly high school popularity.” His eyes met yours in a wide, vulnerable stare. “Please tell me you understand.”

You smiled and put a hand to your heart. “Of course I understand, and thank you so much for telling me,” you said.

“Really?” he said hopefully.

“Yes. You just want to lay low. Make real relationships instead of shallow, fake ones to please people around you.”

Jonghyun sighed. “Exactly.”

“Well, fear no more, because I am the best matchmaker, and you will have your real relationship by this coming Valentine’s Day.”

His smile fell. “No, Mary Sue, I—“

“Sh!” You held up your finger to his face. “The blind date will work. I promise.” You took out a folded piece of paper and handed it to him. “This is the information. Show up at this place at this time under this reservation. The rest…” You let your hands fall slowly as you pictured sparkles and little hearts falling from the sky. “…will magically fall into place. With the power of love!”

You left him standing dumbfounded.

“Krystal!”

She jumped and turned around. “Oh, hi Mary Sue!”

You rocked back and forth on your heels. “So, how is the singing career going?”

She laughed. “Well it’s only been a day, so…”

You raised your eyebrows once and nodded. Okay, enough small talk. You pulled out the paper with the specified time and location for the blind date. “You’ll be here for the blind date, right?”

“I—what?” She stared confusedly at the slip of paper you handed her.

“Great!” you said, grinning. “You’ll thank me for this, I promise.” Then you walked away to complete your mission.

When you told Amber about the plans, she just laughed. You laughed with her. She seemed to be laughing a lot lately whenever you brought up your plans to set them up for Valentine’s Day. You wondered if she had liked Jonghyun all along…

“This is the time and place, and you’ll be under this reservation, okay?”

“Whatever you say, Mary Sue,” she said humorously, waving the paper at you to shoo you off.

“Okay!” You turned back once to mutter to her, “Thank you so much for being on board with this, Amber. It seems like you’re the only one. I wish the others wouldn’t be so difficult about all of this.”

Amber snickered. “Well don’t let their insistence to exercise free will deter you from your dream to be a matchmaker,” she responded.

You nodded. “Yeah!” And left her, confidence renewed by her words of encouragement.

“Okay,” you began when you had finally cornered Key in the drama hallway. “I know you’re like Keybeneezer Scrooge when it comes to love and happiness, but these are the plans for the blind date and you are going whether you like it or not.”

“I’m not doing the stupid date, Mary Sue,” he said bitterly, handing the paper back to you.

“Why not? Everyone else is going!”

“Did you talk to them already?” he questioned, an eyebrow raised.

“Yeah! Krystal’s going, Amber’s totally on board—“

“What did Jonghyun tell you earlier?”

“Jonghyun’s going on the blind date!” you announced triumphantly.

“What?!”