Distance



The image of his hyung was easily seen through the screen and Jongin's heart was bursting with happiness.

"I miss you so much."

The distance was killing them slowly. There was never a day Jongin doesn't think of Luhan and a day where Luhan doesn't think of Jongin.

Sighing tiredly, he runs a hand through his messy dark hair causing Luhan to smile fondly, his eyes tired but smile bright.

"I wish I can be there to tame your hair. I miss how it feels like against my fingers Jongin... miss the smell of your skin against my nose."

Groaning, Jongin makes a face.

"Don't. It doesn't make it easier on the both of us, hyung."

"I miss... everything. I miss you. Don't even get me started on how deprived I am."

Jongin could tell. Luhan's eyes didn't hold their usual sparkle, his smile a little tighter, the bags under his eyes more pronounced. He didn't think the distance could be this painful.

"Luhan hyung..."

"...yeah I meant it that way too Jongin. I miss having you inside me, the scent of your sweaty tanned skin, the deep heavy groans you make against my ears..."

Jongin momentarily closes his eyes at the words.

"I miss the sound of your voice when we make love, the way your hips move deep within me, the hardness of your chest... the beat of your heart."

"Hyung. Just. Don't."

Luhan sighs.

"I just. I miss having you near me... my world isn't complete without you beside me. Okay, it's getting late and Wufan will kill me if he knew I was still up."

Jongin nods and touches the image of his hyung on the computer screen, wishing he could touch him right then. He missed the feel of that soft skin against his fingers.

Luhan smiles sadly.

"Goodnight. I'll call you in the morning okay? Jongin-ah, I love you."

"I love you too. Sleep well."

With one last smile, Luhan disconnects, leaving Jongin with just the trace of that smile and those pretty but tired eyes.

He missed him already.



Phone Fights


They fought over the phone.

The long distance didn't help. Not to mention their tight schedules but there was never a second that Jongin wasn't on his mind. There were days when Luhan's heart was near to breaking but he loved Jongin so damn much he didn't know what to do with himself. 

Closing his eyes, he holds the phone tighter against his ear, his heart breaking from the silence on the other end.

The heated words from earlier seared his brain:

"Do you really even know what you want... hyung what do you really want?"
"I want you."
"Yeah? Then maybe it's time you show it."
"Jongin-don't do this. Please."
"Is it selfish of me really? You're my ing boyfriend. You belong with me. I don't care if that makes me a possessive jealous bastard."
"Jongin."
"Don't even bother."

The tears started to roll down his cheeks easily and Luhan hated it. He hated to show weakness in anything but Jongin has always been the exception.

"Jongin-ah...."

Jongin on the other end could tell that Luhan was crying. He can usually tell because his soft voice gets huskier and his accent becomes more prominent.

If there was one thing he hated the most, it was when Luhan cried. He closes his eyes, his fists balled against the fabric of his jeans.

"Don't cry."

The sniffling on the other end was more pronounced now and Jongin hated himself for being the cause of it.

"Hyung. Please."

"I-I'm hanging up."

"Wait. Hyung. I'm sorry. Don't cry. Please."

Luhan wipes his tears with the hem of his sleeve.

"Luhan-hyung..."

Clearing his throat, his eyes swollen, Luhan swallows the lump in his throat.

"I have to go."

"Wait-"

"Jongin. Goodnight."





Jongin couldn't sleep that night. He hated it when they fought, hated it even more when he was the cause of it.

Opening his phone, he stares at the bright screen, and types a quick text:

I'm sorry. I love you. Please don't go to bed angry. Take care okay? Eat well. You were sick last week and I don't want you to get sick again cause it worries me. I'm sorry I'm such a bad boyfriend but that's just because I care about you so much.

He presses send. Then types up another text:

I'm sorry. Please. Don't cry. I wish I was there to hold you.




Luhan stares at the message with swollen red eyes.

He buries himself under the blankets, with a worried Yixing asking him if he was okay. He doesn't say anything and Yixing sighs, knowing the reason why his roommate was like this.

"I don't know why you two fight so much when it's obvious you're both so in love with each other."

Luhan keeps quiet and Yixing lays a comforting hand on his back.

"You better rest Luhan. We have an early schedule tomorrow."

With another worried glance at him, Yixing turns off the light and heads to sleep.

Luhan falls asleep a little later with his phone clutched against his chest and the dried track of his tears on his cheeks.




When he wakes up in the morning, he opens his phone to read yet another text from Jongin:

Take care and have a great day okay? Don't work too hard.

He doesn't respond but simply gets up weakly and heads to the shower, getting ready for their scheduled activities.



Later on the day, with his bones weary, Luhan lays his head against the van's window, on their way back to their dorm after a tiring day.

Watching the busy traffic city night life of Beijing zoom past, he opens his phone and hesitantly types up a text.

Jongin....
I miss you.




Jongin was already asleep on the couch by the time he sent the message, waiting up to hear from him, his phone tightly clutched in his hands. Kyungsoo had to get a blanket to wrap around him, knowing the reason why the younger boy was looking depressed the entire day.




When he didn't get a reply right away, Luhan knew Jongin was already fast asleep.

Typing up another text, he simply sends that one word that he associated with Jongin with everything he had.

Saranghae.



Later on that night, Luhan was able to sleep peacefully, wrapped in one of Jongin's old hoodies from their trainee days, his scent still remaining from the last time they were together. Luhan loved Jongin's scent more than anything and it felt like home.

If he was still awake, the message waiting on his phone would have made him the happiest and banish his worries away:

I'm sorry. I really am. I hate it when I make you cry so no more tears okay? We have an early schedule today so we'll talk later promise.

I love you too. Hwaiting! Remember to smile. :)