Leap of Faith

 

 

"Luhan hyung, you know that I love you."

 

Jongin turns away, otherwise he'd most likely break down and cry infront of his hyung and that wouldn't do.

 

He had his pride.

 

"Is it... is it so hard to accept my feelings? I don't understand why but it's you, hyung. You're all I've been thinking about. You're all that I want."

 

Luhan's heart immediately breaks. He didn't mean to do it purposely, it wasn't as if he rejected Jongin, he never could do that, but he was afraid. Afraid of his feelings, afraid of the attraction between them, afraid of getting his heart broken.

 

Because despite it all, he loved Jongin with everything he had.

 

Seeing him hurt because of him was the worst feeling imaginable and his heart twinges in pain that it was almost physical.

 

"Jongin..."

 

So he does the only thing he can do at that moment. He wraps a pair of shaking arms around his waist and lays his head gently against his strong back.

 

Jongin freezes on the spot.

 

"I can't give you an answer right now, but just know that..." Luhan hated how his voice started to crack slightly, "I just want you to know that I love you. I love you and I return those feelings... and that I know how you feel because I feel that way about you too."

 

The sharp intake of breath Jongin takes was unmistakable. The younger boy relaxes somewhat and places his hands on top of the soft pale ones around his waist. Closing his eyes tight, he leans his head back and whispers achingly, "Then why?"

 

Luhan buries his face against that strong neck, inhaling that scent he loved more than anything in the world, never once letting go.

 

"Because I'm scared. I care for you and I've been hurt before. I'm afraid that if things don't work out between us that it'll scar me and I love you so much I can't risk it. I love you Jongin. I do."

 

Jongin slowly disentangles his arms away and turns around to wrap his arms tightly around him. The sudden slight dampness against his shirt sleeve surprises Luhan and with a groan, he wraps his arms around him in return.

 

Jongin was crying silent hot tears damping his shirt and it made his heart ache unbearably.

 

"Pabo-yah." Jongin whispers gruffly.

 

Luhan looks at him pained, and reaches up to wipe his tears.

 

"What?"

 

"You're afraid because you love me?"

 

Luhan looks away.

 

"Luhan hyung, look at me."

 

He tries to resist but in the end, complies. He looks up at Jongin and that deer in the headlights look in his eyes makes Jongin groan out loud and without warning takes those lips against his in a deep kiss.

 

The hot tears that started to roll down Luhan's cheeks was hard to keep at bay and of course Jongin notices and kisses them away gently. He looks down at that beautiful face and Jongin's heart was nearly bursting with all the love in his heart.

 

Leaning his forehead against Luhan's, he looks deep into his eyes and kisses away the tears from those long soft pretty eyelashes.

 

"I love you, and you love me. What else do we need hyung? This is it. Love is about taking chances and I'd rather try and see where this goes rather than spend my entire life not knowing."

 

"What about Sehun?"

 

Jongin kisses his forehead softly.

 

"He's a big boy, he can handle this. Don't you think we deserve to be selfish for once and not think of Sehun's feelings for a change? I know you love him and I do too, but we deserve to be happy too."

 

With a sigh, Luhan nods and fiddles with the hem of Jongin's shirt, edging his fingers to touch the hard muscles, and of course this causes Jongin to kiss him again.

 

 

 

 

Later on, Luhan looks at the sleeping boy next to him, caressing his face softly. 

 

This was worth it. Jongin was worth it.

 

"I love you." he whispers in the dark, closing his eyes, snuggling deeper in Jongin's embrace.

 

Love was a leap of faith but Luhan was going to fight for it.

 

 

 

 

Jongin’s Special Person

 

 

“I know, I said a lot in our video birthday message already, but umm, hyung. There’s something more.”

 

Luhan looks at Jongin in surprise.

 

“More?”

 

“Yeah… and I figured that since we’re actually together now, and knowing how much I’m gonna miss you when you guys leave, I might as well just give you my present.”

 

“Okay. What is it?”

 

“Close your eyes. No peeking.”

 

Doing just that, Jongin takes Luhan's hand in his and leads him out into the small balcony of their dorm.

 

“Okay, you can open your eyes.” 

 

Luhan couldn’t help the gasp that comes out of his lips.

 

There, right in the middle was a comfy make-shift bed with fluffy white pillows, complete with blankets, a basket with treats and delicious food. He couldn’t help but laugh seeing the rubix cube that was placed on top of one of the pillows. Not only that, the best part was that it was facing a beautiful display of stars and Luhan’s heart immediately melts.

 

Jongin did this all for him?

 

“Jongin-ah, I don’t know what to say…”

 

“Hyung?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Before anything else, there’s a question I’d like to ask you.”

 

“What is it?”

 

Taking out a handwritten folded note, Jongin gives it to him, nervous.

 

“Read this.”

 

Opening the note, Luhan reads the neat bolded blocks of Jongin’s handwriting:

 

Luhan hyung, will you be mine?

 

Luhan then gives Jongin the most beautiful smile and it was that same smile that Jongin fell in love with.

 

“Yes.”

 

 

 

A little while later, with Luhan’s head against Jongin’s chest, the older male inhales that sweet spicy scent, reaching up to kiss that y adam's apple.

 

“So what did it take for you to convince everyone to leave us tonight? Who helped you?” Luhan couldn’t help but ask.

 

Jongin laughs out loud, burying his face in the soft blonde hair of Luhan's.

 

“Kyungsoo hyung was the one who helped me cook and Suho-hyung was the one who gave me the pep talk. Chanyeol hyung gave me the idea of watching the stars with you. Sehun helped me prepare all this. As for bribing them, I told them I’d all give them free dancing lessons if they leave the dorm for tonight and gave them some of my extra pocket money to eat out.”

 

Luhan giggles.

 

“Hmm… you know I’ve always waited for you to tell me.”

 

Looking down at that beautiful face, Jongin that lovely skin, running his hand down against Luhan’s arm, making the older male shiver. He kisses Luhan’s forehead, skimming his pretty eyelashes and eyebrows.

 

“I’ve had a crush on you forever, Luhan hyung. I just felt it was time to make it official knowing we were just wasting our time running in circles. I realized that when I was away from you and missing you like crazy.”

 

“I’ve always liked you too.”

 

Wrapping his arm around him, Jongin smiles and cuddles closer to Luhan’s warmth, the stars shining up above them.

 

“Happy birthday. This is what I really wanted to tell you in the fan birthday party with Tao…. and I would have said a simple “I love you” just like everyone else, but I wanted to show you instead. It needed to be special. You're special to me.”

 

Luhan touches Jongin’s full lips gently with his thumb.

 

“I love you too. Thank you for the sweetest birthday gift ever Jongin."

 

 

 

Cuddling

 

 

“Can I just snuggle here for awhile hyung? I’m sleepy and you’re so warm and comfy.”

 

Luhan tries to calm the erratic beating of his heart at having Jongin in his arms. Clearing his throat, he wraps an arm around him, moving closer and the younger boy sighs in happiness.

 

“You smell so good.”

 

Luhan wanted to groan out loud at the words.

 

“Like warm vanilla and strawberries. It fits you too. Hmmm.”

 

The deep baritone voice rumbles against his chest, causing Luhan’s hands to shake as he reaches a hand to Jongin’s hair.

 

He loved Jongin’s voice.

 

“I don’t smell like vanilla and strawberries,” he murmurs against his dark hair, the slight lilt in his accent evident. ”You smell like it.”

 

Jongin barks a deep laugh and a hand dangerously plays with the edges of the hem of Luhan’s shirt. Luhan shivers involuntarily in response. The younger boy has always had such an effect on him.

 

“I don’t think so. Strawberries aren’t my thing, hyung. They’re yours.”

 

Luhan smiles.

 

“You do smell good though.”

 

Jongin blushes and was glad that it was dark and the only source of light was coming from the television, the movie long forgotten. He’d die in mortification and embarrassment otherwise. He’s had a crush on Luhan for the longest time now.

 

“Okay, but I don’t think sweet fits me much. How about y, hyung? I think I like that better.”

 

Luhan laughs out loud.

 

“Fine, y then.”

 

“Yeah, if I’m y then you’re sweet.”