Dating? Who?!

[Prerevamp] Saranghamnida

 

((Key's Point of View))
 
"Is Taemin already here?"
"Not yet" I answered almost shouting because the oil in the pan's sizzling was too loud.
"Key-umma, you're cooking?" I laughed at what he called me.
"yes appa, I know you missed my food." and then we laughed at our joke.
 
"Key," Onew began when our laughing subsides. "Maybe we should really stop this joke, people might think we're gay."
I laughed. "Is appa that affected?" and then laughed again.
"nah, but the fans are."
"Onew, Is this because the girl you like thinks your gay? Tell him you're not, and I-never!"
Onew just laughed. "Finish your cooking fast umma! Appa is hungry."
"Stop it!" and continued on cooking.
 
"Key!!!! Wait... come on... fast!"
"Wait, the food might get burnt!" I immediately turned off the stove and run. 
 
"Wha.." I shut my mouth and listened. I immediately understood why Onew has been ordering me to come to the living room.
 
"Uhmmm.... yeah... that's basically the scoop between us. Lee taemin asked me to date him... uhmm... yeah... I hesitated at first because he's younger than me. I'm am like 21 and he's 17, but yeah, Taemin's charm got me."
 
What!!! Taemin is dating Sel? As in Selene Liyana? The Korean top model?
 
"Oh, Taemin sure likes his noonas steaming hot!" Somehow, I crunched my nose on that statement.
 
Don't get me wrong..Selene Liyana sure is steaming hot. Especially on how she looks tonight, she wears a red dress paired with a high heeled boots; Red lipsticks and smoky eyeshadow.. all of that Spells H-O-T.
 
But what made me cruched my nose, is the part of the sentence where he said.. Lee Taemin sure likes his....
 
Taemin is never like that. He never liked Sel's type. He likes intelligent women who look stupid. Sorry taemin!... but I guess that's what I thought. and apparently, I was wrong..
 
Sel is dating Taemin.
 
((Sel's Point of View))
 
"Taemin, uhhhh.." I smiled before I kiss him passionately, playing with his sweet taste. We are on my car. I went to him and pick him up after the interview.
 
He just looks at me, with a dumbfounded look in his eyes. Aisshhhh... this boy is too Innocent. I grabbed his hand and placed it on my . His eyes wide in shock.
 
I stopped. Taemin is a boy. He doesn't even know how to touch me when I'm practically offering myself to him.
 
Lee Taemin, I'm gonna make you a man~.....
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Rini6189
#1
Chapter 11: It has been a long time since I'd last read this fic and this was updated. My interest from SHINee had drifted, which is one reason why I didn't get to this. Life can get hectic when your priorities shift and you've got more responsibilities on your plate.

It sounds like you meant "in the studio." Using the preposition "on" doesn't make sense.

It doesn't seem like Taehyun was in the studio since his presence wasn't mentioned and the SHINee members didn't say anything about seeing him there. However, it's likely that they didn't notice him or realize that he's there when he didn't make his presence known (hiding in the shadows). Whatever purpose he has, he is paying close attention to Shizune. Because of the angle that he's in while observing her, it seemed to him that she was looking at Onew. Views can be obscured when looked at from a different angle that's not within range. Something more about Taehyun's character has yet to be revealed. Taemin's side of things need to be explored as well. It's a point of curiosity about what you'd be doing with Shizune's, Taehyun's, and Taemin's characters.

Hopefully, you'll get around to updating this fic whenever you could.
ImWeird #2
Heyoo i lM startibg to love ur stories hahah please update soon
k-love-biased
#3
I hope you'll update really soon. :DD
Rini6189
#4
This is short, but we have a sweet Onew-Shizune thing going on here. Just as he is the leader of SHINee, he can prove himself to be a good fatherly figure. He is so responsible in checking in on the other SHINee members and making sure that Shizune gets home safely. It's obvious that Onew is already in love with her even though they just met ("love at first sight" indeed). It looks like one twisted family she grew up into. Her mother wasn't setting a good example or being a good parent for her by going out clubbing with her friends instead of spending time with her on her birthday. Her father is even worst. He shouldn't have been together with another woman while he's still married. That is so morally wrong and it's infidelity on his part. It's a good reason for her parents' divorce. xD Hell might've rained a thousand daggers by then after he was found out. Throughout the madness, it's good that Shizune is able to remain sane and keep a good head on her shoulders. Taehyun's absence has gotten me puzzled. <br />
<br />
Chapter 9 mistake:<br />
<br />
I was on my pajamas and I decided to drink milk downstairs.<br />
* It's "in my pajamas" since she is wearing them on her body.
Rini6189
#5
That's a nice poster that you'd put up. The way that Onew reacted to their misunderstandings is cute. xD Not Taemin too! It's something I would have expected coming fron Jonghyun since he seems to be such a ladies' man. Taemin looks up to Jonghyun, but he doesn't seem to be setting a great example for him--being a flirt. The way that Taemin looks at Shizune... Could it be that she's somehow familiar to him but it's something that he couldn't quite put his finger on? xD Unless, you're trying to surprise us readers into thinking that it's Taemin but he is actually Taehyun in disguise. They are identical twins, so it's not impossible for them to pull it off. I wonder if that Selene woman had already corrupted poor Taemin. Onew is so sweet here. xD After how Shizune thanked him, he might take it the wrong way and think that there's an extra special meaning behind her actions since he's flustered over it. <br />
<br />
As grammar reminders: <br />
<br />
The correct prepositional phrase is "on the stage." When you wrote "in the stage," it makes me think of them standing in a hole on the floor while the two are watching them below. xD That wouldn't make sense because Shizune wouldn't have seen them before her.<br />
<br />
It's "closer to us." Minho and Jonghyun are heading towards them where they're standing.<br />
<br />
In this phrase, "seems like the only thing I wanted to look to feel and to hear is Taemin," there should be commas to separate the list of actions so that the sentence flows smoothly--"to look, to feel, and to hear."<br />
<br />
Onew stuttered as scratched the back of his neck with his left hand.<br />
* The subject "he" should be inserted after "as."
NerdyJae #6
Hayy there! Your poster is ready to be picke up! Drop by whenever you can :) Thanks for requesting at NerdyJae's Photobook and thanks for being patient~<br />
~~>NerdyJae:JaeJoongLove