Kris

I let out the breath I had been holding as I leaned against the inside of my front door, sliding down until I was squatting with my head in my hands, the coolness of the wood supporting my back, keeping me sane. 

“Her eyes,”I thought as my heart pounded away in my chest, showing no signs of stopping in the coming minutes. Even from across the street, several feet away, her eyes were so like my Mei Ting’s. The hurt, the sadness, the loneliness; it was all there in the orbs of the strange girl in the window.

“Wu Fan!” she cried, running into my arms, burying her head in the crook of my neck as she wept silently into my chest. Her fingers tightening their hold on my cotton shirt until her nails threatened to puncture my waist with their strength.

“Mei-ah” I whispered gently as I habitually caressed the top of her head, sweeping through her soft hair with the tips of my fingers, inhaling the scent I had come to love with the passing months. I too held her closer, scared that she might crumple under the weight of her tears without my support. Just like this, we stood under my doorway for what seemed like an eternity, waiting for her to regain her composure so she could explain everything to me.

But in the back of my mind, I already knew.  Perhaps it was the developing bruises on her arms and leg, purples and blues dotting the otherwise flawless milky skin. Or perhaps it was the caked on makeup that barely covered the angry red handprint across her cheek.

Or perhaps, it was simply because I loved her with every fiber of my being.

Either way, the evidence was there on her body and in my heart, there was no point in denying it.

“Wu Fan...,”she shakily started, her voice still muffled by the hoodie I had quickly pulled on after her call. H-he h-he h-hit me again and called me a disappointment. I-I was just sitting in my room when the door flew open and he stormed in with a m-m-murderous look in his eyes and the smell of alcohol on his b-breath.  H-he locked the door and windows so I c-couldn’t escape again and just hit me. It hurts s-so much. What’s wrong with me? Why can’t he love me?”

As the confession flew out of , I felt my heart break with a pang. The girl I loved had been hurt once again, and I had done nothing in my power to protect her. I had promised her that she would be safe with me, yet now, she was more broken than ever. I had done nothing but watch as she endured the physical and emotional pain alone.

I wrapped my arms still tighter around her waist before tenderly pulling away, her glowing cheek and wiping away her lone tears.

“I promised you, didn’t I? I promised you that it would be the last time you would ever hurt…I’m sorry for not being able to fulfill that promise. It’s all my fault. It’s all-“

My cracking voice laced with tears was interrupted by the slightest of brushes upon my chapped lips. As we separated, her eyes held my gaze, her loving yet dismal stare melting my heart. With years of practice, she had learned to mask it well. But with months of practice, I had learned to read her well.

“Wu Fan,” she began firmly, “It’ll never be your fault. I’m the one who’s not good enough for her own father. I’m the one who-“

I shook my head and forced her gaze back to mine. “You’re perfect. I love you Zhang Mei Ting, and that’s all that matters. It will always be you and me against the world until the end of time. You and me, we’re forever.” I replied simply as I held up my right hand that showcased our ring, glinting in the sunlight. “You know that right? I’ll never let you go as long as I live.”

As I finished, her head wavered side to side, shaking my faith. “I’m so sorry you had to love me.”

With the final say, she gave me a bittersweet smile and turned to leave, kissing me once more on the lips before walking away, back to her reality.

And I had stayed there like a fool…who let her die.

I let out a piercing scream that resonated throughout the vacant house and brought my fist hurling down onto the tile floor. I immediately heard the sickening crunch and felt a scorching pain accompanied by a warm trickle of blood, but I didn’t care. I was numb. Numb from the memories, the unbearable fact that she had taken her own life, just to escape. After her death, I had thrown together all my savings and ran, not knowing or caring where I would end up. It just couldn’t be there, in China.

I fled the country to Korea, as I had had enough training in the language to survive there. I called up a friend of my parents, changed my name and left everything, all to forget her. So I could wallow in my own guilt without anyone getting in my way.

I thought I had succeeded too, until I saw her. The girl in the window, the girl with the sad eyes. She had opened up the floodgates and I was dying once more.

Looking back, I should have given Mei Ting the comfort she so badly desired and most importantly, needed. Whatever she came looking for in me that day, she never found, for if she had, her retreating figure wouldn’t have been the last I ever saw of her. I should have promised to protect her once more or run away with her that very moment so that she would never get hurt again. I should have noticed the signs; the last goodbye, the defeated posture.

Loving her simply wasn’t enough, at least not that day. I wasn’t enough, and I would have never been enough.

Remembering the sad eyes of the girl in the window, I vowed to myself to never get associated with her, to never let our paths cross, even for the slightest of seconds. Like Mei, whatever she was looking for, she would never be able to find in me. She would never be able to find any source of comfort in me, and I wouldn’t let history repeat itself. I wouldn’t let her die because of me.

Kris is honestly so dreamy. Then again, so is the rest of EXO and my B1A4 babies and the rest of the Korean male population. (◠﹏◠✿)

Leave comments please! I want opinions on my first story ^^