Any hope of peace I had was shattered as soon as I set foot into the library. There, sitting at one of the many tables, was Lee Byunghun- who appeared to be giving out his life story brazenly to the dozen or so curious onlookers. His voice echoed largely through the jumbled group of people and all across the room. Every other word was followed by roaring waves of laughter. He threw his glance around the room as he spoke, flashing charming little smiles at his fervent fans. Empty-headed girls giggled a little too loudly at his gesture. I felt my blood pressure rise as I looked on the scene. Who was he to sit there, looking so perfect and speaking so smoothly.

                *Does this guy even know what a library is used for? Who does he even think he is?* I swung around and hurried down the hall. Why was it that every time I tried to find even the smallest bit of peace or joy, Lee-bigheaded-Byunghun had to come along and tear it apart? No matter what I did it seemed that he would always be there to interrupt my happy little world. Why was it that I could never seem to get away from him or that tormenting face? And why did it bother me so much when I saw him that way? Was it that I couldn’t stand the way he was around others? Or was the fact that he wasn’t with me…?

                *No. That’s not it. That could never be it.* I bite my lip harshly and shook my head, trying the best I could to escape the idea of that handsome smile aimed at some giggling idiot.

“Myeongji!” I could hear footsteps from just down the hallway.

*Please; can’t you just leave me alone?* instinctually, my pace quickened as my eyes began to burn.  I had to get away. I couldn’t let him see me like this. I couldn’t let anyone see me like this.

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The moment I saw Myeongji’s figure in the broad doorway I jumped to my feet, sending a sudden shudder through the small ocean of people around me. Her eyes meet mine with a look of sheer annoyance. I winced at the acidity of that look. But there was something else hidden behind that heated look; there was this look of sharp sorrow that tore at my heart. I hated when she gave me that look, it tore me apart each and every time; not that I didn’t understand why she would feel that way. I’m not quite sure if I’d want to spend too much time around me either if I were her. It seemed like no matter what I did I could never get anything right. I was always a step behind and a world away from saying from what I meant when it came to Myeongji.

If I could change anything- anything in the whole of this world, I would exchange every moment she gave me one of those searing looks for the way that she smiled to me when it was just the two of us. Or the way she held my hand. Or that little laugh she gave when she was embarrassed or nervous. In those small moments I felt as though maybe, just maybe, all else was forgiven or that maybe it could be. I wish it could. I wish I wasn’t such a fool- that she could look at me with those beautiful eyes with something more than remorse. I knew it was too much to ask her to love me, but was it too much to ask her to simply like me?  

By the time I had managed to get to the door Myeongji was already halfway down the hallway.

“Myeongji!” My feet carried me down the hall, desperate to right every single wrong I had caused, “Come on; wait up. I want to talk to you.” I reached my hand out to her shoulder just as I caught up to her.

“Byunghun,” she stopped, her shoulders ridged under my finger tips and her voice sounding strained,” I can’t talk to you right now... I’m sorry, but I just can’t be around you- no- I can’t see you like this.” Her words caught me by surprise.

“See me like what?” I walked in front of her, my hand still rested in her shoulder. The deeper I looked into those eyes the more pain seemed to surface. “Please; explain. I’ll listen. I want to understand. What is so wrong that you can’t even look at me?”

She breathed in a slow breathe and then let it out just as slowly before she contemplated a response.

“Not like this,” she made a wave-like gesture with her hand to where I stood,” Like that.” She turned to look back toward the library. My voice escaped me for what seemed like an eternity. We stood there like statues; her face still turned away from mine.

“I just can’t stand it anymore; this game you play with my mind. First you act like a jerk not just to me but to every single person that comes near you. You push people around and you throw around harsh words like it’s nothing. The very moment everyone else turns away you turn to me with that look in your eyes,” she paused, looking back to me finally with those sad eyes, “and I just... I need to know that this- that you aren’t just messing with me…” Myeongji’s voice cut off, leaving what seemed to be an infinite amount of space between us.

“I…,” my mind was racing with the millions of words I could or should say. It was so frustrating to not ever truly be able to say what I meant when it came to her. But more than that, it hurt to hear that she truly felt that way about me.

Without another word or thought I wrapped my arms around her. I felt her jump lightly, shocked by the sudden closeness. From within my arms her warmth seemed to radiate through my entire body. Her forehead pressed awkwardly against my chest, her soft breathes blowing clumsily against my shirt. I felt my heart bumping around in my chest too loudly for her not to notice. I rested my chin on the top of her head, letting my eyes fix on the scenery outside of the windows.

“Myeongji I’m sorry- So very sorry for every single moment that I made you feel like that. I don’t mean- never once meant to be as much of a fool as I am. I’m just so,” fear froze my voice and when it returned it was so soft that I wasn’t sure she would be able to hear what I said after.

 “Why is it so hard to talk to you? Every time I’m around you it’s like I can’t even think straight. Something in me just panics. I don’t know what to say or what to do, and I just end up doing and saying things that I don’t mean… I guess I’m just so afraid that I can never be good enough for you to smile at me genuinely; so scared that I can never make you happy...” I could feel my cheeks burning red as the words escaped my lips. For half of a minute I thought I might just run away, but the sudden sound of her voice held me to the spot.

“I need you to promise me something, Byunghun,” She wriggled her way out of my firm embrace, her eyes fixed seriously on me as though something very serious had been decided.

“Anything, just say the word,” I imitated her seriousness with a nod.

“Promise me that no matter what happens or who is around that you will always be like you are right now when you are with me,” her eyes burned with that same seriousness. The longer I saw that serious face the funnier it became. A chuckle escaped me before I had time to reign it in.

“Yah! Don’t you laugh at me!” she hit my arm lightly; “I’m being serious here.”

“Ah!” I rubbed at my arm in mock pain, “I know, I know; geez. I’m sorry. I promise.”

“You promise what,” her hands flew to her hips.

“I promise that no matter what I will henceforth and nevermore act like a complete idiot around you,” I held my right hand over my heart, speaking as if I were reciting an oath, “And that nothing will change between you and me, no matter who is around.” Her expression softened into something almost discernable as a smile.

“Pinky promise…?” she held up her little hand, tiny pinky extended towards me. Both of us smiled widely to each other as I linked my finger with hers.

“Pinky Promise”

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Dear reader,

I hope that you have been enjoying the story. I’m trying my best to pick up the mess of a plot line I left for myself. Aha~ It’s been almost two years since I started this story and I have to say that it is so refreshing to be working on it again. It feels like coming home after a long trip away.

The fact that this story has gotten so many views and subscription makes me so so very happy. How do you guys feel about these two new chapters I've done????? (10 and 11)

Thank you all for your time!!! Please leave a comment~