Rain, rain go away

please come back another day, but not today

'cause i'm not ready

to say goodbye to these golden rays of sunshine.

 

“But why would her parents left her for Jiyong?” So Hee asked, surprised at the turns of event happened, suddenly her life felt so drama-free now that the boys were telling her the story behind.

 

“Honestly, it was to protect him… from his own family, and because they were so loyal to the Kwons despite everything they have done to Chaerin,” Seungri explained. “Jiyong doesn’t have anyone, the closest relative he had was Chaerin’s family, and he lost his memories, they felt they need to take a good care of him,”

 

“Why doesn’t he live in his own house? Why must they bring him here?” So Hee probed further, and TOP sighed before answering,

 

“He freaked out the first time he went there, too much bad memories happened there, I guess. Without Chaerin around, it was just too much for him to be there,” TOP explained, but realizing how vague his answer was, he continued, “Jiyong’s original house was the one Chaerin living in right now, as she was trying her best to keep it well-maintained. You see, Jiyong’s parents weren’t exactly the best parents around, they were kind of…” he trailed off, and Daesung continued for him,

 

“Let’s just say they would punish Jiyong if they found him did something unfavorable, his only escape was Chaerin at that time, who would calm him down and made him laugh again, basically because she lived there, we would love to come too… but what little boys like us could do when it comes to the monsters called the Kwon?”

 

“So basically we just wanted him to really start anew, we thought it was a blessing in disguise that he forgot everything, even Chaerin agreed that it was… which was why she agreed to live there, creating a whole new world to Jiyong…” Taeyang finished.

 

So Hee couldn’t quite wrap her brain around the story the boys (mostly Seungri) had just told her. How Chaerin and Jiyong’s story was like a messed up Romeo and Juliet story with Chaerin being the daughter of Kwon family’s gardener, her mother as the maid. How Jiyong fell in love with Chaerin at the first sight and didn’t matter how hard she tried to shoo him away because she knew how impossible they were, he kept pestering her until she finally succumbed in.

 

The Kwon was surely not happy with this arrangement, didn’t matter how modern their lifestyle was, the son of a Kwon should never be in love with a gardener’s daughter.

 

“But you said she was your cousin?” She asked Seungri, noticing the weird connection. Seungri wasn’t the richest kid around, but that doesn’t mean he was a filthy poor guy either.

 

Seungri chuckled, “Jiyong made that up, because she and I were both Lee, because he knew I had hots for Chaerin back then, he tricked us saying that we must be family so I can’t fall for her. We were young, and we didn’t care about status at all, we still don’t care… Chaerin had always been like a little sister for us, until that accident,”

 

“We still treated her like a sister, but she felt too guilty to hang out with us, doesn’t matter how hard we try to tell her that it wasn’t her fault. We were so grateful the last few months where she can hang out normally again, it’s all thanks to Jiyong. But now, I’m not sure what will happen to them, I’m not even sure what will happen to us…”

 

“I will not leave you! EVER!” Jiyong shouted to Chaerin who was having hard time breathing due to all the shouting.

 

They were only around fifteen when everything happened, Jiyong forced Chaerin to join him and the boys to go vacationing with them, regardless what his parents said. She finally gave in after days of persuading not only from Jiyong but also the other boys, mostly from Seungri and Daesung.

 

They went back home a day after the drowning Chaerin incident. Everything started too fast, Jiyong were talking about their future together, telling her that he would take her vacationing for the rest of their lives. Chaerin was trying to be realistic, telling him how his parents hated her so much, that they wouldn’t agree to whatever relationship they had.

 

“You will! Look at how keen your parents are trying to separate us! For all I know you might even be engaged tonight and leaving me all alone! I’m just a maid’s daughter Ji!” She shouted with all her might, her face red.

 

They were arguing in front of his house, oblivious to the fact that Jiyong’s father witnessed everything as he was heating the car, fuming and getting angrier by every second passed. Before he knew it, he was in his car, speeding to Chaerin’s direction with no sign of stopping.

 

 “I promise I won’t leave you! Neve- Chaerin! Look out!”

 

***

 

The conversation ended as soon as they heard Mrs. Lee screaming out for Jiyong, when they rushed in all they could see was Mrs. Lee crying in front of the door, hugging Mr. Lee who had just come back from work, Jiyong was nowhere to be found and Chaerin stood as still as a statue with her face as white as paper.

 

 She was staring to the dark night outside, but really the eyes were empty, only when Seungri came to her and to hug her did she came back from her trance, she wasn’t crying anymore, but it scared Seungri all the more, “Oppa,” she looked up as Seungri gathered her in his arms, afraid that she would break down anytime soon, “he left me again…” She said with her head down, her voice was barely a whisper, and that was the only sentence she repeatedly said through the night like a broken record, not having a wink of sleep at all.

 

***

 

Jiyong spent the night drinking at the park, he had considered to go clubbing and waste the night away but then he decided it wouldn’t help. In the end here he was, staring at the night scenery of Seoul from a small playground in a secluded area near Hongdae. He was on his third bottle and he knew he wouldn’t get drunk anytime soon, and for once he cursed himself for being such a good drinker.

 

He remembered one time he and the boys spent the night together playing poker and drinking together, the game turned out silly for him as the boys getting drunk, TOP was showing him his cards, Seungri ripped his cards which he accused as bad cards, Taeyang was just staring at them with his smiling face, repeatedly saying that he was the only one wasn’t drunk and Daesung was out even before his second bottle.

 

He still couldn’t accept the fact that all this while, his life was built on lies, their lies. He couldn’t help but feel like a robot, not even having the control of his own life. Now he wasn’t sure if his name was even actually Kwon Jiyong, maybe that was a made up too? He chuckled bitterly at the memory, they were a good friend; that much he knew… and if he wanted to, he could actually hear his inner voice trying to convince him that they had his reason to do such things to his life.

 

And now he was determined to find the reason.

 

***

 

So Hee wasn’t sure what to do, her boyfriend Heechul had brought her home after the long tiring day, after making sure she was alright he went back home. So there she was, looking out of the window and staring at the night scenery of Seoul from her apartment. She couldn’t help but thinking how complicated people’s lives are. She looked out to the busy street, noting how each person in each car has their own story.

 

Jiyong’s story came as a shock for her, she couldn’t really imagine how it feels like to be him nor did she want to. She had heard about how abusive his parents were, although the boys had tried their best to be really subtle about it, the way they shuddered when telling her about the punishment Jiyong had to undergo when they first realized he had a feeling for Chaerin, or just anytime they felt him not satisfying enough as the son of the Kwons.

 

She could totally understand why the boys love Chaerin so much, for she was the one beside him when he needed support the most, for she was the sole reason he continued living. The dysfunctional family he was in, So Hee couldn’t help but agreed with their decision to lock the past behind him start anew. If only they could tell him about all this, So Hee thought, it would be better. But with the situation they were in right now, she wouldn’t be surprised if Jiyong would throw a fit and accused them of lying again.

 

She entered her room, laying on her bed staring at the ceiling. Remembering how empty Chaerin’s eyes were when she looked out of the door, repeating the words of how Jiyong left her again. So Hee knew if she were to stay longer in that house she would shed a tear or two looking at Chaerin’s condition. She was so lifeless, as if all her energy and emotions were drained out of her, which most probably was the case. And how she repeated those words, "He promised not to leave," was so heartbreaking

 

She sighed, she hadn’t been a friend of them for too long, but she enjoyed their company so much, and she regretted every single thing she did in the past. And it was obvious for even the blind how Jiyong and Chaerin love each other so much. She sighed, she should think of a way to help them getting back to each other’s arms again.

 

***

Jiyong couldn’t help but cringe the next day when he saw Chaerin in the campus hallway. She looked pale and lifeless, she walked aimlessly, bumping to some people as she walked to the class and saying incoherent sorry. He couldn’t help but curse himself when he realized that he was acting like a stalker, watching her every move and made sure she got to the class safely and ran all the way when his class ended to hers and saw through the window that she was spacing out in the empty class and got out of the class only after Taeyang called after her.

 

He could see the boys were trying their best to make her eat something, they kept putting their dishes to her plate but she was only staring at it blankly, the time she finally did eat her rice he thanked God. It wasn’t more than five spoons, and the boys were frowning at her, she only smiled at them weakly and left, Seungri quickly followed her. Jiyong couldn’t be any more thankful for that.

 

His mind was a mess, but he wasn’t one to deny his feelings. Didn’t matter how messy the situation was, he knew he was in love with her, but he was also angry at her. He couldn’t understand why was her mother acting like she was his, no matter how hard he tried to rake his brain he just couldn’t find the answer. Didn’t they say she lost her parents on the accident? So if they were her parents and not his, where were his?

 

He needed to sort out his thoughts first, deep down, there was a hidden excitement bubbling up knowing he had a puzzle to sort out. Jiyong wasn’t sure where should he go after he finished his classes so he decided to stay at the rooftop for a while, he couldn’t decide if he should go home, it wasn’t even his home anymore.

 

He was surprised to find So Hee sitting there, eating her lunch box alone. He thought of leaving but she had already noticed him, she was surprised at first but then smiled at him and motioned for him to sit beside her.

 

There was an awkward silence surrounding them, she couldn’t decide what should she do and neither did he. In the end, it was him breaking the silence by asking her where Heechul was, only to realize seconds later how stupid his question must be, Heechul wasn’t even studying in their university.

 

She laughed at him, “awkward, aren’t we?” she asked while munching some carrots from her box, he couldn’t help but notice how childish it looks for a university student to bring a lunch box, with a complete vegetable at that.

 

“I know what you’re thinking, you know…” She said, and continued, “Heechul made it for me, of course I have to finish it, I won’t want him pouting all the way when he checked it later,” she smiled at him, offering him some broccoli to which he declined.

 

“He’s a good man for you,” he finally said, and So Hee nodded her head in agreement.

 

“I know, he is like everything I needed to exist. What I’m lack of, he’s the answer, or even when he isn’t, together we will be the answer,” she said with twinkling eyes, and moments later she blushed, realizing how cheesy she was.

 

Jiyong totally understood her feeling, it was everything he and Chaerin was. And he couldn’t help but missing her, the image of her walking inertly came to his mind and he unconsciously frowned.

 

So Hee was finishing her food so they were silent again for a moment, but in that silence So Hee observed him silently, and her mind couldn’t help but retreat back to the information she got before.

 

***

 

“Where are his parents then, if his were actually Chaerin’s?” She couldn’t help but feel curious as to the existence of the so-called monsters the boys been telling her about.

 

“They… his father couldn’t accept the fact that he almost killed his own son, his only son. At least that’s what we suspected it to be…” Seungri answered, his voice was barely a whisper, the faces in front of her were gloomy.

 

“He killed himself hours after the accident,” Daesung continued with a low voice, and So Hee couldn’t help but gasp at the story.

 

“And his mother… she…”

 

If she could, So Hee would love to tell them she didn’t really want to know. Although she was indeed curious, her guts were telling her whatever the fact they were about to unveil, it wouldn’t be pretty.

 

“She’s in the asylum.”

 

but for now i'm stuck here waiting for

the sun to come and stop this awful downpour.

(The Rainy day Song - Chase Coy)

Author's little corner

this chapter isn't edited yet, nor have I checked any grammatical mistakes. If you spot some, please kindly tell me :) will edit later (including the format, righ now I'm killing my time in a coffee shop working on my thesis but I got bored so I decided to finished this chapter and posted it).

I believe all angst in the past had revealed here, time to move on with the story now t hat you all know what actually happened in the past. If you find any loopholes, again, please do kindly tell me. I'm afraid I made some because it's been a long time since the last time.

now, please do kindly tell me about what you think, like really, I will need your input and ideas.

on a different not (and quite a bitter one) someone stole my poster for this story, took down the credit and used it on her story. Well, I don't want to taint this dramatic story with my iness but yeah, if you want to see more about it (or more likely, me being bitter, you may go here to read it)