Your words burn
they're melting
what we had
I'm breaking down

Jiyong again found himself staring at the sleeping Chaerin, he decided she needed as much rest as possible right now, which was why he didn’t probe further despite his curiosity about Chaerin’s statement earlier. He tried raking his brain looking for an answer and silently cursed when he realized he just couldn’t find any.

He calculated the probability of getting some help, the boys might know something, although he could sense they were hiding something from him which might be the answer for the questions he had right now, after all Chaerin was unintentionally saying that, he doubt she would ever say anything about it if she was in her normal state. Then he considered asking his mother, she was the subject of this confusion anyway, but deep down he was afraid if the answer wasn’t something he hadn’t, or even he had expected.

At the end of the day when Seungri and Taeyang came with basket of fruits in their hands, he decided not to add confusion to his already messed up life and just deal with it for now.

***

Life was being kind to them, Seungri decided. Chaerin was recovering faster than ever, and he knew he should thank Jiyong’s existence around her for that. It usually took them heaps of efforts to just persuade her to eat, let alone take her medicine; the case was totally different now that Jiyong was around, though.

Right now, Jiyong was feeding Chaerin although she had insisted that she could do it herself. Both being so stubborn made it even more fun to watch, with Cherin acted childish and Jiyong tried to persuade her, not really needed, though. Chaerin would just give up in less than three minutes time and allow him to feed her, predictable, of course.

She was trying to be back to her nature, trying her best to keep her composure calm and collected like the Queen she was. Nevertheless, anyone could tell there was a slightly pink tinge on her cheek when Jiyong was within 5 meters reach, and it had nothing to do with her fever.

So Hee visited once without her so-called friends, apologizing sincerely and Chaerin smiled at her, for once in So Hee’s lifetime had she ever seen Chaerin smiling so widely and she was sure she was forgiven.

Jiyong had been nothing but a cooking-obsessed man, if Taeyang wasn’t around for him to disturb (and demand explanations about every dishes), he would be found in front of the computer, googling up simple recipes. He had told his family he was spending the nights in Taeyang’s as he wouldn’t want his mother to freak out if she figured out he was actually in Chaerin’s. Knowing her mother, it would be a happy kind of hysteric, though.

Chaerin attended classes again on the fifth day after the incident, and although almost everyone had heard about the incident, no one really dared to talk about it around her. Plus, they had their own lives to take care of, college wasn’t high school where you snuck your noses on someone else’s lives anyways.

So life had been good and kind, Seungri decided.

***

It wasn’t until a month after the incident that another major event happened. It started off as a happy occasion, Jiyong’s birthday party. Being the big guy that he was, of course he didn’t plan to have a childish party with balloons and cakes in his house, it was all So Hee’s idea, who had managed to befriend him and Chaerin. Surprisingly, after she had moved on from Jiyong (because, let’s face it, he was always Chaerin’s since the very start) So Hee had found herself a boyfriend, a guy from other College who had been keeping an eye for her since forever but she was too busy looking out for Jiyong, funny how life works, eh?

So there she was, preparing every details for Jiyong’s birthday as a token of apology because she still couldn’t get rid the guilty feeling she had ever since the incident. Jiyong’s mother had been kind enough to her, and she couldn’t help but being envious of Jiyong to have such a loving mother. She had told the boys to clear their schedule and of course they knew what she meant by that, and for them to distract Jiyong from coming back home, although really, with Chaerin around it wasn’t even needed.

Jiyong had been nothing but a lovesick puppy, which made both of them lovesick puppies. There wouldn’t be any day without Seungri having to watch them snuggling to each other, or Taeyang to witness them stealing little kisses, or for TOP to awkwardly be in front of them whispering sweet nothings and giggled with all the cutesy possible, or for Daesung to helplessly be a spectator of them feeding each other ice cream or sharing whatever was on the plate when eating in the campus’ canteen. In short, the Queen’s soul had finally found her mate.

There they were again, witnessing the royal couple (yes, they labeled it to them) childishly bicker while playing poker in Taeyang’s living room. For the nth time of the day TOP reminded himself that the only reason he stayed there was because he had to make sure for Jiyong not to go back home yet, although really, it didn’t seem like he would do so anytime soon.

“Do you want me to win it right now or later?” Jiyong whispered to Chaerin who was sitting dangerously close to him, head leaning on his shoulder.

She smiled widely, facing him with her chin propped on his shoulder and whispered back, loud enough for them to hear, “later, let them suffer first,” she giggled and he joined, pinching her nose in process and stole little kisses before throwing the card.

TOP looked around and he realized he wasn’t the only one suffering from their shameless PDA, the other three guys were rolling their eyes, annoyed to no end. As annoyed as they were, though, he knew deep down they were thankful at how good life was right now. For letting Jiyong and Chaerin to finally be together again.

It was almost 11 PM when So Hee finally texted Daesung that the preparation was done, TOP couldn’t help but heave a grateful sigh. As much as he loved the royal couple, their showcasing of love made him felt lonely, the last time he had a girlfriend was like years ago, and it didn’t even last that long.

Chaerin had fallen asleep in Jiyong’s lap, apparently the game was too boring for her, Jiyong himself didn’t look like he remembered it was his day.

“Let’s go back home now… look, Chaerin had fallen asleep!” Seungri chirped a little too cheerfully for someone who’s about to go back home.

For a moment Jiyong only stared at the sleeping figure and smiled a warm smile, “Gee… wipe that stupid smile off your face Ji, come on, I’ll take you home and drop her later,” Seungri disturbed his thoughts.

“Why are you taking me home, though, aren’t you being too sweet?” Jiyong glared, unhappy his moments of staring at his girlfriend was interrupted.

“I need to talk with aunty, that’s all…” Seungri answered nonchalantly, not forgetting to stick his tongue at Jiyong childishly.

Merong!

***

The moment Seungri realized that hell was about to break lose, it was thirty seconds too late. They were already standing in front of Jiyong’s house ready to celebrate his birthday while the birthday boy was still taking his time to wake the dearest girlfriend up, more like he didn’t want to wake her up.

Chaerin was mumbling incoherently, annoyed that her sleep was interrupted; no one should dare mess with the sleeping queen anyways. “Jiyong-ah, five more minutes…” she waved him off and tried to get her sleep again. Jiyong only chuckled, “no way, wakey wakey you lazy baby…” He cooed.

“Hyung… will this be… okay?” He whispered to Taeyang who had come to the realization too, soon the aura changed and their faces paled noticeably. They could only hope the worst they predicted wouldn’t happen.

Wish not granted.

When Chaerin finally opened her eyes and realized where she was, the fear took over her. Her grip on Jiyong’s shirt tightened and it didn’t go unnoticed, “Baby? What’s wrong?” he questioned, noticing the drastic change on her posture.

“Why are we here?” Her voice was small and timid, almost like she was scared of something.

Jiyong’s eyebrow furrowed, “This is my house,” he smiled at her, hoping it would ease whatever worry she had, for a moment he had this wishful thinking that maybe she was afraid of meeting the in-laws too soon.

The time Jiyong’s mother opened the door with a wide smile on her face with So Hee behind her, shouting ‘Surprise’ in her most enthusiast stance, the fear of the boys came true. Chaerin gripped Jiyong’s arms so tight, eyes widening, her gaze glued to the woman at the door for a moment before she lost it.

“Omma…” She whispered in a shaky voice as her body fell limp to Jiyong’s arms.

***

“Explain,” Jiyong said in a calm voice, suddenly it felt like déjà vu, and since he had experienced it before it shouldn’t be hard to experience it again, right?

The fact that people around him trying to hide things from him slowly killed him inside, part of him wished he would just go without knowing and caring whatever problem he had in the past, life was good, it was perfect. He had his friends, his lover, his family, everything was perfect.

Chaerin had gained consciousness, although her face was almost as white as a sheet of paper, her grip on Jiyong’s arms didn’t loosen a little bit, as though indicating how afraid she was of losing him again. They were now sitting in his living room, balloons and decorations forgotten and So Hee, despite being disappointed her plan didn’t work the way it should be, knew her place and had placed herself with the boys on the backyard, away from the stuff she wasn’t supposed to know, although she could ask them to tell her the real story.

It was past midnight when Jiyong’s mother, with her teary eyes finally decided to start, “I am not sure how you will react but… I want you to keep in mind that I love you as my own son,” the opening speech she gave was enough for Jiyong to read between the lines.

“You’re not my real mother, are you?” He accused, despite the raging emotions he felt inside, he managed to keep his calm composure.

“I am Chaerin’s,” his mother, or not anymore, answered. And suddenly another piece of puzzle fitted. That would explain why she knew so much about Chae, and why she cared too much about her; she was talking about her own daughter for God’s sake!

“Why?” his voice low, almost whispering. Chaerin beside him wasn’t saying anything.

“It’s…” She hesitated for a moment.

“WHY?” He repeated, almost shouting now, surprising Chaerin who instantly looked at him with obvious fear etched on her face.

“Why is everyone lying at me? Why would you all hide the truth from me? Am I some sort of toy for you to mess up? Is it fun? Are you guys having fun?” He shouted with all his might, standing up from the sofa and tearing away Chaerin’s grip from his arms.

“Why is it always like this? What else did you hide from me? Who are you really? Who? Wait, no, don’t explain it, you might as well make another lie, who knows? Maybe it’s all a lie, huh?” He shouted and a hysterical laugh followed suits, “Oh my God, I’ve been living a lie, aren’t I? All my life has been nothing but lies…” Jiyong whispered to himself.

Everything felt so pathetic for him, when he realized that all the happiness he had was built on lies.  The woman he believed was her mother suddenly announced that she wasn’t. He looked around to the balloons and all the ‘Happy Birthday Jiyong-ie” around him and snickered, who’d have known? Maybe his birthday wasn’t today after all, maybe it was all a made up too.

“Jiyong, please calm down… you’re scaring her…” The woman’s voice brought him back, through his teary eyes he could see the girl he had been having the moment of his life with was whimpering in her mother’s embrace. Déjà vu, everything was definitely déjà vu.

“You calm her down, don’t follow me,” he finally said in a calmed tone as he headed out of the house.

Take our pictures off the walls tonight
I don't wanna see you no more, I don't wanna feel you no more
Take our memories, throw them all aside

Author’s note:

Uh… don’t kill me yet, dear readers… I’m still here! And yay! Finally an update! *runs away*

*facepalm* I think I threw too much drama in this fic. I hope anyone is still interested in reading this, please do share me your thougts, thank you!