Chapter 7.
I'd Wait An Eternity For YouDay one. Today is the first day of your new treatment plan. The nurse came in and measured you again carefully so that they can keep track of the effects the stronger radiation therapy will have on you. Standing at 168cm tall you only weighed 42kg from your recent weight loss. The hair on your head stopped growing completely and your legs were so weak that it was extremely difficult for you to stand, let alone walk. They checked up on your throat, measured the size of your limbs and even recorded your voice to see how you sounded. All this took half an hour and your body was screaming for a rest by the end of it. You haven’t stood up on your own in a long time and this was draining a lot of your energy. The only thing that kept you motivated was the support from your parents and the love you had for them, for Yixing.
“Alright Peiyun, we’re done now, you can get some rest okay?” You could only nod as you finally fell over, your parents catching you right on time.
“Let’s get you to your bed.” They were trying to help you lie down but you didn’t want to. You just woke up from lying down for eight hours straight; you wanted to do something with your day. They were holding your arms so you couldn’t reach for your notebook, you decided to speak up instead.
“I want to sit up against my pillow.”
“But Peiyun yo-.”
“Mom, please.” Your parents helped you sit up and looked at you curiously. You refused to wear your oxygen mask and fixed the hat on your head slightly before reaching over for your diary. You wanted to write out the emotions you felt and the physical pain that enveloped your entire body right now. You wanted to write down the reasons for your decision before you lost the ability to write. You were afraid that you would forget the determination you felt as the treatments got tougher so you made sure to write them all down. Your hands shook as you began to write but not once did the shaking stop the flow of your writing. You never stopped until you got every single word down. This would serve as your own form of support to your future self. Things will only get tougher in the weeks to come.
You woke up the next morning to the face of your mother above yours.
“Oh you woke up before I could wake you. Your radiation treatment starts in an hour, let’s get you something to eat before then okay? It’s eight already and you need some breakfast.” Your mother helped you get up and opened the thermos full of congee.
“Can you eat on your own?” You nodded and took the spoon from your mother after she placed the thermos on your table. You were eating while your mother watched the news when your cell phone rang. It must be Yixing. Your mother’s attention went from the TV to you right away, extreme worry was displayed on her face. You have picked up every time he called over the past month and sounded okay so what makes your mother think that today will be different? You never spoke unless Yixing called anyway.
“Hello?”
“Oh Peiyun, you sound like you’re sick again, are you okay?” You looked outside the window and checked your calendar real quick, you have forgotten what month it was already. Hmm, March 1st.
“Ah, yeah… It’s because of my allergies. You know, spring season.”
“Ah, Peiyun! What did I say about taking care of yourself? You need to get some allergy medication for that. Remember when your nose was so stuffed that you had trouble breathing during middle school?” You chuckled lightly at that fond memory.
“Yes I do.”
“You ended up sneezing and getting snot all over me!” The whiny tone in Yixing’s voice brought a real smile to your face.
“Haha, that was your own fault. You tried to prank me by putting a dandelion by my nose.”
“Oh.. haha right… Just kind of erased that part from my memory… Anyways Peiyun, I called you to let you know that our last teaser is going to be uploaded tonight!”
“That’s awesome Yixing! I’ll be sure to go watch that tonight.”
“Ah, I’m so excited right now Peiyun. Remember when I told you that my debut will be within the next few weeks? My debut is scheduled for the 31stof March in Seoul and the 1stof April in Beijing. You can make it to the one in Beijing right? I’ll be saving tickets for you.” You thought about it for a bit and wondered if you would be well enough to fly down to Beijing a month from now.
“Yixing, I’ll try to but I can’t promise anything. I… have exams at that time so it will all depend on my schedule. I’ll do everything I possibly can to go though. I really want to be there to support you on your debut stage.”
“Ah, don’t worry Peiyun. I understand if you can’t make it but I would love for you to go. I haven’t seen you in so long and knowing that you’re in the audience to support me would give me strength.”
“I’d love to go as well. We’ll have to see.”
A month has passed since you have started your treatment now and every single day has felt like hell. The food you ate were all blended and your puking has gotten more frequent. You haven’t stepped out of your room at all and three nurses were needed to help you when you needed to be cleaned. You were lying down with both your mothers by your side when Yixing called you again. You were having trouble breathing without your oxygen mask now and set the phone down, staring at the caller ID. You couldn’t pick it up no matter how much you wanted to. After a few more rings and two more attempts to get in contact with you Yixing finally stopped. Moments later his mother’s cell phone began to ring.
“Hello? Ah yes, I have the tickets I’ll be flying down to Beijing with your father tonight. I know, don’t worry son you’ll do an amazing job. Peiyun? You can’t get in touch with her? Oh yes, I was talking to her mother just now, she has an exam tomorrow so she can’t answer your phone call but she made you a video message. Did you get it? No? … Did you check for attachments? Yixing! How is it that I know how to work a phone better than you do?”
You couldn’t help but feel disappointed at the fact that you can’t go and personally see Yixing’s debut. He had saved tickets for you and you had actually planned to go but all your plans went out the window. With your current condition it would be impossible for you to fly down there. You were still well enough to talk to Yixing two weeks ago but now you couldn’t even breathe properly on your own. Yixing probably called you just now to hear your voice, that alone would give him the support he needed from you. You had a feeling that your body would continue to weaken though and created a video message beforehand. Yixing’s mother had bought you a wig and the nurses helped do your make up. Your voice was still hoarse but you blamed that on strep throat. Another one of your lies. You were lying down and waited for Yixing to watch your message for him. He was still on the phone with his mother while the video played, you listened to your own voice as well.
“Yixing! I’m sorry that I can’t make it. I have to stay here because of my exams but I know you’ll do an amazing job. I’ve known you since we were seven and never have you changed your dreams. The passion you have for your dancing is something I admire. I love you for that. I really wish that I can be there with you right now but that’s impossible. I know this video isn’t the same as having me by your side but it’s the best that I can do. We’ll find the chance to see each other in the future though! Jia You Yixing! Show the world what Zhang Yi Xing is made of and make me proud! I love you!”
Your video ended abruptly and you could hear Yixing sniffling.
“Oh son, are you crying? Even at the age of twenty you’re still my baby.”
“What? No mom, I’m not crying, I just have a runny nose that’s all. Can you help me tell Mrs. Fan to tell Peiyun that I won’t let her down? I’ll show her the best side of me on that stage, you’re bringing a camera tomorrow right?”
“Yes I am, don’t worry son I’ll make sure to send the videos to Peiyun.”
“Awesome, you’re the best mom.”
“Haha, I know.”
“Alright, I have to go now. Rehearsal is starting soon.”
“Bye Yixing, good luck!”
“Bye mom, love ya!” Yixing’s mother put her phone down and looked at you with a soft smile.
“You hear that Peiyun? He’ll do just fine today and tomorrow, he’ll make you proud.” Your vision blurred as tears occupied your eyes again. You wished that you could fly down to Beijing right now to see him but that was impossible. Your lungs would simply collapse from the change in atmospheric pressure. All you could do now is hope that Yixing won’t find the need to call you anytime soon. There was no way for you to talk to him and you refused to let him know the truth. He needs to concentrate on his own life right now. If Yixing can live the life he’s always wanted then you would be happy as well. All you wanted is for Yixing to be happy.
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Alright! To everybody who's wondering when Lay will find out about Peiyun's condition... mmm I don't wanna spoil the story but I can tell you guys that it'll be within the next few updates =) Thanks for reading~! ^^
I can't believe my story has over 300 subscribers now. Thank you guys sooo much for reading! Hopefully I'll have a fanfic just as good as this one done again!
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