Chapter 11.
I'd Wait An Eternity For YouYou woke up to the sound of your door opening, you expected one of your parents to walk in but your parents were both asleep on the couch and Yixing’s parents just went home. You looked at the door curiously, your eyes adjusting to the darkness of the room. When the door finally opened the figure that stood by the door stunned you. You stared at him wide eyed, suddenly feeling self-conscious about your appearance, this isn’t how you wanted Yixing to see you, a skeleton on the hospital bed with machines surrounding you to keep you alive and breathing. Your frail heart managed to skip a beat as he approached your bed with tears welling in his eyes.
“Peiyun…” The emotions you’ve been trying so hard to bottle up burst the moment you heard him say your name. “Peiyun…” Yixing kept repeating your name; he didn’t know what else to say. As his trembling feet reached the side of your bed he wrapped his arms around you softly; afraid you would break if he used any more strength. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why did you go and endure everything on your own?” He was sobbing as he held onto you. “No, this is all my fault. How did I not notice? From your cold to strep throat and... Just… I’m a terrible boyfriend.” He continued to cry with you in his arms, the oxygen mask on your face kept you from answer his questions. You felt your own tears form and a single drop fell onto Yixing’s shoulder, causing him to let go and look at you. You wanted to turn away, you felt hideous but you couldn’t. You just laid there crying as Yixing cupped your face lightly, brushing off the tears that fell from your beautiful face. In Yixing’s eyes you were the most beautiful girl in this world.
“Peiyun, I’m sorry. Please, don’t cry… I can’t believe that I was so stupid. You won’t be alone anymore though. I’m here now, I’ll be there for you to support you and help you like how you have been supporting and helping me.” You shook your head lightly as those words spilt from his lips. Using all the energy that you could conjure you lifted your hand up to your face and pulled off your oxygen mask, speaking with an enormous amount of difficulty.
“Yixing don’t… I. It’s not your fault. I’m the one who chose not to tell you.” You paused slightly to regain your breath and to sooth your aching throat. “I want you to be successful Yixing, I want you to be happy and live your dreams. You have only just begun, work hard and show the world you’re the best. Show them the Zhang Yi Xing that I see in you. I’m okay.” Your head started to spin and you put the oxygen mask back on before looking at Yixing, you tried to keep yourself composed so he wouldn’t worry.
“But Peiyun, the life I want to live is a life with you in it. None of this success would mean anything to me if I can’t share that with you, if I can’t be with you. Peiyun, you deserve to have me there for you. You need me more than I need this. I don’t need to be Lay. My dreams are a want but you, you Peiyun, I need you.” He pressed his lips against your forehead softly. You felt so loved from the things Yixing told you but you didn’t want to be selfish. If you were to die, you would leave everything behind whereas Yixing would have to suffer the consequences of giving up his dreams and not having you by his side as well. Taking a deep and slow breath in, you took off your oxygen mask once again.
“Yixing, I’m serious. Go and do the things you love, go and work hard okay? I won’t be able to live with myself if you give this up for me. I want to see you on stage and perform Yixing. You worked hard every single day for the past four years to become Lay, embrace it, cherish it and own it.” Your voice was starting to soften and leave a breathy trail now, it was getting so difficult to talk but you had to. “Yixing, this is your time to shine. Listen to me. If you ask for a break to stay with me now, think about the impact it would have on your members. Don’t let them down, don’t let me down. I have high expectations for you Yixing.” Your hands lost its grip and your oxygen mask snapped back onto your face. Your eyelids felt heavy and it was taking up all the power you had to stay focused but you just couldn’t, it was getting so hard.
“They’ll understand, you mean so much more to me Peiyun. You’re the sun, my moon, the sky, my stars, the world and my everything. The reason this heart of mine beats with a purpose to live, I wouldn’t have come this far if it weren’t for you.” His tears continued to flow as he held onto your hand; the way his eyes looked inflicted more pain in your heart than this cancer has ever brought upon you. You continued to shake your head, pulling down your oxygen mask down to convince your stubborn boyfriend to go back.
“Yixing, I’ll get better.” You bit your lips to hold back the tears that threatened to fall again, you knew were lying. “I have my parents and your parents here for me. Don’t worry alright? I’ll watch your performances with them and answer your phone calls like before. Although, I don’t think I’d be able to talk as much as before.” You let out a half-hearted chuckle. “Show me everything you can become. Go show the world what I see in you on your stage. Win the rookie award and bring it back to me. I’ll be here waiting. Don’t give up and continue to work hard. Yixing, that’s why I love you and that’s why I’m alive. I’m alive because you proved to me that hard work will prevail in the end. Do this for me Yixing, you can right? If you want to return my support, become the best Yixing you can be. That’s all I ask for.” With that your eyes began to flutter, this was taking so much of your energy but you forced yourself to stay awake. You needed Yixing to go back before you broke down.
“Peiyun… I…” The uncertainty in Yixing’s voice discouraged you.
“Remember what I said before? I’d wait an eternity for you, I would never let myself leave before I see you become all that. Do this for me, please.” You knew this cancer was out of your control but you would try your best to fulfill this promise. The look of determination in his eyes that appeared as you finished talking made you smile. That’s the Yixing I know.
“Peiyun, I won’t let you down. W-wait for me to become the best and give you everything you deserve for being the most incredible human being to live in this world.” He held your hands and looked at you with an intensity that made you feel more alive than you have ever felt in the past four years. You nodded your head as he held you in his arms again.
“Peiyun, I love you so much. I’m so sorry for letting you endure this on your own. I promise to video call you whenever I can and to visit with every break I have.” His phone started to ring at this moment; it was an alarm he set to warn him when the train would arrive. He only had ten minutes left. His heart dropped at this knowledge. “Peiyun, I have to go soon…” You didn’t want him to go and you knew he didn’t want to leave either. It was like when he left for training all over again, the way he held onto your hands like it was the last time he would hold onto them and the way your heart clenched and unclenched from the pain of knowing he would have to go.
“Can you sing Angel to me before you leave?” You’ve always loved how his voice sounded while singing that song, you wanted to hear it live… just in case you wouldn’t be here anymore the next time he came. You’ve learned how unpredictable life can be by now.
“Of course, anything for you.” Yixing freed you from his embrace and quickly held onto your hands, his eyes never leaving yours as he opened his mouth to sing. The lyrics reaching a part of his heart that he never knew existed.
“为你挡下狂风身为你的守护者
Wei ni dang xia kuang feng, Shen wei ni de shou hu zhe
I'll block you from strong winds as your protector
永远有我就算世界都冷漠
Yong yuan you wo Jiu suan shi jie dou leng mo
You'll have me forever, even if the world is cold and indifferent
每次你痛苦委屈为你会把泪擦去
Mei ci ni tong ku wei qu Wei ni hui ba lei ca qu
Every time you suffer and are wronged, I'll wipe your tears away
如果是你和我不管在哪里
Ru guo shi ni he wo Bu guan zai na li
If it's you and me, no matter where we are
天堂是随时和随地
Tian tang shi sui shi he sui di
Heaven is anytime and anywhere”
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I apologize if this chapter was dragged out and repetitive but I feel like it's more realistic that way, people never know exactly what to say and they tend to repeat themselves when trying to get their point across. Haha, I hope you guys liked this! I'll update again either tonight or tomorrow, it depends on when I finish studying for Calculus ^^
I can't believe my story has over 300 subscribers now. Thank you guys sooo much for reading! Hopefully I'll have a fanfic just as good as this one done again!
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