Chanhee's POV

I haven't seen Byunghun ever since the incident at the cafe. He didn't go to school today, nor did he pick up when I called him, but luckily, the teacher had told me that he called in sick. Most likely from the rain on that day. He must've been waiting in the rain forever for someone who was never going to come. That someone being me. If only I didn't try to become straight again, this would've never happened.

Although, there was something that's been bothering me ever since then. And that was to why Byunghun cried back at the cafe. I could never come up with an answer for that.

My legs paced down the sidewalk, not stopping for anything. I was going to talk to him today no matter what. I had to. I needed an answer.

A familiar melody infiltrated my ears before I noticed that it was my phone. I glanced at the caller ID before picking up. Noona. "Hello?"

"Where are you?"

"I'm going to Byunghun's house. He's sick."

"You're supposed to walk me home."

"..."

"Well? Come back here!"

"No."

"Chanhee, don't make me tell Byunghun your feelings."

I'm tired of her using that against me. I'm no longer going to be threatened by her. "You're not going to." I retorted as I kept my pace down the sidewalk.

"And what makes you think I won't?"

"Because I'm going to." And with that, I hung up on her and turned off my phone before my inbox gets spammed by her useless ranting. To be honest, I'm still afraid of telling him, telling him what I've been working so hard to hide this whole time. What would he think of me? Would he laugh in my face and tell me that it's wrong? Or would he stay silent and motion for me to leave? Or worse, would he pretend to have not heard my confession at all?

I felt something constricting my heart with each step closer to Byunghun's house. This was definitely nervewrecking, but I didn't want to turn around. I couldn't.

I forced my finger to press the doorbell, only feeling myself quiver in my own shoes. I was nearly breaking apart and all it takes is for Byunghun to reject me for me to completely fall to pieces. I was either going to fix everything or die trying to.

"Chanhee?" The soft voice called out after the door cracked open. My eyes darted up at Byunghun, who didn't look as bad as he sounded. There was dark circles around his eyes that looked almost pink. Most likely from crying and lack of sleep. Both of which, were caused by me. I shifted nervously as my eyes lowered to the ground for a distraction. "What are you doing here?"

I didn't answer right away. Actually, I was still gathering myself to even look him in the eye. But if I didn't do something, this'll never be solved. "C-can I come in?" I choked out while my eyes gradually raised to face Byunghun.

He looked a bit confused at my question, but soon let out a nod and opened the door wider for me. I entered uncomfortably and slipped off my shoes as he closed the door behind us. I didn't know how to start this conversation. And if I brung it up, would he even want to hear it at all?

"What are you doing here?" He repeated the question as he neared me, standing beside me awkwardly. I lifted my gaze to him. To watch the emotion in his eyes. To discover the pain hidden inside of them. It was definitely there. And it wasn't hiding either.

"I'm sorry." I let out as I lowered my head a little, "I really didn't mean to.. to not show up." I avoided mentioning my feelings for him, and how this all started. I avoided all of that. I wasn't ready to lose him yet. I wasn't ready ever, but I guess, the only option left was to tell him everything. To reveal what I've been surpressing all of this time. And when he knows, would he still have the heart to say that we're still friends?

"So then you just happened to have plans with your girlfriend on the same day we had plans." Byunghun shot out with a hint of anger in his voice. I could tell he wasn't just going to forgive me as if it was nothing. Well, why should he?

I quickly shook my head as I promised myself that I'll tell him the truth. Everything, but only if he asks. "I didn't! Really... She just asked to meet up all of a sudden.."

Byunghun grew quiet, but his gaze never left me. He looked almost... hurt. In a way, it seemed like he didn't want me to meet up with her. And that was understandable. I had plans with him after all. My mouth opened to speak, to say something that'll help this become a thing in the past, but I didn't know what. We both just stood awkwardly staring at one another as if the other was going to say something that'll help us feel better. But that was not happening anytime soon.

"So you met up with her even though we were supposed to?" Byunghun finally made an effort to keep the conversation going, but his tone lowered. It almost seemed intimidating. I bit my bottom lip, knowing that this conversation was going to lead to my confession and our departure.

"I wasn't supposed to. I know, but.. but the reason why I did is the same reason why I didn't follow you afterwards." I answered, mustering up all of the courage that I possibly could to convey my feelings after all of this time. Byunghun lifted an eyebrow at me, not understanding a word I'm saying.

"And what's that?" He asked to clarify things. His arms were folded in front of his chest as his eyes watched mine with great concentration.

I gulped to clear my throat. This explanation wasn't going to explain itself even though I wished that it could. But either way, Byunghun was going to know. He was going to figure it all out. He was going to figure me out. "She was going to.. to tell you something that I don't want you to know.. I couldn't let her.. I can't let her ruin our friendship."

Byunghun's confused expression only looked even more confused at this point. His eyes were solely focused on me, expecting me to tell him the secret, but after I made no attempt to speak again, he did so first, "What don't you want me to know?"

I quickly shook my head, feeling myself already ripping apart as if I already lost him. I don't want to know the feeling though. The feeling of losing something so important to me. It would surely be the death of me. "I can't. I can't tell you. I don't want to.. I don't want to lose you.." I let out as I started to press my palms against my face to hide myself.

A pair of hands wrapped around my wrists and pulled my hands away, but I kept my eyes shut forcefully. "Chanhee, tell me." I shook my head rapidly and turned away from the direction his voice was coming from, "Chanhee." Another shake. "CHANHEE." With that, I felt a sudden shove that caused my back to slam against the wall behind me. My eyes ripped open only to see Byunghun's somewhat irritated face. "Tell me right now."

I shivered in my uncomfortable position, but I knew that this was it. This was the limit. I couldn't make Byunghun wait any longer. He was already getting annoyed. I bit my lip before nodding my head as a sign of surrender, "What I didn't want to tell you.." I started as my eyes glued to Byunghun's face. The least I could get was a reaction, even if it wasn't a good one. ".. is that I love you."

Byunghun's eyes seemed to soften after hearing my words and his grip on me loosened as well. If I didn't know any better, I would've assumed that he was soothed by it. By the sound of those words, but of course. I knew better. Byunghun wasn't gay. He doesn't even see me in that way. The seconds that passed seemed like minutes of complete silence. Byunghun never took his gaze off of me and I couldn't help but to avert my eyes away from him at this point. It was all too awkward to experience. I wish he would just reject me already so that I would stop feeling false hope muster up inside of me. So that I would be able to hit reality and recover.

Before I got to draw my eyes back at the golden-haired boy, he had already pressed his lips against mine. My eyes widened as a response. Now I was the confused one. This wasn't part of my plan at all, but instinctly, I let the kiss happen. In fact, I even returned it. His hands laid firmly on my shoulders as I trailed my hands down his sides mindlessly.

After Byunghun pulled away from me, I searched his eyes for something that'll give me a proper answer. Something that'll tell me what we were now. But before I could find the answer I was looking for, Byunghun already let a smile form on his face, "I love you too. I always have."

My face couldn't help but heat up at the words that I never thought I'd hear in my lifetime. They were the words I've been yearning for.  This feeling inside of me was a new feeling. I no longer felt the love that I had for him just yesterday. That was unrequited love, but this one, this one was returned. This one, Byunghun and I shared.

I guess this must be how it feels to love.

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OMG. Nasty chapter. I'm sorry it's so bad. ;___; I tried fixing it numerous times, but I grew lazy and... hungry. LOL. I just wanted to put this up. OTL. I might fix it up later or something.. Idk.