The Last Chapter: There is no what if.

Part III/III

Girl I see it in your eyes you're disappointed
'Cause I'm the foolish one that you anointed with your heart
I tore it apart
And girl what a mess I made upon your innocence
And no woman in the world deserves this
But here I am, asking you for one more chance

- One direction: Gotta Be You

Who ever said that the fairy,

could go on without her fool?

Because without her fool, she is not a fairy anymore.

And the magic disappears.

One month, one whole month. Now that I look back, where did that time disappear to? I don't remember any single day before today. What happened don't even ask me about details. Mostly I kept watching dramas, from day to day, from hour to hour. I though I would get sick of it in a week but no. The only time I wasn't watching dramas was when I was sleeping or when nun Mary dragged me out to work. I think she was worried a little. After all, I had been so lifeless. Maybe she loves me after all?

Maybe it's the clean fresh air and bright blue sky, my mother started getting better a lot faster. I admitted her for therapy to a local hospital, she went there four times a week, the rest of the time she helped at the monastery. She even remembered me, pretty often too. Psh, the only thing she ever did was order me around along with nun Mary and scold me. Not even kids spared me, no pity at all. John and Tesh kept going on about the bible and kicked me out from their basement sanctuary because every time I got drunk I would cry uncontrollably. There are certain things I didn't want to think about and had successfully managed to keep them away... when sober.

Then one day, a red sports car drove into the yard and parked in the middle of the kid's football field. They made such a huge commotion about it Dong Wook was sent to park his car elsewhere. Serves him right, just because he has a fancy car doesn't mean he can leave it anywhere. Not everyone is interested in his stupid car, red as his hair. Red Riding Hood wannabe. Since he arrived I have not had even one peaceful moment, he is worse than little devil Jung Woo and his posse. Sadly enough... there is only Jung Woo left, his friends all got suddenly adopted into different families. Sometimes I terribly miss them but mostly I am just relieved. By the way, Jung Woo has been watching dramas with me. They said there was something similar in the way we looked, both pale, tired, depressed and lifeless. It's all So Ji Sub's fault, we couldn't help but rewatch I'm Sorry I Love you all over again. That is, until Dong Wook brought the tornado along with himself. Wherever he went the peace had to make space for a happy disaster.

“Dara, I can't believe this. I came to hang out with you and... you ignore me. You hide from me now?” Dong Wook shrieked when he found me and Jung Woo in the library room, watching the latest episode of Bridal Mask. I found episodes with English subtitles to keep up with my English and also Jung Woo could learn more.

“Shi,it!” Jung Woo complained. “Go away annoying monkey.”

“Shut up, shrimp” Dong Wook slightly kicked Jun Woo. “If you don't respect your elders you will get badly beaten up one day. Then don't come to me crying.”

Jung Woo glared at Dong Wook.

“Aigoo, look at your funny face. You look like a little angry shrimp. So NOT scary.”

“What do you want bomb head?” I finally butted into their stupid argument. Lately everything was stupid...

“We need to talk.”

“I said I don't want to” I mumbled, knowing what would be coming. I was not going to accept any reality yet, maybe never.

“It's been a month, you need to come back and live your life.”

“I decided I will become a nun.”

“Me too” Jung Woo nodded.

“Eish” Dong Wook slapped Jae Wook's head. “First you will have to become a woman.”

“Tsh, I can if I want to...” The discussion was taking a strange turn?

“Arasso, let's wait and see. I bet you'd make an ugly woman.”

“Prettier than you.”

“Hey, if I dress up as a girl you wouldn't be able to tell I'm a guy.”

“Even if I pull down your pants?” Jung Woo smirked. 

“Ijasika” Dong Wook muttered, flicking Jung Woo's forehead. And then glanced at the computer screen. “What are you watching”

“Gaksital. Shhh, it's an important moment.”

“Good!” Dong Wook suddenly slammed my laptop shut.

“Yah!” Me and Jung Woo yelled in one voice. “You ruined it all!”

“Dara” Dong Wook grabbed my collar and brought his face closer to me. “We will go out now and talk, arasso?”

“Wait, wait, wait” Jung Woo appeared between us, pushing us apart. “Nuna has a husband already. Don't touch her, besides you are too lame. I don't allow.”

“Me, lame? You don't know what you are talking about” Dong Wook scoffed. “Who is her husband? You?”

“No waaaaay!” Jung Woo snickered. “I only like pretty girls with S figure.”

“You little” I puckered my lips.

“Then who is it?”

“The stupid ahjussi.” My heart froze in my chest, literally.

“Stupid ahjussi?” Dong Wook raised a brow, glancing back and forth between me and Jung Woo. “Would you elaborate a bit more, please?”

“Stupid stinky ahjussi, the dictator.” Jung Woo mumbled. “Anyway, I wish it was hyung but.. nuna has terrible taste in men and besides, hyung should marry someone better.”

“Seriously. No one is my husband!” I yelled and scrambled up on my feet. “I don't want to hear this kind of talks ever again.” A heavy cloud hovered over my head throwing a baleful shadow over my already threatening face. I threw a deadly glare at Dong Wook before storming out but he caught up to me down the hallway and grabbed my wrist. Frowning furiously, I pulled my hand free but he grabbed me and pushed against the wall, his palms landing on the both sides of my head. Guys...

“Jiyong, he is alive you know. So you don't need to be upset.”

I held my breathe not knowing why, my heart beat restlessly and his words, they did not calm me down at all. Even if he was still alive there must be something wrong with him.

“And so what?” I asked weakly.

“But he is in a coma right now... One of these days he will wake up for sure.”

“For sure?” My voice started cracking as my heart filled with sadness. “For sure?” Something like that doesn't exist. If he knew he would survive alive out of it he would never told me those words. 

“It's over”

Nothing is for sure ever again.

Dong Wook looked a little uncertain. “I don't want to lie about it. The doctor told us that if he didn't wake up after certain time the possibilities of him waking up at all are very thin.”

“And how long is that certain period of time?”

Dong Wook bit his lower lip and then lowered his gaze “Two weeks ago.”

“I don't want to hear any of this” I pushed him away and ran, eager to hid somewhere from the evil world. Red Riding Hood gone ROTTEN.  Aigoo, what has become of me? Me, the fearless and confident Dara being so cowardly and pathetic. I was disgusted with myself. But sure enough, all of us have weak moments, every single person. It's just that... my weak moment... didn't seem to be ending. Ever. Truthfully speaking, it was hard to imagine how to face tomorrow.

Breathless I fell on the grass and covered my face with my arm, tears escaping from the corners of my eyes. I didn't even cry much lately, maybe that's why after hearing about Jiyong's condition they came so easily, these bitter tears. And what if he never wakes up? All this time I had been afraid to guess whether he was alive or not, now I was forced to accept the reality. Well, there was no answer. He was not dead nor alive.

He was always been timeless.

“Nuna” Jung Woo's voice called out.

“I want to be alone right now” I mumbled.

“So, something bad happened to your husband and that's why you have been so depressed” he sat down next to me.

“He is not my husband.”

“But he told me that he will marry you. No, he said that in his imagination he already did, 167 times.”

“I don't want to hear” I sobbed, turning my back at the little boy. How cute Jiyong, how cute. That just made me cry even harder. Thanks a lot.

“When I asked why did he like you so much, I mean there is nothing to like, right? The looks are just average, the body is not much, the character is your worst trait.” 

“Are you trying to insult me right now?”

“He answered that he didn't know either.”

“What?” I paused for a minute and looked over my shoulder. “He doesn't know?”

Jung Woo nodded. “He agreed with me that you are ugly, fat, and-” Jung Woo paused when I glared at him and shrugged, ruffling his hair. “Anyway, he said that he loves you. That there is no reason. People who come up with reasons why they love someone, those are all excuses or lies. I don't remember everything what he said but he just said that love is just love, there are no words needed, it's just a feeling that you get. Love is like moon or something... Aish, so complicated. I don't understand...” Jung Woo frowned. “I don't think I want to ever be in love.”

I wiped my cheeks dry and lowered my eyes, my hand plucking out grass on it's own. I didn't know what to say.

“Really, I hate to see nuna so sad and always crying, you look even uglier.”

I pouted, why did I feel like I was talking with Seung Hyun?

“I am sure ahjussi would scold you. Maybe he would be sad to see you like this too. Definitely very disappointed.”

I slowly looked up.

“Well, no one is happy seeing you like this, I think they are all worried. Even nun Mary and your ohmma. And I thought they hated you...”

“Ijasika” I pinched Jung Woo's cheek, making a face at him. “Of course they don't hate me!”

“I'll tell them you cursed at me.”

“You little” I ruffled his hair. “Always on my case. You exist just to make my life miserable, right?”

“Yup” Jung Woo nodded.

“Why?”

He thought about it for a while and shrugged.

“If you don't know that means you love me” I teased.

“No WAY!!” Jung Woo yelled. “NEVER NEVER!”

“Didn't you just say that love is when you can't tell.”

“Hate is the same!” he argued.

“No way, when I hate something I can tell why. Like when you hate certain foods it's because you don't like the taste.”

“No! I will never love you!” Jung Woo blushed.

“Then why is your face turning red, hehe” I stuck out my tongue.

“Noooooo!” Jung Woo cupped his burning cheeks. “It's hot!” he whined.

“Jung Woo loves me, loves me” I made a heart with my arms above my head. “Sarangahe” I chuckled.

“Nuna is a big bully” Jung Woo mumbled before getting up and walking away with his head hanging low. “I come out and help and she... mumble mumble.”

“Thank you, Jung Woo” I whispered after him but I don't think he heard me. He was so adorable, how could anyone abandon him? Something sad tugged at my heart, should I adopt him or something? 

Disappointed?

One glance at the sky and the colors of setting sun mesmerized me. How are you Daesung? Is everything okay? Forgive me for not contacting Yeon Hee even once, I have been so very afraid. Forgive me for being like this. You have been angry, right? If I were you, I would be angry at me too. But I promise, that day by day I will learn how to smile, I will do it all over again and be happy.

A weak smile lingering on my lips, I lied on my back and closed my eyes. A deep breathe after another and finally the fresh air made me sleepy. What was I doing? I was going crazy. Wrong decision one after another. Escaping everything, even my responsibilities. I was being a brat.

After some time I woke up with a startle and sat up abruptly, something had fallen on my lap, it was a jacket. 

“Feeling any better?”

“Ah! Gabjaki” I shrieked and looked to my left spotting Dong Wook standing nearby, he was smoking.

“There is something I need to report to you.”

“What is it?” I asked cautiously.

“You want to hear, that's good but the news are bad. Taeyang and Bom, they are both gone” he said rather abruptly.

I covered my mouth with my palm my heart freezing over but my brain being quite slow on picking up the news. “What?”

“Daesung, Taeyang and Bom. The price of one fuc.king revenge” Dong Wook said bitterly. “I was against it all along. And jjang, to end up like that” Dong Wook rubbed his forehead. “I'm going crazy” he muttered.

“Bom too?” I asked carefully, it was way too unbelievable.

“By the hands of her own mother.”

“What?”

“Apparently the bullet was meant for Seung Hyun but she shielded him with her body. Dying for each other, what a great love...” he sounded sarcastic.

“How about oppa?”

“Seung Hyun is doing just fine. I got sick of his and In Pyo ahjussi's never ending bickering so I came here.”

“How about Paradise Kiss?” I wanted to know.

“It was been closed since the incident. I guess, once everything is settled they will open it again.”

“Everything...”

“Bom's mother has a lawsuit to lose, it's pretty obvious she has no chances. Bae is dead so is Sil Jang. And many of their men have been arrested. Case closed.” Dong Wook flashed a sad smile as he finished smoking his cigarette. “There are no more bloody adventures ahead.”

“But Taeyang too?” I couldn't overcome my shock. “Why him?”

“Once you get involved with gangsters those are not child's plays. There were so many people seeking revenge. Jiyong and Seung Hyun again, they knew how to clean up their mess a bit better. Like professional gangsters.”

“What if someone tries to kill them or us?”

“Not likely. There were a lot of people who wanted Bom's mother and Sil Jang out of the way. It's always the big leaders they go after, those who get rid of big leaders become heroes. Jjang too, he was a leader way too big. Sadly...”

“I can't believe... anything anymore...”

“Then, want to hear a story?”

“About what?” I looked at Dong Wook with great suspicion.

“About me” he flashed a bittersweet smile and then sat down, next to me.

“Okay, tell me.”

Once upon a time, like all the fairy tales should start, there was a sad ending.

Once upon a time there was a boy who ran away from home. In high school he met a cool classmate and they became good friends so when the boy ran away his classmate helped him. But his classmate was not an usual boy, he was a gangster. Long ago, when he was still a child his parents were killed by jealous business rivals and, stripped of his inheritance, he was left all alone in the world. Luckily one of the grandpas who worked for the family as a butler took him in and raised him. But the family was very poor and they barely could send the boy to school let alone to feed him.

So since he was very small he tried to earn all money he could, starting with selling gum and then other products on the subway. All his free time he spent working and he was very good at business just like his parents had been. Unfortunately he got involved into underworld very early and got stuck in there. After working for a loan shark he became one himself and from there advanced to be a gang leader. He was still very young at that time but due to his inherited social and business skills he became one of the most famous gang leaders of that time. Sil Jang himself was only on his way to become a big name and he constantly had cops running after him. Soon the boy raised past Sil Jang, his arch enemy, who was more than 10 years older.

So, this was the classmate the runaway boy met. He joined the gang and started working for the classmate whom everyone called Jjang, not only because he was a leader but because that was his nick name too. Eventually his goal was to rule the whole underworld and become an ultimate gangster, that's why he named himself Jjang. The boy was very surprised by how ruthless and callous his classmate could get outside school, in school he was the biggest nerd and as nice as an angel. It was his perfect alibi. 

The boy didn't mind being in a gang, he got new friends, had fun and his life was exiting though dangerous, addicting adrenaline overdose. His classmate let him live in his apartment until he could save enough money to rent his own place. After living together for a while, that's when strange things started happening. The boy grew confused of his own feelings and his classmate started acting weird too. They sort of started avoiding each other because every time they spent too much time together they were feeling way too comfortable, this again made them fee nervous.

"Hey" I slowly shifted my eyes at his face "Have you ever had a girlfriend?"
Taeyang's face stiffened a little, I could tell he didn't expect me to ask that. I don't know why I asked, I just felt curious all of a sudden.
"Well..." he rubbed the back of his neck "I had a girlfriend before."
"You did?" My eyes widened. Whoa! This was some news. "What happened?"
"Why do you want to know?"
"No reason" I answered promptly "Tell me" my whole body filled with curiosity. Oh boy, if this goes on I will become an old gossiping ahjumma like those I saw today.
"We met in high school and there was nothing special about our relationship, really. We kind of grew apart and that's all" Taeyang said casually and glanced at my leg, checking if the bleeding had stopped. Could he be more boring, he could have come up with something interesting.
"So, did you kiss?"
Taeyang raised a brow. "What do you think?"

Then one evening Jjiang came home beaten up and wounded. He had encountered an ambush on his way home. The boy offered to go and buy some medicine and band aids, meanwhile his classmate took a shower and when the boy came back home he found Jjang waiting for him in front of the TV, wearing only the towel. Luckily the boy's attention was soon consumed by the wounds and bruises and he quickly sat down to treat those. But somehow, his whole body was burning hot and kept tingling all over. His muscles got tense and his breathe grew irregular, he didn't know what to do with himself or how to be and grew restless. His classmate ordered him to stay still saying that endless shuff