Taemin sat on the bus, looking out the window, to the low drum of Korn playing through his headphones. 2 stops, he thought to himself, as the 10 minutes slowly ticked by it was finally time for him to get off he made a quick retreat, from the now overly crowded bus. He dragged his feet up the path, which now, at the end of spring was covered in cherry blossoms as they had nearly all made their yearly migration to the soil below. Nearing his destination Taemin perked up, he didn’t do this often but he wanted his parents to be proud, to see no weakness in him. As he neared the end of the path he watched as the last cherry blossom on the last tree float to the ground, then he marched on forward and through the gates. Taemin continued up the hill, only to stop and kneel down in front of his parents’ head stones.

‘Umma, Appa, how have you been?’ Taemin managed to choke out, as one tear silently slid down his porcelain cheek. He’d sworn to himself that he would no longer show any sign of weakness, so he wiped away the tear from his face and inwardly up the pain.

FLASHBACK

‘Umma!’ a 7 year old Taemin yelled as his brother brought him home from school.

‘Taemin-ah, you’re home…’ his mother started as she took her youngest son into a suffocating hug.

‘… how was your day at school?’ Taemin’s Umma continued, only leaving the embrace to stare into her son’s eyes.

‘It was great, we started learning about frogs today!’ he practically screamed at his Umma with a joyous glint in his eyes.

‘You must be really happy Taemin-ah!’ She beamed back at him.

‘Of course Umma, you know they’re my favourite animal!’

‘I know sweetheart, now go get ready for dinner, it’s almost done.’ Umma said he she stood up and headed to the kitchen.

‘Oh, and don’t forget to tell your brother!’ She said from inside the kitchen.

‘Neh, Umma!’ Taemin yelled as he ran up the stairs. Being the innocent kid he was, excitable and obedient, after changing from his uniform, and washing his hands, Taemin went to see his hyung.

*knock, knock*

‘Hyung? Can I come in?’ he asked, hands and ear pressed against the door intently listening for his hyung’s answer.

‘Yes Taeminnie, of course you can come in!’ Taemin heard from behind the door.

‘Yayayayay!’ Taemin excitedly ran into the room, jumping into his brother’s lap who was stationed in front of his desk studying, and enveloping him in a hug.

‘Hey Taeminnie, why are you so happy today?’ Heechul hyung asked, but quickly half answering the question himself.

‘Was it because of that frog boy, that you always talk so much about?’ Heechul smirked as Taemin furiously nodded.

‘Neh, hyung he asked me to be friends!’ Taemin grinned from ear to ear bearing his shiny white teeth.

‘Wow Taeminnie, you take care of your new friend okay!’ Heechul remarked, as much as he loved his little brother his exams were coming up, and being 16 wasn’t as crash hot as it appeared to be… well education wise anyway. The 9 year gap between Heechul and Taemin was due to the fact that, Taemin was an unplanned baby, but Heechul and his parents couldn’t have possibly been any happier with the new arrival in their family.

‘Of course hyung!’ Taemin replied, jumping from his brother’s lap and running for the door.

‘Oh, and hyung? You should probably get ready for dinner, it’s almost ready!’ Taemin suddenly remembered.

‘All right Taeminnie, tell Umma I’ll be down in a minute.’ as Heechul turned back to his study.

Appa, Umma, Heechul and Taemin sat around the table having typical family conversations, laughing, joking, teasing everything a picture perfect family should look-like, they were. The power cut out as 6 men dressed in black with masks stealthily crept into the house. The power cut back in and then men grabbed the family. At gunpoint the family froze, Taemin began to cry, tears streaming down his face as the headman pointed a gun to Taemin’s head.

‘No!’ Taemin’s Umma screamed.

‘Shoot me! Just please don’t harm Taemin!’ she screamed as she herself began to cry. The man turned and aimed the gun to her head.

‘Your wish, is my command.’ Without hesitating the man pulled the trigger shooting her straight through the forehead. 1 down, 3 to go, was the thought running through the executioner’s head.

‘Look, I don’t know what you want, or why you’re here, but I’ll triple any price if you just let my sons go.’ The words strongly sounded from Appa’s mouth. The executioner strode up to the man, his piercing gaze the only thing visible from behind his mask.

‘You think it’s that easy old man?’ he positioned the gun against his temple. Taemin’s Appa closed his eyes waiting for the impact.

‘Well guess what, you just got more than you bargained for. Here’s the deal. One of them we’ll let go, the other he comes with us, to be ours, our play thing, our toy, our object!’ he leaned closer as Appa cringed at the thought moments later a tear fell from his eye.

‘I’ll do it!’ Heechul yelled at the man.

‘Just leave Taemin out of this!’ Heechul screamed he struggled against the man who had pinned him to him to his chair.

‘Well, well, well looks like we have a volunteer, take it or leave it fellas… hmm… take it!’ he and his man chuckled. Suddenly they stopped and the executioner turned around and shot Appa straight through the heart three times.

‘Appa! No! Heechul hyung! No! Don’t leave me! Take me! Take me!’ Taemin screamed as he turned towards the men who were pulling Heechul towards the door.

‘Mianhe, Taeminnie…’ was all he said before the man restraining Heechul, kicked Taemin back falling unconscious as the man was finally able to close the door. By the time Taemin regained consciousness, Heechul and the men were long gone. From that day forward Taemin swore to himself, that he would never be weak. He hated the fact that he couldn’t do anything to save his most beloved family. He strove to be as strong as his body would allow him. But it was all too bad in the end that Taemin says that being gay as the ultimate weakness of it all.

END OF FLASHBACK