HORIKITA MAKI AND HER LIFE IN THE SM BUILDING

Description

Horikita Maki is pretty much an average girl but she has a really hot brother, YunHo whose in the famous boyband, DBSK. Maki and YunHo are really close siblings. One day, Maki's parents told Maki that they have arranged a marriage for her. Maki, who was still a high school student, doesn't want to get married to someone she doesn't love, decided to run away from home. She approached YunHo for help and offered to let her stay at the DBSK dorm.

 

How will Maki's life turned out? 

Foreword

Some background info:

All of the SME groups stay in the same building but at their own respective group's dorm.

 

Main characters:

Horikita Maki

Lee TaeMin

(and another character that I have yet to decide) Kim KiBum AKA Key

 

Do expect members from DBSK, SHINee and Super Junior though I have yet to decide whether they would be main characters or minor characters. :/

 

Do subscribe and comment! :D 

Comments

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haha_idk
#1
Chapter 6: Interesting......UPDATE ^-^ now pwease
Rini6189
#2
It does seem like a short chapter. Though, I've noticed that you've posted "Chapter 5" twice on the same page. That makes it look longer. Camp sounds like fun. Exploring the great outdoors is a good learning experience. Being surrounded by nature is a good escape from the stress of everyday urban/city life. It's a nice change of scenery. I hope you'll have fun. <br />
<br />
Jonghyun really is not leaving Maki with much of a choice in the matter by blackmailing her. None of the SHINee members (except Key) seem to be aware that she's not actually their maid. At least Key is the only one suspecting her. Leaving her alone with Taemin may not be a good thing depending on how much trouble he'll be for her. When Yunho finds out, I don't think he'll be happy finding out how they've been treating her. He might try to clear things up. Then everybody would be in on a secret to keep her from being found out by the higher-ups.
enuj454
#3
BUM BUM BUM! I wonder how Maki will handle Jonghyun's misguided blackmail. And what Yunho will do to stop it!! If he even finds out that is lol. Another fun chapter from you~ Reading your stories is something I always look forward to :P
butterfly555 #4
ah i c and omg i hope yunho oppa save her
Rini6189
#5
Ch. 5 mistakes:<br />
<br />
1. “NEW MAID?!” the other 4 members exclaimed.<br />
Correction: "NEW MAID?!" The other four members exclaimed.<br />
<br />
2. I don’t feel like telling Maki that I’m his soon-to-be groom and I think it would nice to play tricks on Maki, make life difficult for her when she’s in the SHINee dorm, and besides she really slow, it would be fun!<br />
Correction: I don't feel like telling Maki that I'm her soon-to-be groom and I think it would be nice to play tricks on Maki and make life miserable for her when she's in the SHINee dorm, and besides, she's really slow. It would be fun!<br />
<br />
3. Erm… well, I wanted to explain all this to you guys but you all were so excited and kept cutting into my words so I didn’t had a chance to confess about all these. <br />
Correction: Erm... Well, I wanted to explain all this to you guys, but you all were so excited and kept cutting into my words, so I didn't have a chance to confess about all these.<br />
<br />
4. Don’t you dare to that on me Onew! <br />
Correction: Don't you dare do that to me, Onew!<br />
<br />
5. He deepen the kiss and tried to insert his tongue into my mouth but I didn’t not co-operate. <br />
Correction: He deepened the kiss and tried to insert his tongue into my mouth, but I didn't cooperate.<br />
<br />
6. However, I managed to escape by bitting on his lips really hard with my sharp teeth. <br />
Correction: However, I managed to escape by biting his lips really hard with my sharp teeth.<br />
<br />
7. I guess it probably hurt ‘cause he removed his hands from his shirt and touching his lips.<br />
Correction: I guess it probably hurt 'cause he removed his hands from my shirt and touched his lips.<br />
<br />
8. All I can say is I pity whoever who is gonna be SHINee’s maid. <br />
Correction: All I can say is I pity whoever is gonna be SHINee's maid.
Rini6189
#6
Taemin is so cold towards her. Key probably wants to make life hell for her because of what he had to eventually go through under his father's orders. That way, making it an unpleasant experience to be under the same roof as him could be his escape route to avoid the arranged marriage so that Maki wouldn't agree getting married to him from seeing the kind of person he is, which she already disapproves herself. It's predictable what Onew would do considering how he's portrayed here. Good thing that Maki managed to escape his grasp. It may have been better off for her to face Key than Onew. At least Key isn't so touchy. Since Key and Maki have the same mindset about the arranged marriage, there's the chance that they could work toward an agreement and help each other out in a way. I wonder how she'd fare being their "assumed" maid and whether there's a way out of that situation. I'm anticipating an encounter between DBSK and SHINee later. I'm all right with you not writing rated scenes because I don't think I'd like reading that in this story. It gives me an "iffy" feeling. I wasn't drawn to this fic at first because of the content. It's the story's plotline that's got me interested. I appreciate reading something that builds up on the plot rather focusing on the content. :) I like it just the way it is now that you're writing it. <br />
<br />
Rini6189
#7
Here are the mistakes that I've found in Chapter Four:<br />
<br />
1. I walked into the room and lie down next to the person on the bed I’m sleeping.<br />
Correction: I walked into the room and lied down next to the person on the bed and fell asleep.<br />
* Since you begin this sentence in past tense, you'd want to keep the consistency by keeping the whole sentence in past tense (the actions).<br />
<br />
2. Before leaving the dorm, oppa gave me a set of keys to the dorm and some money for me to buy new clothes ‘cause I only brought 5 sets of clothes with me.<br />
* "Oppa" should be capitalized since it's like a name that refers to someone (i.e. Dad, Mom, etc.). To be gramatically correct, numbers are to be spelled out. (5 = five)<br />
<br />
3. Ok, I’m not gonna stay in here alone, doing nothing in this dorm anymore, I shall go to some shopping mall and shop for new clothes with the money oppa gave me!<br />
Correction: Ok, I'm not gonna stay in here alone doing nothing in this dorm anymore. I shall go to some shopping mall and shop for new clothes with the money Oppa gave me!<br />
* The phrases are best written as separate sentences since they're referring to completely different topics.<br />
<br />
4. I feeling kinda happy now that I have escaped from that marriage, left the house, my parents can no longer control me.<br />
Correction: I'm feeling kinda happy now that I have escaped from that arranged marriage and left the house. My parents can no longer control me.<br />
<br />
5. The lift reached the 12thfloor and I began to walk to the SHINee dorm, I saw this girl standing in front of the SHINee dorm.<br />
Correction: The lift reached the twelfth floor and I began to walk to the SHINee dorm. I saw this girl standing in front of the SHINee dorm.<br />
<br />
6. I wanted to tell him that I wasn’t a maid but he opened the door and dragged me in the room. <br />
Correction: I wanted to tell him that I'm not a maid, but he opened the door and dragged me into the room.<br />
* A personal trait or the person's current position should be described in present tense.<br />
<br />
Rini6189
#8
This may be a boring Chapter Four, but it's helping to move the plot along. xD Jaejoong had better be running or he'll get eaten alive. Though, it's just a really bad nightmare. Now the rest of the DBSK members will have to try to keep Maki a secret from their manager and maybe the others. It's too late now that Taemin has encountered her in the hallway. She could be in the worst position after Taemin mistook her for a maid. Onew being lecherous is just plain creepy. Hopefully Maki would be careful to stay clear of him. It seems that will have to go with it in order to avoid being found out.<br />
<br />
<br />
RayGasan #9
I honestly thought Taemin was going to be her soon-to-be-groom...<br />
And more rated scene to come?<br />
I don't know if I'm gonna like that but it's still a good story. Keep it up. And hopefully with less of rated scene.<br />
Ahahahaha...<br />
xx
yaymaki #10
@ makichan: haha thanks! But I'm kinda having a writer's block now :/<br />
@ butterfly555: Honestly I myself have no idea how the story will go haha we'll see what will happen when the story progresses :) <br />
@ Forbidden: haha yes I will try my best and continue to update this fic :)<br />
@ enuj454: haha thanks for your constant support! :D you're always there to give me motivation to update my fics!