What. The. ing. H*ll.

What is she thinking?!

There is the answer: she isn't. 

I growl and shove past my group members. One calls out a question about her, but I ignore him. Without a pause, I walk out of our dorm building and run to her place, a small home that was around a mile from our place.

I passed by it everyday on my jogs--my morning jog, afternoon jog, evening jog, random jog, angily-storming-out-the-dorm-to-vent jog--every single jog and that was where I had met her. I was a trainee then. It had started with two simple sentences.

You run here every morning. Must be dedicated. 

I had stared at her blankly, drawing in breaths as I paused in my jog, staring at her, and though I thought about answering her, I didn't. At least not then.

Every morning, I would see her water her plants and talk to her garden with the most gentle expression. In the afternoons, she would check the mail and go in and on the way back, I would see her sitting underneath the large oak tree in her yard, writing something under its shade, talking to her plants, relaxing under the shade. In the evenings, I would see her through her windows--and no, I was not looking on purpose--washing dishes, cleaning, folding laundry, studying, reading, writing, doing homework. Just anything and everything.

What had started everything though, was that one time. Just once, she had fallen asleep under that tree and I could have passed her, ignored her, not cared about her during that one evening jog. 

I was glad I didn't.

I called over to her.

Hey. You. Wake up. If you don't, you'll catch a cold.

She blinked, slowly at first, then faster as if realizing that she wasn't in her home or her bed. She rubbed her eyes and yawned. God that was so cute. And I slapped myself mentally at the thought. She looked at me and finally recognizing what had happened, she smiled.

Thanks.

This time I answered.

You're welcome.

That was how it had all started. 

We hadn't gone out right off the bat.

We weren't even comfortable right off the bat.

She was nervous, jittery, like a mouse really. She talked with me gently, comfortably, but I could tell that I made her nervous. She jumped when I made a sudden movement, backed up when I got close, looked away when I was staring at her.

I was stiff, too self-conscious. I would always be too cautious as if anything would be a bother. Tea? No thanks. Cake? No really, you just eat it. Coming in for dinner? No no. Don't trouble yourself. A date with your friend? H*ll no.

And there went our first kiss. Before the confession. With me jealous and upset. With her completely confused and...fainted. In front of her home, the gate where she always leaned when she talked to me the only thing between us. And a locked front door. Great. 

But that was before.

It was the beginning, the prologue, the start, at first.

I struck my head to now, where I am, what has happened, the event happening currently.

Why is she suddenly breaking up with me?

We love each other. 

Don't we?

I slow my pace, suddenly unsure before I pick up the pace once again.

I'll have to find out and as I run, I remember the multiple times we would whisper the three words to each other with pink cheeks and thumping hearts.

I love you.

God, just what is going wrong?