It’s been 5^th day since our love meet the death way. The seconds when I said we just can’t work thing out is the time when I’m sure this heart of mine which it’s locked only for you will missing you so badly.

I passed a day quietly but without passed the time thinking about you. This heart injured for a long time but then it’s my decision because I know this is the thing that supposed to do. Or should I say this shouldn’t start this at the first place?

A day after we fought and ended with breaking apart for multiple times, is our anniversary and the day after is your birthday. I laughed myself as I realize how stupid I am.

I looked at the stack of money that I saved to buy a special gift for you. I took it and think ‘did I just break my own plan with this discord?’

I grip it tightly.

‘What used this mount of money now when I prepared it for buy you a ring as your birthday present?’ a couple ring that will bind us together, as a sign that you’re mine.

How can I holding back my tears at that time? But still, in the end this is the best for you.

Sometimes, I’ll stop and starring at some spot, corner of my room, my bed, where I used to call you there. To hearing your voice, the best tone for me. I don’t know how happy my face at that time, all I know is just hearing your voice then I’ll be more than happy. But now, it’s only tears that visible on my eyes.

I’m praying to the God so you’ll be protected.

I’m praying to the God so you’ll live happily.

I’m praying to the God so you’ll get your perfect life.

I know deep inside this heart that love you so much that the right person is not me but someone who already with you for two years.

We can’t keep this relationship of sin longer. I know you’re really hate me when I said this is a sin even though this is the fact, but I can’t let myself drag you to the black hole of sin.

It’s not a love when I let you walked in the wrong way with me.

It’s not a love when I take you to be a sinner and I use our love as a motive.

It’s not a love too when I keep hurting you, the one I love.

But then, a contrary thing that we have to face is the one that might bring you suffer a lot more than today.

It’s wrecking my brain, eat me alive, slowly. I protecting you with kill our 7 month love.

I know it’s nothing compared to your 2 years of love with that person, but this feeling is buried deep inside of me till I don’t know how to dig it and take it out, hoping it’ll less the pain I had.

It’s just 5 day without you, what if 6, 7, or maybe a month without you? I don’t want to think a year without you because at that time I might die.

Please keep smiling, widely and nicely like the pic that u sent to me. This is the only medicine I had to endure this pain.

I’m out. Goodnight, yeoboo.

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