Sehun did end up going grocery shopping that day with Kyungsoo. And it wasn’t half bad. It took his mind off of things. Kyungsoo even bought him a melona bar*.

            After dropping off the groceries at the dorm, they went to the nearest playground and sat on the swings while their ice cream.

            “Just because I bought you ice cream this time doesn’t mean I’m always going to buy it for you, okay?”

            “That’s what you said last time too, hyung.”

            Kyungsoo pushed Sehun, but it was affectionate. They laughed.

            “Hyung?”

            “Hm?”

            “Do you think Luhan hyung is going to be okay?”

            Kyungsoo was silent. And Sehun patiently waited.

            “Luhan’s going to make it.”

            Sehun looked at him sideways.

            “How do you know, hyung?”

            “I just do. It’s a gut feeling.”

            “Why?”

            “I don’t know. Maybe because all Luhan did back before we debuted was hang out with you. You guys were always together. I can’t see one of you without the other. He’ll come back for you, Sehun-ah; he definitely will.”

            Come back for me…

            It was the exact same thing Joonmyun had said earlier.

            But still, Sehun was worried.

            They spent the night all curled up together in the living room. None of them wanted to be separated.

            Sehun ended up between Yixing and Chanyeol on the floor. Wu Fan was occupying the couch and they let him stay there. No one would be able to make him move anyway. Except maybe Tao. And Tao was already asleep on the armchair, wrapped in a pink blanket. Thus, Wu Fan stayed on the couch.

            Yixing rolled around to face Sehun.

            “You okay?”

            “Hm? Yeah, I’m fine, hyung. Well, I guess.”

            Yixing looked into his eyes.

            “I’ll be there for you when…you know…” Yixing looked a little uncomfortable, like he did when he couldn’t figure out how to say something in Korean.

            Sehun was gratified. Yixing didn’t speak much, but when he did, he made sure to make his words count.

            Sehun didn’t know how to tell Yixing that that had been what he needed, so he just said, “Thanks, hyung.”

            Yixing nodded, his eyelids fluttering shut. The next minute, he was fast asleep, the blanket pulled up to his chin.

            Sehun covered himself with his own blanket, feeling sleep taking him in its grasp.

            It was dark. Pitch black. Wherever he looked, it all was the same empty darkness. He blinked, but he could barely tell he was blinking, because there was no difference between when his eyes were closed and when they were open. He reached out, yearning for something to trigger one of his senses.

            And suddenly, someone else was there.

            Luhan. Lying on the ground, curled up.

            Sehun had never seen Luhan look so peaceful before. Not even when he was sleeping.

            And Luhan seemed to be sleeping now, his eyes closed, and his mouth in that funny half-smile.

            Then Sehun froze. Something was wrong. Luhan was too peaceful. Too…still. Cold. Unmoving.

            Oh God.

            Oh my God.

            Sehun lurched forward and reached out to shake Luhan awake, but he knew deep inside that his efforts would not be rewarded. He felt his insides turn to ice.

            “Luhan hyung. Luhan hyung! Hyung!!”

            The last word was both a scream and a sob. Luhan’s skin was freezing. It wasn’t living.

            Sehun drew back from the body.

            Because that was what it was. A body.

            Sehun screamed.

            “Sehun-ah! Sehun-ah! Wake up! It was just a dream**, Sehun-ah. Calm down!”

            Jongin’s yells did little to calm Sehun, but they did wake him up. Sehun realized that he was sobbing, but he didn’t care.

            “Luhan hyung was dead. I saw his body. He was cold. Cold. He was dead. He wasn’t living. He was dead. Dead. He was dead.” Sehun’s teeth were chattering, tears pouring down his cheeks.

            Jongin grasped the younger’s shoulders firmly and shook him.

            “Sehun! Calm down! It was a dream. It’s not real. It’s okay. Everything’s okay.”

            But Sehun couldn’t stop the sobs that racked his body.

            Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead.

            Luhan had been dead.

            Sehun allowed Jongin to hold him until the sobs subsided, leaving him whimpering. He snuffled pitifully into the elder’s shirt, suddenly ashamed of his weakness.

            Then he realized that Jongin was crying too. And so were all the other members. They all huddled together, putting their arms around each other, comforting one another.

            This is a real family, Sehun thought, I trust these people more than anything in the world.

            They arrived at the hospital at 8:00 A.M., because the hospital had phoned earlier to tell them that 8:00was about the time the surgery results would come out.

            The eleven of them sat in the waiting room silently. Their managers hadn’t arrived yet, and neither had the doctor with the surgery results.

            The suspense of not knowing was killing Sehun.

            Their managers were only four minutes late. The results were twenty.

            An exhausted looking doctor entered the waiting room with a thick stack of papers in his arms.

            “He’s alive.”

            They all jumped up at once, cheering and celebrating. Luhan had made it. For a second, everything was okay.

            “But he will require extensive bed rest. No physical activity. Absolutely none, until further notice. For someone so young, he’s gone through a lot of surgeries. He needs to be careful.” The doctor paused. Then, “He should be sleeping right now, but I think it’s okay if you go see him. He’s in the last room down that hallway.”

            Sehun ran all the way down the hall to Luhan’s room. He flung the door open, eager to see him.

            The room was surprisingly large and spacious, occupied by a single bed, a table, and a couch. There were also two armchairs, but that was the extent of the decoration.

            Everything was so white. The walls, the furniture, the ceiling…everything.

            Luhan lay on the bed, the blankets half covering his chest. His hands were folded over the covers, on top of his belly. His angelic, calm face almost blended into the white sheets that surrounded him. In a different setting, the paleness of his face would have been very pronounced, but right now, it didn’t look as alarming as it should have.

            But it was alarming to Sehun. There was almost no color in his face. This wasn’t the Luhan that Sehun remembered. The Luhan Sehun knew always had a rosy glow in his cheeks; he flushed easily, usually from laughing.

            Sehun sank down on the edge of the bed and took one of Luhan’s hands in both of his.

            “Luhan hyung?”

            Luhan didn’t stir.

            “He may be asleep for a while. Don’t be too disappointed if he doesn’t wake.” Sehun heard the doctor talking to the other members, but he didn’t pay too much attention. If Luhan were to wake up, it would be for him.

Sehun felt a hand on his right shoulder, but he didn’t move from his position on Luhan’s bed. He looked up to see Chanyeol standing next to him. His eyes were sad.

“Sehun-ah, you heard the doctor. Luhan probably won’t wake up until tomorrow, or at least a couple of hours. Let’s leave for today. We’ll come back tomorrow, I promise.”

            Sehun shook his head vehemently. He was not leaving. End of story.

            “Sehun-ah, don’t be like this. You’re not the only one who’s hurting.” Minseok’s words cut through Sehun like a knife. For a second, he was angry, but when he looked up, the pain in Minseok’s expression made it impossible for him to be mad.

            Yixing put his hand on Sehun’s other shoulder.

            “We should leave,” he said quietly. Sehun wanted to resist, but he knew that the elder was right.

            He stood up and place Luhan’s hand back where it had been before. Joonmyun was watching him, and had reached out to put his arm around the younger when Luhan scrunched his nose up in his sleep.

            Sehun felt his heart tear a little. Luhan’s nose-scrunch wasn’t something he could get enough of. He did it right before he woke up.

            Wait.

            He scrunches his nose right before he wakes up.

            He scrunched his nose.

            Is he going to wake up?

            In a flash, Sehun was next to Luhan again, hoping that the elder would wake up. He didn’t realize that his face was right above Luhan’s until Luhan opened his eyes and yelled in surprise. Sehun jerked back; he hadn’t been expecting the yell.

            Luhan looked at him reproachfully.

            “Yah! Oh Sehun! Why would you put your face that close? Giving me a heart attack the second I wake up…”

            Sehun bound forward and tackled him into a bear hug.

            “You’re awake!”

            “Well of course I’m awake. What did you expect? Why am I in a hospital? And why are all of you looking at me like I died or something?”

            Wu Fan exchanged glances with Joonmyun.

            “You were in a surgery all night.”

            “I was what.”

            “Surgery. All night.” Wu Fan enunciated his words slowly.

            “What do you mean–wait…oh…okay. I remember now.”

            Luhan twisted his fingers together, looking down at them. When he turned his head, Sehun saw something on his scalp that definitely had not been there.

            There was a thick, jagged cut on Luhan’s head, partially covered by his hair. It was new; it had not yet scabbed. Sehun was wondering if Luhan knew it was there when Luhan suddenly reached up and lightly prodded the wound with his right pointer finger. The one with the ring.

            Our ring.

            “What is that on my head?”

            They were all silent.

            “Well, what is it?”

            The doctor cleared his throat. “It’s the location of the incision we made in order to observe the tumor. Don’t worry, it will heal just fine on its own. Your hair will cover it, so there is nothing to worry about.”
            Luhan paused.

            “What happened to the other scar I already had?”  

            Other scar?

            “I’m assuming you’re talking about your scar from your first surgery. It’s still there, but not visible at the moment, due to the new incision.”

            Oh. That scar.

            Sehun had never seen the scar, but he didn’t regret it. He hated seeing things that were reminders of Luhan’s pain.

            Luhan was silent again. He looked so lost and confused that Sehun wanted to wrap his arms around him. Comfort him. Tell him everything was going to be okay. Even if it wasn’t.

            “So the tumor is gone?”

            “No. We couldn’t remove it, because it is malignant. We will be able to–“

            “It’s malignant?”

            Luhan sounded panicked.

            “There is no need to panic–“

            “But it’s malignant!”

            Luhan’s eyes were huge and filled with fear. Before he could stop himself, Sehun wrapped his arms around the elder, trying to calm him. Luhan didn’t respond, his eyes wide and scared.

            “How fast is it growing?”

            “I–“

            “How fast?!”

            The doctor hesitated.

            “We’re not sure, but we couldn’t remove it. The only way we might be able to cure it is through chemotherapy. It will be painful.”

            “I know.”

            “How many years did you go through chemotherapy?”

            “I didn’t go through chemotherapy.”

            No, Sehun thought, you watched your ex-girlfriend go through it. And she died.

            The doctor looked like he was going to ask, but decided against it at the last second.

            “We will begin you on chemotherapy tomorrow,” he said before leaving. The door shut behind him with a click.

            Luhan buried his head in Sehun’s chest.

            “Sehun-ah? Why are you staring off like that?”

            Jongin’s voice brought Sehun back to the present. Five pairs of eyes were looking curiously at him.

            Sehun flushed. He hadn’t realized that he had been spacing out long enough to get his hyungs’ attention.

            “We should leave soon. Visiting hours are over.” Joonmyun stood and pushed his chair in. Jongin, Kyungsoo, and Sehun were a little slower than their leader, but they eventually emptied their seats.

            The ride back home was almost silent. Chanyeol kept his hands on the wheel, looking straight ahead at the road. He finally broke the silence after ten uncomfortable minutes.

            “Sehun-ah, are you okay?”

            “What? Oh, I’m fine.”

            “You sure?”

            “Yeah.”

            Sehun wanted to give longer answers, but the words weren’t coming to him, so he stayed silent. Chanyeol seemed to sense that right now wasn’t the best time to question the younger.

            Chanyeol dropped Sehun off in front of his dilapidated house that was somehow still standing. Sehun waved until the car was out of sight and entered through the front door. He climbed the stairs gingerly to the 2^nd floor, stopping by the opened room to put the letter back in its place on the table. Then he went to his bedroom, one of the many closed doors on the floor. He slowly lay down in bed, the locket clutched in his hand.

*Melona Bar: http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2ycs5GSnQ1rur0fro1_500.jpg

**Just a Dream by Nelly (cover by Sam Tsui and Christina Grimmie)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2RA0vsZXf8

A/N: omg is anyone else SUPER JEALOUS OF THE EXOTICS THAT WERE AT DISNEYLAND

OMFG

SO JEALOUS

:|

anyway, thanks for reading XD

I LOVE ALL OF YOU GUYS :"""DDDDDDD

and HIIII to my followers :D

probably no update tomorrow..SORRY GUYS 

too much chemistry homework :|