[A/N: Hai my loved ones! I've been away for a while, I'm sorry. I'm still trying to adjust with my work schedule and I've kind of gotten addicted to a RP. But I'll never leave this story. I'll answer to comments in the next chapter. I'm sorry if this is really short. Over and out]

Your POV

I could hear my heart pound when I stepped toward the hospital room. I tried to take deep breaths as I was getting closer and closer. Thankfully my childhood had taught me to act. I always pretended to be okay because I didn’t want my parents to know anything about my problems. I was pretty sure I could pull this off .

I opened the door and held a smile on my face. I saw Chanyeol sitting up again and I shook my head. This time I sat on the chair instead of his hospital bed. I looked around the room, trying to adjust myself with the situation. Lay was watching me with his eyes narrowed, I guess he saw right through me, yet he didn’t mention it. Kai was curiously observing everything. Chanyeol tried to reach out for me but I didn’t move from my spot. After seeing Chanyeol frowning, I couldn’t look at him anymore. I felt like my insides were torn apart and acid was being poured on them. My body ached to be closer to him, to shield him from danger, to never leave his side until he’s better, but I couldn’t.

The same way I couldn’t be close to Kai and Lay anymore. It had to be done.

The first few days were full of torture. No matter where I went, there was a magnetic force pulling me to people I shouldn’t be pulled to. I slipped a few times, squeezing Chanyeol’s hand a few times or giving Lay a morning hug, but overall I did just fine.

My part of the plan went well, but the unpredicted part of it almost ruined it all. Chanyeol wouldn’t stop asking why can’t he have chats in my room like we used to have, Lay was asking me all kinds of weird questions and Kai completely ignored me.

It’s been two weeks now. The guys don’t visit anymore. They tired at first, but gave up after a few days. They told me that I act like I suddenly started to secretly hate them, or something along the lines. As soon as they left my sight, I collapsed emotionally and physically and it seemed that all the dimensions collapsed as well. But I did put on quite an act. It’s for the best. Better for everyone this way.

It was Saturday night, it was raining outside. I sat on my bed and sighed, I felt so empty. I wonder how long will it take for me to recover, to move on?

Knock-knock.

The door opened and Chanyeol peeked in.

„Hey there! What are you doing?“

I tried to be as emotionless as I could

„I’m reading the news.“

He let himself in.

„Can I join?“

„No. You’ll only distract me.“

„W-why? I won’t! I never have!“

The hurt in Chanyeol’s voice almost made me give in.

„As I was trying to say, I’m busy.“

„Come on, we always do this, why are you being like this because of ing news?“

„Could you leave, please?“

„What is wrong with you!? What happened? You’ve changed ever since the accident.“

„LEAVE!“

That’s the last time I saw Chanyeol. The way he left my room that day... It keeps replaying in my head. I ruffled my hair in angst and growled. I was so tired of all the sleepless nights and all the tears. I felt like a depressed teenager or Bella Swan, I wanted the feeling to go away so bad.

Sometimes I’d find comfort in Luhan’s embrace, I’d watch TV in his arms for hours. But it never filled the emptiness in me.

I stood up to walk to the balcony. The very place where Sehun told me off. I laughed at the memory, but my face fell, when other bitter memories took over my mind.

I rested my head on Lay’s shoulder. I haven’t gotten any sleep these days. It’s pretty difficult with Kai basically hating me and the disappoint on Chanyeol’s face. I was so tired, I wanted it to be over.

„Aren’t you supposed to ignore me?“ I heard him ask. I looked up to him, clearly confused. But it suddenly hit me – I had forgotten my self made laws. I was too numb to react and Lay did it instead.

„Forget about it.“ He said. „I can’t force you to do anything. I’m not going to get in an accident just for you to like me again.“

I stood there like a rock as I watched him leave.

That was the last time I saw Lay.

Everything was a total mess. Everyone were a total mess. I felt guilty.

I would have fallen even deeper into my depressing thoughts, but I heard the doorbell ring.

„Luhan! Someone’s at the door!“ I yelled but heard no answer.

„Luhan!!!!!“ I tried again but had to admit defeat and answered the door myself. My mouth fell open as the uninvited guest marched right in.