I was sitting in front of my table. I sigh.

How can I weight less? 'Dieting.' Of course but how? 'Eat less & make more sports.' If you say so.

I stand up & take a little noticebook from my shelf. A Calender without the years & dates on. Perfect. 'Now you have to begin.' First I have to make a plan. 'Ok, I dictate you wrote.' Of course.

In the first page stand: Satori we have targets. Little targets. But we can make it.

I sit there watch it. "We..." I whisper. 'Yes, you & me.' "..." More than 10 minutes was I locking at it but then I sigh & continue.

On the second page page stand: Everyday never eat more then 500 kcal & eat at least 1 apple.

No chocolate & sweet anymore.

Never eat after sports.

Make more sports.

Write when you what & why eat. EVERTHING!

Throw up ist great, life without.

Only eat when someone is force you.

Never eat alone.

Never eat anything that's bigger then your palm.

& save your ing money.

"So..." I put the Pen besides & close the noticebook. It's almost 8:13 PM. Where is mother? She is never going out.

'She's swimming & burn a lot Calories.'

"Ah, yes."

'Even this fat cow make sports why don't you get out & run alittle?'

"I can't. It's to late." '

You only don't want to! You like it to be fat!'

"I CAN'T!" Now I shout & stand up. "Is everthing okay?" My sister asked. She was sitting in front of the TV since hours. "Yes, it was a movie." I'm lying. I'm lying all the time. Every little . 'Because you like it & life with it.' "...maybe."

I jump into my bed, put my earphones on & while listening Kyo's voice I put my hand on my stomach. I sigh.

"Why?" 'Yes, why?'