This Chapter is the continuation of the last chapter and this is still a flashback... so i hope you won't be confuse...

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In my head there are no other options on how to get my L-hyung back. I can't think of anything and it's taking away my sanity slowly. That is why, even though I found it as a disgusting method, I tried to do it. I only want my lover back. Why can't they realize that they are slowly killing me with all the actings and deceptions that they made? Seducing him was the last resort that I can think of. Yes, I tried to seduce him but it didn't work...Am I that invisible to him now?

The first time I tried to seduce him, I had came out wearing only a night shirt that ended just at my thighs. I had walked into the kitchen from just awakening and went about my business without looking at L, though I watched his every move from the corner  of my eye. I caught him staring at me from over his iPad—another script for his drama—and smirked inside as his eyes roamed over my body. I opened a cabinet and reached up to grab a glass, showing even more of my thighs. I heard his slow intake of breath and cheered.

The chair screeched back and soon his warm body was pressed up against mine, his pressing against his pants. Yet he didn't push me against the counter, nor did he wrap his arms around me and begin kissing me. Instead, he reached up and handed me the glass out of my reach and then retreated back to the table. I tried not to cry, I tried not to let my emotions run openly across my face, but I failed miserably and soon fled the kitchen. I quickly dressed and went to the practice room - my only place of refuge for the past months, so distraught that I didn't say goodbye to the other members or even eat my breakfast. It didn't bother me that I would wait for another 5 hours before our practise would start. That way I can clear my head and try to patch up my crumbling mask that was breaking into pieces because of the emotional turmoil that I am experiencing.

The second time I wore the costume for my coming-of-age ceremony and tried to come up with some excuse for modelling it. I ended up telling L that I want to perform in our concert using that kind of costume again and I wanted his approval. I saw his eyes rove over me taking in every crevice of my body from over his camera, but even as his breath hitched, he turned away, muttering something about me looking like a . A sob caught in my throat and I slowly retreated from his room and went directly to the living room. I curled up on the couch and tried to distract my thoughts by mindlessly watching the television, but it didn't work. Everything I saw reminded me of L and how much he had changed for no apparent reason.

L came out of his room two hours later; I was still curled up on the couch, trying my best not to shed any tears for him again. It seems that fate was really against me that time because it was only the two of us that was left on our dorm. He stopped and glanced at me, he could see I had been crying and was upset so he walked towards me. He leaned against the side of the couch, looming over me and gave an annoyed sigh.

"What's wrong Sungjong?" He asked flatly.

"What did I do wrong?" I whispered back, not taking my eyes off the television.

That confused him. "What are you talking about?"

I finally turned towards him, tilting my head up to stare into his dark brown eyes. His never-ending orbs that seems to swallow me whole as I stare on it. God, how I loved those eyes… "What did I do wrong? What did I do to make you so mad o-or annoyed? Why are you mad at me?"

"I don't have time for this." He growled, "I don't have time to listen to your pathetic whining and complaining." I knew he was mad, I could see it in his eyes.

"You never have time!" I protested.

"Because one of us actually works around here. I have a full-packed schedule, remember!" He roared.

I felt tears pricking my eyes, how could he be so mean to me? Of course I worked around here! How could he think not? I put hundreds of hours into my job. "That's not true."

"I've got to meet with our producer and I don't have time for you to be feeling sorry for yourself and whining to me about your problems." He muttered angrily. Then he strode through the door, slamming it harshly behind him and leaving me alone to cry on the couch.

Sunggyu-hyung was the first to notice something was wrong. He pulled me aside when I stumbled over the dance choreography that we are currently working on. I really thought that he's going to get mad at me and bite my head off for having so many mistakes during our practise but I was wrong. Instead of shouting at me, he pulled me away from the members, guided me to the corner of our practice room and sat me down across from him. "Jongie, what's wrong?"

So I told him. I told him everything that had transpired the past couple days, how L-hyung no longer had with me and how I thought he may be cheating on me. As I spoke, Sunggyu-hyung's face darkened with anger and disappointment, but I begged him not to harm L or even approach him and confront him about it. I don't want to be the reason for INFINITE to disband. Moreover, I don't want to be the reason for the members to fight wih each other. Thankfully, Sunggyu-hyung agreed, but resentfully and decided I needed to stay away for our dorm and from my lover for a couple of days.  He asked our manager to give me some few days to rest and to be away from L. That's why I ended up living in our old dorm with Soryong-hyung and Daeryong-hyung. What a mistake that was. I was so upset that I forgot to tell L and when I came back three days later, I found him so enraged that he looked like he was possessed by some spirit. Yes, he was possessed not by any other spirit but the spirit of alcohol. He was drunk the time I returned at our dorm and again, it was the only me and a drunk L present in our dorm that time.

He was so close to me I could smell the beer on his breath and I trembled at the wild look in his eyes. "Where the hell have you been?" He rasped.

"I-I-I—"

He grabbed my shirt and pushed me against the door, "WHERE?" He yelled.

"At our old dorm! Sunggyu-hyung suggested that I should sleep there for a couple days."

L laughed and took a step back, he never did look drunk, even when he was wasted. "Soryong-hyung and Daeryong-hyung's…you sleeping with them Jongie?"

"No!" I cried, "He thought I should give you a couple days…"

"A couple days huh?" He smacked me across the face and I cried out. "You belong to me, Jongie, and you will never spend the night at their house again even if that old hamster told you." He hissed and then kissing me possessively, he bit my lip hard enough to make me bleed.

"But L!" I cried through my now painfully bloody lips.

He threw me to the ground and stood over me, "I said never Sungjongie, I wouldn't want to hurt Soryong and Daeryong or even Sunggyu now would I?" He knelt down beside me and tracing my bleeding lips, he kissed me so tenderly it seemed impossible he would ever hit me though he just did.

"I wouldn't want to hurt you either. You're mine and don't forget it." Then he left, back to his room. I heard the door slam shut and waited a couple minutes before curling into a ball and crying. I'd have a bruise there tomorrow, no doubt about that, and L probably wouldn't even remember what he had done.

And I was right. I awoke that morning and greeted L as I did every day, with so much enthusiasm it could kill someone, but all he did was to give me his infamous deadpan expression not even noticing the blue and black bruise that he has given me that night before. It was Sungyeol-hyung who was the other person present aside from L that noticed the nasty bruise on my face. "Yah, Lee Sungjong, wha'd you do this time? Run into a wall?" 

I just smiled and bobbed my head, laughing at how clumsy I could be sometimes and keeping the hurt out of my eyes. I was away for three days and this is how they greeted me as I return. And honestly, that was the first time I was ever happy that L wasn't touching me, I would've flinched if he had approached me then. I quickly grabbed something to eat and ran out of the dorm with a quick yell to L and Sungyeol that I am going to meet my younger brother for some important things before I join them for our practise. But that wasn't true, I was leaving two hours too early…the truth was I needed to get away from L before he figured out what really happened to me.

No such luck at the practice room though. I tried to cover up my large bruise as well as possible, but Sunggyu-hyung and our managers saw through it almost immediately. I hesitantly told them that L and I had gotten into an argument because I forgot to tell him where I was and my own clumsiness had caused me to trip over something and fall into the table. I knew they were suspicious, but they let it pass without another comment. Maybe they were blaming themselves because they prefer not to tell L of my whereabouts for the whole time. But I didn't miss that disappointment and the worried look of our leader. I know that he's going to confront me about what really transpired the night before.

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I hope that you will like this update.

Sorry for not updating sooner. I am really busy.

deliberatemistake this is for you. I am so touch with the message that you've sent me yesterday...

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bye!!!