So, First question of today. Joon, what is your relationship like with the other members?" I wasn't sure exactly what to say. I'm not supposed to lie, but I can't tell the world what's happened. It's best to lie then, just this once.

"Well, we are really just big family." I said, giving the MCs my trademark smile. It seemed to work. They cooed and gave motherly smiles, I thought I would be safe after that. But I thought wrong. "So what about with individual members?" I swear the world is trying to break me today.

"Seungho and G.O. are good Hyungs, we do argue sometimes but what family doesn't? And Cheongdung and our Maknae are good Dongsaengs too, at our dorm it's like there are five brothers!" The MCs gave motherly smiles again, I hope they'll let me escape now. It was embarrassing enough, I could see Mir's shoulders visibly drop at me saying we're brothers and avoiding his name.

The MCs asked a Seungho a few questions about being the leader and the oldest, G.O. about his moustache and Cheondung about how he felt being added to the group later and about his sister, then it was Mir's turn. My heart was pounding, in fear of what he might say, or be asked.

"Mir, we haven't heard much about your feelings about the rest of the MBLAQ members." Today officially could not be more against me.

Mir looked at me before quickly shifting his eyes to the others, "Like the Hyungs said, we're a great big family."

The MCs looked at him concerned, they were expecting a hyper Mir, not this serious, sad looking one. 

"Are you okay?" They asked him, I felt myself cross my fingers in hope he wouldn't burst like he did with me. I think Mir noticed.

"Just a little tired from being too hyper at dance practice, I'm okay." He said forcing a smile, the MCs seemed satisfied but I seemed to be the only one to realise just how fake that smile was, not that I was watching him. I was just observing the interview like everyone else, pretending to be a brother because I happen to be straight. The MCs then signalled to the camera man for that part to be cut out later and we continued recording the show.

The MCs began to joke about and caused us all to laugh, it really helped change the atmosphere and prevented Mir from burning holes in my head. I was glad for it. After some more joking around and a few dance displays the interview came to an end. Finally! 

When the camera stopped rolling I almost ran towards the door. Then after we got to the van I asked Seungho if I could sit in the front again, but he wasn't feeling so generous a second time around and I was stuck with Mir. We all crammed into the van, and I couldn't help feeling uncomfortable with Mir being so close, because it's embarrassing that he likes me. He knew I was straight and he knew I had a girlfriend so why bother. I don't have any feelings for him! And by 'was straight', I mean I still am. I tried to shut my mind up for a second, but I think I'd rather be lost in thought than aware of being squashed by the very guy that admitted feelings for me earlier that day.

Unfortunately whether my mind would shut up or not, I couldn't not be aware of Mir. I could feel the heat radiating off of him. In a way it was good, since I forgot to bring a coat and the van was pretty cold, but on the other hand if I had a choice, I'd rather be outside in the cold without a jacket walking back to the dorm being chased by hoards of fans.

It's not possible for me to be gay. One, I have a girlfriend. Two, I would be disowned. Three, I have not ever and will not ever like guys. Why couldn't Mir understand that? Although there's this weird feeling in the back of my mind that feels like fear, maybe I'm a little more homophobic than I thought.

After what seemed like an eternity and a half we finally got back to the dorm, I was so happy I could have cried. But then reality came back and I realised that I still share a room with Mir. A room I  have to get changed in too. Wait, that means that everytime I got changed...I felt my face go red, probably a combination of anger and embarrassment.

"Joon? Are you okay, you look flushed." Seungho asked me. I honestly had no idea if I was okay, everything was so irritating and frustrating. "I just feel unwell again, sorry." I replied, thankful for my earlier excuse. "Okay, well you go head up stairs and get to bed early, we need you well for our upcoming concert." I nodded in appreciation, it meant I could avoid Mir. Or at least, I'd already be sleeping when he came to bed. "Oh and Mir?" Seungho called "Look after Joon will you?"

If there is a god, he must hate me.

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Thanks for reading! Took a little longer to update than I should have, but I was tweaking the chapter again xD I'm still not entirely satisfied but it's not as bad as it was! I'll update quicker next time. Comments and subs are most appreciated ^^