In Heaven the clouds were a darkish purple hue as there is no Sun to illuminate them from above. The Sun that humans saw as the great, big, yellow yolk in the sky was actually the of the staff held by Lord Sweetbebegeezus. The golden lustre of the staff extends through and through, so much so that the very of it lights up Galaxy 22-b-ic4-iso9-bunbun. Legend holds that the staff hides a horrifying power that allows the beholder to raise terror in all of the twelve galaxies in existence so far. This rumored power, then, is also the reason why Lord Sweetbebegeezus is the second most powerful God in Heaven.

The Lord prefers to be called Lord Sweet. And today, our good natured and forever jolly Lord Sweet had an uncharacteristic frown marring his Godly face.

“Lord Sweetbebegeezus!! Land god Craw, 9th order, wishes to see your lordship,” piped the messenger by the Lord’s side.

“Let him in.” The Lord heaved a sigh. Hopefully, Craw would be able to solve some of his problems, the ones which caused him to frown so much these days.

Soon, Craw bobbed into the court of Lord Sweet, a chagrin smile on his face, his staff held horizontally to signify respect to his lordship, and wearing the same rags as before. He opened his mouth wide, took a large gulp of air, and started to squabble:

“My Lord! How nice to see thee again! Your radiance, of which shines bright in an eternal flame that lights up the universe, has only increased since the days I last saw you, my Lord. Surely, you used the mud I gifted last time we parted! Your skin is flawless! Good Lord, oh no, I did not mean that as a substitute for profanity but, Goodness gracious, have you become oh so beautiful. It hurts me, physically, my Lord, to see your magnificence magnify by day, no by minutes! by seconds! It puts me to shame!! This small body is no comparison to thine lovely figure!”

“Enough, enough.” Lord Sweet’s lips quivered as they attempted to hide his pleasure and to replace it with sternness. Even Gods enjoy flattery. Indeed, there is very few who are truly unmoved by praise.  

“But my Lord! How can there be enough when there is no bound to your beauty and therefore no bound to the words to describe your beauty!” Craw was evidently in a very subservient mood today.

“Enough of your lies, Craw. It’s been a while a since we’ve last met. I missed you. And yes, I did use your mud and it worked like a charm.”

Craw’s face lit up to hear that he had been useful to the one God that he liked so much. “Really?! I’ll get more next time!”

The Lord languidly smiled. It was nice to see vivacity in a place so gloom.  “Young Craw, what have you got for me?”

Craw inched closer to Lord Sweet, but not too close, and began to giggle. “Choi Ren, my Lord. He has awoken!”

The Lord gasped. “So soon?”

“Soon, my Lord? It’s actually been a while. Months.” Craw scratched his cute fluffy head of cute fluffy hair. “It’s been months since I last saw you...four months actually...” The little land god murmured mostly to himself, lost in thought.

Lord Sweet reached out and ruffled the land god’s cute fluffy hair, a worn expression on his face, as he tried to explain his shock.

“You see, Craw, there is a reason why I did not expect this to be so soon. I did not think that Ren would be able to intake the brunt of the powers that his father had left behind. The Chois are powerful, were, indeed, always very powerful. One of the reasons that they manage to dominate the others hojas from the very beginning is because power, in this galaxy at least, is property. And hojas have property rights. The power can be transferred and inherited and thus, naturally, it can also be accumulated as well as stolen, taken, usurped and wasted.

“The Chois have been very protective of their power. It has safely transferred from on Choi to the next with fail for 76 generations so far. One analogy would be to think of the very first Choi ancestor as having won the lottery. Then, he had invested it well. He had kept it safe. Then he gave the money to his son. The son then also grew the money and safely gave it to his own son. And so on and so forth until now, Ren is the heir to a billion dollars worth of power.

“I remember when I inherited my father’s powers, back when I was still human...it was painful. It felt as if something was being forcefully injected into me, something intangible but so painful. I lost my hearing for a while as an aftereffect. And thus, those in the village had called me Siwon the Daft. Daft, because it was a homophone for deaf. But that was millenniums ago.

“Ren, too, might suffer a physical consequence if he uptakes too fast. And that is why I was shocked. Ren was not supposed to have access to his powers. It is too soon.”

Craw slowly nodded, his eyes strained as he mentally picture Ren with a billion bucks in his pocket. “So this billionaire is going to have some problems adjusting to this source of wealth—this power.”

“I fear so.” The glum appearance surfaced again on Lord Sweet’s face. “I fear so.”

“Then what can we do?”

“Monitor him and make sure he learns to master his powers. Let him learn the importance of frugality and the meaning of temperament.” Lord Sweet paused, “Use force if necessary. Heaven has been losing hojas lately. We can’t afford to lose the powers of the Chois.”

“Yes, my Lord.”

“Now, leave me. I have to watch Sponge Bob.”

Craw’s face lit up again. He shouted, a bit too enthusiastically, “I WANT TO WATCH IT WITH YOU!”


 

Back on Earth, Ren was sleeping soundly on the rooftop of the Science building, while Ford, invisible to the eyes of mere mortals, floated listlessly above.

Footsteps echoed from below, getting louder, until the door to the roof opened and Baekho strutted out. Baekho needed to perform his daily ritual of absorbing the Sun’s last rays before he went home for the day. Thus, ever since last year, he would sneak up the Science building after Kendo club ended, walk up the long winding steps, and then stand before the railings with his arms hugging the sky to be embraced by the sun’s last residue of warmth.

When Baekho saw Ren sleeping, he was shocked. He yelped. Yes, your eyes are not deceiving you. The man yelped. Like a girl.

“Shisus! Ren-ah!”

Ford watched the boy with the mohwak—the one who had Ren in a headlock this morning—bend down until his kneecaps slightly touched touched Ren’s nose. He watched as the boy’s eyes lustily run over Ren’s delicate features, from the tip of his hair until the crotch, where the boy’s eyes stopped, and he turned away to hid his blush.

“How do you have a bulge there...”

Ford spluttered. “You erted, hormone-driven, girly-acting idiot!”

Baekho, of course, could neither see nor hear the land-god. He thought he was alone and continued to act in the creepy way people act when they think they are alone. Privacy should be a crime. For privacy is a luxury that temporarily shuts down our inhibitions and misgivings, it serves as a reprieve from the judgements of others and our consequent judgements of ourselves in relation to others, and it ultimately breeds criminal thoughts.

Baekho, in his privacy, shyly grinned at the sleeping, defenseless Ren.

“Would it be okay if I kissed you?”

“WAT?” Ford yelled. “WAT DID YOU SAY?”

Baekho put a hand to his ear, and exclaimed, “Ah! Did you just say yes, Ren?”

“NO! HE SAID NO!” Ford was flabbergasted. “AND HE DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING! HE’S SLEEPING!”  

“Okay, then Ren! I shall give my princess a little kiss. But just a little one! I wouldn’t want to spoil you now.”

Ford just shook his head. “Oh, you sick bastard.”

Baekho slowly leaned down until his lips were above Ren’s and there he closed his eyes...and WHAM!

A hyper strong wind that came from nowhere suddenly picked up his Kendo sword and whacked it across his face. The sword  rolled onto the floor, clacking as it went, once the wind died and Baekho looked at it with an expression of pure hatred.

“Why you little...Of all times! Right when I was about to kiss him!! Aadklgfkgdskjsdkjsdklb!!!”

///   ///   ///   ///   ///   ///   ///   ///   ///   ///   ///   ///   ///   ///   ///   ///   ///   ///   ///   ///   ///   

Lord Sweetbebegeezus=Siwon=Shisus. Just in case this clever nameplay was lost on you. Yes, I just said it was clever.

CrawFord also have other names which they were called when they were human. Heheh.