It was morning. Ren knew that it was morning even though his eyes were closed. His eyes were puffy, and if he opened them, anyone can see that they were pink too. After his dream last night, Ren was enervated. He just wanted to lie down for the entire day, to be forgotten and to forget for a while. It was just so heavy, he told himself. So heavy to wake up without some coddling, without some affection. It was just so tiring. What did he have to wake up to anyways? 

 

Nothing, he concluded. Just another bleak day.  

 

"God damn it." His arm covered his eyes so that he could block the light coming in from the open windows. After a while his face began to feel hot.

Outside his room, he could hear the sounds of his cousin waking up and going to the bathroom. The toilet flushed. The water was with a creak. Water running. The sound of Aaron brushing his teeth. The sound of Aaron gurgling water. 

 

Ren opened his eyes but kept his arm covering them. 

 

Aaron spat the water out. The water kept on running. Something sloshed in the water. His washcloth probably. 

 

"Aaaaaaauuuuggggghhhhhhh." Aaron's ritual morning sigh. 

 

The water was still running. 

 

"Haaaaa." Another one of his sighs.

 

The shower head came on. The water from the sink was still running.  

 

Ren continued to lie in bed, just listening to the water and Aaron's singing. He tends to do that, Ren thought. And it still sounds horrible. 

Unwitteningly, a small smirk lighted on Ren's otherwise sullen face. 

 

It had been four months nows since Aaron moved from California to Busan. Seven thousand one hundred and ten miles away from home and yet, Aaron's still chipper enough to sing "Let it be" in his shower every morning. Ren knew that this song was mostly meant for him. 

 

"Oh! Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be! There will be an answer, let it bee—————!" 

 

Ren winced when he heard Aaron's voice breaking into an incredibily embarassing and high pitched wailing. He sounded like whales trying to mate, only after being done and through with , the whales realize that they were both males. Thus, they unleashed the wail of agony: "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE—————." 

 

The shower head was shut off and rustling was heard. Any moment now, Aaron would open the door to his bedroom and walk in dripping wet and if not for the towel tied haphazardly over his waist. 

 

And sure enough, Aaron bursted through the door. Ren made sure that he kept his eyes hidden. 

 

"RISE AND SHINE RENNY!" shouted Aaron. He swiped his damp washcloth off his head and flung it into the room. "Your cousin is here!"

 

"You've been here." Ren turned his back to Aaron. "Four months now, Aaron. Just smooching off of me."

 

"Baby cous, we're family and that's what family does!" Aaron jumped onto Ren's bed and hugged him from behind. Slowly, he began to rock Ren back and forth, as if though Ren was an infant. 

 

"Your pillow is wet again. Did you cry?" asked Aaron in a soft voice. "S'okay, okay...okay..." 

 

The rocking continued while Ren remained quiet. How was he suppose to answer that question? Yes, I cried. Yep, I'm not over my parents' death. And yes, I'm still a baby. 

 

"Piss off, Aaron. I'm not a baby. Go away." 

 

Aaron gasped—Ren felt his neck suddenly go chilly from his cousin's sharp intake—and lovingly poked Ren in his ribs. "You're not twice old enough to tell me to piss off. You're my baby! How can I leave my baby here to cry all by himself! What type of person would that make me!" Aaron resumed his rocking of Ren, and also began craddling him in his arms, nuzzling into the crook of Ren's neck, patting Ren's hair and humming a light lullaby. 

 

Secretly, Ren found comfort in all of these affectionate actions. He would never tell Aaron that he was grateful for all he has done in the past four months and it gnawed at him a little. He wanted to recriprocate the love but he would always end up saying something hurtful. 

 

"You smell bad. Halitosis."

 

Aaron chuckled lightly into Ren's neck. "Mnhmm, such a precious kid. Saranghae, Minki-ah."

 

Ren felt himself tearing up. 

 

"Minki-ah." Who did Aaron think he is! Only his parents were allowed to call him that! Almost angrily, he stared at his wall, hoping that his tears would not fall. Those traitorous tears! 

 

Besides his own parents, Aaron was the only other family member that he was close with. Everyone else who had showed up for his parents' funeral dissappeared once it was over. They all looked at Ren, who was pale and sick as he knelt before his parents' plate, hands shaking and knucles white from holding his their pictures, and said their condolences. 

 

"Aigoo, what a pretty boy. Why did it have to happen to you."

 

"Ah, we are sorry. Your parents were good people."

 

"Please recover from this unfortunate event. Misfortune happens to all of us. Sorry it had to happen to you so soon."

 

"If you need anything, please feel free to contact me. Your parents were good to me in their life and its only a small repayment to be good to their only offspring."

 

After their well-wishing, their apologies and their offers of help, they left. Easy come, easy go. Ren was alone in his mourning and alone in his heart crushing sorrow. He felt that the world was a chilly place that night. The day after the funeral, the door was suddenly kicked opened and bright, burning sunlight cascaded into the dark reception room. It was Aaron, with his back to the sun, a warm smile on his face, and a hand outstretched to Ren. 

 

"Sorry baby cous," he said. "Sorry I couldn't make it to their funeral. But I'm here for you now."

 

And he was. Four months. Seven thousand one hundred and ten miles away from home. Every morning, he would shower and come in , saved for that filmsy towel, and lulluby Ren back to sleep. 

 

"Aaron, you bastard," murmured Ren.

 

You loving bastard.