Chapter 1: Public Apology

10^th December 2011

I walked out from the back stage when my name was announced. ‘This is it; I need to make a public apology.’ Then there I was, standing at the centre of the stage, bowing and waving at my fans and the audients.

‘Are you here?’I asked in my thought as I searched her face in the crowd. I went to the piano and sat on the stool. I then put my fingers on the keys and started to play the piano...

The crowd went wild as girls were touched by it. She would be doing the same thing if she was here but I knew she’s not in the crowd. I hurt her and now I am regretting it. Right now, I wished to turn back the time and start all over.

I started singing as I the music. My fingers were numb from the endless practice. How I wish she was here, watching me. I worked hard for this… for her.

“I would like to make an apology…” I stopped singing as soon as I reached the chorus. My heart weren’t in the performance anymore. I dropped my hands to my side. I bit my lower lips as broken glasses of tears will be shattered anytime.

“…to the girl I love…” I bit my lip hard as the first wave tears were pouring. “…the girl I met at such unexpected place…” I said. I was staring at the black and white keys. I didn’t dare to face my fans. See how coward I am.

“On the air.” I lit up a small smile, remembering how we met for the first time. “I hurt her… I’m a jerk. I should at least call her, once a month would be enough right?”

“Mianhae…I think I deserve this. If you are punishing me, then that’s good because I know how it feels like... Because what you did to me is nothing, compare to what I did to you.” My heart started to beat unevenly as my lungs weren’t able to inhale the oxygen.

“~~~~~.” I called her name. “Mianhae…” I tried to hold my tears but failed. I became weak when I think about her. She meant everything to me.

8^th December 2011

“Hyung!” Ricky woke me up from my dreamland. I rolled to my side and groaned at him. “A special delivery.” He handed me a letter and winked. “I miss her.”

‘Miss who?’I asked him silently. Then I realized who he was talking about. “~~~~~?” I asked him and got up from the daybed. Ricky nodded.

“I insisted her to stay but… yeah, she seems to be in a hurry.” Ricky pouted. He then left for the kitchen. “And by the way! she said she was sorry!” Ricky yelled from the kitchen.

I was ecstatic to get her letter. I smiled from ear to ear, it’s been a while since she sent me one. Actually she can just send me a text messages or call me but I guess she just want to do something different.

I started reading the handwritten letter with a wide smile. As I continued reading every word she said, the smile slowly faded.

‘Hey Chunji, how are you? It’s been a while. I hope you are doing fine. I see you are busy now, with the comebacks and stuffs. I saw you on TV last night so… yeah. I enjoyed it…You’re amazing like always.

I’ve been thinking lately, why you didn’t reply my msg. or why you didn’t even bother to call me. I guess you’re too busy, that you didn’t have a small slot for me. Not even a second of your time. I thought you promise to find the time. For me. For us.

I think this is it Chunji, I’m sorry I can’t stand being like this anymore. Supporting you all the time, when you really don’t need it. Waiting for you when I know you never ask me to wait. And cry like a baby when I know you won’t do the same.

Silly huh? I feel so stupid. Stupid, in a sense that, there are lot of girls are doing the same thing. I think I turned into your ‘typical’ fan-girl. Nothing special... I’m tired of everything. With this. With you.

So this is what I want and this is the best for the both of us. Let’s end this… End this relationship. I don’t think we’re match for each other…

I’m sorry to end our ‘link’ like this. I have to admit it. I am a coward; I don’t have guts to say this to you. Not even the bold side of me dare to say this in front of you. So I’m sorry for that.

Let our memories stay in our heart and are never meant to be forgotten. Goodbye Chunji…’

‘~~~~~…’ I stammered.