The atmosphere at the dinner was tense as the four of them sat facing each other. Not a person spoke. Not a person smiled. Their managers have left them alone at their request. Every once in a while, someone will take a glance at the wall clock. And then their eyes will return to staring at their hands. Or the tablecloth. Or their watch. Or anything else....

...except each other's eyes.

The clock ticked 25 minutes past 8pm when the sound of the door opening finally broke the cold silence of the room.

"Seunghyun ah. Why are you so late? Didn't you receive my text to be here by 8pm sharp?"

TOP looked at the questioning GDragon who was unsmiling. The only times when his friend will drop the honorifics is when he is under a lot of pressure while assuming his leader position. And when he does that, TOP knows better than anyone else that he should not be anything less than serious.

"I'm sorry to have kept you waiting, everyone. The filming ended later than expected." Top mumbled his apology before taking a seat besides Daesung.

GD sighed loudly. His face was strained from the exhaustion of so many sleepless nights.

If only I can run away from this moment....I don't want to be a leader in this, guys...

"I think..." he started with a soft voice. "I think we all know why we are gathered here...."

GD looked at each of s. None of them were making eye contact with anyone else.

How did it come to this...?

GD took a deep breath and sighed again. His shoulders felt extremely heavy.

"This situation has been going on for a few weeks, and as we all know, the President had asked us to decide for ourselves yesterday."

Only Daesung nodded slightly.

"I think from our....verbal disputes...it is clear that Bigbang no longer has the same focus as we did 6 years ago. We've come a long way since our trainee days, and we had made it big as 5...and eventually, we created a niche for our individual selves. I understand that we all have our own dreams to chase...that we are 5 individuals. Very different individuals. And it seems, even 6 years couldn't make us understand each other...which is why we are in this situation right now."

"Jiyong hyung ah...." Daesung's voice sounded sad and soft, as if trying to stop GD's words that he knew was hurting the leader himself. But GD continued anyway. He knew he had to.

"I gathered everyone here so that we can decide....if we want to continue as Bigbang...." 

GD closed his eyes briefly. Never did he thought he will be saying these words. His voice trembled slightly as he continued.

"....or go our separate ways and pursue our dreams as solo artists."

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Daesung felt as if he had been hit by a block of cold ice. He knew what was coming. He even expected his leader to ask those questions.

But to actually hear those words coming from Jiyong hyung's mouth...

Daesung finally felt the gravity of the situation.

In an instant, his mind reeled back to the weeks leading up to the formation of their group. How everyone had worked SO hard to secure their places in this group. The laughters, the fights, the tears....the bonds.

Thoughts of those flashing moments made him want to revolt against this tense atmosphere. Seeing his own members like this....

....this wasn't how we used to be, hyungs....

"You know my answer, Jiyong."

All eyes shot to Taeyang's face who kept his own gaze down.

"I want to make it on my own."

A brief moment of silence followed Taeyang's statement.

Then suddenly, a chair toppled as TOP's hand shot across the table and grabbed Taeyang by the collar.

"Oit! What are you saying, Youngbae ah?! YAHHH!! ANSWER ME!!" TOP shouted as he pulled Taeyang up from his seat. The latter struggled to push TOP's hand away, but in his fit of anger, TOP maintained his strong grip and pulled his other arm back to land a punch on 's face.

Realising that a bloody fist fight was about to break out, Daesung and GD panicked and struggled to get TOP off from the table, but Taeyang managed to pull himself away right before TOP's punch came in contact with his left eye.

"I SAID I WANT OUT OF THIS DAMNED GROUP!!"

Everyone froze.

Partly because nobody had ever seen the soft-spoken Taeyang lost control of his anger like this before.

Partly because of what he just called his own group.

DAMNED.

His own words caught Taeyang by surprise, but he knew that they came from the heart. It was something that he had felt ever since the year-long hiatus before their Alive mini-album, but he had never said it outrightly before. God knows how many times he tried to brush away those sentiments, but they will simply return once again, each time stronger than the last.

And today, I've spoken those words from the heart. There is no more turning back, Youngbae....no more turning back for you.

"Don't you think you are going too far, Youngbae?!" TOP's gruff voice questioned him, but Taeyang shook his head.

"What I said was true, wasn't it? This group is damned! Yeah, we may have gotten over the 5-year jinx, but we had gone through too many troubles within these 5 years. Everytime someone screws up, all the rest of us who have tried so, SO hard to stay out of trouble will be caught up in it as well."

Daesung felt an overwhelming guilt wash over him like a tsunami. He knew that Taeyang was talking about his accident incident and GD's scandal. But Taeyang was also the member who had given him the most support when their activities were suspended.

To hear that very same person, who had smiled kindly at Daesung when noone else would, say those words...

At that moment, he felt a momentary resentment towards Taeyang. Daesung wanted to rebutt and voice out his disappointment in his hyung, but Taeyang had moved back to target TOP next.

"Tell me Seunghyun, don't you wish to pursue your acting career? Aren't you sick of being labelled as Bigbang's rapper rather than your own character?"

TOP shook his head.

"No, Youngbae, you got it wrong. Sure, I gained an interest in acting and the few awards which I won served to fuel that passion and interest further. But I've never thought about leaving Bigbang"

Taeyang smirked. "Then you must be one hell of a hypocrite, Seunghyun. Why else would you push back the date of your 2nd duo release with Jiyong if it wasn't because you chose to prioritise your drama?"

"Stop it, Youngbae." GD's stern voice commanded to stop bringing up a past conflict. "Everyone knew that it was me who came to that decision."

Taeyang sharp eyes bore into GD's own as he let out a slow chuckle.

"Aww...Jiyong ah...that was truly so sweet of you, isn't it? Afterall, we all know how you always seem to favour big Seunghyun here over the rest of us. Can't really hide that little crush of yours, can't you, Jiyong ah...?"

"Stop your nonsense right now, Youngbae!!" TOP shouted. He took a glance at Jiyong who seemed stricken at Taeyang's taunts and it made him angrier than ever.

"I don't know what made you change your mind, Youngbae, but if there is really any of us who should make it solo, it would have been Jiyong here. He has the biggest potential to make it alone. He would have shone even more if it weren't for people like us covering his brilliance every now and then." TOP stole another glance at his leader, but GD was simply looking down at his feet, trying hard to hold back his tears.

...I hate seeing you being under so much pressure like this, Jiyong....

"But instead," TOP continued "He chose to be with us, as a friend, a member, a leader....Youngbae ah...can't you see Jiyong's sacrifice? Why are you making it hard for him, Youngbae ah...?"

Taeyang glared at TOP, angry tears clearly glistening in his small eyes.

"Don't you understand, hyung? It is exactly because of THAT which is why I am asking to make it on my own." His angry glare shifted at his leader who could no longer control the tears from silently rolling down his cheeks.

"As long as I stay in the same group as Jiyong, I can never shine. Because as long as I stay in Bigbang, I will always be under his shadow. And I no longer want to be in G-dragon's shadow."

The angry tear that he had been keeping back so well before this spilled from his eyes.

"That is why I want to leave Bigbang. So don't try to stop me, hyung. Nothing you said, or will say, will make me change my mind."

With that final statement, Taeyang turned around and walked out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

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Silence ensued Taeyang's departure. Nobody moved. Nobody said a word. Each and everyone of them were shocked by Taeyang's reason for leaving.

Was that how he had been feeling all along...?

GD felt horrified. He had always thought that it was just healthy competition between himself and Taeyang ever since their trainee days. Never did he thought that Taeyang would feel outshone by him.

We are completely different people...we have completely different talents....but we are brothers, aren't we, Youngbae? So why....?

At that moment, the scrapping of chair across the floor sounded behind them.

It was then that they realised that their maknae had not moved nor spokeen a word throughout the whole chaotic scene.

And yet, now that he finally did, all GD could see was an icy coldness in his maknae's gaze.

"I'm sorry, hyung" Seungri started with a clipped voice "but I think I agree with Youngbae hyung."

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"Wh...what do you mean, Seungri ah?" Daesung asked, bewildered by the maknae's comment.

Seungri gave a sigh.

"It is hard to shine when you are in a group, Daesung hyung. Especially when you are the maknae. It really to be the maknae of the group, don't you know? Because even though you have so much talent, you will always be covered by the rest, simply because you are the youngest. The invisible maknae..."

He turned to face GD.

"Jiyong hyung, you knew that I have a lot of potential, don't you? You also understand my passion for dancing, don't you? I've always envied those groups who could execute those sharp and complex choreography. This is not something that I can achieve with Bigbang, but it is something that I can do while I'm doing my solo works...."

Seungri took a deep breath before continuing.

"Hence, this is why, I am sorry to say, but I would like to follow Youngbae hyung's footsteps and make it on my own as well."

Seungri looked at each of his hyungs who were staring at him, dumbfounded. The maknae instinct in him still feared that he'll be getting a scolding from his hyungs for this. But throughout the scene that Taeyang created just now, Seungri had sat there by himself, thinking about his stand on this matter and gathering up his courage to voice his opinions as well.

"Are you really sure you want this, Seungri...?"

The iciness in Seungri's eyes melted away. GD's sad voice broke his heart. Out of all his hyungs, Seungri had always felt  closest to his leader. He knew that GD was constantly beside him as a stern leader who was always ready to make sure that the maknae would stay out of trouble. But because of that too, Seungri had also come to know of the kind nature of his leader. Which is why Seungri never minded GD's constant monitoring, not in the least bit. In fact, he only feels most comfortable with GD out of all the members. So to hear the disappointment in his Jiyong hyung's voice right now....

"I'm just stating my current thoughts right now, Jiyong hyung. It is something that came from my heart, but the decision is not set in stone yet. I will definitely re-think about it, but for now, I'm just letting you know that I wish to make it on my own as well."

Seeing that noone had spoken a word in reply, Seungri guessed that it will be best if he leaves the remaining members alone at the current moment. But halfway through the doorway, he paused in mid-stride and looked over his shoulder.

"Forgive me for saying this, Jiyong hyung, but I think TOP hyung is right. With your talent, you have the biggest potential among all of us to make it big out there. I think you should reconsider about staying as a group as well...all of you. You each had found a niche that would make you shine on your own grounds...I think it'll be such a waste to confine that within Bigbang alone."

Seungri looked down. He felt that he had said enough for the day and closed the door behind him without a further glance.

GD watched as the back of his maknae disappeared behind the closed door. The sound of the door closing resonated into a loud crash in his heart.

It was the sound of his world crashing down on him. The world in which he had lived so passionately for.

A surge of the exhaustion which he had held back all this while swept over him. Even as his legs buckled under him and his vision blackened out, GD wanted to reach out to the one thing that he had loved so much.

Bigbang....

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When he finally woke up, the first thing he noticed was the face of their company's physician covering his entire vision.

"Ahh...Looks like our boy is finally up..."

GD blinked a few times to get himself orientated to his environment before struggling to sit up, but a pair of hands pushed his shoulder back down onto the soft comforts of his bed. He turned his head towards the owner of that pair of hands.

"Its been a tough day for you, Jiyong. You should rest a bit more."

Hearing President Yang's fatherly voice advicing him recalled back the memories of the night for GD. Immediately, he felt the sadness of a huge loss overwhelming him once more.

"I'm so sorry, boss....I tried so hard to keep our group together, but..." GD bit his trembling lips. He couldn't continue on. Explaining it any further will destroy whatever sense of control he has left.

YG patted the head of his favourite prodigy. He had heard the news of Youngbae's and Seungri's decision from a solemn TOP and Daesung after they had made sure that GD will receive the appropriate care for his extreme exhaustion.

The news did not surprise him at all. As a fatherly figure to the 5 guys whom he had raised from their trainee days, YG had come to understand each of their character very well. From Youngbae's quiet but stubborn nature, to big Seunghyun who had acted goofy at times but will blow his top off at the slightest provocation, to Daesung who is certainly the most sensitive of all the members given the ordeal he had to go through at such a young age, to little Seunghyun whose all-round capabilities are shadowed by his own cockiness.

And then there is Jiyong, the leader of the group. A genius when it comes to producing fresh music that is the cornerstone of YG Entertainment. And yet, despite his overwhelming duties and responsibilities, he never failed to prioritise his group's activities even before his own dreams. YG knew that his prodigy is the one person who had come to cherish Bigbang the most. Perhaps even more than YG himself.

That is why he couldn't even bear the thought of blaming Jiyong for this matter.

"Its not your fault, Jiyong ah...Perhaps I had been too harsh on Youngbae as well, always pressuring him with the criticisms, hoping that he'll be a much better and stronger character...." YG said with a twang of regret in his voice.

"But at the end of the day, you will allow him and Seungri to go solo, won't you?" It was more of a statement rather than a question, since GD already knew YG's stand on this.

Nodding slowly, YG confirmed GD's guess. "You know I always allow my artists freedom of choice when it comes to their music and creativity...."

GD looked down. The sadness kept overwhelming him like waves washing over him.

A small sliver of hope had stayed alive in him, hoping that the boss will quote a clause or two from their signed contract which requires all members to stay within the group for the sstipulated amount of time. But now, hearing YG's confirmation took away whatever sense of hope he had left.

6 years....6 years gone just like that....

GD tasted the iron taste of blood on the tips of his tongue and realised that he had been biting his lips too hard to prevent himself from crying. It was impossible to hold back his tears anymore. As the first big, fat tear rolled down his cheeks, GD realised that he had never cried in front of the boss before. It was too embarassing, plus s would all be looking at him for his lead. But none of them are around right now, and in this situation, he couldn't be be bothered about how YG would perceive this emotional reaction from him.

The group had been a testimony of his life's work, and because of that, he had loved Bigbang more than anyone else. As the group's leader, GD had a very accurate feel of each of 's strengths and weaknesses, and with that knowledge alone, he tried to leverage on their strengths for every work that they did.

But apparently, it wasn't enough for Youngbae....

GD buried his face in his hands, his sobs racking his shoulders. He tried so hard to stop it, to control himself, but the sadness kept crashing in over and over again.

Seeing the young man losing control of his emotions, YG beckoned their company's doctor to administer a shot that would calm GD down to a sleep within a minutes.

"I wish I can turn back the time, boss....back to when we were still trainees who were working hard to get a place in the group...."

GD began to feel the calming effects of the drug kicking in as his eyelids grew heavier by the seconds.

"I wish..." his voice lowered to a whisper in between the dwindling sobs.

"...I wish...that we can stay as 5.........forever...."

YG stared at his prodigy until the young man had drifted off to sleep. Seeing the strained face finally melting away into the peacefulness of a carefree slumber, YG felt a tear pricked his eyes. The image of a 6 years old Jiyong rapping for his audition came to his mind. How he had impressed YG straight away with his immaculate rapping, expressions and sense of fashion. It wasn't something that any 6 year old can do, and YG knew he had to sign on that 6 year old boy someday into his company.

At that moment, YG couldn't help but feel so sorry towards the young man that he had considered as his own son.

The son whom the world had known as G-Dragon of Bigbang.

As he got up to leave, YG took one last glance at the frail figure of his prodigy.

Rest well, my son. You've exceeded my expectations as the leader of Bigbang. From now on, just leave the matter up to me. I will handle it.

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