6
Memoirs of a Queenka
I turned around to see Jonghyun talking to Gwiboon again. Something tugged at my chest and I turned around, annoyed. The bell rang and I got up and left, too irritated to wait for Jonghyun. I took a walk by myself around the campus. I was walking down a flight of stairs when someone called my name.
“Eunjung?” I looked up from my thoughts and saw Onew looking up at me from the base of the flight of stairs. “It is you! Why so mopey?” he said as I came down the steps to meet him.
“Onew-sunbae! What are you doing back here? Aren’t you in college now?” I asked, giving him a hug.
“Deh, but I decided to visit. Plus, my school isn’t really all that far away. I still live at home. But I’m planning on getting an apartment soon. How about you? Why so glum?” he asked.
“It’s nothing,” I told him. I took a seat on a bench located nearby and he followed suit.
“No really, what is it?” I wasn’t sure if I should be telling anything personal but it all came pouring out.
“Don’t you just hate it when someone constantly blows you off? It annoys me so much…” I grumbled to myself and to him at the same time. He patted my back for lack of words.
“Wanna talk about it?” he asked.
“Ani. It’s such a trivial thing, but it is just so frustrating sometimes.”
“Well, whoever you’re having an issue with, you should go talk to them, neh?” I sighed and nodded. “Good. Well, I’ll let you go do that. Eunjung hwaiting!” he said cheerfully, waving me away.
“Thanks sunbae,” I giggled as I walked away. Ok, all I have to do is tell Jonghyun how I feel about all this. But it’s not like I can just tell him that he can’t hang out with certain people…. I shook that thought off and went to look for him. I had no clue where to look so I went to some of his friends and even asked Taemin if he knew where he was, with little luck.
“I don’t know, but I’ll help you look for him,” Taemin offered.
“You sure? I don’t want to bother you….”
“No, it’s ok. I needed a break any way,” he said cheerfully. I grinned and we began our search. I had difficulty finding him but finally I found him. His back was to me, an arm pressed against the wall. He seemed to be peering at something on the wall.
“Jong-“ I stopped mid-call when I saw that he was peering at someone against the wall. I knew who it was, and I was disappointed to find out that I was right. I stood still in my tracks. He turned around and saw me there, looking pathetic and heartbroken. Gwiboon looked at me with her cat-like eyes open wide at my appearance. Either I just interrupted Jonghyun cheating on me or I just walked in at the most inconvenient time. Hopefully the latter. But being me, I thought the worst and walked away as quickly as possible.
“Eunjung-“ I could hear Jonghyun call out. I stopped. I paused for a moment.
“Taemin, let’s go.” I let Taemin catch up and when he put his arm around me, he brought me outside to the school garden. It was silent as he just rubbed my back in comfort. I sat there, trying to convince myself that Jonghyun was faithful, he was mine, he even said that he loved me.
“I’ll go get you a drink,” Taemin said, getting up. I nodded and he left. I sat, watching groups of friends walked by, laughing and joking with each other. A few people stopped to say hi to me and I smiled at them in return. Then I just stood up and began to walk home. When I got there, I felt bad for not letting Taemin know so I called him.
“Yoboseo?” he answered.
“Taemin-ah…sorry I didn’t tell you, but I wasn’t feeling well so I decided to just go home. Thanks for taking care of me today.” There was a short pause.
“Deh, noona, it’s ok. Are you feeling ok? Do you want me to come over?” he replied.
“Ani. I can take care of myself. Thanks though. I know I can always depend on my Taeminnie,” I chuckled.
“Yah! What did we agree on you calling me?!” he demanded.
“Fine, fine, Taemin-OPPA,” I said with a small laugh, “I’ll see you later.”
“Bye Eunjung-ah,” he said with a chuckle. We hung up and I suddenly felt really sleepy. I pushed all thoughts of Jonghyun out of my head and fell asleep on the couch.
The next day was Friday, thank god! But ugh, I didn’t want to go in there and hafta face Jonghyun. Oh wait, I wouldn’t need to since he sits behind me where he will be busy facing Gwiboon.
But before class started, Jonghyun found me at my locker.
“Yah, can we talk?” he asked in a low voice. At that moment, the one-minute warning bell rang. “At lunch?” he suggested. I only nodded and walked to class silently.
The lunch bell rang and I stood up to go to the bathroom. After I finished my business, I was washing my hands when I realized that the only other person in the washroom was Gwiboon. She was eying me through the mirror and I could feel the tension radiating between us. I faced her.
“Care to explain?” I said bluntly.
“D-deh. Um….Jonghyun was being nice to me yesterday and I don’t know why he got so close at that moment. I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to ruin your relationship…” she said innocently. I didn’t say anything.
“Do you like Jonghyun?” When she didn’t answer, I let out a sigh/snort of disbelief and left the bathroom.
I went back to classroom to find Jonghyun waiting for me, waiting to explain him self.
“Look, Eunjung, what you saw yesterday was a misunderstanding. I..I thought she accidently marked her skin with marker and I was about to point it out to her.” Liar. “I take full responsibility for my actions and I just want you to forgive me,” he said, wrapping his hand around mine and interlocking our fingers. I knew he was lying, too scared to ask why.
I can’t lose him, I can’t.
I kissed him on the lips. I’m not going to let you go to her that easily.
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