Everything suddenly went cold. There was no more warmth. Not even a speck. What had I done? Was there something else I didn't know? Kai is an arse. He stirred me up and teased me. He was a player. So why was he like this now? Every morning, exchanging little glances as we walked into the kitchen. While practicing for dances, it's the same. Lunch. Dinner. Everyday. It's always the same. Any time I see him he'll be staring at me. Eyes full of concentration. Reading me. Like each time was another update. I was an animal. But he never looked happy with my condition. Always wearing that mask of disappointment. I couldn't bear it. I missed him. I needed him. And that feeling tore me apart, knowing he'd never think that way. I don't blame him, why would he? Nothing was special about me. Except that I was a freak. Different. Odd. Today was different too. It was the last time he'd look at me like that. The last update.

 

~

 

"Lu Han. Pass the milk please". Tao asked me. Kai. He was sitting across from me. With his elbows resting on the cold stone table. His tight black singlet exposed his perfect, toned arms. I was staring at him. Right in the eyes. He was looking back. Nothing new. But this time, it was different. He wasn't searching for anything. He was looking straight into my eyes. Has he found out something? 

 

"Lu Han?" Tao spoke my name again, slighty louder this time. Kai. He's never quite looked very happy since the incident. Since I let him go. Since he left me. Barely smiled. Little laughs only escaped his mouth when Chanyeol did something stupid. But even I can't hold back a laugh at those moments. Chanyeol. He was sharing a room with me now. We went back to how it used to be. Kai must of moved everything for me. I didn't come home the night of the incident. I fainted according to D.O. He was walking down the street and just glanced at the alley and saw me lying on the ground. Apparently he carried me all the way to his car and drove me home. D.O was a nice person. I liked his personality. Simple. Knew what to say and when to say it. And when to just shut up.

 

"Lu Han." The name did not escape from Tao's mouth. It was from Kai. He said my name. He actually said my name. He laughed a little but as soon as it was out he went back to being serious. He hid it away. It's only been a week and I'm already suffering without him. Without hearing his voice. Without secretly cuddling up with him when he slept. Without being protected by him. Without Kai. He nodded his head in the direction of the end of the table. I turned my head. Tao. Oh crap. I looked back at the table and grabbed the milk, handing it to him as quickly as I could. Of course the cap wasn't on. Of course. Milk went everywhere. It splashed onto the table and not to mention everyone's plates. Everyone laughed it off. I didn't laugh. Neither did Kai. Look at me. I had become even more of a wreck. 

 

"Go. I'll clean up." Kai quietly said. He read straight through me. He knew I was weak. I probably should have refused, but I didn't.

 

"Sorry." I whispered to everyone. They were over it, they didn't care. I walked away. I walked into Kris and Kai's room. Kai's room. My old room. It smelt of him. There wasn't a word to describe his scent other than Kai. Kai smelled like Kai. I walked over to his bed and lied on it. My back sunk into the soft, springy mattress that I loved. Why wasn't mine like this? I stared at the ceiling. Why was I so pathetic? Why did I let myself become this? The ceiling was getting fuzzy, blurry. My eyes were drowning in my tears. I didn't care. I felt the little streams pour out, running down my face as I blinked. I had asked Kris what he meant when he said I wouldn't shut up when I was asleep. Apparently I was yelling Kai's name. That's kind of embarrassing. I wonder if I do that now. I wonder if Chanyeol hears me. I didn't care. Chanyeol was a good person. We got along well now. The door opened. Kai? . I stayed still, hoping he wouldn't notice me. . 

 

"Lu Han?" Kris's voice. Thank god. He walked over to the bed. I could see him now. Fantastic. I started crying. I don't even know why. "Hey, Lu Han. What's wrong?" He quietly asked. I sat up and pulled my thighs to my chest, digging my face into my knees. Kris placed his hand on my back. Comforting me. Rubbing it as if I was a little child. I didn't care. At least he was treating me as the age  I acted. I was a cry baby. Soon enough I was in his arms. Crying on his shoulder. He was sitting down on the bed and somehow, I don't even remember; I managed to get up onto his lap and wrap my arms and legs around him. Yep, I was a child. And he just sat there, comforting me. Not bombarding me with questions, not even saying a word. I could feel myself settle down a bit. Then of course, the door opened. Kai. I looked over Kris's shoulder. There he was. I dug my head into Kris's chest. I didn't want him to look at me. I stayed like that. Still as I could.

 

"Shh. He's asleep." Kris whispered. What? Why did he say that?

 

"Oh. Ok. I wanted to tell him something." Kai was barely whispering but his voice was so gentle it didn't matter.

 

"What did you want to tell him?" I didn't want to hear this. I wanted to run away. I wanted to get out.

 

"It's kinda weird. You won't understand" 

 

"Just say it."  

 

"I know I shouldn't be letting Lu Han know because it will make things worse. But I feel like I need to. I need t-" Kai suddenly stopped talking. I felt a hand on my cheek. Kai's hand. My cheek was on fire. He let out a little laugh. Crap. Did he know I was awake now? He whispered something to Kris. Kris lay me back down onto the bed. No. Why? Did he realize now much I was dying? He was leaving me. The door closed. Kai let out a sigh. 

 

"Why are you so confusing Lu Han? I read you. I was so sure you liked me. But what happened?" He whispered. He told me he had a girlfriend. That's what happened. He began twirling my his fingers in my hair. I was dying. I could barely breathe. Where did all the air in the room go? I felt the bed move a little. Kai lay down next to me. He ran his fingers along my arm lightly. "Tomorrow, can you just tell me what you think? Just be honest. Let me know, okay?" He spoke as if he knew I was awake. "And I want you to smile again, I can't bear seeing you so emotionless". He wrapped his arm around my waist. His forearm was lying on my stomach. This did not help my breathing. It wasn't because he was heavy or anything. It was because it was Kai. So, he liked me? Kai liked me the same way that I liked him? But what about this girlfriend of his? I thought about kicking him off but decided not to. Until tomorrow I would just pretend he didn't have a girlfriend. I was being stupid but I didn't really care at all. Kai's arm was around my waist. He was playing with my hair. Running his fingers down my arm. Nothing mattered right now. I'd ask about it tomorrow. 

 

 

 

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i thought the chapter before this was short.... sorry, i know this one is actually like REALLY short. But if I added in anything else it would just be dragging on.. anyway, Yay! 6th Chapter!... i dunno.. it just sounds like an acomplishment to celebrate.. chapter 10 is probably more realistic... but whatever... I'm gonna stop randomly talking and start the next chapter for you guys! oh wait! one more thing... i dunno if anyone noticed, I added something to the description.. I'm gonna mention it here too... sorry the story has kinda gone off according to the description.. but i have so many better ideas!! so, it probably wont fit in with the description in the end... IT WILL BE MUCH BETTER.. I hope.. anyway, please continue your support!! comment and subscribe pleaasse! even if you absolutely hate it, subscribe anyway please (oh yes.. that makes sense... ) and remember, i accept requests! i've only got a few, so if you want one, say it now while it's possible! thank youuuu :D