"Hi, my name is Luhan. I just moved from China to study here in Korea. Please treat me well."
"Luhan, huh? Nice name. Don't worry. I'll treat you well as long as you buy me food."
"I'm kidding! Lighten up, kid. Relax. I'll treat you well no matter what. I promise."
"Sorry, Lu," I whispered into the bed sheets that were pulled over my face. "Sorry I couldn't keep that promise." My voice was thick with sleep and sadness. I barely recognized it as my lips moved rigidly against the cotton blankets that were wrapped around my head.
The sunlight streamed in from outside, attempting to lift my mood. It was already past noon, and the world seemed determined to move on without me. Just because I was suffering from a wounded heart didn't mean reality was going to wait for me. As much as I wished otherwise, I had to move on from what had been.
I squeezed my eyes tighter, as though that would help me further escape from the painful truth of the present - Luhan was long gone, and I was alone. I wanted to bury myself in the bed sheets and never come out; to get lost in the warm, comforting folds of sleep and never have to face whatever awaited me beyond my bed.
For two days I had slept; sulked; mourned over the loss of one of the only true friendships I had ever known. For two days I had avoided the world, crossing my fingers and hoping that everything had simply been a nightmare. Two days full of tears, grief, guilt, and regret.
From somewhere outside my wall of blankets and sheets, I heard the faint sound of footsteps and an opening door. I turned over to face the wall and prayed silently that whoever it was, they would just have the decency to leave me in my peaceful misery.
"Kai, you can't stay holed up in this room forever. Do you not want to do the audition anymore? If you don't, everyone but you will be practicing for it. I have a new student and I could really use your help. Baekhyun is worried, too. Don't act like this. It won't fix anything. What's done is done, and there's no use regretting it. Move forward with your life. Do anything but this. Come on, Kai. Get up."
The covers were wrenched off of my huddled figure. The cool air of my bedroom invaded the bubble of warmth that had surrounded me and my eyes shot opened, squinting against the blinding brightness.
"Leave me alone," I mumbled, fingers fumbling for the blankets that Mr. Kim had clenched in his right fist. "Go away."
"No." Mr. Kim's voice was steely, edged with ice. "Pull yourself together. This is pathetic."
"Pathetic?" I looked up at him, eyes burning with anger. "You think it's pathetic that I purposefully hurt my best friend's feelings to prevent him from pulling out of SM? You think it's pathetic that he's no longer my best friend because I did what I thought was best for him?"
His eyes softened, his face a mask of pity. I turned away to glare out the window. I didn't need or want his pity. All I wanted was my best friend back.
"Just come to the studio when you're ready," he said, throwing the blankets back on the bed and walking out the same way he had entered. "I need your help."
As the door shut behind him, the smell of ramen made its way into the room. I hadn't eaten for two full days, and naturally, my body yearned for food. I picked myself up from the bed and walked stiffly out of the room and towards the kitchen. Walking down the hallway, I kept my eyes glued to the floor, shoulders slumped and feet dragging. I barely noticed when a tall figure moved in front of me and blocked my path.
"Well," Chanyeol's deep, drawling voice interrupted my miserable, internal conjectures. "I guess you're little friend made it in. Being a pretty- has its advantages, I suppose. I'm surprised they still agreed to take him after seeing him ball like a lame as -"
"Shut the up," I spat at him, taking his shirt in my fist and slamming him against the wall. A picture frame fell to the floor. I didn't flinch as the sound of breaking glass met my ears. He was doing a wonderful job of pissing me off.
He seemed unnerved by my threat, simply leaning his head against the wall and laughing lightly.
"Make me," he chuckled, eyes roaming the ceiling lazily. It was as though I was barely present; he scarcely acknowledged my existence. He merely said whatever bull he knew would piss me off while never even considering the fact that my self control would eventually slip and he would, hopefully, end up with a broken nose.
"I heard you're doing the audition with that loser, Baekhyun, now. Your pathetic boyfriend was practically crying into your mom's shoulder, whining about how you didn't want to do the audition with him anymore. Tough luck. I never made you out to be a homophobe."
The satisfying sound of my fist colliding with his jaw wasn't enough to ease the fiery hatred that practically consumed me. My knuckles connected perfectly with his spidery jaw line and he doubled over, clutching his contorted face in pain. I backed up instantly to avoid any possibility of pain he might think of inflicting on me. As expected, his fist came lurching towards my head while his other hand clutched the purple and black spot that was beginning to appear on his face. I danced out of the way smoothly, my torso twisting gracefully away from the path of his punch.
", do you wanna die?!" In his anger, Chanyeol became clumsy. He tripped over the fallen picture frame and landed on his chest among the pieces of broken glass, thin lines of red appearing on his hands. As I retreated back into the confines of my bedroom, I casually aimed my middle finger towards him. His response, a hiss of frustrated humiliation, made me laugh out loud.
Shutting the door in his livid face, I returned to my bed, letting myself collapse on its soft, welcoming surface. The folds of sheets engulfed me. I wanted to drown in them and escape the world. I didn't want to have to deal with people like Chanyeol, who constantly looked down on and degraded me. I didn't want to have to be the victim anymore. I had to take full control of my life.
Get your head screwed on straight. Even without Luhan, you can make this audition. You have Baekhyun. Buckle down, work your off, and get to where you're meant to be. The only thing stopping you now is yourself. Come to terms with reality. Don't get lost in regrets.
Push forward, look to the future, and make history.
sorry it's taken so long to update
ive been so busy and stressed and just ugh
i wish i could hibernate...that would be amazing.
this chapter is kinda short, too...but that's cuz it's sort
of a filler...the real juicy stuff is coming up but i didn't
want to make it come TOO soon...so here's semi-filler
thingy for you to enjoy...? i dont even know, guys lol
comment and love forever ^.^ love you all