I didn't bother unpacking. It was my unfortunate wishful thinking that found me gazing out of my new bedroom window, contemplating the idea of going back to Incheon the following day. My luggage lay on the ground at the foot of my bed, unopened. I was beyond miserable. The thought of going home had been so appealing at the time, but now, I would rather listen to my uncle's accusations than stay within a twenty-foot radius of these strangers, including the woman I had once thought to be the perfect mother. I didn't know who she was anymore, with her designer clothes, curled hair, and fake smile. When I left home again, I wouldn't want to remember her like this - married to a cad, mother of guy who refused to associate with me, her real son.
I sat on my unmade bed for over two hours, watching the sun disappear and sink beneath where the sky met the earth. The jealousy that coursed through me was unprecedented. Why couldn't I leave the face of the earth, just like the sun? Why couldn't I routinely disappear from the world's gaze whenever I wanted?
Because you, just like the sun, have obligations. People have expectations of what you should do and who you should be. I'm sure the sun would like to quit its job and never rise again. But people want and need the sun, so the sun must stick with its routine. Don't complain. You and the sun have a lot more in common than you think.
I sighed and collapsed, letting my head slam against the soft support of my pillow. I was exhausted, more so mentally than physically. I was tired of being forced to deal with people that merely made my life more complicated than necessary. I was tired of always being tread on by people who thought they were the and so above the rest of us. I was tired, ready to fall into blissful dreams and escape from reality, but something was preventing me. Chanyeol's words invaded my mind as soon as I came within an inch of sleep.
" That's right, the one that loves beating up your boyfriend. Kyungsoo and I go way back. Anyway, I have some news for you. I'm not going to let you beat me out of a chance of being scouted by SM."
That mother-er actually thought he could get away with calling Luhan a ? I had no qualms about punching Chanyeol in the face. So what if Luhan was gay? So what if he liked guys? Like it was completely normal for him to plaster his walls with pictures of Taemin...
Hypocrite, I thought as my eyes began to close, my mind drifting off into some unknown dreamland where I didn't have to worry about punks like Chanyeol and Kyungsoo; where Luhan and I had made it into SM; where my mom was herself again; where I was truly living my dream.
My eyes flew open as the deafening sound of my ringtone slashed through the silence of the night. I jumped off the bed, nearly falling on my face as I hurried to my jacket, which hung on the back of the bedroom door. I reached into the jacket pocket and pulled out my phone, which I flipped open to end its continuous screeching. Chanyeol would probably barge in at any minute and beat my for disturbing him and his Taemin .
"Hello?" I squinted through the darkness, finding my way back to my bed. The sun had disappeared completely, making it impossible to see a thing. My leg collided with the edge of the bed and I cursed loudly. Luhan's offended voice woke me from my incoherence immediately, forcing me to clear the bleary sleep from my eyes.
"There's no need to curse at me," Luhan said quietly. "Just tell me that you don't want to talk to me. I'll understand."
"No, Lu, sorry," I said through clenched teeth, collapsing back onto my bed and rubbing the bruise on my right leg, which was already the size of dumpling. The aching faded slowly as I massaged my abused leg. "I just ran into my bed, that's all. What's up?"
"Are you okay?" Luhan's voice was shocked. I had to chuckle, the cluelessness of my best friend suddenly the most wonderful thing I had experienced all day. "Go get some ice!"
"I'm fine," I said hastily, switching the phone to my other hand and pressing it back against my ear. I'd just seen him that morning, yet it blew my mind how wonderful it felt to listen to his voice. This wasn't my home. My home was at the academy with Luhan. "How is everything?"
"You'll never guess what happened today!" His voice was excited, boiling with the anticipation of my reaction to whatever news he had in store for me. I rolled my eyes, thinking to myself that whatever had gotten him so riled up was probably just another good grade on a dance assessment. I tried not to get my hopes up for anything spectacular, though curiosity lingered, refusing to leave me.
"You got another perfect score on Ms. Oh's dance assessment? That's not very exciting, you know. You always ace them."
"No, that's not it," he said through the phone. I could almost see the smile that was so obviously present in his voice, which trembled with excitement. "It was the funniest thing! So right after school, I was walking home with Sehun and some guy came up to us. He had a suit on and he looked super important. He even had those shades on that you only see in dramas! Anyway, he said he was from SM and asked Sehun if he would consider becoming a trainee!"
"Wait, what?" I hadn't prepared myself for that. Sehun? SM? Since when did Sehun possess any desire to go into entertainment, let alone the ambition required to cope with being a trainee. He would always be sleeping in class, a reasonable explanation for his forever-droopy eyes. Why would he get scouted without a legitimate audition? I refused to admit to myself that I was jealous of how easily he had snuck his way into the company I wanted to be part of for so long. It was impossible to deny, though.
"You should have been there when Kyungsoo found out," Luhan's voice shook with restrained laughter. "He was so mad, he forgot to beat me up. He threw his books out of a dorm window and got a detention."
In spite of myself, I joined in Luhan's laughter, the smile that appeared on my face feeling unnatural and unfamiliar. As long as Kyungsoo didn't beat me, I was completely fine with Sehun beating both of us. I could just imagine Kyungsoo's reaction, which sent me into an endless stream of giggles and hiccups. Luhan's high, keening laughter could be heard through the phone.
"I bet he was pissed," I said simply, the laughter finally dying. I was too exhausted to try and let loose anymore of the laughter that was still bottled up inside me. "So what happens now?"
"Sehun said he would ask his mom. I'm guessing she'll say yes. They don't have much money, so I guess if Sehun becomes a star, it'll benefit their whole family. Why would she say no? Anyway, he said he would call me to let me know what his mom says. Keep your phone on," he warned, his tone becoming instantly serious. "I'm going to call you tomorrow."
"Sure thing, Lu," I said, amused. "Oh, wait, I have to tell you something. My mom got married."
"What?!" I nodded to myself in approval at Luhan's reaction. "To whom?!"
"To a ," I said simply. "His son is an even bigger , though. The kid's weird as hell. I'm pretty sure he's a SHINee fan boy. And guess what? He's friends with Kyungsoo. According to him, they're both going to beat our asses out of the SM audition." I decided to leave out the part where he called Lu a .
"I can see why they're friends," Luhan said, anger brewing beneath the soft surface of his voice. "Jongin, we have to beat them. No matter what. Promise me that we're going to beat them. Promise."
"I promise," I said, more to myself than to him. If they beat us, I was pretty sure nothing would be able to stop me from murdering the pair of them. The thought of us not making it made me clench my hands into fists. We were going to win over them. We had to.
"Keep out of Kyungsoo's way," I warned, adding a note of finality to my last words. "He'll use any excuse to beat you up now that it's you and me up against him and my stepbrother. Be careful."
"You worry too much. I can take care of myself."
"Fine," I muttered. "Hanging up now. Talk to you later, Lu."
"Okay. 'Night, Jong!"
Oh. My. God.
"...No, Lu. Just...no."
"What?! There's nothing wrong with that! You're my best friend! I'm allowed to love you as much as I want!"
"Oh God, okay. Lu, that's gay."
"What's wrong with gay?" Luhan's voice turned defensive. .
"That's not what I meant," I said hurriedly, lifting my hand instinctively to wave in contradiction. "There's nothing wrong with being gay. C'mon, Lu. You're my gay best friend. If I were homophobic, do you think I'd still be friends with you?"
"I guess not..."
"Good. I'll talk to you later. Bye."
"....Okay, sorry. Bye."
hahaha i sort of cracked myself up
with this last part...poor luhan...kai, you
need to show lulu your love! or else he will...
hold up...spoiler alert...pretend i didn't say that
anyway, hope you enjoyed this incredibly
short chappie! i'll update asap!
forever enjoy and comment!
oh, btw, check out my oneshot, if you
are willing.. It's called "The Smell of Fear."
It was originally suju oriented, but I did a lukai
version. hope its not too disturbing for you!