Six-thousand-Seven-Hundred and eighty-nine. That’s how far away she was on the queue for the ticket. The approximate time for her to get through, as it showed, was about another twenty minutes; in another twenty minutes, she would also be getting off work. 

But Belen Torres was determined to get her ticket somehow, even if it meant she had to stay over time at work and watch her manager’s face change, seeing her still there. She was determined to get her ticket even if she had to sell a kidney and sacrifice her first born child.  

Because she had waited for this moment for the past five years.

“Tsk, tsk!” A voice, presumably Faye’s, came over the other side of her cubicle, followed by her burnt blond bangs and half her face. Her eyes were visibly teary from staring at the screen for too long (Or breaking into tears because of how far off she was in the ticketing queue. “Did you get in yet?” She wanted to know.

Belen assumed she could see it all on her face. “Don’t talk, don’t say another word”

“I’m the seven thousandth, six hundredth-,”

“I said don’t talk, Faye,” Belen muttered under her breath. When she was concentrating this hard, even the smallest, minor sound of a pin drop became a major inconvenience. Faye was her best friend now, and they were in this together, in this massive blood bath of ticketing. But its a matter of survival at times like this; it was either Faye or her. And Belen believed it had to be her. Faye was a multi. She liked dozen other groups who’s names sounded like quadratic equations. And Belen liked only the one.

The one who’s concert ticketing that she just got through to-,

“Aah!” Belen screamed, staring wide eyed at the screen, the endlessly turning loading wheel. It went on for a second, two seconds, five seconds as she stared at it, not daring to blink lest she missed it. But she was finally led into the seat selections only to find out they were all-,

“Sold out!”

“What!?!” Faye’s high pitched scream, Belen assumed, reached right past their manager’s room. She rounded their table like a rabid animal, pushed her aside and screamed at the screen of sold out seating once more. 

“That doesn’t make sense! It hasn’t been three minutes!”

Belen folded her arms on her chest and tried not to break down in tears. She had this whole trip planned. Fly to Korea, take the closest seat possible, the kind of seat where the boys reach down to hold hands of the audience, take their phones, wear their silly headbands and sing to, like star crossed lovers. She imagined him recognising her from miles away, those starry doe eyes that gazed right through to her soul and once stole her heart finding her among 15,000 people. Belen knew she sounded like a delusional fifteen year old fan fiction writer. As cliche as it sounds, what were the odds? It was why she deserved this ticket a little more than Faye. Because Faye did not fall in love with the leader of Infinite. Faye did not spend a whole rainy night with him, sharing bunk beds and banana cues. Faye did not go out seeking for stupid slippers in the storm and held hands with him.

But Belen Torres did. And she wanted to see him once more.

It's crazy how one person could stay hung onto the same man for such a long time. This other colleague of theirs at work got married to the one whom she’d been with for the past three years, and soon after the wedding, they filed divorce because she couldn’t stand him snoring in the night. A friend of her mother, according to the gossip she had shared over a cup of coffee on the weekend, met men every other week, saw them for a while, left them and moved onto the other, like a game, like they were all just pieces of a chess board. Faye had a new bias every two days, and they all grew progressively younger and had progressively uglier group names. She called herself a multi-Stan, but Belen knew she was inclined towards NCT a little more than everybody else. Then there was Belen Torres who always despised men in every shape and form, yet found the only one exception to that in Infinite’s Kim Sung Gyu.

Kim Sung Gyu was kind, he was smart, he was funny, he was very real. He was the epitome of positive energy and optimism, and made the impossible sound possible. But he also had his feet set firmly on the ground, the reality, for him, was never a blur. So she understood him that night when they parted, when they agreed there was nothing they could do about it. That night would always be the same for her, magical. But that didn’t mean she’d ever stop thinking about it. 

Every time he came up on screen, Belen felt a twist in her heart so painful and she’d think about the injustices of life and lost chances. They say some people meet the right people in the wrong circumstances, and that’s what Kim Sung Gyu was for her. Her lucky charm that came into her life the wrong way and the wrong time, told her that he liked her, only to return to that massive, endless world. When she saw him on the screen and on the stage now, he was a celebrity and she was one of the millions of fans around the world. Nobody knew what happened that night in Manila five years ago, nobody had a clue about the storm, the animal slippers and store bought banana cues that tasted better than any banana cue she has ever had. She knew there was no chance in heaven for that to happen again. Infinite went on a five year hiatus and has returned now with their own company. Sunggyu was their CEO now, carrying not only a group but a whole company on his shoulders. When Sung Gyu enlisted into the army just a few months after they first met, Belen spent weeks pent up in her room, crying herself to sleep like she had actually lost the man she loved. The realisation was slow, that she could be and will always be nothing more than one of their thousands of fans. She had accepted and embraced that reality, somehow. It wasn’t easy, but it has been long. As a fan, Belen has done the most that she could.

For the past few months, Inspirits here in Manila have been going high and low to get them to come here, which, after months of trying, has started to appear a far-off chance. She’s been in the fore fronts of it, collecting as many signatures as she could, keeping up with the numbers and statistics, getting more people to join, holding giveaways, organising meet-ups like it was her life’s work. Years back, Belen wouldn’t have, for once, imagined herself involved in these kpop stuff. Hell, she had even hated kpop and did not know two things about the fandom dynamics until she met Sung Gyu. Five years later, it was all that she did. She’s far too invested now, invested to the point that she’s even given into her reality of becoming like Faye and adopted a whole bunch of dolls in his name. 

Chama was sitting in her lap the whole time as she was going through the hell’s way of ticketing. He was the first child she adopted, and he took very much after his Father. With white blond hair and the prettiest smiling eyes, he was the exact doll personification of the Sung Gyu that she met five years ago. Sunggyu wasn’t the same shade of blond anymore, but he was the same shade of blond as Chama when she first met him. Belen took Chama with her everywhere she’d go; to work, to lunch outs, to meet her friends and trips overseas. She dressed him in cute little outfits that resembled those of his father; the hoodies, the suits, cute little caps and at some point in his life, a cute little army uniform. Now put in his (In fact, Belen’s) favorite blue hoodie and cute little shorts, Chama was in her lap, probably hopeful and eager to meet his father again. 

The empty seats on her screen somehow screamed lost chances right into her face.

Belen picked up Chama and set him up right infront of the screen. “You see how successful your appa and his brothers are? Sold out!”

Chama did not respond to her, of course. He was just a doll. But he was also the doll of the man that she sometimes really wanted to speak to, and Chama was the only way that she could.

“I guess we won’t get to see your papi after all, Chama-Ssi”

Despite Belen’s downturned lips and tear-filled eyes, Chama remained smiling his cutest, his biggest, happiest, hopeful smile. 

Every time Kim Sung gyu thought about Manila, she was the first one that came to his mind. When he asked what it was for Woohyun, he said that it was the food, although he usually went all over the town, searching for that one korean restaurant that they visited every time they were there. For Myung Soo, it was the photographic scenery, for both Sung Jong and Dong Woo, it was the fans. Sung Yeol said something vague and obscure, he couldn’t really remember what. For Kim Sung Gyu, however, it's Belen, Belen Torres; that one beautiful girl he met over five years ago in the strangest circumstances there could have ever been. For months, he’d thought about it many times, going down there and asking her to return the piece of his heart she stole from him.  

If Sung Gyu was to be honest, everything about that incident 5 years ago was pretty much forgotten and lost in the ashes of the past few years of his eventful life. So many things happened back then, that he couldn’t recount anything that remained pretty much a blur in the back of his mind. His time in the military stretched out forever, only to return and learn that his agency had abandoned him. The journey since then was slow and arduous, like dragging his foot that’s been chained down by a dead weight; the uncertainties surrounding continuing his group, what the other boys wanted to do, what his fans wanted, what his agency wanted, what he wanted. Buried in all those struggles, queries and heartbreaks was the most magical night of his life. It took five years for them to rise to the surface again, and that was when the managing director of the Infinite Company presented him with the list of their upcoming tour stops.

There were eleven in total. The usual stops were in East asia; Seoul, Busan, Yokohama, Taipei, Hong Kong, and Macau. In addition to that, there was Singapore, Kuala Lumpur, Bangkok, Jakarta and finally, Manila, Philippines. Seeing the name of the city itself sparked the existence of a memory so distant, buried in the core of him like a hidden little treasure. He’d sworn to take it to his grave, he remembered. And so he tried not to let his excitement show, while in his mind, he recalled that name over and over again.

“This is a comprehensive list, doable” He commented, setting the list of cities aside. “But we still have to contact organisers of each country, we can’t afford anymore mishaps like the last time”

This series of concerts, their Asia tour, was months of planning in the works. There were multiple discussions with event organisers of different countries, telephone conversations and zoom calls deep into the night; struggles with language barriers and miscommunications that cost them a bit and cancellations of concerts, reschedules and postponements. While Sung Gyu believed that they had to spend some to earn some, as the CEO, he also had to think in the sense of profits and viability.

“The organisers are the same as the previous organisers from your solo concerts. As for the newer stops, I have received written confirmations of commitment, but I will definitely get them in touch with you”

Sung Gyu nodded, nodded and nodded, flipped to the next page of the document and scanned the list of organisers. He recognised most of them, and he also knew by experience that they were reliable, except for the South East Asia stops, only because he hadn’t had concerts there, group or solo, in many, many years. He ran his hand along the list of names, and stopped, his fingertip turning pale by the pressure of his hand, right at the name of the organiser from Manila. It’s crazy how deep and far his recollection went. It was as if that day was photographed and framed in his mind. He knew that company all too well, because he’d fallen head over heals once, with one of their representatives.

“Daehyunnie” Sung Gyu called, acutely conscious of what he was doing. “Does the Manila stop offer Fan benefits?” He knew that Taipei, Hong Kong and Macau stops offered fan benefits as they were all the same organisers, so did Yokohama as concerts there had a different dynamic altogether. But he wasn’t sure how Manila worked. Although he will never admit it to his managing director, Sung Gyu was determined to create the opportunity for his fans from the philippines as well. No other particular reason, of course. Just to give his fans from there…something nice.

“For now, there are no decisions like that, I believe”

“Hmm” Sung Gyu nodded, and tried to flat out a crease on the document. “Can you put me through with them so I could discuss that?”

Dae Hyun diligently wrote that out, while muttering to himself, on his notepad. “Sure, that can be arranged”

“Okay” He let out a heavy breath.

“And Sung Gyu-ah, speaking of the philippines-,”

“Hm?”

Daehyun hurriedly took out his tablet computer and clicked away a few times until what appeared to be Infinite’s twitter page opened up. A few more clicks, and their usual yellow and black came up. It took a second for him to realise it was a fan made artwork. Daehyun gave him a better look of it by handing him the tablet computer.

“I came across this while scanning our hashtag engagements. A lot of it came from the Philippines. I did a little more digging, and this is what came out”

“Infinite in Manila?” Sung Gyu read out the other hashtag and looked up, a little confused. Sung Gyu was not the most tech-savvy person out there, and frankly he did not understand how this hashtag business worked. 

He narrowed his eyes. “We didn’t announce the Manila stop yet, right?” Manila was their last stop of the Asia tour, and the SEA stops were anyway yet to be announced.

“No, not yet. But there is a massive demand coming from the philippines. There’s a lot of social media engagement from there, they have their own hashtag, and not only that-,”

Daehyun reached out and opened up what seemed to be a google form. “They also have a demand survey form. The last time I checked, the organisers of this event has collected over a thousand signatures from interested participants”

“Didn’t Woohyunnie go there recently?” Sung Gyu recalled that time when Woohyun, his band mate, accepted what had to be one of the most outrageous performance offers, an opportunity to perform at the Miss Universe stage. It was followed by another much important cause. Both times, Woohyun shared with them that the enthusiasm from the fans from the Philippines was really commendable.

“Yes, and from during his visit, we got this video too”

Some more clicking, and soon it was a video of a bunch of fans with placards reading ‘Infinite in Manila’; he could also hear them singing their newest released song. The video was a little dark, taken from a distance. But Sung Gyu found himself doing the craziest possible thing. He paused the video for a second and tried to scan every single one of the faces, searching for just the one. It has been five years, true. But he will never forget her even if he tried to.

“I think fan benefits will be well-received from them if we include that” Daehyun was saying while he tried zooming out on the faces of the fans. “You’d imagine the number of fans would have diminished with the newer generation of groups, but you have remained solid there, Sung gyu. Well done!”

“They’re so cute” Sung Gyu muttered, mostly to himself, but he had to say it out loud. “They definitely deserve the fan benefits”

“I’ll put the organisers in contact with you”

“Please do” Sung Gyu sighed, handing the tablet computer back to him. 

He imagined her to be there, Belen Torres. He imagined she was one of the many faces on the screen, and one of the many faces he would see when they go to Manila in another two months. He knew it was the furthest and the closest he could get to her. But that had to be enough.

Fate was the craziest thing, because how would things like this happen otherwise? Belen did not know whether to laugh or cry about the cruelty of all of this. Maybe she was god’s least favourite. Maybe god hated Belen just like the people at her workplace hated her. Maybe the whole world hated her. There was no other explanation to this travesty.

“I cannot believe I’m getting to see Infinite! No hustle and bustle! Just close and nice viewing in peace!”

Faye’s voice was an irritating screech of a bored mouse at this point, and Belen only wanted to mute her out at least until this mishap was over. How come Faye ended up with the best opportunities possible when the one who deserved it more was her? But fate was cruel, alright. It was cruel to Belen, because their manager put up Faye instead of her to lead the stage management team of Infinite’s Comeback-again Manila Stop. And what does Belen get? Nothing. Nothing except for organising the transport and equipment and all the logistics, sitting in her boring office table, staring at her boring stupid screen, answering her stupid calls, not once getting to see them up close.

Belen may or may not say it out loud, but she deserved to see them a lot more than Faye. Faye liked all those new groups with weird names, why couldn’t she get appointed to stage-manage for concerts of one of those groups instead? 

But Belen didn’t want to risk outing her precious little secret by throwing the hissy fit over this unfair arrangement. All she could do was purchase the best and the closest seat she could get at the concert (Because once the pre arrangements were done and handed over to the logistics department, her admin work was complete) pull all strings possible to get herself into the fan benefit group photos, and longingly stare at Sung Gyu, hoping to god he still remembered her.

Whis is far-fetched, and Belen understood that too. It’s been five years. Five years. Sung Gyu had done millions of things during those five years; from solo acts to musicals to concerts to variety shows. He changed agencies, set stones to new ventures and started all over. Among all the memories he would have garnered during those five years, the events from Manila five years ago must be miniscule, non-existent. Belen was pretty sure that if she went and asked if he remembered Belen Torres, he would make a face of utter confusion and go “Who?” Then he’d call security on her.

“Anyway, I’ll try to get the best tickets for you” Faye was saying from the other side of the cubicle. “The one in the very front, in arm's length, to the point they could see right into your eyes-,”

“Right on top of the stage, you mean?” Belen put in begrudgingly and Faye snorted from the other side.

“The best seat, I mean the best seat”

Belen gave it a little more thought. Being the one leading the stage management team, Faye was pretty much overlooking the entire concert’s arrangements. She could help her get a good ticket, alright. She was also very chummy-chummy with Dani from sales and often got drinks with him. And Belen knew that the Sales department also handled the fan benefits, which also means, maybe, just maybe, she could-

“Faye”

“Yes?” Faye’s head appeared from the top of the partition. 

Belen thought of the best offer possible for the negotiation. “If I give you the Nam Woohyun POB from the Everline albums, would you get me into the Fan Benefits?”

There were two things that she could pull off to lure Faye into doing anything. One was POBs, the other was concert tickets.

“Wait, you got the Everline POBs?”

“Yup” Belen nodded proudly. 

Months of savings went into that, which won her not a video call with the boys (She’d have died on the spot if she ever did) but an album signed from all of them. She set it up on her shelves of all Infinite things and longingly stared at Sung Gyu’s signature, trying to remember the feel of his hand in hers. 

“And you didn’t even tell me?”

Belen made a face. “Why would I  tell you about buying a bulk of albums?”

Faye huffed unnecessarily and came around their tables towards her. “You don’t have to tell me you got the albums, but you have to tell me what POBs you got!”

“One Woohyun, two Myung Soo’s and a Sung Gyu” (Which she keeps in her wallet as if she was a victorian wife carrying a grainy photo of her husband who went to the war) 

“Okay, give me Woohyun, I’ll tell Dani to put in your name”

Belen was surprised Faye didn’t even take two minutes to think this through, which was something that one would ideally think through a little more. 

“Really? You would do that?” Belen got up from her seat.

“Of course! Anything for my favorite Infinite fan” Faye pouted and blinked a several times, acting all annoying and cute. As irritated as Belen was by this, she was still thankful for the offer. 

“You’re a weirdo” She said as she stepped in and squeezed her into a hug. 

“But you love me” 

Faye was getting a little too bold these days, what with all this uncalled affection. Belen knew it was mostly about the Woohyun POB. But she didn’t mind it all that much, really. They were in this together, Faye and herself. And if Belen was in Faye’s place, she would do this for her too.

“Don’t forget the photocard, my lovie” Said Faye as she pulled away. Belen rolled her eyes, realising that she had willingly put herself into this trap. But then again, it was okay. It was more than okay.

Because she was going to see her most favourite person in the world. 

After Faye returned to her cubicle with an annoying little skip, Belen turned around and picked up Chama who was still smiling the widest and happiest he could.

“Chama-Ssi! You will finally get to meet your Papi soon!!”