He still didn’t know what title to put on Chanyeol when it came to the taller male’s place in his life, but they were closer now than they had ever been. Baekhyun didn’t flinch away from his touches anymore, which had increased tenfold. He didn’t fear what it was like to be this close to someone again. They spent every night together again, lounging on the floor and laughing, talking more openly about their pasts than they ever had before.
 

Baekhyun learned how Chanyeol had cut his hair in the bathroom at school when he was seven because another kid dared him to. He had done such a bad job that his parents had to give him a buzz cut so it would all grow out evenly. He told Chanyeol about the way he had run away from home at thirteen when he realized he liked men, afraid his parents would disown him. They never did, they loved him. 
 

Kyungsoo and Minseok always gave him knowing glances and during the day when they would hang out at the nurses’ station. They called him names like lover boy and told him that he should just go ahead and get a move on before Chanyeol and he died of old age. He told them over and over he didn’t think of Chanyeol that way. Chanyeol and he were best friends of some sort, someone he just wanted to hang out with all the time. Someone who made his heart skip a beat with simple sentences. Normal best friend .

Observing Kyungsoo and Jongin or Jihyo and Sana was a rough experience for him. He loved when they all sat at a large table together for a meal and he could see just how much the two couples cared for each other. He felt weird when he realized Chanyeol and he acted the same way. He didn’t think he would ever be ready for something like that. Despite his doubt, his fingers fiddled with his ring less and less. His mind became more and more clouded with thoughts of Chanyeol. He started to crave when they would be together and night, sitting so close to each other that their legs touched. Many nights he found himself tinkering with the idea of scooting even closer, pulled to Chanyeol like gravity pulled him to the earth. 

Were he and Chanyeol like the others? He pondered it over often at night after Chanyeol left to sleep, staring at the ceiling as he lay in bed. Chanyeol did touch him in similar ways, though they never kissed and rarely hugged. He still would let his hand fall against Baekhyun’s lower back as they walked, or hold his hand when guiding him somewhere. He’d never forget how it had felt when Chanyeol hugged him from behind on the roof, how safe he felt in that moment. How warm Chanyeol’s chest had been against his back.
 

He would get lost in his thoughts, watching the way Jongin also put his hand on Kyungsoo’s lower back when they walked. He noticed the way Jihyo and Sana looked at each other with this emotion in their eyes that he hadn’t felt in so goddamn long. He didn’t know how to feel when he would see the way that Kyungsoo softened at the sight of his boyfriend, knowing that his guard went down the moment Chanyeol walked into the room. Romance had made him weak for so long, he had fought so hard to become hardened to the idea.
 

They stayed glued at the hip every day for the next week. Chanyeol would scoop him his food again, and walk him to and from meals. They would spend mornings after breakfast up on the roof, sitting in the chairs near his garden even though nothing had been planted. They just wanted to spend a few moments every day feeling like the world around them was normal. One time Chanyeol had reached across and intertwined their fingers without saying a word as if testing the waters. Baekhyun didn’t break the silence but he didn’t pull away either. A comforting yet confusing middle ground. 
 

Chanyeol was going to leave soon to scavenge and it scared Baekhyun more than he would admit out loud. Baekhyun tried not to think about it often, though he found his mind drifting there at night. Chanyeol had been out plenty of times, he was one of the best scavengers if not the best in the hospital. There was a reason he went on every single trip. Before the outbreak he had explored national parks galore, trekking through mountains and deserts. Of course that was before he had become prey to undead hunters. This was the furthest they’d ever gone to scavenge since Baekhyun moved in and it was uncharted territory for them. Cities had gotten so dangerous so fast due to the high populations, Baekhyun had spent two years doing his best to completely avoid them. It was too dangerous, but it also wasn’t his place to say no. 

“Baekhyun, what are you thinking about?” They were laying on the tile floor, Baekhyun’s head laying on Chanyeol’s chest as he stared at the wall beside them. This was the first time they’d ever really done something like this. They leaned against each other while sitting up occasionally, and Baekhyun had fallen asleep once with his head on Chanyeol’s shoulder but this was different. Chanyeol’s fingers were combing through Baekhyun’s hair, his other arm holding him tight. Chanyeol was leaving in the morning. Maybe that’s why they had found themselves this close. Subconsciously, they were getting more and more upset about being apart.

 
“I’m afraid for you to leave. You’re going so far. The last city I was in was so overrun, Chanyeol. It’s such a dangerous trip.” Baekhyun muttered, he tilted his head a bit so he could look up at the younger man with a pout. 

“Junmyeon is very skilled and Sehun showed a lot of potential in his last run. We’re a good team, we’ll be back before you realize I’m gone.” Chanyeol was trying his best to reassure Baekhyun but it wasn’t working. He would realize Chanyeol was gone the second he walked out of the door. He’d feel it in his chest as if a piece of himself had gone too.
 

“If something were to happen to you I would never know, I would never get closure. I’d have to live the rest of my life without any piece of you and I don’t know if I can take that. Chanyeol, I need you beside me.” Baekhyun was speaking softly, never lifting his head from its place on Chanyeol’s chest. These were emotions he didn’t usually vocalize but he couldn’t stop himself. He swore he heard Chanyeol’s heartbeat pick up against his ear. He watched as Chanyeol’s gaze dropped down to his lips, just for a second, before meeting his eyes again.  
 

There was silence for a moment before Chanyeol was moving from underneath him, shifting around to sit up. Baekhyun mimicked his actions, face puzzled. Was Chanyeol upset he had been that forward? Had he said too much? 
 

Chanyeol reached behind to work on the chain around his neck, and Baekhyun sat there staring at him with the same lost look on his face. Chanyeol removed the chain and leaned over, hooked it around Baekhyun’s neck, and let the ring fall onto his chest. Baekhyun felt like he couldn’t breathe for a moment. “What are you doing-”
 

“I want you to have it. If something happens to me I want you to have it to remember me. If nothing happens to me, I still want you to have it. It’s special to me, and so are you.” Chanyeol’s voice was just as soft as his own for once, his words didn’t come out as confidently as usual, but they still felt so genuine and caring. Baekhyun touched the ring, unable to say anything in return other than a quiet thank you. 
 

They fell asleep together on the floor, Baekhyun’s head back on Chanyeol’s chest. The taller’s arm wrapped around his waist to keep him close. Baekhyun dreamt that Chaneyol had followed through with his glances and finally kissed him. 

---

Chanyeol left as soon as the sun rose. Baekhyun had been half awake when Sehun came in looking for him, he had barely felt the way Chanyeol his cheek, hesitated to pull away from his body. He barely felt it but he doubted he was going to forget it for the rest of his life. It didn’t make his stomach feel sick anymore, instead, he felt warm. He was just going to have to be patient for a week, Chanyeol was going to come back to him and things were going to go right back to normal.

The first night alone Baekhyun had planned to just go to sleep and start his new temporary routine. He did not expect his door to come open and for Kyungsoo and Minseok to be carrying pillows and blankets in without an invitation. He also didn’t mind the company. He did mind however when he realized that they had planned an entire intervention for him.      

“You’re in love, Baekhyun.”

This time he might be sick. He was never good at confrontation. These were his friends and they were doing it out of the care in their heart but he still felt a bit attacked. They had sat him down on the floor, questioned the ring around his neck, and now they were doing their very best to convince Baekhyun of his feelings. Part of him felt like they might be right and yet he was too scared to come to terms with it. 

 
“He’s just my best friend. We just… hang out and that’s it, and that's all I want.” Baekhyun’s words couldn’t even convince himself. Deep down he was questioning if that was the truth or if he had deeper feelings for Chanyeol. If he didn’t then what was that dream last night? Why had he almost closed his eyes and lifted his head when Chanyeol stole a look at his pout? His heart fluttered so much when Chanyeol leaned in to place the chain around his neck, the proximity nearly sending him into a heart attack. 
 

“Are you trying to lead him on?” Kyungsoo was always one to go the harsher, tough-love route. Baekhyun questioned this too. Sure, purposely this was not his intention but was he doing it without even realizing it? 

Chanyeol had acknowledged where Baekhyun’s comfort point ended and had never asked him for anything more. He had been so patient, so gentle, and thoughtful with even the smallest of touches. There had been a couple of points over the past week where Baekhyun thought they might kiss and yet Chanyeol never closed the gap, waiting for Baekhyun who always ended up shying away.  Everything they did was mutual and slow and consensual. But it did seem Chanyeol wanted more than he was asking for. More than Baekhyun was giving him. Baekhyun wanted to tell his friends that he was tired and that he didn’t want to talk about this. Not now, not ever. But the way his mind started to question his intentions… he needed answers too. 
 

“I’m not trying to lead anyone on. I spent so long sure that I was going to love Jinho and only Jinho for the rest of my life.” Baekhyun leaned down to place his head in his hands. “After I lost him I had to deal with so many emotions. I don’t want to replace him. I don’t want to put my guard down in such a dangerous world. I don’t want to lose someone like that ever again.”
 

“Baekhyun, he's been gone for over two years now. It’s okay to love him forever, he was your fiancé. Nobody will ever replace him, but it’s okay to love someone else too. ” Minseok spoke this time, and Kyungsoo hummed in agreement. They both stared at him with sympathy and he hated it, but he knew they meant good. He was stuck on someone who had been dead for so long and here was this man who cared so much for him, yet he couldn’t pull the trigger.
 

“Baekhyun, what does Chanyeol mean to you?” Kyungsoo had changed his tone some. Baekhyun wondered if it was pity.

“Chanyeol means more to me than anyone else.” He answered, not missing a beat to admit it. That was something that he was genuinely sure of. “I would do anything for him.”
 

“And what did Jinho mean to you?”

He remained quiet. The answers were the same, he knew it, they knew it. It didn’t need to be vocalized to be answered. His silence was more than enough. He felt the same ing way for Chanyeol as he had for Jinho and he knew it. Deep down he had known it for a while but it was still terrifying.

“I don’t know what to do.” His voice sounded desperate, weak. His eyes burned as he tried to hold back the tears that threatened to roll down his cheeks from frustration. “What if he doesn’t feel the same way? What if he gets upset that I’ve taken this long to say anything? I don’t want him to feel like I was leading him on. I wasn’t trying to. I’m just so damn scared.”
 

“He knows that.” Minseok was right. Chanyeol was smart and trusting, some days it seemed like he knew Baekhyun better than Baekhyun knew himself. He wouldn’t ever assume that Baekhyun had some intention of leading him on. He’d already respected Baekhyun this whole time and treated him so delicately. Tried so hard not to scare Baekhyun away. The fear still settled in the back of his mind.

“Do you think I should confess?”

“Yes.” Both men answered him at the same time.

“Maybe when he comes back I… I’ll think about it while he’s gone, okay?” At this point even though he was scared, Baekhyun just wanted the confrontation to be over. He spent the rest of the night wide awake in bed, Chanyeol clouding his mind in different ways than he was used to. He imagined when it would feel like to kiss him, to tell him how he loved him. To hear Chanyeol, hopefully, say it back. The butterflies in his stomach had come alive and he felt like a teenager again, daydreaming about his first crush. 

He only had to wait seven days and Chanyeol would be home.