Author's Note: if you didn't read the prologue please do it's short and part of this might be lost on you without it <3 thank you for reading!

He tried his best not to show it on the outside, but mentally Baekhyun was a mess. Chanyeol didn’t spend even a fourth of the time he usually did with Baekhyun anymore. He was never in his room or at the nurses’ station. Most days he missed breakfast or came in so late that Baekhyun had already finished eating. Baekhyun tried his best to keep up with his routine, pretending the sudden distance didn’t hurt and confuse him. Minseok and Kyungsoo had been right by his side the second he sat down alone for the first time for breakfast. Jongin, Jongdae, and Nayeon followed suit.

It wasn’t that he didn’t appreciate what they were doing for him, refusing to let him be alone. He just wanted Chanyeol. He felt like a part of him had gone missing. Honestly, he didn’t even understand why he was being avoided. Yes, he had snapped at Chanyeol, but this level of cold shoulder seemed overbearing. He regretted that night so much in so many different ways. He regretted becoming so upset and hated how he had come off as ungrateful for the way that Chanyeol had been treating him. He was so unbelievably grateful for everything Chanyeol had done for him yet Baekhyun basically repaid him with a slap to his face. Most of all he hated how he had pulled himself from Chanyeol’s warm embrace. Now he spent his days longing to feel it just one more time.

“I keep trying to apologize to him but every time I go to find him he’s never around. I’m so hurt and so mad at him at the same time for not seeming interested in fixing this.” He was on the floor of his room, this time joined by Kyungsoo. Jongin had gone out with Chanyeol and a couple of others to scavenge, so the two were having a makeshift sleepover.

“Maybe he just needs space away from you before he can let himself try and figure out what he wants.” Kyungsoo was on his back, staring up at the ceiling in thought. “It’s obvious he cares about you, he probably misses you just as much.”

“Well he’s dumb and he needs to let me apologize.” This is why he needed Kyungsoo’s logical thinking for the night. He wasn’t the best at piecing things together when he was emotional.

“Baekhyun, listen. If he doesn’t talk to you in a week I will ask Jongin to personally threaten him. Is that what you want to hear?” This made Baekhyun snort, but he didn’t reply. He didn’t know what he wanted other than to sit on the tile with Chanyeol and eat and act as if nothing had happened. He wanted someone to walk him to meals and wait for him to wash the dishes so that he also didn’t have to walk back alone. He wanted to stop pretending like he didn’t notice Chanyeol’s care for him.

He felt alone again. Despite being surrounded by friends who were doing their best to show that they cared for him and that they weren’t going to leave him. He still felt alone in a way that nobody except for Chanyeol could change. He didn’t know how to handle that. Chanyeol was a piece of him now, no matter how he wanted to look at it. No matter if he wanted to admit it to himself or his friends. He wasn’t full without Chanyeol in his life.

The next morning they enjoyed eggs again. He worried so much about any of them going back to the farm and he wanted to do as he usually would and playfully scold Chanyeol for going back. He just couldn't. He couldn’t even bring himself to try and go up to apologize anymore. He didn’t know what he would do if faced with any more rejection. He would just have to leave Chanyeol alone. He would surround himself with his friends. Maybe he would pick up a new hobby. He could accept Sana and Jihyo’s offer for him to have sleepovers in the couple’s room. If he tried hard enough and stayed busy enough, surely he could move on.

That lasted a couple of days. He supposed he had done the best he could, he had tried to move past it. He just couldn’t take it anymore, acting like this wasn’t hurting him like it was. He had to confront Chanyeol about this lack of closure, no matter what the outcome. He came up with a plan to wake up early enough that he could follow Chanyeol, see where he was going in the mornings, and what he was doing when he was trying to stay as far away from Baekhyun as possible.

It was very early when he woke up, the sun had risen just slightly and he could hear movement in the next room over. He tried to be as quiet as he could, dressing himself and waiting until he heard Chanyeol’s door closed. Footsteps faded some and he slowly opened his door, peeking out just in time to see the taller turn a corner. And so the chase began.

Baekhyun moved slowly, pistol in his hand as his paranoia never let him go anywhere without it. His socked feet slid against the floor, not wanting Chanyeol to hear his footsteps from behind. He stayed back far enough to see each move Chanyeol made yet fell far enough behind that he could hide around corners if necessary.

Chanyeol made his way to the staircase and began to climb, confusing Baekhyun more than giving him answers. The only thing up there was the rooftop, everything else hadn’t been quarantined yet. Was that how serious this was? That he would rather sit on a hot rooftop than be anyway near Baekhyun?

They kept climbing, and he started to decide that they really must have been going to the rooftop before suddenly Chanyeol stopped. He froze and squatted down a little, hoping the other hadn’t heard him. He had been trying to go pretty fast as Chanyeol’s longer legs and better stamina made it much easier for him to climb the stairwell. Chanyeol pressed his ear to the door of the fourth floor and pulled his gun before stepping in.

Curiosity killed the cat, Baekhyun thought. That didn’t stop him from holding up his weapon and approaching the door, opening it as quietly as he could. He could hear rustling, and his own heart pounding in his ears. He’d only shot his pistol once and he wasn’t sure he was going to be able to bring himself to pull the trigger again. Still, he moved deeper. The level looked like it was mostly patient beds again, and the more he walked the louder the rustling got. It was coming from a janitor's closet. He prayed it was Chanyeol.

The door suddenly came open and he ducked behind a counter, peeking out to see Chanyeol step out with a bottle of cleaning solution. Why was this man risking his life over weird trivial all the time? He watched as Chanyeol walked further down the hospital floor until there was a loud crashing noise. Suddenly from one of the patient bedrooms emerges a zombie, running straight at Chanyeol from the side, slamming him into the wall. Chanyeol fumbled for his gun, but Baekhyun already had his drawn.

All the hesitation from before was gone, he didn’t need to question anymore if he was going to be too scared to pull the trigger ever again. It took him no time between realizing what was going on and standing up for him to aim and shoot, twice. His head began to spin, heartbeat racing. His knees buckled below him and he felt his body fall to the ground in shock, head smacking against the floor as he passed out.

“Jinho what are you–”

Baekhyun could see Jinho slightly hunched over in their attached bathroom just across the bedroom. He was covered in blood with a large gash in his neck, the whites of his eyes were pure black and he was snarling in Baekhyun’s direction. For just a moment everything was perfectly still until Jinho started in a sprint across the large ensuite.

Fight or flight kicked in and without a single thought Baekhyun raised the gun.

---

Baekhyun woke up in his room, disoriented by the brightness of the sun blasting through his window. His memory was a blur of his flashback and the zombie looming over Chanyeol. His arm was draped over the edge of the bed and his hand felt warm and heavy. He peeked over the edge to see Chanyeol laying on the floor, his arm raised slightly so his fingers could intertwine with Baekhyun’s. His eyes were closed, his breathing deep and slow.

There wasn’t a word or a phrase that could describe exactly what Baekhyun felt at that moment. It was a mixture of relief and worry and something that he knew had to do with the way their fingers stayed laced together even as they had been sleeping. He slowly let go, cursing when Chanyeol’s arm fell against the tile, his big eyes opening in sudden confusion. Baekhyun was still silently peering at him over the side of the bed.

“Baekhyun- oh my god you scared the out of me.” Chanyeol was standing in no time. Baekhyun’s arms crossed over his chest.

“Me?! You ignore me for a week but then you get to come here and hold my hand and act as if I am the one who has done something upsetting here? What the hell were you doing up there Chanyeol?” Baekhyun’s tone was bitter, hurt. He didn’t know what to feel anymore. He loved feeling like someone cared for him in this way again, but he was so sure it could be lost just as easily as it had been the week prior.

“Ignoring you? I’ve been working on a project. I needed a spray bottle and there wasn’t one on this floor I-” Chanyeol sat down on the side of the bed. “You shot that thing, you saved my life. I carried you back down here when you passed out. Sana looked at you and said you were in shock.”

Baekhyun felt like if he was given one more piece of information to process his brain was going to explode. He suddenly remembered the sound of the pistol, his legs buckling underneath him, and the images of Jinho bleeding out on their bedroom floor. He began to cry without even realizing it. This time when Chanyeol hugged him he pressed into it, sobbing and letting everything out that he had been holding in for so long.

“I’ve only ever shot my pistol once and it… was to shoot Jinho, my fiance.” His voice was just loud enough for Chanyeol to hear. “I came home as soon as I heard what was going on. I heard weird noises when I walked in and he wasn’t answering me so I grabbed his gun just in case someone had broken in. He was in our bathroom, he must have been attacked outside and went in to try and stop his bleeding.”

Chanyeol reached out to squeeze his hand. He had to take a couple of deep breaths as he replayed the scene in his head. “It wasn’t him. I mean, it was but… but it wasn’t. It had already gotten to him and he started to run at me and I was so scared I didn’t know what to do and I shot him. I sat there for two ing days Chanyeol I didn’t know what to do I didn’t know where to go. Five hours before I had kissed him goodbye to go to work and then everything just changed so fast. I’ve managed not to shoot the pistol since. I must have just had a really bad flashback when I pulled the trigger earlier.”

They sat in another extended silence as they had a couple of weeks ago when they spoke about their rings. This one wasn’t uncomfortable either, but Baekhyun had so many questions he couldn’t let it last. “Why have you been ignoring me?”

“Baekhyun, I promise I haven’t. I mean I thought you might want space but I wasn’t trying to ignore you. I’m so sorry.” Chanyeol curses under his breath. “I should have talked to you. I should have told you I was just going to stay busy until you were ready to talk again.”

“I thought you hated me…”

“Baekhyun I don’t think I could ever hate you.” There's a nervous laugh, and then a sigh. “Are you able to walk? I want to show you something. It’s what I’ve been working on.”

It takes a couple of seconds of standing still and regaining balance but he’s soon able to walk, following close behind Chanyeol. The halls are pretty empty and he figured that everyone was probably in the cafeteria eating dinner. They started to climb the stairs again, and Baekhyun wondered if this time they were going to go all the way to the rooftop.

He guessed right. The sun felt so good on his skin, the breeze cool but not enough to make him shiver. Solar panels lined a large chunk of the roof near a helipad. Chanyeol guided him along until they came upon a small seating area. There were a couple of folding chairs and an umbrella. He walked closer, noticing a weirdly shaped outline of bricks just on the other side. He moved closer to examine it, a long rectangle filled with dirt.

Confusion shifted over his face and he turned back to see a smiling Chanyeol. “What is this?”

“It’s your garden.” Chanyeol had to stop saying things so casually when they were going to make Baekhyun weak at the knees.

“You built me a garden?!” He moved closer to the dirt now, inspecting it, picking up the spray bottle on the floor that was now filled with water. So that’s why Chanyeol had gone into the janitor’s closet. Chanyeol’s arms wrapped around his waist from behind.

“I still don’t have seeds. But now I have a reason to look, yes? You said it was dumb for me to look for seeds when you don’t even have a garden well… now you do.” Chanyeol nodded, staring at the garden with a proud smile.

That wasn’t exactly where Baekhyun had been going with that argument, but he couldn’t bring himself to be upset with that kind of logic. Chanyeol had to scavenge bricks, carry them up the stairs along with the dirt and put it all together. If anybody had ever done anything as thoughtful for him he couldn’t remember it. He supposed it would be okay for Chanyeol to look for seeds, as long as he was careful.

“It’s perfect Chanyeol, thank you. I love it so so much I promise I will take really good care of it.” Baekhyun was almost whispering, still in shock from what he was looking at. A garden. His garden.

“I’m going on a big scavenging trip in a couple of days, checking out part of the city. I’ll keep my eyes peeled for anything you can plant. This seems like an agricultural town so there must be a nursery in the city” The words made Baekhyun’s anxiety come right back. He had already gone a week without Chanyeol in his life and now he was going to have to do it again?

“You’re leaving me?” He spun in Chanyeol’s arms to properly look up at him. His face heated up as he processed the way he’d worded the question. “I mean… you’re going to leave the hospital?”

“Only for a week. Sehun, Junmyeon, and I are heading there. It should be three days there on foot. We’ll spend a day or two looking around and then come right back. I promise I will come back as fast as I can. I’ve missed you so much this past week.” Chanyeol said everything with so much more confidence than Baekhyun did. He wished he could be that cool, wished he could speak his emotions freely.

“I missed you too …” He was worried, but he didn’t want to voice it and cause another argument. He leaned forward until his forehead was against Chanyeol’s chest, just letting himself be held in the peace of the moment. Chanyeol was back now and that was already more than he could ask for.