Chapter 1

All the Times I Held You

 

Disclaimer: In no way the info about debate styles, techniques and the debate motion mentioned here are factual. 

 

 

 

“Excuse me, excuse meeee” Panay ako ng siksik sa mga nakaharang sa hallway. Alam ko namang finals ngayon at maraming manunuod. But seriously, ganito talaga? 

Oh, well. I guess it can’t be helped. The debate club has become more popular after their winning streaks this school year. And with the culmination happening at our home court, mas marami talaga ang may chance na manuod and express their support. Sabi nila, eight years ng walang nauuwing panalo ang school from the global competition. Pero magagaling ang mga bagong members. One was even a transferee from UP na isa sa mga core members nila. I read that from the article na binigay sa akin ni Giselle for backgrounder.  

Ang ganda na kaya ng school niya. I mean, I get that ours is heralded as a center for excellence, pero UP na kaya ‘yon. If it weren’t for ate and dad na both alumni ng Ateneo, UP would have been my choice. Pero ano ba naman ang alam ko dito sa Manila. 

It’s been almost three years at hindi pa rin masyadong sanay ang katawan ko sa polusyon at ingay nito.  

Hindi naman na bago ang paluwas-luwas namin everytime may special occasions na dito namin ginagawa ng family o when I pay my doctor a visit.

Sa wakas at nakalagpas din ako sa nagkukumpulan. Sobrang init ngayong araw, at sawang-sawa na ko sa mga classrooms ko na halos lahat walang airconditioner. Tatambay sana ako ng maaga dito sa Hyundai Hall kaso parang lahat ata naisipan ding magpalamig. 

Pagkarating ko sa may labas ng main door ng auditorium, may dalawang long table para sa registration at mga organizers na nagpapalista ng attendees. Ang dami na palang nagpalista, nakita ko ‘yung name ni Giselle and Somi 10 rows before mine.  

May pinamimigay din na club stickers na may logo at tagline nila. Okay din ‘to a, pwede atang ilagay sa tumbler at mukhang waterproof.  

Feel the speed of thought 

Ang lakas ng tagline. Pero I think walang makakatalo sa tagline ni Shotaro para sa Debate Soc. 

Fliptop ng mga Matatalino. 

‘Di ba? Di ko alam kung magiging proud ako o masarap siyang sabunutan. 

May dalawampung minuto pa bago mag-umpisa ang Fliptop Finals when I suddenly felt my phone vibrate at kinuha ko ito from my shoulder bag.  

 

VP Somi: Wru? Done taking shots of them backstage. Come here na or Gigi’s not going to be happy abt it. 

 

Heto na nga e. I got a little bit sidetracked sa mga pa-stickers dito but I wouldn’t be telling them that. 

 

Winter Kim: Here na sa labas. Grabe kasi siksikan sa hallway di ako makasingit kanina! 

 

VP Somi: Right. We’re here sitting at the front. 

 

Okay. Ang sungit naman nito ni Ms. Vice today. Ano po ba ang meron?  

Dali-dali akong kumaripas papunta sa kanila. I pushed the main door at sumalubong sa akin ang madilim na ambience. The white and yellow lights were focused on the stage. Mayroong dalawang mahabang tables on both sides of the stage that form a wide ‘V’ paharap ng audience. Between them was a separate small table. Para siguro ‘to sa moderator/timekeeper? 

Nasa likod nito ang isang malaking LED screen na sakop ang lapad at taas ng buong stage. Flashing an animation about the Debate Society’s mission and vision, core values, Founder, Pioneers, down to batches, and then alumni who bagged world championships.  

“You’re so tagal ha,” Irap ni Vice Somi sabay bigay sa akin ng isang bottled water at burger, “Eat that ng patago. We don’t want to be escorted palabas”  

“Wow ang sweet naman VP, pero bakit parang ang asim ata ng timpla natin ngayon” Pabiro kong sabi sa kanya nang makaupo na ako sa gitna nilang dalawa. Simple lang din na kumakain si Gigi at nakangiting nagmamasid sa amin. 

“What? I didn’t timpla anything ‘no, I don’t have juice with me kaya I gave you water.” 

“Yes you didn’t timpla anything, but your own timpla, meaning your mood, is maasim. Nag-away ba kayo ni Shoti?”  

“Ugh” 

I laughed. 

“Ayown” Reply ko sa kanya at siya namang pag-gulo niya sa buhok ko. Napatili ako ng onti kaya may mga mangilan-ngilan na tumingin samin. They looked particularly sa mga hawak naming pagkain kaya dali-dali naming nilagay sa paper bag ang mga ito. 

Gosh, sige na lang ako. Willing akong turuan pa siya ng mas matatalinhaga pang Filipino vocabulary para ready siya sa outside world. Isa ‘to sa mga magiging vocation ko this college.  

“You two ha. Win, Focus on the debate. I know I said I’m writing the article pero you and Somi will be establishing the blueprint.” Bilin ni Giselle.  

“Yes po madam President” Siya nga pala ang current EIC ng Student Publication ng school namin. Giselle came here a year earlier than I did. Mas matanda rin kasi siya ng isang taon sa akin. Sobrang idol ko talaga ‘to bata pa lang kami. Elementary pa lang nagsusulat na siya sa school newspaper hanggang sa nagtuloy-tuloy na noong high school. Technical Writing ang forte niya kaya it makes sense that she’s taking Journalism now.  

You can say na she’s the Yin to my Yang sa ganitong aspect.  

Dahil on the other hand, mas okay ako sa free-form and creative writing. Kung siya ang tina-tap for editorials, ako naman ang gumagawa ng music compositions kapag may mga major events like Sci-Awitan at graduation rites. I have notebooks and journals full of written compositions that would probably never see the light of day.  

It’s just the way it is.  

Anyway, kakaumpisa ko lang kasi sa school paper. Halos lahat ng current members, they all started as freshmen. Actually, ako lang ata ang junior na sumali this academic year. Everyone else who tried were freshmen din. I guess I wanted to discipline myself sa technical writing kaya nag-try ako.  

“By the way,” Bulong ko kay Gigi, marami na ang mga nakakapasok at umiingay na ulit, “Ano’ng sabi nila? Susunduin ba nila tayo dito?” 

Lumingon siya sa kabilang gilid ko at patagong tumingin kay Somi, “Yas,” Bulong niya rin sa akin, “Sasama si Shoti coz you know…” 

“Ha? Ano yun?” 

“Psh, basta ang shunga na naman niya. Check mo GC” 

Medyo maliwanag ‘yung screen ko so I dimmed it a little bit. Mahirap na at baka may Mabasa si Somi. 

 

 

Probinsya Things 

Shotaro: Help! Paano mabawasan ang katangahan? 

Jeno: Pagdating sayo pre wala na pagasa 

Shotaro: ..i.. 

                 pakyu 

Gigi: I think wala kayong pag-asa parehas 

          What happened? 

Ning: (2) 

          Sabi ni Jaem imposible daw sayo @Shotaro 

Jeno: hahahahahhaha 

Shotaro: dapat ba sa inyo ako nagtanong? 

               @Gigi, monthsary namin ni Somi mylabs today, I’ve been MIA kanina pa sa kanya pero kasi gusto ko siyang i-surprise.  

                Tapos nakita niya ko with my classmate, si Brie yung blockmate ko, nagpasama kasi ako to get the flowers and cake. 

                 e…  

                 hawak niya yung flowers 

                 *facepalm 

Gigi: Seriously?! 

 

Ning: Ano ba yan Shotaro! Kahit ako siguro iba ang iisipin pag nakita ko kayo  

 

 Jaem: Ang careless pre hahaha 

 

Ning: A so dapat ba maingat, Jaem? 

 

Jeno: guy HHAHAHA huli ka 

 

Jaem: What. Babe iba kasi ibig kong sabihin. 

 

Ning: kay 

           😊 

 

Jaem: I swear! 

 

Shotaro: Uhh, guys? Help? 

 

Gigi: Ang gulo na ha.  

         Sho, just go here ng 6pm sa Hyundai Hall. Andito kami nila Win and Somi, kausapin mo after ng event. 

 

Shotaro: T_T okay 

 

Jeno: I have free tix pala guys for UP fair if you guys wanna come 

 

Ning: Jeno! Save mo kami pliz 

 

Jeno: Ayt 😉 

 

Jaem: Babe? 

            Answer the call 

 

Jeno: Laters guys. @Jaem @Shotaro good luck mga pre! 

 

Ryu: Anyare. Backread lang me.  

seen 

 

 

“Ang shunga ni Sho” Pabulong kong sabi kay Gi after kong matapos basahin ang magulo naming GC. 

“Ssh!” Pabulong din niyang saway sakin. 

 

Winter: Badtrip si VP Soms @Shotaro 

 

Pinakita ko yung ambag ko sa GC kay Giselle at kinurot niya ako ng mahina sa tagiliran. Nagpipigil lang ako ng tawa. Madalas kasi masarap asarin ang pinakabata sa amin. Noong nagka-jowa siya last year, para lang ako proud na tita, ‘yung tipong lalagyan ko siya ng bimpo tapos papakainin ng afternoon snack na monay na may palaman na dirty ice cream. Chill lang naman sila na couple ni Somi. Di ko alam na ganon pala si Shotaro kapag nagka-jowa. Medyo naging mature siya pagdating sa girlfriend niya.  

Hindi bagay kasi siya yung bine-baby namin e! 

“Not helping” Irap ni Giselle sa akin.  

Sige na nga tatahimik na ‘ko. 

“Korny,” Asar ko, “Debrief mo na nga lang ako uli” 

“Did you read the articles na binigay ko sayo?” Tinaasan niya ako ng kilay. 

“Oo naman! I took notes kaya pakita ko sayo,” To prove my point, nilabas ko sa shoulder bag ang notebook filler ko. Pinakita ko sa kanya yung pages, “O diba, aminin mo impressed ka. Ang ganda ganda ng journaling ko ‘no. May bullets pa na iba’t ibang color. Green means somewhat relevant, orange means relevant, red means super relevant!” 

She looked at me unamused, “’Wag na ‘wag kang sasali sa school choir dahil wala kang humility” 

“Ay grabe, wala naman akong balak but, sige it’s their loss” 

 

“The debate will start in 10 minutes, kindly settle into your respective seats and minimize the noise to avoid unnecessary distractions for the participants.” 

 

Rinig namin ang boses na nagmula sa announcer. 

Lumingon kami sa likod at nakita ang patuloy na pagpasok ng mga estudyante. There were cameramen setting up their stuff and gears sa palibot ng hall, all seats were occupied na sa taas, at sa  may pinakabandang gilid nito, naaninagan ko ang pwesto ng mga press at media. May dalawang upuan per broadcaster at lahat may kanya-kanyang camera na dala. No pictures were allowed during the event dahil makaka-abala sa mga participants, most probably sa train of thought nila so siguro for picture-taking ito after the competition proper.  

I didn’t know it would be this big, to be honest. 

May CNN, may Rappler, GMA, ABS, pati ‘yung ibang major online news portals like Vice and Reuters. Mas nararamdaman ko na tuloy ang school spirit. Naks!  

“Let’s focus on the task at hand, Win. This whole shebang is serious kasi pinapatutok ito ni Prof. Kwon.” She said with an earnest voice. 

Wait. Kinabahan naman ako doon. 

“I made you read the articles kasi ikaw ang mag-iinterview sa mga members. Kayo ni Somi. Actually ako initially ang gagawa ng interview part mo, but since I trust your diligence and pagka detail oriented mo, I’ll give it to you as your first big assignment.” 

OC lang talaga ako. Pinabango pa ni Gigi. Heh. That’s why I love her for it.  

May binigay siya na pamphlet na parang bible ata ng Debate Society. Glossy at matigas siya na parang pwede na ring gawin pamaypay if wala kang balak basahin. The front page consists of the logo of their org and then yung tagline na nasa stickers na pinamimigay kanina. Sa likod naman ay ang mga current members for this batch and then may highlights ng mga batches na nanalo sa World Universities Debating Championship – 3 batches since the year it was founded back in 1990 and the last one was back in 2006. 

There were accolades for local competitions, for sure. Last year lang ay sila ang champions sa Philippine Intercollegiate Debating Championship. Pero iba ata ang uhaw ng mga tao ngayon dahil sobrang tagal na nilang hindi nananalo sa global scene. 

Kaya medyo gets ko rin naman. 

“There are three main members for WUDC, since Somi has more experience than you, siya ‘yung magiinterview ng dalawang members. Then sa ‘yo yung isa.” 

I nodded. Nakikinig lang ako ng maigi kay Giselle. I didn’t want to disappoint her and the team and gusto ko rin namang may patunayan sa sarili ko. Kaya I decided this is a make or break for me.  

“Somi will take care of Wendy and Henry, both seniors. And you,” She looked at me, “Will interview Katarina, the junior transferee.” 

Oh.  

“The one originally from UP?” 

“The one originally from UP” pag-ulit ni Giselle. 

“Okay got this, madam Pres.Anything else I need to know?” Tanong ko after I wrote down her full name on my journal. Katarina Yoo, BS Management.  

“Yep, alam nila that they would be interviewed by the school publication and other media outlets right after this so punta kayo ni Somi sa waiting room at the back pagtapos mismo ng awarding. You’ll be the first to go in because we’re the priority. Bring the standard questionnaire with you pero you can opt to ask your own questions. Make sure lang Win ha, na lahat ng tanong mo ay one, relevant sa org and the competition; two, inoffensive; and three, something that will pique the interest of the student body.” 

I jotted it all down.  

“Ilang minutes pala kami pwede sa loob?”  

“You’d be given twenty minutes tops”  

Ah. Pwede naman na. Divide and conquer nalang kami ni Somi siguro. 

“Okay, okay. I got it.” 

I was mentally preparing myself. When this was first cascaded to me by Giselle, akala ko simpleng ‘hi, hello’ at getting to know lang through questions ang mga students from Debate Soc. Comfy pa ako sa thought na ‘yon noong una kasi mga estudyante lang din naman sila katulad ko. So I was thinking of getting to know more people, and possibly meet new friends.  

Pero ngayon. 

Bigla akong kinabahan.  

Bakit ako kinakabahan? 

 

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, we welcome you all here to the most awaited culmination of the World Universities Debating Championship. We would like to thank WUDC body for making things possible and bringing the last fight here in the Philippines. History has been already made when our very own Debate Society leaped greater heights to the finals. And we are honored to have the exemplary students of the Dartmouth College Debate Team here all the way from New Hampshire to compete for the grand spot. Can we give them a big round of applause?” 

 

Nagsimula ang hiyawan at palakpakan para sa magkabilang side. Pinagpapawisan ako sa kaba at excitement para sa team namin. Hindi kasi ako fan ng basketball or any major sports na nilalaban ng school sa UAAP, except na lang sa swimming team, kaya ngayon lang ako nakaramdam uli ng ganitong team spirit. Let alone na first time ko rin na manuod ng debate. Yung iba may dala pang mga banners made from manila paper at cartolina. ‘Yung iba, nagpa-tarp talaga.  

Pinakilala niya ang magkabilang panig. Naunang umakyat sa stage ang mga foreign students from Dartmouth. Dalawang Latina at isang lalaking Asian American. Ganitong ganito ‘yung mga teams na napapanuod ko lagi sa mga movies. Yung tipong  akala mo underdogs pero kapag nagsalita na, it’s over.  

Nagpalakpakan uli matapos silang ipakilala at sumunod naman ang team namin.  

“Next is our very own Debate Society championship contenders. Give it up for Wendy Shon, Henry Lau, and Katarina Yoo” 

Doble ang ingay ng audience ng sila na ang umakyat sa stage. Hindi talaga maiiwasan bilang may homecourt advantage nga kami. Wendy had a short auburn hair and the shortest of the the three. She looked so pretty lalo na at nakakahawa ang ngiti niya. Henry stood next to her, at kumakaway din sa mga tao. And then there was Katarina.  

I already saw her from the articles at sa iba pang pinag-gagagawa kong research about the debate team. But it was different seeing her in person. They were all wearing their formal suit blue navy coats , with the team logo embroidered on them, but it seemed like the suit was made perfectly for her. Her long black shiny hair cascaded smoothly on her shoulders. Hindi tulad ng dalawa niyang teammates, her almond-shaped eyes were focused nowhere in particular sa dulo. Limitado ang ngiti niya at kahit subtle lang, makikita mo sa kanyang mata ang pag-aalinlangan. 

All the same, hindi mo maikakaila na nasa kanya ang attention ng audience. She looked really beautiful. 

They were the complete package. Beauty. Brawn. Brains. 

“Once again I’d like to say how honored we in hosting this competition. Today we’ll be witnessing a British Parliametary style debate. Each team consists of 3 team members, who belong to the Government and the Opposition respectively.” 

The Motion: Prisons should be privatized.  

Dartmouth would be the Government, while our school would be the Opposition. 

Nagsimula sa Prime Minister ng Dartmouth.  

At.. 

Holy shmokes. 

Did I say na ngayon lang ako nakapanuod ng debate? 

What happened next was out of this world.  

They were making their points across very solidly.  

Ang ganda ng first proposition ng Dartmouth sa umpisa.  

Si kuyang Asian American ang nagsimula, at tumayo siya sa may podium sa gitna. 

“Privatizing prisons can reduce prison overpopulation, making the facilities safer for inmates and employees,” Pagbungad niya  

“In 2020, nine state prison systems were operating at 100% capacity or above, with Montana at the highest with 121%. Another nine state systems were operating at 90% to 99% capacity or above. “As governments at every level continue to face financial pressures and challenges delivering basic services, contracting provides a tool that enables corrections agencies to better manage costs, while also delivering better outcomes.” He continued. 

If hindi ka talaga purely committed sa pakikinig, you won’t make it out alive here.  

Kidding! Pero same feels. Kailangan ko atang paganahin ang 50% dormant brain cells ko kasi ang bilis bilis nila magsalita. I can handle my english well, pero kung may mga political jargons, parang pass muna ako. 

Saan sila nakakakuha ng utak para dito? 

And time’s up para sa Prime Minister.  

Next would be the Opposition.   

Si Wendy ang sumunod sa podium. Wearing her bright eye smile at tumingin sa audience bago nagsimulang magsalita.  

The leader of the opposition started her argument saying that private prisons exploit employees and prisoners for corporate gain. 

Ang bilis ng train of thought niya kahit na given na may kodigo bawat isa sa kanila.  

 “According to the World Index 2014 report, Per capita, privately-run facilities had more contraband smuggled in, more lockdowns and uses of force by correctional officers, more assaults, both by inmates on other inmates and by inmates of correctional officers, more complaints about medical care, staff, food, and conditions of confinement, and two facilities were housing inmates in solitary confinement to free up bed space. The findings also highlighted chronic understaffing as the root of many problems…” 

 

Yes! Yes! Yes! 

If we don’t factor the bias here, my point still goes out to Wendy. May laman ang refute niya. 

Sunod-sunod ang arguments and grounds na nilalahad niya. At sunod-sunod din ang pagtanggi niya sa mga points na gustong i-raise ng Government.  

More prisoners than in public prisons. 

Inflated price for basic necessities. 

Lack of per-prisoner savings. 

 

And the list goes on. 

The teams defended their battle cries succeedingly. 

Gulat ako sa isang Latina dahil ang lakas ng boses niya! Parang kulog lang ang peg noong nagsimula siya. May intimidation tactic ata talaga sila dahil mahilig sila sa sigaw. 

Thirty minutes into the debate and I noticed Katarina silently writing down notes and distracting the Government. She raised her hands lalo na kapag may pag-aalinlangan sa speech ng kalaban. She knew when and how to enter a discourse.  Her brows furrowed in deep concentration at napapansin ko ang pag-scrunch ng ilong niya na parang rabbit paminsan-minsan. 

 

As the Opposition Whip, Karina was the last to take her stand sa opposition team. Unlike her two teammates that smiled to the audience before making their way to the podium, nakayuko lang siya ng kaunti dala-dala ang notes niya. Pinatong niya ito sa podium at in-adjust ang mic pababa malapit sa kanyang mga labi. 

 

Anyone who examined privately owned prisons had to come to the conclusion that they are abhorrent and must be eliminated,” Her voice echoed loud and clear. 

“But they can also be low-hanging fruit used by opportunistic Democrats to ignore the much larger problem of — and solutions to — mass incarceration. Private prisons should be abolished. But if the problem is the profit — institutions unjustly benefiting from the labor of incarcerated people — the fight against private prisons is only a beginning. Political figures and others serious about fighting injustice must engage with the profit motives of federally and state-funded prisons as well, and seriously consider the abolition of all prisons — as they are all for profit...” 

 

She continued on with her speech ng mga ilang minuto pa. Naiintindihan ko naman ang sinasabi niya, kung hindi ako mag-zone out. Hindi ko kasi maiwasan na bigyang pansin ang pisikal niyang anyo. She was standing behind a podium half her size, but you couldn’t really hide her allure and charisma.  

While she’s a force to be reckoned with, there is something tender na nararamdaman ko from her aura. 

She exhaled deeply matapos ang last Whip.  

Tumingin siya panandalian sa audience at ngumiti. 

So pwede pala. 

Hindi ko namalayang I was doing the same. She signaled the commentator with a nod at isinara ang pamphlet niya. 

 I looked over sa tabi ko. 

 Pare-parehas lang kami ng reaction. 

There was a high chance that we would bag the championship.  

Ayoko  i-jinx. Pero ang lakas lang ng pakiramdam ko. 

The judges instructed all the contestants na pumunta sa waiting room back stage habang binibilang ang points ng bawat isa sa kanila. The accumulated will decide kung sino ang mananalo. 

“Gusto ko nang mag-bathroom break pero I might miss something” Sabi ni Giselle na hindi mapakali sa upuan. 

“Same, Pres! Let’s just do it real quick. How ‘bout you, Win?” Hinila siya ni Somi. 

“Go lang, mamaya na ‘ko”  

Medyo malakas ang commotion at nakabukas na ang karamihan ng mga ilaw sa auditorium. Sobrang puno pala talaga dito sa loob. Ang dami din atang pupunta sa washroom. So good luck talaga sa pila.  

Habang naghihintay, kinuha ko muna ang journal ko along with the clear folder kung saan nakalagay ‘yung default questionnaire na binigay sa amin. 

 Ni-review ko na rin ang mga dinagdag ko na questions that I curated earlier during the competition, crossed out some and then revised. 

Ngayong iniisip ko ang interview na gagawin namin nila Somi, hindi na rin ako mapakali .Naeexcite ako and at the same time, kinakabahan. 

I was just hoping that I wouldn’t mess up so I can talk to Katarina casually.  

And maybe get more of that soft smile na mabilis lang niyang bawiin matapos ang competition. 

 

  

 

Credit: https://www.procon.org/headlines/private-prisons-top-3-pros-and-cons/ 

 

 

 

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expectokedavra
I say it here: they’re together in the end. But this is all about their journey towards forgiveness and acceptance. So ang masasabi ko lang ay prepare for the ride.

Comments

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_soshivelvet
#1
Read the first chapter ulit. Iyak si ante ih 🤧
lattecream #2
Chapter 3: imy
EzraSeige
#3
Chapter 3: 😣😤😣💙❄
lattecream #4
Chapter 3: GEJVDJE STRANGERS TO ENEMIES TO LOVERS TO STRANGERS ??;)4?&3?3&;?3&?;; pls ang cute cute nila (pano napunta sa hiwalayan)
tuckoz #5
Chapter 1: angst na naman ang aking almusal huhu
lattecream #6
Chapter 2: read nanaman ako gsjwvdhdbs ILY OTOR
lattecream #7
ang ganda po pls nakakailang reread na ko (kagabi lang ako nagstart)
lattecream #8
Chapter 1: HUHU I LOVE THIS
eightcount #9
Chapter 1: lol i’m too emotional rn to handle angst. please tell me may redemption arc ang chapter na to 🥲 may brick & mortar ba sa cubao expo?
howdoyouknowmee
541 streak #10
Chapter 1: HALA ANG SAKIT NAMAN NUN