this is a sequel to my other fic "Make It Taste Like Love". please make sure to read it first if you haven't^^ hope you'll enjoy this piece!

_____

Hyukjae sees him sleeping peacefully – curled on the side while clinging onto the man in his sleep – in the bed the two of them never could call theirs. Because it wasn’t. It never was theirs.

Theirs bed would be in their house. In that spacious house with a big backyard for all the dogs he wants to run happily there and at least two floors and a balcony because Donghae loves watching the night city view when he has an opportunity. It’s just that he almost never has it.

Because they’re not living together. In fact, the worlds they live in are too different to collide for many more reasons.

Hyukjae never thought about the way the younger lives, and the latter never was eager to invite him in his house. It was a pure accident the man saw it. He wasn’t supposed to go to the younger’s apartment even – they were just boss and his subordinate, after all – but he just… went there yesterday. Not because there was an occasion. Not because of an accident. He just went to see where Donghae lives simply because… he was curious. No need to look for any excuses for that action. Not anymore. He went there simply because he wanted to see the guy.

And Donghae lived in one of those tiny old houses in the residential areas for people who never could cross paths with people of Hyukjae’s circle. He lived in the building of two proper floors and one half-basement floor. With the windows above the ground, yet the rest of the room – under it. Donghae’s apartment was that one. Half-basement, half-proper one. And Hyukjae preferred not to think how even when choosing the person to have a relationship (if that could be called one) with, he picked the same pattern.

Half-proper. For all the nice things they shared, for all the days they spent together learning more about each other.

Half-basement. For no one had the rights to know about it.

It was the way Donghae lived – both figuratively and literally.

“At least I own it,” he chuckled, moving one of the two chairs he had closer to the man for him to sit. Not like there were many other options. The only room in that apartment was so tiny that it didn’t even have any bed, and the mattress the guy was using for sleeping was folded. So there literally were two chairs only. “My granny managed to buy it long ago, so I’m saving a fortune by not paying rent. My dream is to save up enough, so I’d be able to sell this one and buy something better. With two rooms maybe. I hope I’ll be able to have a doggy if I do that.”

“You want to adopt a dog?” Hyukjae asked while sitting down on the offered chair carefully. It looked old. The man didn’t even need to ask to know Donghae’s grandmother was using it before and the latter didn’t throw it away, even though he replaced the other chair with a newer one, out of pure sentiment.

The older among the two felt something… funny in his chest when he realized Donghae could offer him a newer chair, yet he entrusted Hyukjae with something as precious as memories of his granny. Such a simple gesture. Such a meaningful one. It only proved how much the other meant for that young boy who probably invited (even though he didn’t actually invite Hyukjae himself) someone into this apartment for the first time in his life.

And Hyukjae didn’t even know about his dream to buy his own apartment. With two rooms, maybe. He didn’t even know Donghae wanted a dog. They were talking so much, and yet the guy never mentioned any of that. Maybe it was Hyukjae’s fault though. Maybe the man failed to make Donghae feel safe enough with him.

The latter nodded eagerly and plopped down on a vacant chair. He seemed so unsure when the man showed up here, visiting him out of the blue, but the moment Donghae started talking about his dreams his eyes sparkled, “I always wanted to. Technically, I can. I own this apartment, so no one’s going to tell me anything if I bring a puppy here now.”

“What’s stopping you, then?”

A sad smile. A shy glance.

“This premise isn’t good enough to have a doggy, even if it’s going to be a small one. I want it to be a happy pet, so I’ve to work hard and get something better than this apartment.”

Hyukjae looked around, not feeling shy at all. He rarely felt ashamed of himself and didn’t think he was doing something wrong while eyeing Donghae’s apartment like that. He observed the walls that were full of pictures – Donghae’s and an old woman. That definitely was his granny. The guy looked so much younger on those pictures, and Hyukjae couldn’t help but smiled a little when he saw that, despite such a big difference in age, he looked so much like himself even when he was about 10. The smile faded when he realized those pictures only had Donghae captured in his early years. Then, his grandmother died.

And there were no more pictures of Donghae. Because no one else ever felt like taking them.

Hyukjae glanced at the table and tiny fridge beside it. There was a laptop on one side of the table and utensils on the other. He used it both for eating and working.

A few shelves with comics and one shelf with books – old ones. Probably, his granny’s? It was amazing that Donghae didn’t lose this apartment after being sent to an orphanage and managed to inherit it somehow. At least he could keep some things.

The utensils belonged to her for sure.

The old wardrobe with stickers on one of the doors. Donghae must’ve put them there when he was a baby – the images were faded. Hyukjae guessed there was one puppy sticker though. Loving dogs ever since he was so little.

The curtain that separated this room from the other premise – bathroom. No door even. And Donghae didn’t install it, probably didn’t want to be bothered.

And that was it. Just about it. Such a tiny premise that looked so much worse than Hyukjae’s. At the same time, you could tell someone actually lived there. Even in Hyukjae’s actual apartment – which Donghae didn’t get to visit yet – there were not many things that gave you the feeling it belonged to a real person and wasn’t rented for a drama shooting or whatsoever.

Donghae’s apartment was so much worse. Yet, so much better. In a way.

“This apartment is not good enough for a dog to live in,” the man drawled. “But somehow it’s okay for you to live here?”

He looked into the guy’s eyes eventually, and saw one of his most genuine smiles. Donghae was smiling so often. Hyukjae loved it. As if the guy knew his smile was like a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day and made the man feel that irrational inner warmth every time seeing it, so he tried to share that warmth as much as he could. Just for Hyukjae to feel it. To feel warmer.

“It is okay because it is my choice and I am my own responsibility,” the younger spoke eventually. “When I bring someone to my house though… they become my responsibility. Puppy will love me even if we will live on the streets, but it doesn’t mean I should do that. If I decide to take someone in my house, it’s my duty to take good care of them.”

When you take someone in your house, it’s your duty to take good care of them.

Was Hyukjae taking good care of Donghae after he invited him to his house?

They were together for over a year as of now. As if whatever they had could be called being ‘together’.

Each Saturday was reserved for Donghae and him only. They were two happiest souls during those days, basically levitating when together. There were so many things they learned about each other, and at the same time, there were so many more they had yet to learn. It was like a multi-layered riddle – you solve one part of it, yet there’re so many more waiting for you ahead. Hyukjae doubted there ever will be the day they’ll be able to learn everything about each other.

But they could try.

They shared so many nights, and sometimes those nights weren’t about only.

They binge watched a whole season of Donghae’s favorite show once – all because he missed the episode last time he guested there.

They were up for a night the other time because Donghae wanted to watch sunrise together. They did so many more silly things, mostly those the younger wanted to do. Because, turned out, Hyukjae didn’t mind doing literally anything as long as it was with him.

On Saturdays though. Only on Saturdays.

Hyukjae was taking good care of Donghae, but only on those days. And that was the reason why the man thought he didn’t take good care of the guy in general.

The older looked at his own knees, drowning in his thoughts, and the other person in the room had to save that awkward situation somehow. But Donghae wasn’t sure as of what he had to say, so he talked about the first thing that came to his mind, “Today’s not Saturday.”

Hyukjae looked back at him.

“Yeah. Quite an observation,” he said.

“Today’s not Saturday, but you still came.”

“I still did.”

“Why?”

Hyukjae smirked. He knew Donghae’d ask that question. Maybe the man still had to learn more about the guy’s dreams and hopes, but he already could guess at least a few things. Because even though they used to meet on Saturdays only – before this day at least – they were together for over a year. They knew each other quite well. Whatever brought them together has long suppressed the regular lust and became more than that.

And that was the reason Hyukjae came. Because, although none of them dared to say it out loud for too many reasons, they cared. He cared.

Cared when Donghae was feeling unwell. It was happening quite often, and that’s when Hyukjae discovered – ah, he really has a fragile health.

Cared when about half a year earlier Donghae found the very first friend at work. They had a newbie – a girl Hyukjae didn’t even remember hiring because he actually had a team for that stuff – who joined Donghae’s department and started sharing her meals that were too big for her alone with him.

The man remembered when Donghae brough her name – Yumi – for the first time. Because of two things.

First, he was the one who advised Donghae to befriend her. The younger kept blabbering about how nice she seemed and how they were both the same age, so it’d be nice if they could stick together. Also, she mentioned she liked the same TV show as Donghae did. That’s when he thought that was destiny. But poor guy was too scared to approach people first, yet alone women. He doesn’t know women. He’s scared of women. That’s why that friendship could cease to exist before it even started.

If only Hyukjae didn’t insist. He was trying to boost the guy’s confidence up and kept telling him he should at least try approaching the girl – she won’t bite. At the very end she didn’t, and Donghae was thriving right now with his first and only friend. Although they were close now, none of the two could call Hyukjae and Donghae friends. They weren’t just friends, after all. But both were okay with that.

Yet, there had to be the second thing, right? And there was.

Jealousy.

Or the fact that it was absent.

Hyukjae honestly didn’t pay much attention to the fact the guy was talking about that girl, nor he thought it was too much. Actually, he was really happy the guy finally seemed to find a friend – that was something the man really wanted t