Being called into Lee Yeongmi’s office was not a good sign.

 

While Chanyeol was never one to start trouble ever since he was left at the door of Young Street Orphanage at merely 6 weeks old, he was, however, always at the center of it.  Chanyeol would feel responsible for the incidents of bullying in school or the health scares from broken bones to fainting spells due to the way he was born.  He cringed as the wooden floors creaked underneath, trying to wheel himself as quietly as possible in front of the orphanage administrator’s overbearing desk. 

 

Lee Yeongmi was Chanyeol’s primary mother figure and probably the gentlest soul anyone would ever meet.  She sighed at the sight of the paraplegic 17-year-old—white knuckles gripping the sides of his antiquated wheelchair; long, deformed legs folded on the mobile contraption that was too small and uncomfortable for him; disheveled, unruly mop of dark hair in desperate need of a cut falling over big, uncertain eyes often obscured by the incredibly thick lenses of his corrective glasses.  “Hello, Chanyeol.”

 

“Annyeong-haseayo, Yeongmi eomonim,” Chanyeol greeted back, barely above a whisper. 

 

“Where is Kyungsoo?” The administrator wondered out loud, since Chanyeol’s best friend never separated from him.  Normally, he would push Chanyeol’s wheelchair wherever the latter needed to go.  Yeongmi never heard Kyungsoo complain, and no one ever needed to remind him to help his friend with the disability; Kyungsoo simply took it upon himself to take care of Chanyeol all their lives. 

 

“He had choir practice,” Chanyeol replied, swallowing as he recalled how everyday after school, Kyungsoo would him to the bus stop where the orphanage driver, Woojin ahjussi, picked up all the kids from the high school and ensure that Chanyeol was strapped in securely on his special seat behind the driver and then rush back to the auditorium to rehearse his solos and harmonies.

 

“He must have forgotten I was going to talk to the both of you today.”  Yeongmi set aside the documents in her hand.  “However, as you know, Chanyeol-rah, we will be fostering more orphans in the new year, as you and Kyungsoo will be turning 18 soon.”

 

Chanyeol fidgeted with his trembling hands, trying to tame them.  He cursed inwardly when they didn’t obey.  He thrived on the use of his hands, since he never ever learned to walk, and discovered that he had an extraordinary inclination in music that he simply learned to play the piano by ear.  For once, Chanyeol had excelled in something and been given special credits for being the music club’s pianist until this final year in high school, when his tremors turned for the worse.  When the principal gave him the heartbreaking news that he would have to be replaced, so near their graduation too, Chanyeol silently cried himself to sleep in their shared bedroom, just so Kyungsoo wouldn’t hear.

 

 “Have you thought about your plans when you move out of the orphanage?”

 

The administrator’s voice was kind, but tears still stung Chanyeol’s eyes.  “I… I’ll be looking into PWD programs, Yeongmi eomonim.  Kyungsoo said…”  He blinked his tears back, wanting to recompose himself, “that I can be eligible for disability benefits from the government.”

 

“Your documents are ready, Chanyeol-rah.  We will start the applications next week, so we can receive some responses by your birthday,” Yeongmi assured, standing from her seat and reaching over to squeeze the teenager’s cold, quivering hand.  “I can also call a couple of hospices that may be able to take you in, if…”

 

…if his progressive mobility issues turned out to be terminal.

 

Chanyeol sniffed, trying hard to accept his fate.  “T-Thank you, eomonim.”

 

“I suppose I’ll schedule a separate discussion with Kyungsoo this week, then.”  Yeongmi opened up Chanyeol’s hands and proceeded to give them a warm shake.  “Go on to the dinner hall, Chanyeol-rah.  I’ll ask one of the nurses to give you your medicine after your meal.”

 

Chanyeol only mutely nodded, turning his wheelchair around to exit the office in dread.

 

***

 

“I’m sorry I’m so late—” Kyungsoo pushed their bedroom door open, only to find it completely empty. 

 

Where could Chanyeol have gone?  He should have taken his medicine an hour ago, and usually, Chanyeol would request to be assisted to bed because he was sleepy by this time.

 

He alerted the administrator and several caretakers of the orphanage, who immediately sent the rest of the children into their bedrooms and about ten of them set out to look for their paraplegic ward that one cold November night. 

 

Snow was starting to fall and Kyungsoo was worried that Chanyeol would catch a cold.  He and the other adults spread out, calling out for him within the vicinity but there was no response.

 

It was half past nine in the evening, and the more minutes passed, the more Kyungsoo’s anxiety level spiked up.  He was so busy with extracurricular activities lately that he hadn’t been able to look after Chanyeol the way he used to.  His best friend must be so upset that he couldn’t attend the choir practice anymore due to pain and tremors in his hands, and it was Kyungsoo’s fault that they never had the time for Chanyeol to talk it out. 

 

If something happened to Chanyeol, he would never forgive himself. 

 

Just then, he passed by a woman walking a white poodle just before he crossed the street.  Kyungsoo suddenly had a spark of inspiration and headed to the park, which they both frequented whenever Kyungsoo took Chanyeol out for fresh air. 

 

There was hardly any light at the park this time of night, and almost no people around.  Still, Kyungsoo frantically looked for him, in every possible area, until he came to a clearing by a balding cherry blossom tree, that was his best friend’s favorite when it was in full bloom during spring time. 

 

“Hey,” Kyungsoo greeted him breathlessly, running up to him scrunched over his wheelchair.  He immediately took off his fleece jacket, even if it was about 0 degrees out, and put it over Chanyeol’s shoulders.  “Are you okay?”

 

Chanyeol angrily shrugged it off him.  “Yeah,” he answered raspily, a thick blanket covering something moving on his lap.

 

“Is that… Zzar?” Kyungsoo asked carefully, lifting the blanket to see a white poodle and maltese crossbreed’s wet nose poking out. 

 

It sniffed Kyungsoo’s hand momentarily and then jumped out from the blanket into a laughing Kyungsoo’s arms. 

 

Even while Kyungsoo was enjoying this overenthusiastic welcome from the stray puppy that somehow always seemed to show up whenever Chanyeol and Kyungsoo were there, he could feel Chanyeol’s deathly glare directed towards him. 

 

Kyungsoo returned the wriggling Zzar (short for Mozart as Chanyeol named her) to his best friend, silly smile immediately wiped from his face.  “I’m sorry I wasn’t there at dinner time.”

 

“You didn’t have to be,” Chanyeol retorted, struggling to hug a chaotic Zzar to his chest.  “I can feed myself.”

 

“I know you can.” Kyungsoo sighed, kneeling in front of him to look Chanyeol in the eye.  “But you haven’t eaten yet, have you?”

 

Chanyeol didn’t answer, as the puppy only him on the jaw in comfort. 

 

“Come on, let’s go back to Young Street.  Everyone’s worried about you.” 

 

“NO!” Chanyeol protested.  “I don’t want to go back!”

 

Kyungsoo halted.  “What are you talking about?  Where would you go?”

 

“Why would you care?!” Chanyeol snapped, his voice cracking.  “We’re getting evicted soon enough anyway!  Yeongmi eomonim was just being nice by letting me stay until the end of the year!”

 

Kyungsoo closed his eyes in anguish.  Their moving out discussion with Yeongmi eomonim today had completely slipped his mind, and choir practice was no excuse for it.

 

Chanyeol was about to turn 18 in two weeks while Kyungsoo’s birthday was two months from now.  They were currently the oldest wards in the orphanage and Young Street was running out of rooms to accommodate the younger orphans.  While Chanyeol and Kyungsoo’s room was the smallest out of all the bedrooms, it could still be used for children who were more in need. 

 

“Chanyeol-rah… I’m sorry I wasn’t there,” Kyungsoo whispered, squeezing Chanyeol’s shoulder, which was now quivering from soundless sobs. 

 

“I don’t know what I’m going to do now,” Chanyeol wept, tears overpowering him, as Zzar began cooing and cuddling him. 

 

“Chanyeol-rah.” Kyungsoo bent over to hug the both of them.  “I promised I would go with you, didn’t I?  We would move out together.”

 

“And then what?”  Chanyeol looked up at him with big, misty, accusing eyes.  “I’ll continue to be a burden to you?  No one wanted me for the past 18 years so who’s going to want me now?!”

 

“I’ve never considered you a burden!” Kyungsoo cried, utterly shocked as this was the first time Chanyeol was making his innermost feelings known.  “You’re my very best friend and I love you dearly!  And you say no one wanted you the whole of 18 years, but I hadn’t been adopted either, despite me being “normal” with no medical issues whatsoever.  You’re the only constant in my life, Chanyeol, and I don’t want that to change!”

 

“And if I die?” Chanyeol asked painstakingly, lifting his hands that were uncontrollably shaking, that he was having a harder time holding Zzar, who started barking as though in a panic.  “I don’t know what’s happening to me, Kyungsoo-yah.  And I’m scared that on my hospital’s visit, I will be transferred to a hospice because I don’t have much time left.”

 

“Don’t say such things, please!” Kyungsoo begged.  Chanyeol was probably exhausted and hungry, that was why he was feeling extremely emotional, and he had missed the window when he should be taking his medication so his tremors were scarily violent right now.  Wiping both of their tears away, Kyungsoo determinedly stood up and turned Chanyeol’s wheelchair around.  “I’m taking you home.”

 

Zzar’s barking was getting so much louder now, that the puppy sprinted off Chanyeol’s lap and ran towards the opposite direction. 

 

“ZZAR?” Chanyeol called out, pulling the emergency break of his wheelchair that Kyungsoo nearly fell over behind him.  “JJARREU-AH!!!  Come back here, you’ll freeze!”

 

Startled, the handles of Chanyeol’s wheelchair slipped from Kyungsoo’s grip, and Chanyeol was suddenly following where the puppy had run off to.

 

Not knowing where he was gaining the strength to wheel himself forward, Chanyeol chased after Zzar, ignoring Kyungsoo, who was racing after him too.  Kyungsoo could not understand why he couldn’t seem to catch up with him.  The more he accelerated, the farther Chanyeol appeared to advance from him.  At some point, Kyungsoo tripped and twisted his ankle, that he could only yell Chanyeol’s name to get him to stop and wait for him. 

 

But Chanyeol didn’t turn around, or just pretended not to hear him. 

 

He limped after his wheelchaired friend instead and found him going into the back door of an abandoned chemical factory where Zzar had slipped into.

 

Kyungsoo was about to get in there himself, only he was able to reach the factory some minutes later.  He was stopped by two burly construction workers with hard hats, pointing at a sign that it was a danger zone. 

 

“No, you don’t understand!  Didn’t you see a—?” His eyes grew wide as one of the men was signaling to someone else a few meters away, about to press a detonation button.  “STOP!!!  PLEASE!!! MY BEST FRIEND—”

 

BOOM!!!

 

Kyungsoo’s legs turned to jelly, the impact throwing him back a few feet as he witnessed the factory exploding into smithereens.  Debris and dust and smoke flew all around him, unaware that the workers were quickly carrying him away from the site as he desperately wailed, “CHANYEOL-RAH!!!  CHANYEOL-RAH!!!”