The sound of wind chimes resonated as Roseanne pushed the door of the shop where Suzy had dropped her off. This same old wind chime, she thought. It's been a while since she last visited the place, but it hasn't changed a bit. Still as homey as it's always been.

Welcoming herself inside the shop, feeling of nostalgia washes over her. The smell of the air freshener, pile of vinyl records meticulously arranged in the shelves while a classical music was playing in the background. She couldn't believe it has been years. It all still feels like yesterday.

"Chaeyoung?"

She snapped out of her trance hearing that very familiar voice, and turned her head towards the counter. A smile makes its way to her lips seeing a face she missed dearly.

"Joy."

Her childhood friend mimics her reaction and hastily steps out of the shop counter to approach her.

"Hey, wow, it's been a while. How've you been?", Joy asks in both surprise and excitement.

"Well, I..."

Chaeyoung always seems to be at loss for words whenever that question is being tossed, because just how the hell is she?

Joy must've sensed her anxiousness and decided to dismiss the question by reaching for her hand.

"I know, Chaeng", the girl nods softly and offers her a warm smile, "You don't need to answer that. I'm just really glad to see you again."

The reassurance in her friend's smile was enough to make her eyes well with tears. Letting them fall down her face once more, she lunges on the other girl and embraces her tight.

"It's okay, Chaeng", gently rubbing her back, Joy comforts her, "It's okay."

If Chaeyoung only knew that one hug from a dear friend is enough to ease at least half of the burden she's carrying, she would've come sooner.

The other girl tightens the embrace, and suddenly, she felt like she was back in the early days with Joy and Wendy when everything was so simple. When they're carefree and do not worry on what the future holds.

She wished she could go back.

No.

She wished she never left.

~•~

"So, you just got back from the tour?", Joy asks the singer after ushering her inside their house.

Chaeyoung followed and settles herself on a counter stool, "How'd you know I was on a tour?"

Taking a pitcher from the fridge, Joy pours the water into a glass and hands it over to her friend.

"Please, Chaeng. I'm your number one stan, I run some social media fan pages of yours."

"You've got to be kidding me."

Joy lets out a soft laugh before plopping down on the seat beside the singer, "Of course, I'm kidding. But, anyone who follows you would know where you are, please. And I keep myself updated."

Chaeyoung lifts her brows in slight astonishment, "You do?"

The other girl nodded, "That's the only way I could keep in touch with you."

As if crying twice this day wasn't enough, the pink-haired feels like tearing up again.

"I know exactly what you're gonna say, Chaeng", Joy stops her before she could say anything, "You don't need to apologize. At least not to me. I understand why you needed to distance yourself."

"It's not justifiable, Joy", Chaeyoung shakes her head, "Making that very terrible mistake was one thing. Leaving everything behind was another."

"That's true. And I won't defend you for that, because a lot of people were hurt", her friend says frankly, "But, I've known you since forever. I've seen you grow up until you finally got a hold of your dreams. I was there when you got confused and scared and distressed. And I know just how it broke you.”

Remembering those times again, Chaeyoung heaved out a sigh.

"Some people would never understand, Chaeng. And that's okay. That's their right. You gotta respect their decisions because you're the one at fault", Joy continues, her soft gaze never leaving the singer, "But, I know you. I see your remorse. I know how much you beat yourself up for it."

Shrugging her shoulders, Chaeyoung lets out another sigh, "Regret can't do anything, though. At this point, I've already accepted that I don't deserve anyone's forgiveness."

She averts her attention to the glass infront of her, touching its moist.

"Not even my family's."

Joy leans back on her seat, a frown resting upon her face, "They're still not talking to you?"

Chaeyoung sneered as she shakes her head, "Zero communication for two years now."

"Have you tried going back? I believe they're still at your old house."

"They didn't want to see me", the singer answered matter-of-factly, "And I think that's their indirect way of disowning me for what I did."

Suddenly, she was back to that painful memory when her family turned their backs on her. The look of disappointment on their faces when she tried to explain herself. She tried to apologize. But, no one listened. Everyone was busy with their own anger.

That was two years ago, yet she could remember everything like yesterday.

Joy gazes at her friend in worry and pity. She couldn't imagine what the girl has been through these past years without support from the people dear to her. She's been carrying all that pain while still managing to smile infront of the camera, trying to show everyone that she's okay when she's clearly not.

"Like what you've said, I've got to respect their decision", Chaeyoung spoke after a while, "That's what it is."

"How about...them?"

The singer tips her head to look at her friend. With the careful tone she used, she immediately knew who the girl was pertaining to. So, detail by detail, she tells Joy everything that has happened in Jeju the past week. How she practically invited herself to the party, met them again, and finally gave them her side of the story.

Joy reaches out a hand and places it over Chaeyoung's once she's told her everything, "Be strong, yeah? This, too, shall pass."

Nodding, the pink-haired plasters a small smile, "Thank you for welcoming me, still, and for believing in me despite what I've done."

"You're not a bad person, Chaeng. You know that. Making bad decisions doesn't make you a bad person", Joy replies, "It makes you human."

Chaeyoung purses her lips, suppressing a tear.

"I am in no control of your emotions, but I hope a day comes when you finally stop blaming yourself", her friend continued, "Because for others to forgive you...you have to forgive yourself first."

Coming back to her hometown and meeting Joy was probably the best thing Chaeyoung has done in a while. She could never tell her friend how thankful she is knowing that there's someone who still believes in her, rooting for her despite everything. So, repeatedly, she thanked Joy.

"But, hey, I haven't asked how you are", she veers the topic to prevent herself from bawling again, "How are you and Yeri?"

"Oh, you mean me and my wife?"

Chaeyoung lets out a soft gasp while a smile slowly appears on her lips, "Oh my god??"

Joy bubbles in a chuckle, nodding, "Yeah, we just got married a few months back."

"Tell me everything, Park Sooyoung!"

"Oh, I'll tell you over dinner."

~•~

"So, this summarizes the activities your dad has left for you, Lady Jennie."

Jennie stared at the paper presented to her by her father's executive assistant, suddenly regretting that she dropped by the Seoul HQ today. She didn’t even bother reading its content. Just seeing the long list makes her want to go back to London already.

Here she thought she could use this vacation to actually go on a vacation. But, everything's still work-related.

"You're telling me I need to attend all these events before I fly back to London?", she gives the assistant a look.

The woman nodded, "Yes, Lady Jennie. I've already arranged your schedules so everything will fit until Lady Jisoo and Lady Lisa's wedding."

How efficient, she thought, And conveniently inconvenient.

If she had known that she'll basically be working part-time here, she wouldn't have accepted to do her father's errands. So much for having her free time to herself.

"Alright, when's the first one?", she asks while casually leaning back on the swivel chair.

The assistant flips through the clipboard she's holding and answered, "This coming Wednesday. An outreach program hosted by us."

“Oh. That outreach program?”

“Yes, Lady Jennie.”

Jennie bobs her head in an approving nod. She used to attend the activity back when she still manages Seoul HQ because it's an annual thing. It’s most usually hosted by their company, supported by others. And believe her or not, it’s one of her favorite activities of the year. It’s like a little breather from all the stress of work. Helps her relax and temporarily forgets the harshness of reality.

Suddenly, running these errands wasn’t bad at all. Maybe her father sent her to attend these events because he knows she’s fond of them.

And besides that, maybe she also needs this to distract herself and stray her mind away from...things.

Things that she doesn't want to accept just yet. Because she's afraid if she entertains those thoughts, they'll be coming back again and again to haunt her. So, she'll buy as much time as she can to escape. That's what she's good at anyway. Escaping.

Flying to Seoul alone when it's barely dawn was one of it.

“It starts at eight o’clock in the morning so we need to leave by seven on Wednesday”, the voice of the assistant puts her out of her trance.

Nodding, she simply says, “Alright. That’s noted.”

"That'd be all for today, Lady Jennie. See you on Wednesday”, the woman gave her a polite bow, before excusing herself.

Jennie bid her goodbye, took her bag, and started walking out of the office. She, then, took the elevator down to ground floor, and made her way to the main lobby.

Passing by the lounge area where employees spend their free time chit-chatting or playing on their phones, she momentarily halts on her track and takes notice of the music playing in the background. It was not unusual. They actually let employees play music in the area to just sit and relax. But, what bothers Jennie is the song currently playing.

‘Ain't no magic tool to fix it;

You should keep your distance;

I'm only telling you because I care.’

It irks her how familiar the voice is. How she can distinguish it everywhere, even in a crowded room full of noise.

'Cause I'm hard to love, find it hard to trust;

When it feels too good, I just it up.’

It irks her that hearing Rosé's song still has this effect on her.

‘You want all of me, I can't give that much;

So don't fall too hard, 'cause I'm hard to love.’

Because it should not.

Feeling a sharp throb in her temple, Jennie hastened her steps and exited the area in hurry. She didn't bother giving a single glance to everyone who greeted her in courtesy. She feels suffocated, she just wants to get out of there.

Once she's out in the parking area is only when she feels like she can breathe again. Leaning against the hood of her car, she lets out a snicker for overestimating herself. For thinking that she could escape these thoughts after learning everything.

Who is she kidding?

What her ex fiancé told her was too much to take in. She's overwhelmed with the information, and until now, she's still not sure of what she's feeling. She knew every kind of pain there is. She's experienced them all. But this thing that she's feeling now...she couldn't put a name to it.

Sure, she said she'd hear her out so they'd finally get that closure. That's the goal.

So, she doesn’t understand why she doesn’t feel at peace.

She doesn't understand why it doesn't feel like a closure...at all.