Solar

When the fireworks light up the sky and when the Soju bottles are opened and the sound of the glasses announces the arrival of the New Year, do think of me because I will be thinking of you!

I am here at the Han river. Writing what my heart feels in every piece of paper. As I sealed each scented papers with my kiss. As my lipstick marked on it.

It´s so annoying to be so far away when everyone else is in the company of their loved ones, celebrating and renewing their hopes. That´s why I feel a bit sad to be away; but it´s also at times like this that I renew my certainty that I we will be together soon, real close, celebrating our never ending love.

It's been 3 years when MAMAMOO disbanded.

And it's been 3 years when we last saw Moonbyul....

As the entertainment closed. We also broke up...

And It was my fault..

I was scared....

When people found out our relationship.... I decided to broke up with her. Without her knowing it. I just distance myself...

My love, we are on the verge of yet another year; but the love that feeds me is so solid and consistent that it seems to have been born with me. I am sure there is no distance in the world capable of shaking my feelings for you. There is no distance on the planet that can cool down my deep affection; on the contrary, this distance can only make me miss you even more and increase the desire to be with.

It's all my fault....

I am coward. ..

She fought for our relationship.. She's so selfless... Ready to sacrifice her own career just for our relationship..

But me?

I didn't do anything... 

I am selfish..

I didn't think about her feelings. All I want is to save our group. Even though, our relationship would be affected. But I did decided on my own. Without thinking what Moonby will felt after this.

I ended our relationship...

She asked me multiple times why I wanted to end it.  But I didn't told her anything..

"Are you breaking up with me? Kim Yongsun?"  Those words came from her. I know how hurt she is. But I just set aside our feelings for each other. For our career.

"I don't love you anymore. T-that's why I am breaking up with you" that's the biggest lie that I told in my entire life.  I wanna cry but I need to show her my blank expression. I don't want her to see me crying.

"I know you're lying. You're doing this cause you wanted to save the group right? The company? "  I knew how hurt she is. I am too. But I don't kn