| Dohyun | 

It must've been the quivering eyes, the way her body shivered in the night.

Seeing her more clearly, her entire face had been completely thrown into disarray from her intense rubbing. 

Her concealer, eye liner, and lipstick smudged beyond recognition. 

But the tiny smile that appeared on her lips. An adorable expression of gratitude that Dohyun would've never expected from such a chic and straight forward girl.

He felt warmth even as he removed his hoodie and placed it around her exposed shoulders to blanket her from the night. 

"Thank you." No witty comebacks, no snide remarks, just a simple expression of gratitude. 

He held the edges of each end of his jacket, tugging her slightly closer to him to share some of his warmth. 

"Let's go somewhere to clean up your knees." He offered, loosely swinging the plastic grocery bag he had received from the nearby pharmacy. 

Then, remembering the broken heeled shoes that had caused her tumble in the first place, he turned around.

"Want a lift? I can still piggyback my sister, so I don't think it'd be..." He paused, wondering why she had yet to mount, did he seem that incompetent? 

"Minji-ssi."

"Just wait, I'm tying your hoodie, I'm wearing a skirt pabo." She snapped back, keeping him stationary. 

"Ahh, right." 

Finally, between the circles he had created with his arm and sides, he felt her legs slide into them. 

"All-aboa—" 

"—Don't say anything. Please. It's already so embarrassing." Minji requested as he felt her face lean close to the back of his neck. 

A smirk slowly forming on his lips, Dohyun lifted himself up and began trudging forward. 

He'd be lying if he said she was light, but he had never carried an actual adult, and so his only comparison was the weight of an 11 year old girl. 

It probably wasn't a significant difference. 

They walked along the oddly empty sidewalk, probably not too surprising considering the affluent area they were in. Hannam-dong's UN Village: the home of many CEOs, foreign ambassadors, and top celebrities. 

Even the pavement of the sidewalks were well-maintained to practically shining, not to mention the large amount of brush nature that surrounded them. 

It was what he figured most would consider a utopia to look like.

A gentle breeze blew against him, and he couldn't help but dim his vision momentarily to savor it. It felt oddly nice, or maybe it just felt nice against the trickle of sweat that was starting to form from piggybacking her. 

Unfortunately the blissful journey didn't last much longer, as noises of the city began to shape around them. It was like leaving a different world as beyond an upcoming underpass was the standard cement roads of Seoul. 

Approaching, he could see the stark difference between the glistening path of the affluent area change suddenly into the standard cement roads of Seoul. 

Even just the noise was different, as the sound of passing cars on the overhead streets grew louder. 

The comparison made him think of her that night. 

"Please just stay by my side." She spoke in tears as he returned with his bandaid. 

"You're no better than any of the other guys who just want to sleep with me." She spoke in anger as he unfairly accused her.  

Two vastly difference phrases, yet somehow both communicated clearly her feelings towards him.  

"Minji-ssi." He took a slow step forward, as he felt her face slowly rise from off his nape area. 

"Mmm?"

"About earlier." 

Silence.

Lee Dohyun took another heavy step forward, as the underpass drew even closer. 

"Mhmm." 

He wasn't sure whether he was thankful or not for her lack of words. But it was just difficult. 

"About that... that kiss. It... it... really meant nothing to you right?" Dohyun stuttered as he spoke. 

"...Mmmm." She murmured. 

He felt his soul drop in disappointment. Even if he knew, even if he knew all this time, it was disappointing to hear. 

"I really am just a friend to you right?" He regretted asking the second he finished speaking. 

But he needed closure, no matter how painful it was. 

Again. Heart-wrenching silence. 

"Sunbae, I... you're a really great person. But, I don't really know my own feelings... so I can't really answer the way you want to hear right now." Minji answered in a logical manner. 

She made sense. She made a lot of sense as expected of somehow so mature and smart.  

He was somehow still carrying her forward, but his mind had gone into autopilot. 

"I know, I know and... thank you for being honest with me." He answered. 

It was him that was immature, it was him who pointlessly drove away friendships to the point he couldn't even keep one without selfishly desiring more. 

Even now, he was a monster for being satisfied by the mere skinship of something like a piggyback. 

As if reading his mind, Minji tapped him on the shoulder.

"You can let me down here sunbae." 

Dohyun followed her orders, lowering her down onto her feet near a bench outlooking onto the street. 

"I'll call a cab here." She changed the subject, taking out her phone and hailing a taxi similar to how she had when they had first gone to the e-sports match. 

But, he wasn't finished, he knew he wouldn't be able to be close with her after this. She deserved some type of ending, that was why he had come back in the first place. 

Because no matter how much reality hurt, seeing her hurting, was a thousand times more painful.

"Minji-ssi" He regained her attention.

"The thing is... I'm really sorry. But, I don't think I can continue to be friends with you." He expressed. 

"Honestly, I really like you and that's why I don't think I can't pretend anymore like I don't... at least for now." The moment he confessed, he felt a burden lift from his heart.  

"Sun-bae." She hesitated in between syllables, clearly processing his words.

"It's not your fault at all, so please don't blame yourself. Like you said before, I'm just... I'm just pathetic like that." 

There was a second of emptiness, the kind of silence that terrified him. Unable to see past the felt visor of her hood to try and read her emotions, he could only wonder what she was thinking at his petty request.  

"So then this is goodbye?" She inquired in a low voice. 

"I guess this is." He felt a single tear trickle down his left cheek. 

It was his second time shedding tears in front of her. It was humiliating, but he couldn't hold his emotions any longer. No matter how petty. 

"Then goodbye, sunbae-nim." 

Dohyun could see she was disappointed by his request by her raised honorifics. 

"Goodbye Minji-ssi." He forced a smile, as he gazed towards her, or more specifically towards his hood.

"Right..." Minji began to remove his hoodie. 

"It's fine. Just keep it." 

"Then, thanks for the hoodie, and for the handkerchiefs, and the bandaids, and bearing with me all this ti—"

At that moment a horn sounded a few meters away. It was a taxi, the impatient cabbie signaling he had just pulled up. 

"Goodnight, get back safely." He beckoned for her to get into the orange vehicle, unsure if he could bear hearing her thank him. 

He realized then, why the words "sorry" and "thank you", were the worst things to hear in an unrequited crush. 

Watching her leave, he silently said goodbye one more time.

That's when he felt a series of vibrations from his pocket, wondering if it was her texting him, he checked it. 

Of course it wasn't. 

「

Unknown number

| { Hey this is Kim Sangsoo ]

| { Just wanted to check-in, I noticed you haven't been playing on your KT account recently ]

| { Also I recently talked to management, and they told me they'd be interested in trying you out ]

| { Let me know your availability ]

o

」 

 

 

. . 

| Minji |

Dohyun sunbae,

 I know this might seem unfair, but I'm not ok with this.

It's funny to think when we first met I hated you so much.

But, now I don't really know how else to say this, but you're really important to me.

I didn't want to say goodbye then, and even now I can't go back to acting like I don't know you

I know now why that is.

Sunbae, I think I li~~~~

Crush. 

Minji crashed backwards onto her seat, as she stared at the piece of crumpled paper in front of her. She thought it might be easier to write it out, that no matter how dumb it would be, just maybe then she'd have some closure. 

Why hadn't she said the words aloud when she had the chance? 

While it was true, so suddenly, the words her heart might've wished to say couldn't come out. 

Why did she just accept his request, when she knew even then it would bring her regret?

Was she embarrassed or just incapable of admitting her feelings aloud? 

Minji prided herself on being direct, but this was different. 

It wasn't completely her fault she was so inept at confessions, after living her entire life being groomed to never give men the time of day. 

She had been taught by her mother, the key to being irresistibility, was indifference, showing each only just enough attention before leaning back and allowing them to pursue.

Never be desperate. 

Except that she was. 

How was she supposed to know, goodbye... really meant goodbye. 

An entire week had gone by since that night, and she hadn't talked to him since. Twice she noticed him leaving after-school, both times they had ignored each other. 

Then, Lee Dohyun disappeared from Cheongdam High entirely. 

Minji lived like she had disappeared as well: desperately avoiding Jiwon, Kyungjin, their clique, and most of all Jeong Seungwon. 

She attended student council meetings in silence as she watched Seungwon continue his duties, seemingly unaffected by her disappearance.

It could've been good acting, but he truly didn't seem at all bothered next to her, and continued to uphold his reputation while still keeping distance between them.

Somehow she wondered if this was how he had lived. Being at school, but simultaneously never truly being present. 

It was lonely. It had been just 3 weeks, but she missed that time. 

Determined to confront him, Minji had even gone to the Happy Gamer to look for him only to find out from the owner that Lee Dohyun had taken time off and vanished without any explanation. 

Was this what he meant by goodbye? Goodbye forever? Where the hell had he gone?

"Unnie what's that?" 

At the sound of another voice, Minji snatched the crumpled piece of paper from in front of her and stuffed it down the front of her sweatshirt.

"Huh? What?" She turned to see Haerin and Jihan both standing next to her hunched over the large table at the center of the meeting room. 

"The piece of paper? It looked like you were writing something." Haerin pried observantly. 

"Me?" 

They both shot her a glare as if to say: who else would we be talking about?

"Were you writing down lyrics?" Jihan finally inquired, offering her a possible way out. 

"Yes." Minji chuckled awkwardly. "I'm really embarrassed though." 

"Ahhh... I didn't know unnie wrote lyrics." Haerin murmured as she began to inch closer. 

"Stop." She warned. "Don't come closer, I really am embarrassed, don't you dare try to peak." 

"Ayy, we wouldn't do that." Haerin took another subtle step forward, her mischievous eyes clearly communicating some sort of plan with Jihan. 

"I know, it's not like unnie never does anything embarrassing. Why would we be curious?" Whenever Jihan smiled sarcastically, her dimples would form even deeper than usual.  

Minji quickly stood up, preparing to retreat, when she realized in her rush, the crumpled paper had fallen to the ground. 

She watched in frozen horror as what looked to be an actual cat, dove face-forward onto the ground to snatch up the paper ball. 

"YA!" Minji tackled her to try and take back the letter. 

Haerin struggled to uncurl the ball, when Minji managed to get a hand on it.

Using strength from her athlete days, she tore it straight out of her hand. 

"Unnie!" The feline trainee whined, as Minji basically curled into an egg, to guard her letter between her knees and chest. 

"Jihan unnie help me!" 

That moment, Jihan began to tickle her backside, to try and loosen her steadfast position.

Had they actually coordinated their attacks beforehand? 

"Let me see!" The other trainee begged, as she enhanced her tickling. 

"YA stop! I'm not ticklish." Minji unconsciously threw her legs out to protect herself from cracking. 

"oof." Jihan wheezed as she flew backwards from the impact. 

Minji quickly sat up apologetically, to inspect the damages. However, as she did Haerin swooped in towards her chest to try and recover the paper. "Ya!" 

In the struggle, Minji somehow had to utilized self-defense mechanics she didn't know she had, to pin Haerin face-first onto the ground and elbow lock her. 

"Ow! Ok, I really won't look. I promise." Haerin pleaded, as it took a second