Chapter 2: You

The sound of the alarm woke her up from her sleep. Chaeyoung turned in her bed, trying her best to ignore the blatant ringing coming off from her phone. Realizing that the alarm wasn’t going to turn off by itself, she finally opened her eyes and searched her phone with one hand, the other still hugging the pillow she had on her side.

She tries to stabilize her vision, knowing that she needs her glasses to see properly, she squints and takes a quick glance at her phone.

9:02 AM

“”. She muttered; her classes start in an hour. Which she had no motivation to go to, again. Though, Chaeyoung knows that if she skipped any more classes, she won’t be able to until the next semester rolls in. Plus, she was very much aware that Jeongyeon would be all up in her if she found out.

She finally decides to roll out of bed, lazily walking towards the bathroom. She was lucky enough to find a room for herself in the dormitory that was near the university. She refused to trouble herself to be in a room with someone else, much more with a complete stranger. Albeit, if Jeongyeon took the same course as her, they would have shared the room without a doubt. But since the latter decided to take a culinary course, she had no choice but to move into somewhere on the other side of the campus, opposite to Chaeyoung’s dorm. Of course, they didn’t see it as a problem since they would always find ways to still meet up and almost all the time, grab drinks after all their classes would end.

Chaeyoung’s thoughts were disturbed when she felt her phone vibrate from the tiled counter of her bathroom. With a sigh she answers the call.

“What.” Chaeyoung deadpanned.

She can hear Jeongyeon laugh at her over the line. “Good morning to you too, .”

Chaeyoung couldn’t help but smile at the greeting, she scoffs at her best friend. “Okay, good morning. Now what do you want?”

“I’m just checking in, you know, in case you decide to bail on your classes again.” She responded, there were cars zooming by in the background, it seemed that Jeongyeon was already walking towards the university.

“Don’t worry, I won’t skip any today.” Chaeyoung said, placing her toothbrush in .

Jeongyeon hums in relief. “Okay good. Cause we are going out later.” She started. “Momo told me that Jihyo and the other student council dorks are hosting a drinking party for the freshmen tonight and we should totally be there.”

Chaeyoung didn’t hesitate to scoff at the idea. She hated being in public for too long. “Do we really have to?” In her head, she was already formulating numerous good reasons to bail on the activity.

“Duh.” Her friend said, already panting from her walk to school. Voices of people were starting to sound louder on her end, meaning that she’s already reached the inside of the building. “How are we supposed to score with hot girls if we’re not there?”

She was quiet for a bit. Actually, she was considering her friend’s words. “Well… you did mention it was a drinking party, so I’ll consider it.” She said after spitting out the minty foam from , wiping it right afterwards.

Her friend gives another hum of approval. “Perfect. I promise, if we aren’t lucky tonight, then we can bail out immediately.” She said and then chuckled at herself. “But if you get lucky, I wouldn’t mind if you leave me behind.”

“As if, dude.” Chaeyoung said, feeling a smile creep up. She knows it wasn’t going to happen, recalling the many times she’s tried to get someone to talk to her back in a similar event two years ago. “Plus, you’re the one who usually leaves me behind. You always manage to get a broad under your spell when we go to parties like this.”

“Can’t I be hopeful for my best friend?”

“You can and I appreciate it.” She said, looking at herself in the mirror. Starting to hate what she was seeing, brushing her hand through her short hair. “Look, I gotta get ready. But text me where were gonna meet up later then. Alright?”

“Roger dodger.”

With that their call ended. Chaeyoung didn’t wait any longer to start getting herself ready for the day. As she stepped inside the shower, she pondered if she should go back to her dorm to freshen up before leaving for the party. Again, she was succumbing to the idea that something special might happen, but the sudden high of hopeful imagination quickly faded once she reminded herself of how unlucky she was before. Maybe she’ll decide on that later, depending on her mood.

The idea of meeting someone was interesting enough but considering that she actually has a chance in anything romantic or at least intimate was tempting. Though, Chaeyoung knew that she hasn’t had any great experiences with women since she came out as lesbian on their last year in high school. She entered college with the hopeful idea that she would finally find love there, but it was evident that wasn’t the case. Jeongyeon considers her desperate at this point in time.

Chaeyoung recalls the first time she felt romantic feelings for someone back then. It was so new to her that she basically wore out Jeongyeon’s ears from all the worries, questions and paranoia. But of course, all her best friend could say was that she had to try, take that leap of faith or whatever cheesy inspirational line she could think of. And Chaeyoung did, when all of it happened, she told herself and to her best friend that the experience was a regret and a life lesson at the same time.

She felt new things as she entered this next chapter of her life; confessing to the girl she liked and experiencing the horrible, gut-wrenching feeling of being rejected for the first time. Luckily, Jeongyeon was with her throughout her new journey of being gay, and the fact that Jeongyeon kept her promise was comforting for Chaeyoung. She couldn’t imagine going through all of this alone.

The moment college started she had a new resolve for herself. Her and Jeongyeon finally had the freedom to be whoever they wanted to be. Chaeyoung decided to cut her hair again, this time shorter compared to the time she was a kid. Her wardrobe drastically changed as well; looking more androgynous than anything, but she still reveled in the idea of buying from the men’s section when she and Jeongyeon had the chance. It was liberating and once again she felt free.

Her mother, as expected, wasn’t fond of her new look at first. But eventually she succumbed to the idea that this was really who Chaeyoung is. She was very much aware of how miserable her child was growing up. Eventually finding out about the bullying from the teachers and immediately took the next careful steps into getting Chaeyoung professional help to tend her mental illness.

Chaeyoung wants to believe that her life was finally getting back on track, knowing her mother and brother were being more supportive about her choices as she grows up. Though the thought of her father not being around to witness all of this left a bittersweet taste in .

But like she said from the beginning, she can only face one problem at a time.

Now, her only problem is finding love.

As cheesy as it sounded, it was something she was determined to do. Fall in love. To find someone who was willing to love her the way she was capable of. Resolved to the idea that she’s going to get a girlfriend and she was going to make herself happier than she was before.

Although, Chaeyoung had to constantly remind herself that it was just the start of her third year in college. So, she had all the time to worry about it. Though, the thought of finally feeling something as sweet as love made her very impatient. It didn’t help that Jeongyeon, and her new friends made it clear that she was a in every aspect. No first kiss or never had a one-night stand, not even being able to cup a feel when the chance was there. But she wants to convince herself that she’s not that kind of person.

A gentleman or gentlewoman if she calls it.

Maybe this time it’ll be different. It was a new year for her to take her chance and hopefully it’ll turn out the way she wants it to be.

-------------------------------------------

The dreadful day of straight classes were finally over. Chaeyoung hunched over her seat, releasing a sigh of relief knowing that the first hurdle of her day was done. Now, she has to worry about the party happening in an hour. She looks at her watch, reminding herself that she needs to take her anxiety medication before attending this party with her friends.

As she exits the classroom, she fishes out the pill box in the small pocket and quickly drinks the tiny pill, hoping that the effects would happen as soon as she goes to the venue. She still has no idea where it will be.

“Hey Chaeng.” A soft voice from behind catches her attention.

Chaeyoung slowly turns around to see her tall friend smiling at her. “Oh, hi Tzuyu.” She says with a soft smile. “Are you also going to the thing later?”

Tzuyu could only grimace at the thought, feeling the same way as Chaeyoung the first time she heard about it. “Yeah, but I think I’m just gonna eat and maybe quietly slip out.”

“Why not just decline if that’s the case?”

She sighs and gives a cute shrug. “Jihyo said she’ll take attendance and if it threatens my record, I’d rather sacrifice my comfort.” The tall friend confesses.

Chaeyoung couldn’t help but agree, as ridiculous as it sounds. It seems that Jihyo had to come up with a bull excuse to make everyone go to the event that night. Although, Chaeyoung doesn’t really care about that aspect of school, recalling the times she’s skipped classes in her past years. But she’s considerate enough to understand that Tzuyu wants to graduate with high grades and have a clean record, she couldn’t help but let her friend be.

“Do you know where it’ll be?” She asks. But before Tzuyu could respond, they both turned their heads to the familiar voice calling them from the end of the hall.

As expected, it was Jeongyeon with Momo beside her, both waving and beckoning the two to join them.

“Alright, so Jihyo said that the venue is at this local bar by Yeonsu-gu.” Jeongyeon said excitedly once Chaeyoung and Tzuyu reached them. She was searching the place on her phone and quickly showing them the directions. “She also mentioned there was good food, so she’s got you covered, Tzuyu.”

Tzuyu gives her nod of approval, making Chaeyoung impressed at how quick Jihyo was to remember Tzuyu’s conditions.

“Before I forget.” Momo started. “Jihyo said she was bringing her friends from the graduating batch and mentioned that she wants us to meet them or something.”

Which made Chaeyoung even more relieved that she’s already taken her medication. She wasn’t very good at meeting new people, she silently admits. But she can tell how Jeongyeon was excited for this, she had to it up and agree.

“Cool!” Jeongyeon exclaimed once she saw everyone agree, grabbing Chaeyoung and Momo with both her arms. “Now let’s grab a cab and head there before we run out of good seats there.”

---------------------------------------------

The four friends arrived at the venue without skipping a beat. Chaeyoung was already feeling nervous at the sight of all the students gathered inside and outside the bar. It didn’t help that it was still summertime, so the heat and warmth of the crowd was making Chaeyoung and Tzuyu visibly uncomfortable.

It was surprising for Chaeyoung to see how many students attended. Then again, the higher levels already know how much drinking is involved so that could have been a factor to why everyone was eager to attend. Although, they already had an idea that Jihyo and the council members tried to organize activities for the evening, which will probably be a bust since everyone is definitely more interested in enjoying themselves with the open bar that was announced ahead of time.

“Good luck with that, Jihyo.” Chaeyoung said in her head, seeing that the majority of the students were really busy doing their own thing.

As they walked through the deeper parts of the bar, Jeongyeon finally found Jihyo and her friends situated in one of the tables, coaxing her group to follow suit. Chaeyoung followed last from all of them, already hearing introductions from everyone. She can see that Jeongyeon already grabbed a drink and shook the hands of the three new faces that were in front of them.

“Oh Chaeng!” Jihyo says loudly, trying to compete with the noise surrounding them. She turns to her friends and lifts her hand towards her face. “This is Chaeyoung—” She looks at her, waiting for a follow up.

She shyly lifts her hands to everyone. “Hello.”

“Oh my god, you’re so small! I can put you inside my pocket!” One of the girls said, smiling widely at her. Chaeyoung couldn’t help but feel even more flushed at the compliment. She really wasn’t used to this.

After introducing everyone to each other, it was no surprise that Jeongyeon was already making conversation with the new friends. As the others indulge themselves with Jeongyeon, Chaeyoung starts to drift off once she felt