She can’t believe the decision that had come out from Jessica’s mouth. She finds it too absurd to comprehend and don’t want to accept the answer. She rubs her face roughly, mad with everything that would not go her way. Well, she knows that everything would not turn out as she wants but she has this little, tiny hope that her idea would be received with open arms by them.

She halts her steps when someone held her forearm. Fear starts to crawl inside, scares that maybe sasaeng saw her here. Slowly, she turned her body around and feels relief when she saw it was only her member.

“Where are you going? I was shouting your name, but you don’t even notice it.” Tiffany asked dejectedly when her friend seems lost and could not even look straight into her eyes. She come closer, invading Taeyeon’s personal space.

“Sorry. My mind…its poof” Her hands made an explode gesture signalling she is not in a stable state. Her mind is in chaos.

“Hey, you can talk to me. You know that right?” She rubs Taeyeon’s hand slowly. Coaxing her to at least tell her what’s she going to do now. With what Taeyeon had done in these past few days, she worries that Taeyeon will make any other move that can jeopardised her own self and Tiffany and the other members do not want their selfless kid leader to do that. That is why, she needs to calm Taeyeon and give her view on whatever she wants to do.

“I know” She let a deep sighed and encircle her hands around Tiffany’s waist. Finding her solace in the slightly taller woman’s embrace. “I’m mad and maybe sad? I don’t know. It irks me because I can’t find the exact word to this weird feeling.”

“You’re mad because of Sica’s answer?” She can hear the other woman hummed slowly. It makes her mind replay the scene where Jessica said ‘NO’ even though all of them thought the woman would say yes. The eight of them had directly and indirectly showed that they want to be together again, but the reasons given by Jessica were actually make sense. The reasons that this woman in her embrace did not hear because she left hastily. “Sica told us her reasons. If you didn’t leave too soon, you might agree with her”.

“What did she say?”

“She said she doesn’t want to hurt people again an-…. Shushhh” Taeyeon closed when Tiffany didn’t let her to talk to. The other woman glares at her, asking her to keep shut first and listen to what she wants to say. She nods at her and making a zip gesture near her lips. “ and the outcome might be bad. You know, what Yuri said before and Sica’s insecurity, they’re all valid. All of us are hurting because of this separation. Not only us, our families, our staff and especially SONE, all of us had our fair share of hurting because of this. Jessica just don’t want the wounds that are barely close, would be opened back. Can you try to understand her reasons?”

Taeyeon does not have the answer for Tiffany’s question. Her mind is busy digesting the reasons. She was having this thought before she made up her mind to go through this idea. Back then, she thought it was only her insecurity of getting hurt again and dismiss it. But when it was the same insecurity that Jessica and Yuri felt, and the members are agreeing with them, she knows that this insecurity needs to be settle first. If not, it would turn into poison that will eat up everything.

“Is it wrong if I still want us to be nine again?”

“Not at all Taetae. If you feel like this is what you want, and you’re sure no one will get hurt in the process, you can still try to make it happens Tae.”

“You’ll support me?”

“Of course, I am Tae. I’m your number one supporter.” Tiffany feigned a hurt expression, putting her hand on her heart. Seeing that, Taeyeon laughs and make Tiffany joins her too. If someone sees them, they will be weird by the scene of two famous idols laughing like they had hearing the funniest joke this world has ever heard in the basement parking of their supposed enemy’s residence.

“Please tell me why you are here?” Jessica said between her gritted teeth and watching if anyone has eyes on them. She just wants to strangle the other woman when she simply points at herself, making a faux shocked face when Jessica finally acknowledges her existence after being in the same space for half an hour.

“W-wait. Are you talking to me? Me?”

“Ahhh no. I’m talking to the wall. Hey wall, why are you here? Don’t you need to be somewhere else?”

“Oh, you’re talking to them. Sorry i get in between you and the wall. Do you want to change place with me so you can chat with the wall comfortably”. Upon seeing the infamous glare of Jessica Jung, Taeyeon cowers and make a