When Caleigh told me that she would be coming back to the Philippines for University, I immediately said no. I'm super against the idea of coming back. If it were just me, I would have just lived in San Francisco with my two daughters. kahit na ang usapan ay si Zari lang talaga ang nasa custody ko. 
 

 

 

It was difficult. The adjustments after we separated, I mean. Maybe it's a good thing that our children are already mature enough when we had to change our setup. We didn't have to have a hard time explaining because they did understand what was happening. 
 

 

 

But it was difficult raising them alone. There were nights I was too tired and I wanted to rest, but I couldn't. 'Rest' is not applicable when you're a mother working an 8-5 job. There were nights when I wanted so bad to have my wife"s company. I also wondered how she was doing, handling our son on her own. Rence was never left alone with YVo for more than 48 so I can't picture how she did it for five years. They would often collide kasi since same sila ng attitude. 
 

 

Yvo is really like a male version of his mother. 
 

 

 

After we separated, I really made myself busy with my brand and with my children. They're not a handful naman na since they ate adulting na nga. But at least I became a more responsible mother for them now that it's just me and Rence is not beside me. 
 

 

So hearing that we'll go back to the Philippines and be reunited with her.. it scares me. 
 

 

 

All this years we were apart, I have been convincing myself that I can live without her. I can raise my child, my oldest, without her. Besides, she was the one who pushed us away. So I can. I can go on with my life without her. 

 

 

Part of me still wanted to believe that. But it was all over when my daughter bought us tickets for a flight back to Manila. A flight back home. 
 

 

 

"Good morning, Mommy. Did you sleep well?" I yawned after sitting at my spot sa dining table. 
 

 

My children and my ex-wife are already here, getting ready for breakfast. Ako na lang ang hinihintay. 

 

 

"You guys should have eaten without me." 

 

 

"Nah. The kids insisted so we waited for you." It was Rence, who responded. 
 

 

Just like the usual, sa cabeza siya umupo. She's already geared up, too. I wonder where she's headed? 

 

 

"It seems like you weren't able to sleep comfortably. Your eyes are starting to form dark circles." 

 

 

"How brave of you to say that, Ma." my children laughed. 
 

 

 

Honestly, I really am sleepy and I have no energy to bicker with her this morning. So I just ignored what she said. 

 

 

"May leak yata sa faucet. I couldn't sleep for five nights because it's too loud." 

 

 

"Kaya pala five nights din ako nakakarinig ng ingay." I gave Yvo a death glare for that. "I mean, you two were bickering for five nights straight." 
 

 

 

Ahh.. that's what he meant pala. 

 

 

"Because your Mom won't listen to me. I already told her that the bathroom has an issue. Nagpumilit pa din siya na sa guest room matulog." 

 

 

"Bakit kasi hindi mo pinaayos 'tong bahay mo, Esquivel? Alam mo naman na darating kami." 

 

 

Innate na siguro sa akin ang pagiging mataray. I just said that I'm tired and is not in the mood to fight yet here I am. 

 

 

Kaya kamukhang kamukha ni Florencia ang mga anak namin, eh. Lagi kasi akong naiinis sa kanina when I was pregnant! 
 

 

"You mean OUR house, Tatiana." natahimik ako. "Walang available na workers since I heard that you're having the condo and house renovated, as well. I'll see if I can find someone available, now." 
 

 

"You won't have a problem naman mommy for the next five days." Xia suddenly said. "You have a flight to Batanes this morning. So while you're gone, we'll have the bathroom fixed." 
 

 

 

"And none of you told me that we're leaving this morning?" I crossed my arms, and Zari grinned. 

 

 

"Because only you two will be leaving." 
 

 

Ah.. My children and their schemes. 
 

 

I looked at Rence, she was also grinning. Does she know about this? She shrugged. Ah, maybe she was told only today, too. 

 

 

They all have sudden appointments they can't cancel daw, and it's a pity that they can't join us for the trip. What else can I do when these three little Florence ganged up against me? 

 

 

Yes, they are little Florences because only them and Florencia can bully me! 

 

 

I'm nervous, pero I am really looking forward to this trip with my ex-wife. It's been a while. I must admit, I missed this. 
 

 

Nothing unusual naman sa first three days ng trip namin. I just hate that we would still disagree over little things. Hindi nagbago yun. I would always complain even on the smallest things, and she would always compromise. 

 

 

"There's going to be a power interruption daw, tonight. Do you have a flashlight?" 
 

 

"Why would I bring a flashlight for this trip.. it's not like we're camping the mountains." 

 

 

She shook her head. "We are, Tatiana." 
 

 

Inabot niya sa akin ang isang flashlight, the one she usually brings kapag nagc camping siya. 
 

 

 

Ah, yes. My ex-wife is adventurous and she likes hiking, too. 

 

 

"Thanks. What about you?" 

 

 

"Meron pa. Girl Scout yata 'to." 
 

 

She laughed, na inirapan ko lang naman.

 

 

Natahimik nanaman kaming dalawa. When we're not bickering, we would always be bothered by silence and awkwardness. We've been here for days already, pero hindi pa din kami comfy sa isa't isa. 
 

 

 

More like, we still find it difficult.. talking to each other, or opening a topic we could discuss. 

 

 

 

"Would you like some coffee?" 
 

 

 

But she knows her way to me. 
 

 

 

It will always be coffee, or red wine. Sa ngayon, since we're in the province, coffee it is. 

 

 

"Of course." I replied, with a smile on my face. 
 

 

 

Florencia loves making coffee to the point na she started learning how to make them. When we were in college, she would always attend classes and workshops for coffee making or latte art making. She enjoys it. It's her way to destress. 
 

 

Then, when we got married she started a coffee shop business. We were already too busy with our respective jobs with me, building Blanc and her, managing one of her family's Hotels. But the aroma from the coffee would always give her calmness and peace so even when we're busy, 

 

 

Florence was making coffee when the power was cut down. Hindi pa naman masyadong madilim so I asked her if she wants to set up a bonfire sa labas, instead. Maganda kasi ang view. Relaxing din. 
 

 

 

So after she made our coffee, I made her set up fire sa labas. I felt guilty tuloy. She would always do things for us and she always treated me like her Queen. She's really genuine, and her love is pure. 
 

 

 

"I'm sorry you have to do all these things.." I finally said when she sat beside me, immediately giving her cup of coffee. 

 

 

"What do you mean about that?" 
 

 

 

"Well, you made coffee and now you even made fire just because I randomly asked you to," 

 

 

"There's no neee to say sorry for that, Tatiana." she slightly chuckled, revealing that small dimple of hers. "Remember when we used to go camping sa Rizal?" 
 

 

 

We are... were a very spontaneous couple. We both like adventures kasi. Mahilig siya mag camp and build ng tents. Kahit sa California, ginagawa namin iyon. Those trips are rejuvenating kasi. 
 

 

 

"Hmm.. days when we would leave the kids to relax away from the city." 

 

 

She nodded. "I love it when you would stare at me as I build the tent or start the fire. It's making me feel how much you love me. And how much you're smitten sa akin." 

 

 

Hinampas ko nga sa braso. This woman! 

 

 

"You're funny.." was all I can say. 

 

 

"Yiee, hindi siya nag-disagree." sinamaan ko ng tingin. "I like it when your face betrays you. You would always say things in contrast sa sinasabi ko pero your eyes are failing you." 

 

 

"Oh, shut up." 
 

 

Because she's right! I can feel my face burning and I cant stop my lips from forming a smile! She just kept on laughing at me, probably enjoying seeing me this embarrased. 

 

 

 

"In all seriousness though," she sips from her mug. "Thank you, Tatiana.." 

 

 

Her voice started sounding serious and so did my facial expression. 

 

 

"For what?" 

 

 

"For being a good mother to our children. You raised them well, Iana." 

 

 

It made me smile. Not for the kilig, just.. I don't know. Hearing it from my ex-wife, the mother of my children.. it felt more than a compliment. It gave me a feeling of satisfaction and validity. 

 

 

"We.." I said, "We raised them well, Rence." 
 

 

 

I was always the one na hands-on sa mga anak namin even when they were young. I'm busy, too, pero Florence has more commitments but she would always make time for our family. Although really busy, she makes sure that we would eat together as a family during dinner. She would take out our children to the mall every weekend, and we would travel out of the country every summer. 
 

 

 

She's busy, we both are. Pero our number one priority is still our family. We would always make time for our kids no matter how occupied we are. 
 

 

 

"When I was left alone with the two kids, my respect and admirition towards you increased." I gulped. "I told myself na, wow. Tatiana is really something. She's different when she's just being herself and when she's a mother to our children. Para kang may super powers, eh. I always wondered how you were able to juggle work and nursing our children." 

 

 

"Kasi, I wanted to be a mother to them." I said, locking my eyes on her. "Yes, we do have money to hire helpers, and nannies. It would have made our lives easier. Pero I wanted our children to experience the love and care of their mothers. Na kahit busy tayo, it is always them before anything else." 

 

 

 

"And I really, really, admire you for that." 
 

 

 

I smiled in return. "Our children are no longer kids. Minsan lang sila maging bata. So while they were still toddlers, while they were still babies, I wanted to be there always for them. Kasi right now, they are almost at an age where they would soon have a life of their own. At least, I watched them grow up without any regrets na sana, I spent more time with them when they were little." 

 

 

"Time flies. They grew up so fast.." 

 

 

 

"Yeah, parang kahapon lang when you were too scared to carry Zari. You had the same reaction whenever I gave birth." 
 

 

 

Sabay kami natawa. 

 

 

"Hayy, I miss our babies." she grinned. "Sana pala umisa pa tayo." 
 

 

 

Hindi ko iyon pinansin. After Xia was born, I told her that I wouldn't get pregnant ulit. Nakakapagod kaya yung tatlo na halos sunod sunod! If she want another child, she should carry it herself. Ayaw niya naman. 

 

 

 

The cold breeze touched my skin. My coffee is already turning cold. They said na the power interruption will last for two hours. Ang tagal naman ng oras. 
 

 

 

"How are you?" 
 

 

 

I felt how she was contemplating on asking me a question. Kanina pa kasi siya parang uncomfortable. I couldn't read minds pero I know na she's arguing with her mind right now. 

 

 

 

Until she was finally able to ask the question. 
 

 

 

"The last five years were the hardest years of my life." was all I managed to say. 
 

 

 

Nag-iwas siya ng tingin. 
 

 

 

We... are not doing the blaming game. When we decided to part ways five years ago, we didn't blame each other. It was no one's fault. 
 

 

 

I know that part of it happened because of me, so I never blamed her for what happened. Looking back, I know that we both needed that break. 
 

 

 

"There were nights when I simply just wanted to have you beside me. I felt incomplete. I couldn't rest, even when I want to." 
 

 

 

"I'm sorry.." 

 

 

Ah. Akala ko I'm strong, eh. Pero bakit ako umiiyak ngayon dahil sa simpleng sorry niya? 
 

 

 

"I needed it. We.. needed it." I nodded. "Still, I'm sorry." 
 

 

"Another sorry from you and I'll spank your head." 
 

 

She slowly chuckled. 

 

 

Gosh, I so love this woman. 
 

 

We've been together for almost half of our lives but my feelings for her remains. She has been my best friend, my number one fan, my partner, my wife, the mother of my children. 
 

 

I have lived a comfortable life until then, I am successful, I have kind, beautiful, smart children and I'm healthy. But all these -- everything I have now is meaningless if Florencia is not in my life. 
 

 

 

"I'm really glad that you came home with the kids." she said, "I didn't know how to prepare when I heard from Zari herself." 

 

 

"She was the most excited." 

 

 

"Quite obvious. So.. akala ko at first she was just joking. Kasi I remember you swearing na you'll never come back, once you leave." 
 

 

 

This time was my turn to laugh. "I ate what I said." 

 

 

There was a long period of silence between us. But this time, I couldn't feel the tension. She was more relaxed and calm.

 

 

 

"Tatiana.." she suddenly called for my name. 

 

 

"Hmm?" 

 

 

"I want us to try again." 
 

 

 

Napatingin ako sa kaniya, although a bit dark, I can see how serious her face is, how genuine it is, and how bad she wanted this. 
 

 

 

Just then, the power was turn back on, lighting the whole place, revealing a much clearer view of her. She was keenly waiting for my answer, like it's the second most important question she's asked me. 
 

 

 

"Then let's try again." 

 

 

I gave her my biggest smile, one I haven't given anyone since we separated. 
 

 

I think that was also enough assurance that I agree with what she wants. I am more than willing to try again, with her. 
 

 

 

I came home because part of me was hoping we could fix our relationship, that we could make our family complete, again. 
 

 

 

And it's really happening.