For the next week, Chaeyoung was almost a recluse. Rumours had circulated about the lockdown on the palace and the heavy military and police patrols that night, but they’d been smoothed over by Chaeyoung’s head of Public Affairs, as well as a statement from Choi Siwon on behalf of the military. The headlines attributed it to nothing more than a security breach of the Crown’s personal servers, containing confidential files. A woman had been apprehended, and as Chaeyoung stared at the face of the nanny who’d made off with her daughter, she felt a flicker of satisfaction, knowing that she’d be prosecuted and locked away for a long time. She couldn’t help but wonder how much Eunhye had offered her. Her mother’s body had been recovered at Chaeyoung’s request, and a few days later she’d secretly been buried in her family’s mausoleum, with no service or ceremony, already supposed to have been dead. It was the most that she could offer Eunhye, given her conflicted feelings about her.

No statements were given by any of the Royal Family, or close friends, and Chaeyoung didn’t make any appearances outside of the palace. Most of her time, she sat in the nursery, with Joohyun, stretched out on the carpeted floor with the two princesses, now a month old, nursing them in the armchairs, or Chaeyoung would sing little rhymes and Joohyun would speak to them in different languages. For the most part, the newborns slept intermittently, blissfully unaware of the two mom’s anxiously watching over them, but when they were awake, they were happily snuggled without much fuss. They never made much of a fuss. It was a relief for Chaeyoung, to have a bit of peace for herself, but it also gave her too much time to think.

She’d been sat in the nursery, sitting in the patch of weak sunlight streaming in through the large window, both babies in their bassinets, when Joohyun walked in. Mid-morning tea was brought in behind her, with a collection of fruits and tiny, perfect cakes, and she gave her wife a tired smile as Joohyun walked over to her, dropping a kiss on the top of her head. A small table was set up for them so that they could enjoy their tea, and Chaeyoung quietly let Joohyun pour a cup of Earl Grey for her.

“I’ve invited Jennie and Taehee for lunch,” Joohyun eventually broke the silence, gently blowing on the steaming cup as she waited for Chaeyoung’s reply.

With a small sigh, she grimaced. “I’m not that hungry.”

As she reached for one of the small cakes, Joohyun jerked the plate out of reach and gave her a reproving look. “Then I’ll send these back to the kitchens, shall I?” she asked, arching an eyebrow. As Chaeyoung opened to object, Joohyun let out a quick laugh and slid the plate back towards her, her expression softening slightly. “You haven’t seen them all week, Chaeyoung. Jennie thinks you’re avoiding her.”

“I am.”

“Oh?”

Swallowing the lump in , Chaeyoung pulled her hand back from the little lemon cake topped with whipped cream, her appetite somewhat diminished as she settled back in her chair. She didn’t know what to say, how to properly explain what she was feeling, and she wished that Joohyun would stop looking at her.

“That’s why you’ve been shutting yourself up in here so much?”

“No, I just- I don’t want to leave them alone. It’s not about Jennie, not really. ”

“She wanted to protect you, you know. She thinks you blame her for… well, Lisa.”

Shaking her head, Chaeyoung gave her a conflicted look. “No. No, I could never blame her for that, or blame Lisa either. I just… I feel guilty. I feel guilty, because for the first time since I was thirteen, I’m not afraid anymore. It’s like… like this giant weight has been lifted off my shoulders, and I didn’t even know I was carrying it, because it just got heavier and heavier as the years went by. And I thought knowing that it was her… I thought that had made it all okay, but it didn’t. There was only one way this could’ve ended. I realise now that if I’d let her go… I’d spend the rest of my life afraid. And I feel guilty, because I’m relieved. I’m relieved that my own mother is dead, and I shouldn’t- I don’t feel bad. I feel guilty because I should be mourning her, but I just… I can’t. I spent too long doing that - all those years - and she’s been dead in my mind for so long, and now… I don’t know what I’ve lost. I’m confused, because I’m upset, but I think I’m only upset because I should be upset. I don’t feel… well, anything. This past week, I’ve been trying to figure out how I feel about it, and I just feel light, and that frightens me a little.”

Slowly climbing to her feet, Joohyun rounded the table and sank down to her knees, reaching out to brush Chaeyoung’s hair out of her face, a soft look of sadness in her green eyes, and she gave her a wavering smile. “It’s okay to be confused. The past couple of months have been… bloody crazy. I wouldn’t expect you to be okay.”

“But you are.”

“I haven’t gone through the same things you have. The most stressful thing I’ve had to go through over the past year was early labour and my daughter being kidnapped. You… well, you went through that and more. And I’m not nearly as okay as you think I am; I’m worried about you.”

Letting out a soft laugh, Chaeyoung gave her a smile, covering her hand with her own as she leant into Joohyun’s warm touch. “You don’t have to worry about me.”

“Of course I do,” Joohyun brusquely replied, “I’m your wife. You’re mine to worry about. And right now, I’m worried that you’re shutting yourself off too much.”

Wrinkling her nose slightly, Chaeyoung smiled, “are you giving me advice on opening up? I might be the queen of Avalon, but darling, you’re the queen of isolation.”

“I know, so I know how it feels. Just… have lunch with your family. Take a break from the nursery, and let people who love you and our daughters show it. You still have a family, Chaeyoung.”

Leaning forward, she gently kissed Joohyun, feeling some of the tension fade as she pulled away and let her forehead fall down onto Joohyun’s shoulder. Arms wrapped around her shoulders, and Chaeyoung exhaled heavily, sagging slightly in Joohyun’s embrace. The comforting smell of familiar perfume enveloped her, and she could almost hear her wife’s heart beating strongly as they stayed that way for a few moments. When she pulled back, Chaeyoung gave her a convincing smile, waving Joohyun back to her feet and offering a hand to help her. Returning to her seat, Joohyun watched her closely for a few moments, and with a smile, Chaeyoung picked up the little lemon cake and took a bite.

“Well, at least it’s all over now,” she said with some finality, her voice light as her eyes crinkled slightly at the corners.

“Thank for that. I swear, it was like a game of bloody Cluedo for a few weeks there,” Joohyun half-heartedly joked.

“I wish it had been Colonel Mustard, with a candlestick, in the Ballroom,” Chaeyoung snorted, “at least that would’ve been easier.”

“I wish it had been my mom,” Joohyun quietly admitted. “I think that would’ve made both of us feel better. She’s always been a right cow, and it would’ve given me a more valid reason to hate her. It would’ve let your memories stay in the past.”

Grimacing, Chaeyoung arched an eyebrow slightly, and the grimace couldn’t help but turn into a slight smile. “Your mom’s actually been quite nice. I mean, she drugged me, but aside from that, it was nice to have some company outside of people I personally care about. I feel like she would’ve rained hell on her, if she needed to. I’m just glad she wasn’t at the palace for the confrontation.”

Shaking her head, Joohyun frowned slightly, although her voice was full of amusement and mild bewilderment when she spoke. “She’s an odd one, for sure. I never know what she wants, or what she’ll do next.”

“I do. She wants us to go to Gutrin for Easter.”

“Ah … well, at least we don’t have to worry about that until next year.”

“Next year. God, can you imagine them being one? They’re still so tiny.”

“I wish they didn’t have to grow up. I want the world to be kind to them, and I don’t think it will be. But they’ll have us to love them enough to make up for it.”

Chaeyoung took a sip of tea, casting a look in the direction of the bassinets. “It’s enough to make me want to give all of this up. This life.”

An uncertain look flickered across Joohyun’s face, and Chaeyoung knew that a small part of it was hope, but mostly a wariness, as if she wasn’t quite sure if Chaeyoung was joking or not. “We could. If you wanted to, I mean. You know I wouldn’t stop you.” She let out a quick laugh, a wry smile curling her lips. “But I also know you, and I know you don’t really mean that.”

Sighing, Chaeyoung set her cup back down, giving her an exasperated look. “No, I don’t. I don’t think I could bear all of this being for nothing. If I abolished the monarchy, then everything that happened … it was all pointless.”

Tilting her head to the side with a thoughtful look on her