Part One:

Hyukjae didn’t think he could pinpoint the exact date when he first noticed Donghae. The younger student just started appearing on the outer edges of his social circle, popping up at a party here and there and hanging around mutual acquaintances on campus.

They had nothing in common. Donghae seemed to be a part of every sports club and liked being around people, whereas Hyuk preferred his solitude and lots of alone time between social gatherings, occasionally playing video games online and going out for late night snacks of ramen.

Donghae was just a cute, momentary distraction; a pair of soft eyes under a mop of slightly messy brown hair with a smile that brought a moment of comfort to Hyukjae’s busy days. He wasn’t sure if they had even spoken to one another, though it was possible. When Hyukjae got drunk he did and said a lot of things he couldn’t really remember later. He was lucky his friends knew about his dismal tolerance and took care of him.

His heavy course load kept him busy, but he still found time to date. Unfortunately, he seemed to make poor choices in romantic partners, clearly caught up in the idea of having a relationship more than being truly interested in them. And it was on a rainy evening, drinking at a rowdy party to drown the misery of another in a string of bad breakups, that he really, truly noticed Donghae for the first time. All because of a t-shirt.

Hyukjae wasn’t the sort of person who judged people on their clothing, though he did like to dress fashionably from time to time. And there was a good chance Donghae’s shirt was just a random choice snagged off his bedroom floor in a hurry. But that night, seeing the words written across the dark grey cotton, he took a moment to stop and stare, finally glancing up at the face of this casual acquaintance that wasn’t quite a stranger.

The shirt said, “You Should Realize That There Are People Whose Hearts Break Every Time They See You Hurt Yourself”

It was an odd thing to wear. And the message hit a little bit too close to home, especially on that particular evening. But even though Hyukjae stared, feeling an urge to make eye contact and say… what? A thank you? An acknowledgment? He wasn’t even sure what he could say.

The message took away some of the sting from his own bitter and broken heart, and he just wanted to let Donghae know he appreciated it, whether it was meant for him or not. Sadly, Donghae seemed to almost purposefully be avoiding him, and after a few more drinks Hyuk forgot about his bizarre shirt entirely.

He didn’t forget about Donghae, though. And when he went to class the following week, he realized they were taking one of the same courses and had probably been sharing a classroom for months now. To be fair, this was his first class on that day of the week, and he left straight afterward to get to his second class, so he often came in right before the teacher and left as soon as they were dismissed. Also, he was slightly near-sighted and too vain to wear his glasses in public, so he always tried to get a seat as close to the front as possible and didn’t pay any attention to the people sitting behind him.

That morning, however, his stupid roommate had woken him up early and was making too much noise in their apartment for him to fall back to sleep. After a quick shower, he was surprised by breakfast, which took away any lingering resentment over his missed beauty sleep and headed over to school a bit earlier than normal.

There was a group of people chatting outside the doorway, and one of them greeted Hyukjae, so he responded in kind, still not fully awake, wondering who the person with the bright yellow shirt with pretty dark hair was, their back to Hyuk.

When Donghae finally turned around, eyes darting everywhere but at him, the message on his vibrant t-shirt became visible. “A day without sunshine is a day without you.”

They didn’t speak. Never made eye contact. Yet Hyukjae found himself smiling on and off throughout the day remembering the corny message. He wondered who it was for. Or if it was for anyone at all. Maybe Donghae was just that sort of person. Someone cheerful who liked to make others feel better about their lives.

It was still barely enough to register as a blip on all the things he juggled in his mind daily. Graduate school afforded more free time, but he had to be diligent about his studies, and since he was also working part-time on the days he didn’t have class, Hyukjae pushed the idea of Donghae to the back of his mind until the man was in front of him again the following week.

This time he slept through his alarm and was running late to class. He barely had time to grab his backpack and race out the door, and was regretting it when he arrived, shivering from the sudden drop in temperature. This time the t-shirt was a bright blue and said, “You make my world a better place.”

When Hyukjae snuck into class, he noticed the color immediately, and read the words, glancing up at Donghae’s startled face and seeing the younger man’s eyes widen before he ducked his head and pretended to be busy with something on his desk.

Had he been waiting for Hyukjae to arrive? Was he watching the door this whole time? He didn’t have much chance to think about it until later. Hurrying to his seat, he apologized to the professor and focused on the lesson. When it was over, he was called up front to speak to their professor and by the time he looked around, Donghae was already gone.

That weekend there was another party, and as usual, Hyukjae was there. As serious as he was about his studies, he intended to enjoy his college experience while he could. The early years were too stressful and once he graduated, he would be too busy with a real job, so now was his time to shine. Or at least drink away his worries and relax for a night.

As he and his friend Heechul were tossing back a beer, he suddenly said, “I haven’t seen Donghae around tonight.”

“Donghae?” the other man’s eyes went wide, and he set down his beer with a clunk. “I didn’t know you two were friends.”

“I mean,” Hyukjae frowned, “we aren’t, really. But I see him around here all the time and just found out we have a class together.”

“Ah…” Heechul sighed out rather mysteriously. “Well, yeah, he had to work, but he might show up later.”

With a shrug, Hyukjae let the subject move on. If Donghae turned up, maybe he would say hello. He just thought it would be interesting to see if he was wearing another message shirt tonight. The shirts were so corny, and not really something most guys their age would be caught dead in, but somehow, even with the very little he knew about Donghae, he thought the shirts kind of fit.

Much later, with too many beers in his belly and a hazy, peaceful numbness in his normally racing mind, he saw the man in question come bustling into the house bundled up against the cold. Just as Hyuk was about to lament the lack of usual cheesy t-shirt, Donghae started to shed his layers of clothing, pulling off a jacket, scarf and bulky sweater that was too big for him and made his hands look very small. Underneath all that, making him smile to himself, was a red shirt with white lettering and snowflakes that said, “Baby, it’s cold outside!”

He gave a little snort of laughter, entertained by the message, even wondering for a moment, again, if it was meant for him. Had Donghae noticed the other day when Hyuk arrived late to class with red ears and flush cheeks, rubbing his arms against the cold after forgetting to grab a sweatshirt or jacket? Shaking off the possibility, because why would he even care, Hyuk silently observed as Donghae found a seat on one of the couches and waved off a bottle of beer.

“Nice shirt, Captain Obvious,” someone jeered, causing a few of the people near him to stare at the t-shirt and laugh. Donghae smiled and laughed with them, but there was no humor in his eyes, and he shifted uncomfortably.

“For real, though,” another person commented. “What’s with the stupid t-shirt? We all know it’s cold out.”

Donghae’s lips parted, his shoulders scrunching in as his eyes darted around the group wildly. It was then he caught sight of Hyukjae, noted he was being watched and blinked rapidly, their gazes locked.

“I think it’s funny,” Hyukjae blurted out, much to his own surprise, and certainly to Donghae’s. “It’s almost Christmas season. Don’t you guys celebrate Christmas? Damn.”

The anxiety in the soft brown eyes seemed to lessen, and there was a flicker of what might have been a smile. Donghae dipped his head in a nod of gratitude as the rude partygoers mumbled to themselves. Before anything else could happen, though, Heechul climbed up on a table and started singing, drawing everyone’s attention away. When Hyuk finally turned back to check on Donghae, he had moved away from them and was on the other side of the room chatting with some other students Hyuk didn’t recognize.

When he woke up in the early hours of the morning, neck and back aching from having fallen asleep on a chair in Heechul’s living room, Hyukjae was surprised to find a ratty blanket over him and a warm, fuzzy scarf tucked around his neck where someone must have put it to cushion his head. Having no idea whose scarf it was, he almost left it behind as he collected his things to trudge back to his own apartment and collapse into bed. But once he remembered how cold it was, he wrapped the scarf around his head, promising to return it later.

It wasn’t until he woke up again that afternoon that he actually studied the scarf and recognized it as the one Donghae had worn the night before.

The next time they had class together, Donghae’s t-shirt read, “Some Things Are Meant to Be Shared.”

He smiled at Hyukjae when the latter entered the classroom, then quickly ducked his head and let his shirt do the talking. Which made Hyukjae smile, too. Before running off to his next class, he pulled the scarf out of his backpack and quickly approached the other man, holding it out as Donghae froze.

“Thanks,” Hyukjae told him, realizing this was the first time they had ever spoken directly and wondering if Donghae would say anything.

“You’re welcome,” came a deep, rich voice that he wasn’t at all expecting. Reaching out, Donghae took the scarf and carefully folded it together.

“Yeah. Well, I’ve gotta go, my next class starts soon and it’s a few buildings away. I’ll see you next time.”

When Donghae nodded mutely, Hyukjae gave him a wave and shouldered his backpack, preparing to jog a bit if he wanted to make it to class on time.

Over the next few weeks Hyukjae was busy preparing for exams and cut back on the drinking for a while. Instead, he entertained himself waiting to see the next shirt Donghae would wear and trying to predict the messages as well as understand who they were for.

First there was, “It’s Chilly Out, Wanna Cuddle?”

Followed the next week with, “I’m Lost, Can You Help Me Find Your Number?”

On the day of the exam, Hyukjae walked into class to see Donghae wearing a shirt that was a lovely shade of purple and proclaimed, “If You Were A Triangle, You’d Be Acute One”, positioned over a drawing of an acute triangle. It was such a cheeseball shirt, one only a dork would ever be seen wearing outside the privacy of their home.

He’d never pegged Donghae as the geeky type seeing as he was active in sports, but he did seem shy. Again, Hyukjae wondered if the shirts carried a secret message, and who it was that Donghae wore them for.

That Friday, after exams were finished, there was another party for everyone to celebrate a little before scattering for the holiday break. Hyukjae was planning to go home and spend a week with his parents, and then maybe take a short trip somewhere with a few friends before the next semester started.

With no worries about schoolwork, there were a lot more people in attendance and the alcohol flowed freely. Hyuk didn’t see Donghae, and Heechul was busy wailing karaoke songs in the front room, so he wandered toward the kitchen, spotting his roommate and a few other friends, and helped himself to a drink and some food.

As the evening ticked by, Hyukjae caught himself glancing at the door every time someone new came in, and realized he was disappointed that Donghae hadn’t shown up. He told himself he just wanted to see what today’s shirt would be. Of course, that was the only reason. Donghae was a nice guy, and his silly messages brought a smile to his face. This might be the last time they would see each other for a while. He had no idea what the other man’s major was, and the class they had shared was one that was included in multiple degrees. Plus, with the winter break it wasn’t like they would run into each other at any parties since Hyuk would be away from campus.

“Hey,” he asked the group of friends and acquaintances around him, “do any of you guys know Donghae?”

Most shook their heads, but a friend of his roommate Kyuhyun glanced over and replied, “Donghae? Yeah, he and I work together, why?”

“I just wondered where he gets all those shirts he wears.”

“His shirts?” the younger man, whose name Hyukjae thought was Ryeowook, asked, tilting his head in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“You know, his t-shirts? With all the silly stuff on them?”

Ryeowook gave a skeptical shrug. “I’m not sure what you mean. Maybe it’s covered up at work.”

Hyukjae hummed and nodded, dropping the subject so as not to seem weird. Maybe he was the only person who really noticed? It had to be that. Just because the shirts sometimes seemed to speak directly to whatever was on his own mind didn’t mean they were FOR him. That was ridiculous.

Yet when the man in question finally did arrive later that evening, Hyukjae was quick to notice that despite the cold weather, Donghae had a zip-hoodie underneath his coat, and made sure to open it once he got to the party. Which could be due to the heat of so many people crammed into the apartment. But could also be to show off his latest shirt.

In white lettering accented by little white hearts, the tight black t-shirt molded around Donghae’s muscled chest read, “Yes, I’m Single. Now Is Your Chance.”

Hyukjae realized he was frowning slightly as he read the message. Donghae hadn’t seen him through the crowd yet, but he did seem to be looking for someone. The person the t-shirt was for, perhaps?

Donghae wandered toward the karaoke crowd, and Hyukjae downed the rest of his beer, excused himself from his friends, and headed that direction. Following the younger man’s path, Hyuk watched as he did a circuit of the room, greeting a few people. Even with friends he didn’t seem to speak much, but it was very noisy with the loud music and off-key warbling of the guests.

Finally, he turned, and their eyes met across the crowd. Hyukjae smiled and brought his hand up to wave, but at that moment someone shouted Donghae’s name and before Hyuk could react a young woman bounced over, directly between them. She was all up in the other man’s personal space, and he had a glassy-eyed smile plastered on his face as they were talking. Nervous, probably. Was this the person he was hoping to attract with his shirt?

It wasn’t Hyuk. Definitely not Hyuk. That momentary eye contact had probably been his imagination. The light that sparked in Donghae’s eyes had been for that woman, who must have been standing in the same line-of-sight. Shaking his head, Hyukjae turned away and headed back to the kitchen, wondering why the idea was so disappointing. Donghae was cute, but they didn’t have anything in common and hadn’t exchanged more than ten words with each other. Hyuk was just bored and a little lonely and was reading something into the situation that wasn’t even there.

Grabbing another beer, he rejoined his friends and proceeded to drink the night away.

Returning to Seoul a few days before classes were due to start, Hyukjae felt refreshed and ready to take on his final semester of the year. His holiday with family and friends had been full of laughter and good times, and thoughts of Donghae had been few and far between. Mostly wondering if the man had scored the girlfriend he’d been looking for at that party.

That’s why he was so surprised to catch sight of the younger man not just once, but twice, as he restocked their apartment during the remainder of his time off. The first time was when he was standing in line at the grocery store waiting to check out. A car pulled up to the loading area, and Donghae popped out of the driver’s seat, wearing a plain t-shirt with a Nike logo, and a flannel shirt hanging open. He ran over to assist an older woman standing with a large cart of groceries, quickly packing them into the car and assisting her into the passenger seat, before jumping back in and driving away.

The second instance came when Hyukjae was wandering home the night before classes began and glanced inside a brightly lit coffee shop to see Donghae sitting with a group of friends, one of whom Hyuk recognized as Ryeowook. And again, a plain t-shirt with a hoodie over the top.

It solidified the idea that the previous shirts had indeed been directed at a specific individual. Either the girl had agreed to date him, or she had rejected him, but whichever way it had played out, he seemed to no longer have a use for the silly messages. A shame, really. Hyukjae realized he would miss the anticipation and reveal.

The semester began, and he attended the first day of each class, eager to see what it would bring. They were scheduled better this time, letting him sleep in most mornings, and with no rush between buildings.

This time it was Donghae who arrived rather breathlessly, a few moments before the professor. Seeing Hyukjae near the front of the room, the brown-haired man pulled up short, blinked a few times, and gave a shy smile.

“Hey,” Hyukjae mouthed, smiling back and raising his hand in a wave.

Behind Donghae, the professor walked in, shouting for everyone to find a seat. With a flash of guilt, Hyukjae received a nod, and the other man rushed up the stairs to find a spot.

Only when the lesson finished, and the students were stuffing their backpacks to leave, did Hyukjae manage to spot the vibrant flash of orange at the back of the room, and read the black lettering emblazoned across Donghae’s shirt.

“Hopelessly Romantic.”

Hyukjae had been known to be wrong. Donghae glanced up, caught him staring, and then darted out of the room without a word.

At this point, Hyukjae knew he was invested. The shirts were interesting. Donghae was interesting. He couldn’t help but wonder why the other man ran away whenever they had a chance to talk. Was he embarrassed because Hyukjae was paying attention to his crazy clothing? Or… did he want the attention? It seemed impossible. If Donghae were interested in him, why wouldn’t he simply come up and make conversation?

After pondering over it all week, he waited with anticipation to see what the next class would bring. And he wasn’t disappointed. This time, despite arriving a few minutes early, Hyukjae found that his mysterious acquaintance was already sitting in class. The bright green t-shirt, layered over a long-sleeved black one, brought a smile to Hyuk’s face.

“I Don’t Need To Flirt, I Will Seduce You With My Awkwardness.”

Raising his eyes, Hyuk saw that Donghae was chewing his lip nervously while pretending to be looking over his notes. It was tempting to set down his things and walk over to say hello. But something held him back. The idea that the t-shirts were meant for him still seemed entirely outlandish. So, Hyukjae decided to wait a little longer, just to see how far it might go.

The next week it was “Skilled In Every Position”.

And the week following that; “Ask Me I Might.”

So, he did. As soon as class ended, Hyukjae left his things and skipped up the stairs to Donghae’s row, noting how the younger man froze as a shadow fell over his desk. Glancing up with wide, slightly panicked eyes, he pressed his lips together and waited.

“Hey. Donghae. I, uh… are you going to Heechul’s party this weekend?” It seemed innocent enough. They were both usually there, and it was the first party since break ended.

his lip, the brunette inhaled deeply before replying, “I have work.”

“Oh,” Hyukjae sagged in disappointment. “That .”

“I… I might come later.”

“Yeah? Cool. Maybe I’ll see you there.”

“Sure.”

There was an uncertain nod, and no further response, so Hyuk flashed a smile and gave a little wave as he said, “Okay, well, see you later.”

He couldn’t wait to find out what message would appear over the weekend.

While watching for Donghae to show up, Hyukjae managed to corner Heechul. His older friend seemed to know Donghae better than most people, so maybe he would have some answers.

“His shirts?” a drunken Heechul wrinkled his nose and stared at Hyukjae as if he were insane. “What about them? They’re shirts.”

“The messages, hyung,” a slightly less drunken Hyukjae insisted. “Why does he wear them?”

“How the would I know?”

“You’re his friend, right?”

“I don’t buy his clothes!” Heechul nearly shouted, appearing somewhat flustered. “If you want to know, why not ask him?”

“Because I can barely get him to talk to me,” Hyuk whined.

“Maybe that’s because he thinks you’re a freaking stalker since you’re staring at his clothes all the time,” Heechul snorted. “Aish!”

He gave Hyuk a gentle push on the shoulder and staggered away after putting an entirely new perspective on the matter. Did Donghae think he was a weirdo? After all, no one else seemed to comment on or notice the silly t-shirts. Had he creeped Donghae out by constantly studying his clothing? He probably was reading way too much into the coincidence.

When the man in question turned up later that night, Hyukjae was having a hard time keeping his eyes open. And as he dozed off, the image of Donghae’s soft expression and beautifully shaped chest became inexplicably linked in his dreams with the message emblazoned across the latter; “Boyfriend Material.”

Over the next few weeks, the messages began to get bolder and more direct.

“Can I Borrow A Kiss? I Promise to Give It Back.”

“Never A Silent Night.” A bit past season, since Christmas was weeks prior, but the connotations raised some interesting ideas.

One clever shirt was printed in the form of an eye exam chart and took careful reading to reveal the message, “If You Can Read This Then You Should Kiss Me.”

He swore he saw Donghae blushing when their eyes met after Hyukjae puzzled that one out. He made sure to smile as charmingly as he knew how, trying to let the other man know he wasn’t a creep and enjoyed all the new shirts. He wasn’t sure it was working, but the next week’s shirt said, “I Would Cuddle You So Hard.”