Rosie 

I wake up to the bed feeling cold and a rustling going on.  

"Jennie" I crock. 

"Rosie, sorry" she says whispering. 

"What are you doing?" I ask confused still half asleep. 

"I've gotta get ready for my trip" that wakes me up. 

"Where are you going?" I say anxiously. 

the rooms still partially dark but I see her stiletto moving towards me. She moves to sit on the bed and moves her hands delicately around my face. 

"I'm going to Paris for a couple days, just work" 

I stay silent, having an inner battle with my emotions.

"Hey, don't be upset I'll be back soon." she says now straddling me as I sit up. This seems to be our new routine. 

I pull her in and cradle into her neck, the scent of her clouding my mind. 

"When do you leave" I ask quietly. 

"Soon" she says, her hands now massaging my scalp. 

I pull away to look at her, my gut is telling me somethings wrong. But than she looks at me warmly, the sunrise just coming up and peaking through the curtains, lighting her just enough to see. 

"I'll miss you" Jennie voices softly. 

"Will you?" I ask quietly uncertain if she means it. 

"More than anyone" she says still with the same smile that makes me think that maybe my feelings aren't one sided. 

"Are you not going to miss me" she says bringing her face closer to mine slowly, teasingly, looking between my lips and my eyes as if she's daring me to make the move. 

No reply. 

"Rosie, I asked you a question" she husk, inches away from my lips. I stay where I am, not wanting to fall for her trap but not backing away either because all I want is to pull her in and close the distance. 

"I'll miss you" I say truthfully, when have I not missed her. 

"Good" then in an instant she lightly pecks my lips and pulls away to see my reaction. Then again moves her lips to meet mine again, and like the night before our kiss is tender and sweet. 

We pull away breathless, still in each others embrace. My hearts racing and my hands are slightly shaking. 

"so you don't forget me" is what she says her lips, her position on my lap and the lust look in her eyes is making me want to keep her here. 

"You don't need to do that, how could I forget you" my voice is trembling, a mix of arousal and sadness behind the truth of my words. How can I forget her when she does this to me and of course I let her. How weak, I'm just like those boys who are at her beck and call. 

"I have to go" she says morbidly. 

"Have fun and be safe" I say smiling at her. 

"Be good while I'm gone" she says seriously, I look at her confused but don't answer not sure what she means. I'm always good, I go to work on time, don't party to much. Gosh such a unnie. 

"Bye Jen" 

"Bye Rosie, I'll see you soon" 

........................ 

"pasta you're awake"

"Hmm, what you making" I reply and than backhug her. 

"I tried to make a fried egg but its a bit burnt" I look at the egg in questions and its a little more Han burnt which makes me laugh. 

"Should I order for us?" I say playfully. 

"Yah, its not that bad" she says cutely.

"But I mean if you're already going to order I'll have fried chicken" 

"Jisoo, its 9am" I say but still go through my delivery app to get this weird unnie her chicken. 

"And It's never a bad time to have chicken" she sing songs. 

"What should we get your child" we both look at Lisa using Leo as a human shield from dalgom after annoying the poor dog. 

"Chae, you know dogs can't eat human food. " I meant Lisa, but I see where her priorities lie.  

"You seem happy this morning" she says,I blush by her comment and just smile. 

"I guess im just happy" She smiles warmly. 

"I'm glad" 

I've decided that when Jennie comes back I'm going to talk to her about my feelings and if she has any towards me. Our moment this morning is giving me hope that she could possibly feel the same as me. Or attraction at least, hopefully I can convince her to give me a chance. I'm ready to be with her lets hope she's wants the same. 

..........................................

To jennie: have a safe flight xx 

seen

typing.... 

From jennie: Thank you, I'll see you when I get back x

.....................................

Four days she was gone and I missed her so much. We didn't talk much she seemed really busy so I didn't want to annoy her. I feel bad she didn't get to rest properly before we get back to work. 

She came home early yesterday but she looked so jet lagged so I haven't caught up with her properly and now we're on our way to get ready for the awards tonight.

"Jennie, here " I say handing her some sushi I made as well as  pocket heaters for when she's cold. 

"Thanks" is all she says and moves to sit In the front of the van with our manager. Okay I think, she's just tired. I tell myself this not wanting her attitude affecting me. 

three and half hours later were ready, and 3 and a half hours since me and Jennie spoke. Now I'm getting worried, she barely looks at me or speaks to me but she seems fine with everyone else. This must be because of the kiss, but she's the one that kissed me so what the , or I'm just over reacting she could just be tired or ma-

"GIRLS LETS GO GET YOU SEATED" The loud voice yanks me out of my constantly running thoughts, I move on auto pilot and follow the guy. 

The fans are screaming and we haven't even sat down yet. Idols bow and we do the same, but I still don't understand these events. Putting all of us against one another constantly, while some groups who really deserve to win constantly come back here empty handed. I get it, it is good promotion and the fans love seeing us but I wish that's all it was, a place for all of us to see each other and our fans. 

"Wheres Jennie" Lisa voices. 

"UGH, that girl." Jisoo mutters ready to get up. 

"Stay unnie, I'll get her" She looks at me thankfully, I know she needs to talk to the staff working to know what our procedures are for the night, and Lisa might get lost on her way back I think amused. 

I walk back to where our dressing room is, the halls packed by idols and staff who look frantic trying to make sure their idols are perfect, and where the hell are our managers? they should be doing this but jennie must just be getting makeup done or something, I really just want to go home and get this over with. I read the sign saying blackpink and get ready to open the door, but I pause seeing my manager from the other end of the hall waving at me and trying to mouth something. I squint confused and just pointed out I was going into the dressing room. If it's important he'll find me. 

I open the door about to call for jennie when I see it, the back of a man and tiny hands wrapped around his shoulders. They turn slightly and they're kissing passionately and its clear they don't know i'm here. 

It's heart- rending to see,  my voice is gone and I can't speak. As if she feels my presence her eyes snap open right into my own. She pushes him away slightly but not entirely hurting me even more. 

"Rosie" she says breathless. 

I clear my throat and stand tall 

" I came to tell you we're being seated" 

"Chaeyoung, hey good to see you. Sorry we met in an awkward moment." it's ji-young, of course its him. 

"Subaenim, good to see you to maybe next time it won't be in this situation." I say cooly, laughing at the end to not act as hurt as I feel. 

"You can call me oppa! subaenim is too formal." I just nod wanting to get out of here as fast as possible. 

"I'll leave you two, but we do have to hurry" I say coldly looking at Jennie. 

Without waiting for a reply I leave, don't cry I chant in my head, don't en cry. 

"ROSIE, ROSIE" I ignore her, the people around us are starting to look but they're all to occupied to really pay attention. 

I feel my arm being pulled to stop. 

"What" as I say that I pull my arm out of her grasp. She rolls her eyes. 

"Can you not be like this right now" she says quietly, looking around. I scoff, besides the fact that I have feelings for this girl she didn't have the decency to tell me she's seeing someone while she kisses me. 

"Do the girls know" I look at her waiting for a reply. 

"It doesn't matt-" 

"Do.The. Girls. Know" 

"Yes" 

"Both of them" 

"Rosie it doesn't matter!" 

"They both know and you didn't think you should tell me" I say with obvious pain in my voice. 

" Its not that serious! " 

"When you left for Paris, did you go with him." 

"I- it was for work, but yes he did stay with me. Why do I even have to explain this to you?" she says getting frustrated. 

I'm done. 

"We need to go" I say without looking back, i know she's right behind me trying to catch up but my legs are longer.  I see the girls talking between each other. 

"Lisa switch seats with me" she looks at me confused. 

"What, why. Did the staff ask us to?" 

"Lisa please can you just switch with me" I say desperately, I can't be next to her right now. 

"Whats wrong Chae" Jisoo asks.

"Lisa stay in your seat, Chaeyoung sit down you're making a goddam scene"Jennie's voice says behind me Lisa looks conflicted on what to do. 

"Jisoo" I ask. She looks at Jennie then to me. 

"Sit here" she gets up and moves so now its Jennie at the end than jisoo and now me.

I'm shaking, clenching and unclenching my jaw to try and get rid of this tension. 

"Chae, I don't know what's going on but you better start smiling and unclenching your bloody fist. We have eyes everywhere and someones probably taking a video right now." Jisoo says this into my ear with a smile on her face. Its fake of course. 

"Now laugh softly on three when I whisper in your ear" 

"1,2,3. HAHAHA" 

"Good, now keep that look. Well figure this out later" she says patting my thigh. 

" Jisoo switch seats with me." It takes all my will power to not scowl at the voice who said that. 

"Jisoo. if you switch seats, I will leave this place right now" is all I say with a sweet smile directed at both of them.

"Rosie can you stop being a kid" 

"Don't even start with me" I reply angrily, but underneath I'm a broken mess. How long have they been seeing each other? Were they together when we kissed all those times. I have never truly been angry at Jennie but right now, I feel betrayed. This whole time everyone around me knew about them and she didn't think to tell me, the talk I over heard with her and Jisoo now this. 

Before I gave her excuses and said that she was just being a good unnie she wouldn't intentionally be playing with my heart. But now, after that morning in bed before she left it felt so different to all the other times. Why would she do this to me knowing how I feel about her. I feel like an idiot for not listening to my gut, the proof she didn't want me was all there. 

Well never again. 

" What the hell happened" Jisoo says, me and Jennie both stay quiet. 

"Ask her why she's so mad at me" Jennie voice dripping in annoyance. If we weren't infront of so many cameras and fans I swear ughhhh. 

"I saw her with her new boyfriend, that apparently everyone knew about except for me"

"Wait you didn't know?" Lisa says oblivious. I look at Jisoo and she sighs, Lisa might not have hidden it from me but jisoo intentionally did. Of course she would, she knows how I feel about Jennie apparently since before I knew myself. 

"Jisoo, why didn't you tell me" i want to push her to see if she'll tell me the truth. 

"It wasn't my place." she sighs after that comes out. 

"Jennie?" I say angrily, raising my eyebrow to ask her why she didn't tell me. 

"I don't see why I have to tell you everything" she says defensively. Her words sink in, I know where I stand now officially. 

"You're right you don't" I say quietly and calm. I turn away from her and focus on the rest of the show. The dazzling lights, the cheers and the performers are what I need to focus on. 

I stay quiet in my seat, Lisa talks to me but I barely reply she seems to get the hint that im not in the mood and instead holds my hand throughout the show. Jennie and jisoo don't talk to me, but I feel their eyes watching. 

I do what I was trained best at and show no emotions besides the ones expected, im use to doing this tp the public but I have never to my members.

The show ends, our manager signals us that we can leave and I get up as fast as possible not caring in the moment if someone is recording and starts a rumour. 

"I'm going to the bathroom" I say to the manager while grabbing some clothes to change into. As I leave the door the girls walk in. 

"We're you going" 

"Toilet" and I'm out, I pray they don't follow me. 

When I reach the bathroom it's empty thankfully, moving quick I go to the furtherest stall and lock it. Thats when I sob silently while changing out of this outfit that's to en tight and these shoes that have left my feet feeling numb. 3minutes, thats all I'll give myself to breakdown. 

I wipe my tears and force myself to not let anymore out, my reflection in the mirror looks like a mess with some of the mascara running down my cheeks. I wash my face in cold water over and over again. 

"Chaeyoung" I snap my eyes to the person who called my name. 

"Irene unnie" i say in disbelief. 

"Are you okay?" she ask now next to me with her hand running soothingly along my back. 

"I-i'm fine, just a rough night" I say with a weak smile.

She doesn't look convinced. 

"Do you want me to get one of your members?" she ask pulling out her phone to call obviously Jennie.

"NO!" I say panicked. 

"Sorry, sorry. I just can't see them right now" new tears are ready to fall and I'm so close to just running out of here like a fool. Not to mention its Irene Bae. 

"Don't say sorry, I'm sorry for asking so many questions." 

I turn to look at the ever so cool and collected irene being flustered. 

"Hey you're fine, just having problems with a member and I don't think I can face her right now" I look at her again and she's looking at me curiously. I can't hold her stare, looking directly into her eyes makes me feel like she can read my thoughts. 

"Don' go back than, instead come with me" 

"W-what" 

"Come with me and I'll get you out of here. " she pulls out her hand for me to take with a beautiful smile. 

"Okay" I slip my hand in hers and she pulls me to follow. 

To Manager: wasn't feeling well, left with a friend don't worry I have my things. 

To Pinkschat: Gone home with a friend just thought id let you guys know. 

I turn my phone on silent and let myself be pulled away. 

..........................................