Review Request From: KPossible21

Story link : http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/126019/paris-the-city-of-my-heart-amber-myungsoo-myungber

Title: Paris: The City of My Heart~~~ By: KPossible21

Review... BEGIN... NOW!

Title Grab: [9/10]

Not much of a pull, but at the same time attracts a bit of readers for those who like Paris or romance with some mystery, but it is a good start. Sounds... City? Of? My? Heart? Paris?. Of course Paris is the city of love, but of my heart? How? Huh? You lost me...

Foreword and Description: [9/10]

A bit unclear. So what am I reading again? Ah yes, someone waiting for true love.

A character introduction or something about the characters, point it out to let the reader know. It is kind of confusing to me. Creative of you putting in other languages. And putting a poll in the beginning of your story, expecting how the story will end is pointless because we have not even read the story yet. = / It really makes me go wait? What?

You should not open a poll especially so early in the story. The reader does not know what to expect yet. OH NVM IT WAS RECENTLY UPDATED =P YOU SHOULD HAVE PUT IT IN THE RECENT CHAPTER T.T SO I WOULDNT HAVE DONE THAT....

Storyline/Flow: [27/30]

Using another language in the story is creative, but where you put the translation is the other. Putting it on top of the story just makes the reader scroll up, and lose their place. You should put the translation next to it in parentheses (......) <--- Like that. I mean it is creative and all but it just really makes the reader lost and confused losing them from the spot they were reading.

I feel the story goes a bit fast a bit slow. Hmm it made me kind of confused but I understood at the same time.

One Word: Wording.

I noticed especially with your wording.  Like when you wrote

"I did have male friends though."

Instead you could have put

"I had male friends though, in fact..."

Two Words: Wording, Spelling.

Your spelling is flawless. No comment.

Three Words: Wording, Spelling, Grammar.

Grammar = Few mistakes.

Characters: [20/30]

You ONLY portrayed two characters. D= Try to introduce most of the characters please... T.T

I am sorry >.<

And I give you props for writing in 1st pov and giving out thoughts and emotions and etc.

Soory but... really? A scene already on the 3rd ch.? A bit cliche sorry T.T

Extras/Laughs/Bonuses: [18/20]

You gave music to the readers ^^ GOOD JOB <3 REALLY SETS THE MOOD ^^

YOU did fanservice, with in the beginning. You got down the visuals. Crying?... Already?...

And you made the characters in love so quickly just in a snap. Second thought you put them together in two chapters... amazing... just a bit too fast and cliche. Sorry.

Overall : [83/100] OMO IM SOOOO SORRYYYYYY B, GOOD JOB THOUGH ^^

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And DONT TAKE THIS PERSONALLY OR TOO HARSLY, JUST ME REVIEWING LOGICALLY. SORRY DONT HIRE A HIT MAN TO KILL ME IM SORRRYYY <3 DONT KILL MEEMEMEMMEMEMEMEMEMMEMEMEMMEMEMEMEMMEMEMEMEMEMMEMEMEMEMEEEE

I am not telling you to change ^^. Just write how you feel like writing =D.

I would really like if you mentioned me/my review store in your story every chapter or foreword.

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For example: I thank "........................" for reviewing my story ^^ and include my link ^^

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THANK YOUUU FOR LETTING ME REVIEW YOU STORY AND I DONT MEAN IT SO HARSLY IM JUST DOING THIS LOGICALLY I LOVES YOU STORY ITS AWESOME =D BUT REALLY ALREADY? BOY AREN'T YOUR ANXIOUS? <3 XD ANYWAYS KEEP WRITING